When Hari Met His Saali (24 page)

Xavier had just had a massive heart attack and was unconscious.

Barry and some of his doctor friends rushed to him.

An ambulance was called and he was rushed to the Malibu St. John’s Hospital.

A minute later

It was obvious, that the event was a disaster, for everyone. Mary was screaming at Hari, who kept looking at Simi as if he was a Romeo and she, his Juliet.

‘Yeh kya kar diya, puttar! Teri math mari gayi
?’ Mary cursed, asking him if he had lost his mind. ‘What have you done?

Chitthi and Phil were shaking him to try to wake him up.

While sensing that there could be a family feud most guests excused themselves and left. DJ Shameless and Joe, who by now was pretty drunk, were slumped in their chairs. They just shrugged their shoulders and had another drink. Minto was still kneeling down next to the splattered cake like a mourner at the graveside of a departed loved one. The serving staff were trying to comfort him.
Badi Mama
and
Nana
looked at each other as if to say ‘I could have told you this was going to happen,’ as they gulped down the remainder of the wine on the table.

Tia was crying as she sat down on her throne and stared at Simi. She was numb; her world had shattered.

Simi was too stunned and shocked to realize what to do but noticed that Tia was looking at her hurtfully. It was not Simi’s fault — no one could have guessed that would happen — but she was somehow feeling guilty. She started crying as well.

Mary was hurt looking at Tia and was cursing Hari.

‘Why did you have to drink so much today, huh? Answer me, you good for nothing …’

But Chitthi intervened.

‘
Auntyji
, I am going to take him home and put him to bed before the fight escalates.’

Chitthi and Phil took Hari away. In fact they had to drag him as he kept looking at Simi, pining to get close to her. To Tia it looked like a classic scene from a Bollywood film where the villains physically separate two lovers.

Hari didn’t look at Tia even once.

When Hari was out of sight, Simi came to Tia and took hold of her hand.

‘Tia it was just some stupid, silly mistake. He didn’t mean to … he was … is drunk.’

Tia, who was crying silently, let out a big gasp, and started crying loudly. Mary told Jenny to get their cars.

‘We’re going home! I do not want my family’s
jhagda
displayed in public!’ Nobody wanted a family scandal to be played out in public.

As the women helped Tia to the car she exchanged one last look with Minto. They ‘talked’ with their moist eyes, subtle head movements and clenching of fists. She was like a
dulhan
during her
bidaai
; he was like a father bidding her goodbye. But here Tia seemed to be apologizing to him for the disaster that had just happened. It was doubtful that Minto would recover from this blemish on his impeccable record of event hosting.

Once again everyone seemed to have forgotten about Simi. She dragged herself out, trying to be invisible, and got into one of the waiting cars.

Late that night — Tia’s Apartment

Simi was dropped off at Tia’s place by an acquaintance of Mary’s. Tia, she guessed, was staying with Mary. All alone and feeling vulnerable, Simi’s first thought was to get on the next flight and go back to her mother. It could take her years to forget the way Tia looked at her, as if it was all Simi’s fault.

Her phone vibrated.

She knew her mother was calling to ask about Tia’s ceremony because she had seen several missed calls from her
Mausaji’s
number already. She didn’t know what to tell her so she didn’t answer.

She had not eaten dinner; no one had eaten dinner at the ceremony.

She tried to sleep but she couldn’t. Like a movie scene in a loop, Hari kissing her — more than him putting a ring on her finger — kept playing in her head. She would spend the night fighting off the thought.

At Mary’s, Tia was still numb. Jenny had helped her get out of her dress and put her in her sweatpants. It was very awkward with no one knowing what to say to her. Mary just asked Jenny and Cindy to be with her.

‘What happened?’ Tia asked no one in particular.

Cindy didn’t seem to understand the gravity of the situation.

‘When Hari came down from the dais, he was supposed to put the ring on your finger, but …’

Thankfully Mary had intervened.

‘
Koyi na.
It is all a stupid mistake. That magician hypnotized Hari. Something went wrong. This is just a silly misunderstanding Tia, by morning Hari will be fine, everything will be fine.’

Chitthi and Phil came down from Hari’s room.

‘How is he? Mary asked. ‘Is he out of the magic spell?’

Chitthi shook his head.

‘He is in his room cleaning out his closets.’

