When He Cheatin' and You Still Love Him 2 (3 page)

Brittany

             
The mailbox is full and cannot accept any messages at this time. Goodbye.

             
“Ugh!” I scream before hanging up and hitting redial, only to receive the same message from the operator once again.

Irritated, I toss my phone down to the foot of the bed. I’m so tired of hearing that damn message recording. How the hell do you allow your voicemail to get so full that people can’t leave messages? On top of that, how many times do I have to call your phone before you call me back? That’s all I want to know. The fact that the phone is ringing lets me know that it’s not dead or turned off. Terry has at least seen that I’ve called him. He’s just ignoring me. Dammit, I’ve dialed his number about a dozen times and haven’t gotten an answer yet.

I’ll tell you what, he’s got a good hour to call me back from that raggedy ass phone, or I’m going to act up. For all he knows something could be wrong with either me or the baby. If he keeps playing with me, I’m going to take my happy ass to the hospital and claim that something is wrong with the baby. I bet that will make him jump. If it doesn’t, I’m going to do something that I swore I wouldn’t do again, and that’s show up at his house. Trust me, he doesn’t want that. Especially after what happened the last time. I know it’s sad, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and right now I’m desperate as hell.

I’m really hoping that it doesn’t come to me popping up at his house. Not only for his sake but mine as well. I can’t even begin to explain how embarrassed I am by the way I acted that night. Going to his house and acting a fool was way out of character for me. I was not raised to behave like that. Over the years, I’ve tried my best to remain polished and carry myself as a lady as much as possible when I’m in the public eye, but just like a few times before, that day I lost it. I’m not sure what happened. I guess I just snapped. It’s not a first for me. When I get angry, I’m not accountable for the things that I do. Not only was I hurt that night, but I was confused, as well as angry. The man that I had grown to love had walked out of my apartment after I shared that we were expecting our first child together, and he left nothing but a few hundred dollars behind for me to get an abortion. That gesture cut me deep. I knew Terry wasn’t going to jump for joy about my pregnancy because he had told me numerous times that he didn’t want any more kids, but I didn’t expect him to say screw me either.

That night was a crazy one that will forever be etched in my mind. There he was standing in the rain begging me to go home. Terry promised me that he would come by and see me the following morning, but I wasn’t falling for it because he had ignored my calls that entire day. He didn’t even bother to respond to any of the text messages that I’d sent, yet he was standing there swearing that he would come over to my apartment. No sir, I was no fool, even though I acted like one. I mean, I cut up. I screamed, punched, and even went to my vehicle and got my bat. I brought it down over and over again all over his car while he pleaded with me to stop. I was already too far gone, so his pleas fell on deaf ears.

After all the commotion I caused brought Shanair outside, you should have seen my face when I finally laid eyes on her. Although the rain played a part in me not being able to see her clearly, I was still able to see her good enough. The very first thing that I noticed was the fact that she was short as hell. I stand at five-foot-nine, and she looked like she barely cleared five feet. Not only did she look like a little ass girl, but the bitch also put you in the mind of a chewed up Tootsie Roll because she was extremely dark and had a weird ass shape. She had on a stretched out baby tee and some tight jeans that not only showcased her dented cellulite thighs, but they also did nothing to flatter her bulging muffin top that spilled out of them. I wanted to laugh, but I was too hurt. I couldn’t believe that I was standing face to face with Terry’s woman, and that was what she looked like. I couldn’t phantom how he would choose someone who looked like shit-on-a-stick over me.

After she was outside, it was then that Terry turned his attention from me to her. I didn’t matter anymore. He turned his back to me like I wasn’t even standing there, when just minutes prior I was, ‘Baby this’ and ‘Baby that’. Terry’s pleas were now directed to her. He begged her to go back inside the house, but just like me, she didn’t budge. Instead, she stood there with a pitiful ass look on her face. I knew at any moment she would burst out crying, and it wouldn’t be just a normal cry either. It would be one of those ugly, loud ass cries that get on my nerves. The type of cry that is only acceptable if someone dies because if not, you’re doing too damn much! When I saw her on the verge of tears, I let her ass have it. 

