When the Heart Lies (34 page)

He held her at arm’s length and studied her, smiling. “Welcome home. I missed you, and you are looking beautiful as always.”

Xavier always made her feel special.  He was one of the kindest men she’d ever known. Not without faults, but special. Her eyes started to tear up, and he hugged her again. This time, the hug was firm and secure.

“Thank you for sending Jackson and watching over us.”

He patted her shoulder reassuringly and returned to preparing the meal. He always had an easy way with her, if only she and Nick could communicate so well.

“
Mmm, everything smells so good. What are you cooking?” she asked.

He smiled warmly. “Brandy glazed, peppercorn steak, French onion soup, asparagus, and twice baked potatoes. You’re hungry, I hope?”

She rubbed her hands together, anticipating the meal. She hadn’t thought about eating all day, and the smell reminded her stomach of her neglect. “Yup.” She smiled, and for the first time since she’d come home, the gesture wasn’t forced.

Mia knocked on the glass door and entered. She carried some sort of dessert. While balancing the platter in one hand, she shrugged her jacket off of one arm, slid the circular container onto the countertop, and wriggled out of the thing completely.  Before addressing anyone, she took her time smoothing the jacket shoulders as she placed it over the back of the chair. She turned to Kinsley, smiling, but not connecting. “Kinsley, good to see you.”

“You too.” She didn’t know what else to say.

After a few seconds, they leaned into an awkward, non-connecting hug with air pats on the back.

The reunion was difficult because she was sure everyone was baffled and appalled at her having left to live with Wayde. If another woman had done what she did, she couldn’t deny and hated to admit it, she would be a little judgmental.

Mia turned to Max. “Hey, you’ve gotten big! Can I get a hug?”

Max gave her a big hug.

As if the awkwardness were his cue, Nick said, “Kinsley, I think Max should go up to the nursery now, it’s a little past eight, I’ll take him up.”

Max slung his body to the ground, swinging, and let out a whine of disapproval.

“No, I’ll take him up.” Kinsley held her hand out, and Max reluctantly clasped it and headed off with her.

After a short while, she returned. Dinner was already on the table. The conversation ended when she walked in, and the atmosphere was uncomfortable.
What made me think I could just waltz back into my life with no missed steps?

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting. Max wanted a story.”

Xavier stood and pulled out her chair. “We just sat down, so you’re right on time. I hope you were able to get some rest after your flight.”

She slid into the chair, adjusting herself a bit longer than necessary to avoid direct eye contact with anyone. “I had a long nap.”

At first, the conversation started with small talk. Everyone tiptoed around discussing safe topics, making sure not to refer to her six-month absence. Until Nick finished his fourth scotch. 

“I suppose I should be jealous Kinsley just spent six months with another man.” The muscles in his face grew taut. The confrontation began.  He continued eating, stabbing, more than cutting into, his steak.

Xavier and Mia became silent, and the clinking of the silverware ceased.

“Are you going to tell us what happened, Kinsley? Or are we just going to wonder what the hell went on down there while you were gone?” When Nick’s words were met with silence, he swatted the air and went back to his steak. It didn’t hold his attention long. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. Perhaps the question should’ve been why you chose to spend the last two days with Jackson instead of your husband?”

Xavier’s open hand landed with a thump onto the table, and he raised his brow, glaring at Nick. “Nick, do you need to do this now?”

Kinsley pushed her plate away and made direct eye contact with Nick. Placing both elbows on the table, she clasped her hands beneath her chin. “Don’t worry, Xavier. If Nick wants answers, he’ll get answers. What do you want to know Nick?”

After sitting through most of the meal avoiding conversation, Mia cut in. “Xavier, this has been a wonderful meal. Can I bring dessert out? I made a cheesecake.”

Nick glanced at the three of them and huffed as he stabbed into another piece of steak. “The hell with it. I don’t want to know.  I shouldn’t have brought it up. Let’s forget it ever happened.”

“Good idea. Drop the issue,” Xavier said, and then looked at Mia. “Let’s dig in to that cheesecake.”

Mia bounded from her chair, and without a word, she served coffee and dessert. The rest of the meal was like being in church, quiet as sin.

“Would anyone like more coffee? We can move into the living room?” Xavier asked and got a resounding, ‘No.’ The breath he appeared to be holding while waiting for an answer let out in a steady stream of relief, and he tossed his napkin onto the table.

“We’ll be going now, I’ll get Max,” Kinsley said, relieved to put an end to the night.

“Do you want me to carry Max down for you? I think he’s put on about ten pounds since I saw him last.”

“Great. I’ll be up right behind you. I just want to warm the car a little. The air’s kind of chilly, and I’ve gotten use to the heat.” She went to the car, needing a minute alone to stifle the jagged breaths begging to release full on sobs. It didn’t take long to decide crying wasn’t going to help. She started the car, left it running and headed back into the house, still dry eyed and a tad more confident.

Xavier waited for her in the nursery. When she crossed the room, she didn’t notice him at the bedside watching Max sleep and began straightening the books and blankets. She jumped when he laid his hand on the back of her shoulder.

“I’m sorry Nick ruined your night, Kinsley. He can be an ass sometimes. Are you going to be okay?”

The soft colorful blankets she’d begun folding and stacking were getting extra attention. Finally, she stopped and faced him. “I’m fine. Don’t apologize for him. He’s been drinking, and he has every reason to be hostile. Earlier he seemed fine; I’d hoped he’d stay civil. I expected his anger to come out at some point. Sorry the scene had to happen here. I should’ve confronted him and Mia about the affair they’ve been having for over a year.”

“Humph, nothing gets past you does it? How did you find out?”