‘Closets? Cleaning?’ Mary didn’t want to know any more.

Even Stephan and Clara stopped by to enquire about Tia. Clara, who was a vegan and ate wheatgrass type food, was a firm believer in destiny. But she was here to show her support for Tia. She assured Tia that she could take as much time off work as she needed. Stephan nodded in agreement.

‘No, I’ll be back to work,’ Tia answered without thinking.

After they had left,
Badi Mama
and
Nana
, who were quietly sitting till now decided enough was enough, announced that they were hungry. Without asking anyone they took out their staple —
sarso da saag and makke ki roti
— from the freezer, reheated it and served it up for everyone. Everyone ate accept Tia.

‘I am going to Hari’s room,’ she announced.

‘
Beta
, wait till the morning,’ Mary said, trying to discourage her. ‘Let’s not get into fights. We don’t know what has happened to him.’

At around midnight Phil, Cindy and Chitthi decided it was time to leave.

‘I have to be at the office in the morning, Mary,’ Chitthi explained. ‘Hari shouldn’t be at work for a couple of days.’

Mary thanked him and they left.

Jenny stayed back with Tia.

By one in the morning Barry had returned home from the hospital. Tia was the first to rush to him.

‘Did he tell you the release word?’

‘What?’ Barry was tired, physically and emotionally. It would be a lie not to mention the burden of explaining Hari’s behavior to his three hundred odd guests was weighing on him. But so was Xavier’s health. He was a doctor as well as a father.

‘We performed emergency heart bypass surgery and it was successful, but he is still unconscious,’ Barry explained to Tia.

‘Unconscious? For how long?’ Tia asked with concern.

Barry sat her down and tried his best to be calm.

‘Listen,
bete
, he is very old and his heart is weak. He is very weak. Although he is under my personal care and we are doing whatever we can, we usually don’t know how long it’ll take for a patient to recover. But I promise you that everything will be all right.’

‘How? He hypnotized Hari and now Hari is engaged to … to … Si … my sister and is in love with her,’ Tia blurted out.

‘That’s silly, Tia, and you know it! He is a two-bit magician with a few rabbit hat tricks. By morning, Hari will be back to his old self. We’ll sort out everything.’

Barry was convinced, but he was also upset.

‘Whose idea was it, by the way, to invite that unstable old coot do such things in the name of entertainment?’

‘It was my idea. I had to fill up twenty minutes before the cake cutting …’ and as she said it Tia realized how trivial it all sounded now — her scheduling, her timetables, her strict instructions … everything.

‘What have I done?’ Tia went numb again.

‘Oh no, it was not your fault, Tia. You’re taking this way too seriously. Tell me, have you ever heard of anyone, I mean anyone in the world, ever, to have been hypnotized for all their lives? Have you? No, right?’ Jenny asked emphatically.

Tia shook her head. There was hope in that head shake.

‘Don’t stress it. It will wear off by morning and Hari will be fine,’ Jenny said squeezing Tia’s hands, assuring her.

Just then Hari walked down the stairs with a pile of his clothes and dumped them in the corner. Everyone was looking at him. He seemed to be the only happy person in this scenario.

‘Mummy, I am changing my entire wardrobe. Can you donate this to the Red Cross?’ he asked innocently. Mary just nodded.

He then laid down a small pink teddy bear on the table. It had just been washed.

‘I am keeping this to dry here. I just washed it in the machine and I want to gift it to someone!’ he said, sounding like a lover talking to himself.

And then he went back upstairs.

‘That’s my teddy bear. I gave him that. He had shoved it in the back of the closet because he didn’t want anyone to know he had a pink teddy bear. He told me that!’ Tia’s tears were starting again.

Barry tried to distract Tia.

‘Let’s all have some coffee,’ and he signaled Mary.

He slipped a sedative into Tia’s cup and soon she was fast asleep. Jenny took her to the guest bedroom, which was next to Hari’s, and put her to bed.

‘OK,
Auntyji
, I think I should go now,’ Jenny finally said to Mary. Mary was grateful to Jenny for being a good friend to Tia and she hugged her tightly.

‘Thank you. God bless, Jenny.’

‘Don’t worry, Aunty. Everything will be OK.’

‘
Voh chhoti waali ka haal kisi ne pucha bhi hai
?’
Badi Mama
asked, enquiring if anyone had even bothered to check up on Tia’s younger sister.