It was then that I spilled the beans. I told every goddamn thing I could think of. I wanted her to know about all the nasty and freaky things that her man had done with me. I didn’t hold anything back because she had to know that she wasn’t anything special. As I continued to air Terry’s dirty laundry, I silently hoped that Shanair would tell him that it was over between the two of them. In my mind, she would put him out, and then he would turn around and leave with me. We would be a family then. None of that happened, though. Instead, Terry called me a liar, all while she just stood there with her hurt ugly face. Terry made me look like a fool in front of that bitch. I remember standing there in the rain watching him attempt to console
her
while
I
was there getting soaked from head to toe.

The straw that broke the camel’s back was when Terry put his hands on me. Granted, I had hit him first, but that wasn’t the point. Not only am I a female, but he deserved to be hit for all the bullshit that he’s put me through, all the lies he told and the fake promises he fed me. So yeah, I clocked his ass. When he punched me back—in the face at that—I couldn’t believe it. As I fell from the blow, I swear I saw a smirk on Shanair’s face. It was like she found satisfaction in him hitting me. I’m not sure how they got down, but I don’t play those types of games. Ain’t no way I’m gone let a muthafucka hit on me, and not do nothing about it. It was then that I lost it. Not only was Terry treating me like a piece of shit, but he had the audacity to not only strike me, but to do it in front of that black ass bitch. If I hadn’t felt low before he hit me, I damn sure did afterward.

Immediately Terry tried to apologize and say that he didn’t mean it, but it was too late. The damage had already been done, and I had made up my mind that he was going to pay for playing with me. As he continued to express just how sorry he was, I looked up and saw that the satisfied smirk that was once on Shanair’s face was now replaced with sorrow. The bitch looked extremely hurt by her so-called man’s actions as he catered to me. Even though Terry’s remorse made me feel a little better, that didn’t stop me from quickly calling the police. I wasn’t trying to hear anything else Terry had to say after that because he had done too much. He wasn’t going to have make-up sex with that bitch that night. No, he was going to be locked away in cell block nine. As they drove him away in the back of the patrol car, I was the one who had the smirk on my face because it was me who had the last laugh.

Well, it felt that way at first. Once my father got wind of what had gone down, he ordered me to come to him and mother’s house right away. As soon as my foot stepped in the door that night he flipped out. He and my mother scolded me as if I were a teenager. My actions were not acceptable to them, and they made sure they let me know me. When I told them I was having Terry’s baby, they lost it. You would have thought that I was sixteen and pregnant, and not a grown ass woman. While they went on and on about how I was embarrassing them, I just sat there because there was nothing else I could do. They were right, I had embarrassed them. After busting their behinds to give me and my sister a better life, I wound up getting pregnant right out of college by—in my father’s words—a low life thug with numerous baby mothers. To them, I was too good for Terry. They just didn’t understand that to me,  he was the love of my life.

My mother cried as she told me that my life was over. She believed that everything I’d worked for would go down the drain. It didn’t matter how much I told them that my goals could still be achieved even after having a baby, they still insisted on me getting an abortion. Now I love my parents to death, but that was not something that I was prepared to do. I love Terry, and I was going to have his baby whether my mother and father liked it or not. So after crying and stating my case they finally accepted that I was keeping my baby, and there was nothing they could do about it.

With me being adamant about dealing with Terry, my father got the charges dropped against him. He said that I had already humiliated myself and the family enough, and having a domestic violence charge against my baby’s father would only make things look worse. With my dad being a judge and an important member of the community, he didn’t want what had happened to change the way people viewed him and the rest of our family. Soon after Terry was released—and even though it was my father’s doing—I made him believe that it was me who dropped the charges. I wanted it to be sort of an insurance policy to ensure that he would act right because the fear of jail would loom over his head. That tactic worked for a few weeks, but for the last few days Terry has been missing in action. If he knows like I do, he better get in line before things get ugly.

