When Love Hurts and Ghosts Linger (7 page)

“JAY!” I shrieked as I ran down the garden.

Only then did someone hear me and neighbours looked out of their windows to see me running down the garden at someone lying on the grass amongst the nasty weather swirling outside and a fallen tree on the grass.

They came over quickly and found me in sobs of tears as I held him in my arms. Blood poured from his mouth as a tree from the garden was lying over him. People called for help but it was too late.

Jay looked me in the eye “Don’t let him beat you, I….I love you” and with his last breath he died.

How could this have happened? I had done nothing to make this ghost angry, yes I sought help but that was it, Jay had done nothing and now he was gone, but I remembered what that thing said, he said that Jay tried to help me defeat him or it, but how did he do that? 

He wasn’t with me when I went for help. I needed to know what he had done but in the meantime police and ambulance crew had turned up at Jay’s house.

It’s weird when I look back on that night, I can remember each and every little detail as if it only happened yesterday. 

I was sat with Jay’s mum in the living room; I remember everyone around me moving like a hundred miles per hour, his mum was in tears as they carted the body through the house out to the coroners van. 

The police man sat in-front of me, I guess he wanted answers, when a guy dies in the garden of his house and he is butt-naked, of course they are going to come looking for answers.

“Excuse me miss, I’m detective Jones from homicide, I’d like to ask you a few questions if you’re ok with that” he seemed very sympathetic.

Jay’s mum shook her head as she continued to cry holding my hand really, really tight.

“It’s ok I’ll help you, look, officer, detective person, he went out into the garden and tree fell on him, can’t you see that” I blurted out trying to contain my hurt and anger.

“Yes ma’am I can see that however we have to cover all bases” he told me.

“I understand that, but you’re from homicide correct?” I seemed to be avid.

“Yes ma’am that is correct but….” He tried to explain.

I didn’t let him finish, I cut him off, “Well I know what that means officer and this isn’t suspicious, he was killed by a bloody tree and if you can’t see that then well, you’re not very good are you….” I was a little rude.

“I understand this is a difficult time for you, if you could just answer some questions I will leave you be….” He was very professional.

“Fine” I snapped.

“Can you tell me what happened?” he asked with his notepad ready.

Oh great, in my mind I was thinking 
‘well Mr Officer I see ghosts he did something to piss one of them off so the big nasty ghost man came and fucking killed him’
 but of course I couldn’t say that.

So I rolled my eyes and I told partial truth “We were relaxing for the evening, I had been out all day and I came here and Mrs Klein was out, we watched some telly, we uhhh, we had sex and then we fell asleep, I woke up and noticed he was gone, I heard banging downstairs so I went down and saw the back door open, I went outside and saw him standing there, I called him but then lightning hit the tree and it fell on top of him before I could get there….” My heart was pounding with nerves.

“Was he awake?” the policeman asked.

“I don’t think so, he didn’t hear me when I called him” I replied trying to hide my nervousness.

“Has he slept walked before?” he looked directly into my eyes.

What the fuck was with the questions, just go away I thought “No not that I know of but I’m usually asleep, I only woke because the window was open and I was cold and I heard the banging.”

The detective jotted everything I was saying down, he knew he had nothing to go on, Jay was lying under a tree, leaves and debris all over the garden from the strong winds and the neighbours verified hearing me scream out his name and then run down the garden. 

He gave his condolences and said goodbye, everyone started to clear out and as it was a home death there would still be an autopsy before we could bury him. 

I went upstairs back into Jay’s room and looked around for something as to what he was doing that made this ghost come after him. I looked everywhere and to be honest I didn’t have the slightest clue what I was looking for. 

I pulled everything out until something in the bottom of the wardrobe caught my eye, a brown wooden box with a symbol on the front. Now I had seen everything in Jay’s room but I had never seen this before so obviously I was going to open it. 

Inside was a coin and what appeared to be instructions, so I looked and it said it was the coin that could help you speak to the dead, heads was yes and tails was no, you ask questions and flip the coin and it would give you answers. 

Well this seemed fucking stupid if I’m being honest. I had heard of Ouija boards doing this kind of thing but a coin? I mean really? So being me I decided to give it a go and followed the instructions.

“Is there anyone in the room with me” I asked and then flipped the coin.

It landed on heads, could have been coincidence, so I tried again, why I don’t know, I could bloody see ghosts or at least feel when they were around.

“Is there someone here” I asked again and flipped the coin.

It again landed on heads but I felt no coldness and no temperature drop. I was getting sick of playing this stupid game, yes I had only flipped it twice but what was point.

I stood up and became demanding “Look if you are bloody here then I know for a fact you can hear me and I don’t need this stupid coin so whoever you are come out and face me.”

As I said that the temperature certainly plummeted quicker than I could blink. Something was here with me, as I turned, to my surprise, it was a little girl and she looked beautiful. Although she was of the grey/blue ghost colour you could see her long flowing curly hair and her stunning features but she wasn’t happy, she had one arm missing and a wound on her neck. This poor little girl had suffered something horrific.

“Who are you” I asked quietly as to not scare her away.

“He tried to help you but it was too late, don’t come to the darkness….” Her voice seemed faded and scared.

“Who tried to find me?” I asked her still being slightly cautious.

“The man, he was here, he called out to us, I tried to make him stop because he could hear him and he tried to help you….” She babbled on, she seemed so upset.

“Ok, who tried to help me and who heard who?” this girl was confusing me.

“Him….” She pointed at a picture of Jay and I “he tried to find you but the evil man took him away, don’t come into the darkness” and then she looked terrified and disappeared.