Mary and Barry looked at each other.

When Tia woke up the next morning she felt groggy, but then the memory of the previous night came flooding back. She went to Hari’s room. He was not there. She went downstairs and she couldn’t see Hari there either. Instinctively she knew something was wrong. It was six-thirty a.m. and Hari never woke up this early.

She took her car keys and rushed out.

When she reached her house, Simi opened the door.

‘
Didi
, how are you feeling now?’ she asked, but Tia’s eyes were staring at the dining table. Laid on it was an elaborate breakfast with pancakes, maple syrup, a bowl of fresh fruit, cereals, toast, boiled eggs, all arranged as if it were a restaurant!

She heard a juicer go off in the kitchen and when she went in she saw Hari wearing a kitchen apron and making fresh orange juice.

‘Hi, Tia, you want to join us?’ he looked so refreshed and jovial. ‘Simi and I were just going to start our breakfast.’

Tia looked at Simi, who whispered to her.

‘He came over an hour ago with flowers and since then has been making breakfast.’

‘Breakfast? Hari made all this breakfast for you? He never made me breakfast or anything, ever!’ Tia looked astonished. Then she noticed the flowers.

‘He bought flowers for you? He never ever brought me flowers, ever.’ Tia was hurt.

‘But I didn’t eat a single bite, Tia’ Simi said defensively.

‘How did he know you like pancakes then?’ Tia asked her suspiciously.

‘Tia, you, me and Hari have had so many breakfasts together. Something he must have noticed!’ Simi said, again defensively.

‘Hari noticed? You don’t know Hari, he is not known to notice things,’ Tia fired back and then went to the kitchen.

She dragged Hari back to the living room and sat him down. She sat next to him. Simi sat on the couch on the opposite side.

‘Hari, do you remember anything from last night?’ Tia forced the question on him.

‘Yes, I got engaged to the love of my life, Simi,’ he said, getting up and sitting down beside Simi.

‘I am sorry, honey. I should’ve said
we
got engaged. Where’s your ring?’ Hari noticed Simi was not wearing her ring.

‘Uh … I took it off,’ Simi said truthfully.

‘You didn’t like it? Of course you didn’t, who wears such a big diamond any more, it’s not polite. It was my mistake, I will get you a new one today.’ Hari felt genuinely bad.

‘I selected the ring,’ Tia mentioned, feeling like she was the insignificant one in the room. Oh how quickly the equation had changed.

‘No Hari, I liked the ring … I mean the ring is good,’ Simi tried to explain, fearing Hari might actually go and buy another one.

‘Nothing doing. I should have known, honey. You are much more classy, much more subtle and much more put together than some women. You are not flashy at all,’ Hari said so remorsefully that it was difficult to tell if he was just acting.

‘Hari, are you making a snide remark about me?’ Tia asked wistfully.

‘I wish I knew you well enough to do that.’ He threw out the line casually as he brought Simi to the breakfast table and poured the orange juice for her. Simi kept looking at Tia.

‘How can this happen to me?’ Tia said, still in a daze. ‘If I tell people that this is what happened and that’s why my life is fucked, they’ll laugh. No one will believe it.’

By this time, Simi had escaped from Hari’s side and had gone back to Tia.

‘We have to do something, Tia,’ Simi pleaded. ‘We have to take him to Xavier and get the release word!’

Tia sprang to her feet.

‘C’mon, c’mon, let’s go!’ Tia was suddenly active again.

One hour later — St. John’s Hospital

Barry was surprised to see the Hari, Tia and Simi trio at the hospital. He had been there at the hospital since five in the morning.

‘How is he?’ Tia asked eagerly.

‘His vitals are stable, but he is still unconscious,’ Barry explained, turning to his son.

‘How are you feeling, Hari?’

‘I am feeling great, Dad, why do you ask?’ Hari said jovially. Barry had never seen his son quite like this. He noticed that Hari was standing next to Simi and not Tia.

‘I want to talk to him,’ Tia begged Barry without sounding like she was, but Barry noticed the desperation in her voice.

‘Is he … is Hari still under …?’ Barry asked Tia. Tia nodded in defeat.

Barry brought them to Xavier’s room where he was hooked up to all kinds of medical equipment. Tubes were coming out of and going into his mouth and nostrils as well as fluids being administered to him via an IV drip. While Hari was lost as to why they were there, Simi couldn’t bear to see an old man in that condition. She winced, but Tia was all business.