Speaking of ugly, I know that Shanair is mainly the reason Terry hasn’t been answering my calls. She’s made it clear that she doesn’t like me, and truthfully the feeling is mutual. The last time I called him to ask if he could bring me something to eat, she got all loud in the background. She claimed I was calling just to get him to come over to my house because it was so late. Granted it was after midnight, but I actually was hungry and figured that he could grab me some Taco Bell or something. I mean, that is what baby fathers do. They make sure that your pregnancy cravings are satisfied. Other than hearing her call me a few bitches and hoes randomly during her rant, I couldn’t make out anything else she was saying. Whatever it was, Terry told me that if it wasn’t about the baby not to call him before he hung up in my ear.

Since then I can barely get him to answer his phone anymore, so I guess he’s sticking to her orders. I guess her pregnancy is more important than mine. It’s crazy because she
just happened
to find out that she was pregnant after I did. I think the hoe been knew. She was waiting to tell him, and looking for a way to one-up me. I swear I don’t like that bitch, and it’s not just because she’s his woman. Nah, I don’t like her because for some reason, she believes that she’s superior to me because she has Terry. I’m not sure why because the same man that she’s proud to call her own has not only cheated and has another baby on the way with me but has up until recently been fucking me every time he came to visit.

Do I think it’s wrong to continue to sleep with a man who is with someone else? No, I don’t because Terry is not just hers. He’s mine as well. I’m also carrying his child just like she is and it just so happens that I’m much younger, prettier, and have a better body whereas she’s old, ugly and out of shape. So why wouldn’t he want to keep dealing with me? Not only that, but I’m also educated. I have a college degree, have plans for the future and come from a very good home which is more than I can say about her ghetto ass. Yeah, I know all about Shanair and her background.

When I first found out about her, I didn’t know anything other than her phone number and her name was Nair. I did a little digging with that information and was able to find out her government name. From there I had my sister to check her out. Since she is a lawyer, she knows quite a few people who can get any kind of information that one may need. Through her, I was able to find out all of Shanair’s business. I knew where she worked, where she lived, as well as a little background about her family. Shanair’s father has been missing from her life over the last few years, and her mother who is crazier than a muthafucka, had been shipped away to a nursing home. This lets me know that besides her son and Terry the bitch doesn’t have any family. Speaking of her son, I’m not sure who his daddy is, but from what Terry has told me the guy hasn’t done a damn thing for the boy since before he was born. That lets me know that the bitch can’t keep a man. There was also some information from the police department about a few fights that she’s been in which more than likely stemmed from Terry and his cheating ways. That let me know that the bitch is a dummy. All of this makes me wonder what Terry sees in her in the first place.

Maybe it’s pity.

Whatever it is, he needs to get the fuck over it and move on. I’m tired of hearing Shanair throw out her favorite line when it comes to me. I’m the “side chick” who messed around and got pregnant. That couldn’t be further from the truth, though. I admit I did end up being the woman on the side, but me and Terry’s relationship didn’t start out that way. He courted me and told me everything that I wanted to hear in the beginning. He was with me a lot, so I wonder just how much time he had left to give to her. It wasn’t until I went through his phone and read the back and forth text messages between the two of them that got me hip to the fact that he had a woman at home. Should I have left him alone, yes, but by then I had feelings for him and figured that I’d stick it out. I thought Terry would see the error of his ways, and be with me and only me.

I know it sounds crazy, but I love the hell out of Terry. To you he may be a no good dog, but to me he’s my child’s father, and honestly speaking I believe that he may as well be my soul mate. So I guess you can understand why it is that I want so badly for this to work out. You see I grew up in a two-parent household. My mother and father have been together for well over thirty years, and I want my baby to be able to say the same about me and his dad. That is something that I will not bend on; especially since I’ve had it in my head for as long as I can remember.