The temperature went back to normal and my heartbeat slowed to a reasonable rate. So I gathered from all that that Jay went outside trying to help me in some sort of dream sleep, he must have been following something in his dream but this thing, this monster found him after he had been speaking to the dead girl.

“Who you talking to sweetie?” a quiet voice behind me questioned.

I turned and Jay’s mum was by the door “Uhhh no-one just myself wishing he was here with us.”

That night I stayed at Jay’s for the last time helping his mum organise things ready to call in the morning, sort through Jay’s clothes for the funeral and inform all the friends and family. She didn’t want to wait and drag it out, she felt the quicker she told everyone then she could grieve better. Inside I was heartbroken but what could I do? I couldn’t bring him back could I, no matter how much I wanted to.

The day of the funeral arrived, it had been two weeks but they didn’t find anything in the autopsy and the death was marked as an accident, everything was set and ready to go. Family and friends were all arriving at Jay’s house to comfort both me and his mum and before we knew it we were heading off to the church. 

It felt slow, like the cars barely moved, maybe it was because in the past few weeks I had shut everything and everyone out, it was as if time had stopped lately. Arriving at the church everyone was crying as they carried the coffin inside but all I could see were bloody ghosts, churches and graveyards were a pain in the ass because they popped out of their graves as if to say hello and have a cup of tea and a chit chat.

‘Not today fuck off’  
I screamed in my head, now was not the time to be seeing ghosts or them to come at me. We sat at the front as the vicar led the service about Jay and his life. I couldn’t fight it anymore and I let the tears fall from my face. But then, there, stood by his own coffin was indeed Jay. 

I swear I shit myself and all the air left my lungs. His mum gripped my hand thinking I was just a bit distressed, if only she knew then what it was I could see. Looking at him though, he looked exactly like the little girl; he too had one arm missing and a wound on his neck. He definitely didn’t die that way so how the fuck did he end up with that?

Before I knew it he was stood right in front of me, his one arm reaching out to touch me. I tried to keep cool because I was the only one who could see him. The vicar’s voice faded in the background and I could only hear Jay.

“He takes us to the dark place, do not come here Robyn, he’s after you” his ghostly voice told me.

I moved my eyes 
‘please say you can hear me’
 as I looked directly at him, I couldn’t exactly speak out loud, I was at his funeral, I’d look insane. 

“Yes Robyn I can hear you” he smiled at me.

‘Thank god for that, who is this thing? Where are you and why do you look like that?’
 my inner voice was all jumpy.

“He takes a piece of us, I don’t know why, the cut, it’s so painful, I don’t know why he does this, seriously Robyn, leave it go….” He begged.

‘Who is he? What does he want with me?’
 even the voice in my head was sounding annoyed.

“He wants you Robyn, he wants something you have, I don’t know what it is but I can see how badly he needs you, it’s like I can feel it but don’t come here Robyn,” he placed his ghostly hand on my shoulder, it was ice cold.

‘He wants my son but how can I give him something I don’t even have yet?’
 my inner voice was now giving me a headache.

“He will make you trust me, don’t give into him Robyn, you are stronger” and with that he disappeared.

I looked around the church, my heart was beating fast, shivers were going down my spine and I was slightly panting. This thing was coming for me and for what? Because I would apparently have a child it wanted? I didn’t understand any of this, I had been able to see ghosts since I was a little girl but I never thought it would be like this. I was never able to communicate with any other ghosts that way and Jay and I never did that again.

Things would become clearer as I grew older and at some point I would be brought into a fight I’d have no choice but to take part in.

It had been a few years since Jay’s death and I hadn’t been back to his house since or been to visit his mum. I just couldn’t face going back there; it hurt too much thinking of all those memories and the fact that I actually had a decent guy for a change who had died because of something to do with me, he was taken, he left me and not by choice.

Jay visited me though; the more he did though I felt like he couldn’t move on, like he was still trying to protect me.

I was twenty one and living the party lifestyle, living life to the full you would say. I had seen ghosts with the same appearance since Jay and that little girl, all with one arm missing and all had neck wounds. 

I didn’t know back then what that was all about, random ghosts with the same arm missing and a wound on their necks, I just wanted to try and have a bit of normality and stay off the radar from this evil monster that seemed to be coming for me.

That’s when I met Pete, he was a nice guy and seemed to be there just when I needed someone to lean on, he owned a local book store which to honest was a little bit run down but he seemed to be doing ok. I swore to myself I would never tell another soul about my gift, well at that point in my life I believed I never would so when I met Pete things seemed to be going well and nice.

He knew nothing of my past and the things I could do and I wanted to keep it that way. I had moved away from my parents so that they wouldn’t be hurt over what I could see and I hung out with people that I didn’t really have ties to which I then became friends with and still are today.

So although I was dating Pete, I didn’t intend to get close to him, but unfortunately I did. We had been seeing each-other for a few weeks when we were lying in bed watching a film. He had a small grubby apartment above the shop that was minging and filthy so you never sat in any other room apart from the bedroom and that was only because I cleaned it. 

He told me he loved me, like out of the blue, no prompting, just word vomit coming out without thinking. I didn’t know what to say, I mean I didn’t love this man at all; I felt like I cared for him sure but love? Definitely not!

“Aww ok” was the only thing I could say back to him. 

He fell asleep cuddled into me, he didn’t say much about the fact I didn’t say 
‘I love you too’ 
which was a good thing I suppose as I didn’t want to have that conversation at that time.

He told me a few times after that, that he loved me but I never said it back, no matter how much time went on I just didn’t see him that way, he was more like someone who was there when I needed someone to lean on.