‘Can he hear us?’ Tia asked Barry.

‘Medical science suggests that an unconscious person might be able to hear, and in some cases even understand others, but it has never been proven,’ Barry said, talking to her as a doctor normally would. He saw Tia’s disappointment.

‘But it’s worth a try, Tia.’

Barry left them alone. Tia took Xavier’s hand in hers.

‘Mr. Xavier, this is Tia Galhotra,’ she said softly. ‘I … I … hired you to perform at my engagement ceremony last night. There was a mistake. I … I know you did not do it on purpose, I mean why would you? But I need you to release my fiancé, Hari, from the spell you put him under. He … I … I cannot … I am … please, please wake up just to release him from your magic.’ Tia started to cry.

She composed herself again.

‘Please Sir, you do not understand that if he is not well again, my life will be shattered. I won’t even know what to do. I have known only one man in my whole life and somehow I lost him last night. Please, mister, please …’ Tia put her head down on Xavier’s hands, and cried.

Xavier did not respond. There was no telling if he had even heard Tia, let alone understood her.

Simi was touched by Tia’s heartfelt request, but she noticed that Hari was just staring at her, making her very uncomfortable.

‘Everything will be OK, Tia,’ Simi said, hugging Tia.

‘Everyone keeps saying that, but no, everything won’t be OK. Just look at him, he is so much in love with you,’ Tia said curtly to Simi as they walked out.

‘What nonsense, Tia. He doesn’t even know me! And and how could he
… he was in love with you till yesterday!’ Simi was trying to catch up with Tia.

Hari was following Simi like a puppy.

‘Was … was in love. That’s the operative word — was. I can’t believe this.’

Tia got into her car, shut the door and drove away leaving Simi and Hari in the parking lot.

Hari came up behind Simi.

‘Let her go. We don’t need her.’

Simi had had enough of Hari.

‘This is not a game, Hari. Stop bothering me. Leave me alone!’ And she meant what she said, but Hari … Hari had turned a new leaf right?

‘When you’re angry, you look so cute.’

Hari had a grin on his face as he followed Simi who was speeding up to get back into the safety of the hospital building. With his shoulders drooped and his arms loose and flaying around, Hari had a mischievous sparkle in his eyes.
How so Shah Rukh
, but Simi didn’t see the charm in it. At least, not yet!

Few days later — Tia’s apartment

After moping around like a zombie, Tia had been convinced by Barry that Xavier’s condition would improve.

‘He will be conscious any moment now. His vitals were improving,’ he said, and Tia was getting back to her old self.

She had learned to ignore Hari’s interactions with Simi, which were strictly one way, telling herself that the situation was more funny than dire. She had decided to head back to work.

As soon as she had reached her office it was obvious that the staff had heard about what had happened, but no one said anything to her, maybe on Stephan’s instructions. In fact, Stephan had come into her office and had given her a pep talk.

‘If you need more time Tia, please feel free to take it. The New York work is on schedule, so there’s no rush. But, if you ask me personally, I want to see the Tia I know so well, the one who conquered the most conservative group of people at Jewish Heritage and the one who conquered so many things prior to that to be able to do so. I want to see the Tia that could fix anything, could always win against huge odds. The Tia I know didn’t let small setbacks screw up her entire life. And I am talking to you with reference to your work.’

He got up with a smile and left. His talk had really touched Tia; she needed to hear something like that. Stephan had chosen his words carefully and although he
didn’t
talk about her personal life, he
did
talk about it.

By four p.m. she realized that she had not even had time to think about Hari all day long. She had decided that, really, her work was such a big part of why she was in this country and Hari was not the sole reason. She must focus on her work. This helped her to relax.

At the end of the day — Tia’s firm

In the middle of a meeting with a delegation from the Santa Monica council, who wanted to explore some renovation options for the Santa Monica Pier and Boulevard, Tia got a frantic phone call from Simi. Tia would not usually answer her phone when she was in a meeting, but the way things were developing these days, she thought she better had.

‘What? I am in a meeting.’

‘Emergency
hai
, that’s why I called,’ Simi was crying.

‘Now what has happened?’ Tia cupped her mobile as she spoke into it.