She crossed her arms over her chest and eyed him questioningly. “C’mon, are you telling me you didn’t know? Mia happened to be one of the reasons I left. The affair must’ve gotten more serious. They can barely look at each other, and Mia hasn’t looked me in the eye all night.

“I only found out recently. I’m sorry. Do you think you’ll stay with him?”

She turned from him and refocused her attention on smoothing the wrinkles from the already perfect pile of blankets. “A lot will depend on Nick. I’ll do my best to stay. The drinking has to cut down, and the cheating has to stop all together, but I do want to try. I want Max to live a normal life.”

He turned her around to face him, looked at her earnestly, and gave her a hug. “I’m here if you need anything. I’m going to Texas tomorrow. Angela’s being transported to a facility for rehab, but I’m only a phone call away.”

She stepped back, mouth open, with a worried brow. He had become the shock absorber in her marriage. And right now, she imagined the road ahead was sure to be rocky. “How long will you be gone?”

“I’ll be gone a while, about six weeks. Don’t worry. Like I said, I’m a call away.”

She nodded. “So Angela was really behind all of this?”

“Yes, she’s been paying Wayde off for over thirty years. The payments made things clear, to me at least. But the investigators have found no concrete proof she was involved with the kidnapping, at least not yet. They know she was being blackmailed, they’ll pursue the case until they are satisfied the kidnapping was solely Wayde’s  idea. If you want to pursue legal action, I would understand.

“Thirty years? What’s clear about that?”

He walked over to the open door, closed it, and returned to her. “I’d rather Nick not find out about this. I know I can trust you not to tell him. When I had an extended stay in Amsterdam thirty-two years ago, Angela had an affair with Wayde. She never told me, but when she was pregnant with Nick, things didn’t add up. I recognized that much. By the time I had DNA tests done, Nick was already a grown man. I should’ve dealt with my suspicions when I first doubted the timing and got everything out into the open. We’ve been living a lie. We could’ve dealt with the situation and undoubtedly had a better marriage and a happier life. I would’ve stayed with her. I loved her, but the questions always came between us. I realize that now. I suspect her experience is what changed her; he must have been blackmailing her all this time.

“I’m so sorry. At the cabin, Wayde told me he was Nick’s father. I thought he was lying to me, or at least that’s what I wanted to think.
No, I don’t want to pursue anything. I’m sure Angela had plenty of punishment over the years dealing with Wayde.”  How could she punish Angela when she herself had done such awful things to protect her son from her secrets?

He shook his head. “Don’t be sorry. This all happened a long time ago. As far as I’m concerned, Nick’s my son, always has been. I appreciate your leniency with Angela, though. What the police will do, they will do. Keeping secrets isn’t a good thing for anyone involved.” He laid his hand on her shoulder. “It’s hard to face them. You understand, don’t you?”

She looked down and away. “Yes, very hard.”

He lifted her chin. “If someone loves you, they’ll face the truth with you. When you’re ready, you just tell them. I wish I’d tackled the issue of Angela’s betrayal head on. Trust me, things will work out.”

She took his hand and studied him for a long time. “I trust you.”

As her hand held his, his thumb slid over the sapphire a few times, and he examined the ring. “This is gorgeous. Have I seen this one before?”

She’d never lie to him because he was too good to her. “No, you’ve never seen it.” She knew the statement would be enough for him. Besides, she didn’t want to tell him how much she needed a reminder someone loved her, and she sensed he was already aware. “Be safe on your trip. I’ll miss you. We should talk when you get back.”

“I’ll look forward to a long chat soon.  You know,” he stopped mid-sentence, lifted his finger and aimed toward the bed, “let me get Max for you, and try to get him into the car without waking him.”

~ ~ ~

When Kinsley returned from putting Max to bed, Nick was on the sofa with another drink. She turned to go back upstairs. “I think I’ll take a bath and head to bed.”

Nick hung his head, swiping his hand through his shiny curls. “I’m sorry, okay. Things haven’t been easy. I’ve missed you, though, and I’m glad you’re home. I’ll join you soon.”

She continued up the stairs and drew a bath. Slowly at first, she dipped one foot, then, inch by inch, she entered and sank into the hot water. The sultry wetness enveloped her. The scent of wild flowers filled her nostrils, and salts from the soothing water layered like silk against her skin, leaving her head emptied of all thoughts.

Nick came in when she was still soaking and stood with his forearm bracing his weight against the doorframe. His brooding stare promised a quarrel.

“Don’t you want to talk to me? About any of it?” he said.

“What do you want to know?”

“Anything, tell me anything. I want you to talk to me. I’ve missed you. You have no idea what it’s been like for me.”

“And you have no idea what it was like for me. Hand me my towel, please.” She took the towel and wrapped it around herself.

“You’re wrapping that damn towel around yourself like I’ve never seen you naked. Don’t look, don’t touch, is that how it is now?” Shaking his head, he turned to leave.

She followed shortly. After she climbed into bed, she braided her hair to one side and slipped beneath the covers. Normally, she’d read a while, but nothing was normal, and she turned to go to sleep.

“I can’t stay in this bed without holding you,” he said. “Don’t shut me out. Please don’t.”

She hurt for him because of what Xavier told her, and she felt horrible she didn’t ever want anyone but Jackson to touch her.
How can I forget him?
She had to. She turned and went to Nick.

“To hold you is so comforting.” His face nuzzled into her neck the way he’d always loved to fall asleep with her, and he threw his leg over her, reining her in close. But this time the closeness was troublesome, rather than comforting.

Chapter 23

From reading Kinsley’s book, Jackson learned more about her. In her writing, although fiction, there were pieces of her. It’d taken her three weeks to send the manuscript, and in the three weeks since he’d received it, he’d read the book three times
. 
With the time in between, he thought of her.

When Scar came in, he continued reading, wanting to finish the page.

“Are you still reading Kinsley’s book?”