‘Tia, Tia, they have arrested Hari! They’re going to take him to jail,’ Simi was crying as she blurted it out.

‘What? Why?’ Tia said loudly as she excused herself from the meeting.

Stephan looked at the delegation awkwardly and smiled.

‘Please excuse her, she’s having a personal emergency.’

An older weathered black lady from the delegation noticed the hennaon Tia’s hands and jokingly asked, ‘I hope her husband didn’t run away with another woman, like mine did.’

Stephan realized she was not joking and managed a head movement that said neither yes, nor no, or perhaps indicated both.

Tia drove home frantically only to find that there were several police squad cars outside her building. When she entered her apartment she saw Hari in handcuffs seated in a corner with two officers standing guard.

Simi rushed to her as she came in.

‘Tia, Tia, I didn’t do anything, I swear!’

‘What’s the matter, Officer?’ Tia asked with authority.

‘You know this gentleman?’ a woman officer asked in an assertive but polite voice, coming very close to Tia.

‘Yes, he is my fiancé’ Tia blurted out.

‘Well, Ma’am, he is obviously inebriated because he climbed up from outside the building to the fourth floor window of this lady’s bedroom,’ the officer pointed out to Simi.

Simi was scared of the police.

‘I am her sister.’

‘Yes, you’ve been mentioning that non-stop,’ the officer said to Simi and then turned to Tia.

‘He hung outside her window and was singing …’ the officer flipped open her notebook and read from it.

‘“Shining in the setting sun like a pearl upon the ocean … Come and feel me …”
and then something in some other language …’

‘It’s a Hindi song from a film,’ Simi said nervously, still trying to be of help.

‘Simi, be quiet and let the officer speak,’ Tia butted in.

The officer nodded in appreciation.

‘Thank you, Ma’am. Your neighbors complained of a disturbance as well as of a trespasser. Now, do you wish to press charges on him for trespassing and harassment?’

Tia walked up to Hari, who had a silly grin on his face and was obviously drunk.

‘What do you think, Hari? You’ve never climbed up a building for me, or hung out from a fourth floor window singing my favorite song for me, you never liked that song in fact, and for sure, you never did anything remotely as romantic as willing to go to jail for me! But you do it all for who? For my sister! That’s just great!’

‘Tia, please, we will sort it out between us,’ Simi said, feeling embarrassed. And the two officers, who had probably seen and heard it all before, maintained a stoic appearance.

Tia turned to the female officer.

‘You think I should press charges?’

‘Ma’am, as officers of the Malibu Police Department, as a policy we do not advise on whether one should file or not,’ the officer said straight-faced.

‘I am asking you as a woman.’ Tia wanted someone to breathe some conflict into the situation, which was so much in her favor at that moment that she wanted to cherish it for a while.

‘Again, Ma’am, we are neither men nor women once we put on these uniforms,’ the officer again said as plainly as possible.

Tia decided not to file charges and paid the fine.

As the officers were removing the handcuffs from Hari, Tia joked with them.

‘Maybe you should leave them on!’

The police officer, a trained professional, finally played along with her.

‘Ma’am, you can buy your own easily online. In fact, I have some for my personal use in the bedroom.’

‘Maybe I will,’ Tia said as she proceeded to close the door.

‘Maybe you, your fiancé and your sister can use them together,’ the other office added.

Tia didn’t find the last part amusing.

‘Thank you, Officers.’

The jokes and smiles stopped as soon as the officers left and the door was shut. Tia went on to lecture both Hari and Simi on their behavior. Simi wanted to say that it was Tia who had asked her not to let Hari in, in her absence, which is exactly what she had done. But by refusing to open the door to him the next thing she saw was Hari climbing up to her window, singing and drunk, drunk singing, loudly. But she had kept quiet. Simi felt guilty.

Tia was scolding them both.

Meanwhile Hari was watching Tia’s lips move but couldn’t hear any words; he was tuned out and was smiling and grinning at Simi.

In the span of few days Hari had changed his wardrobe completely and was wearing current, fashionable, well-fitting clothes and shoes. Like a Shammi Kapoor or a Shah Rukh Khan romcom character, Hari had also acquired and would wear colorful sweaters draped over his shoulders and a scarf around his neck, even though it was seventy degrees Fahrenheit in Los Angeles. He was the epitome of Bollywood’s idea of a romantic hero.