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Authors: Harsh Warrdhan

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‘Our magic? What did you do?’ he teased her.

‘I distracted you, you fool.’ She had flipped her hair at him before strutting away.

Hari had since run the trick scenario over in his head to figure out just how she distracted him but he never managed to figure it out. Some things are better left to the imagination.

Hari also kept that money. He never counted it or had it checked to see if it were real or fake, not because it was beside the point, and also because he wanted to believe in magic.

That night after dinner Hari and Simi went for a walk. For quite some time they just walked, without speaking.

‘Finally, I found you,’ he said, breaking the silence.

‘You shouldn’t have, Hari. But now that you are here, stay for a day or two and then go back!’ Simi replied.

‘But why?’

‘Because you don’t belong here. There’s no reason for you to be here!’

‘Yes there is, and a big one. I have come here to thank Mr. Xavier.’

‘Yeah right, you never even visited him in the hospital when he was in America and now you want to thank him? For what?’

‘For doing whatever he did to me. It is because of him that I am in love with you, Simi.’

By then they had reached an open field, like a cricket ground. The moon was bright and full, the stars were clearly visible and sparkling on them. It was so quiet they could hear each other’s heartbeat.

‘Oh stop it, Hari. It is never going to work. You and me — our relationship’s foundation itself was a mistake, an accident. How can we sustain it for all of our lives?’

‘Because when you cut out all the verbosity and all the talk, what remains are the feelings between two people, and I know for a fact that we have those feelings for each other.’

‘You don’t know anything about my feelings.’

‘Yes, I do. I can see into your soul, Simi, and you are the only woman I
could ever understand in that way. It never happened with Tia. You are so pure and uncorrupt. I just want to spend my life in your soul.’

‘Shh … don’t say things like that. I have trouble keeping out beautiful things you say to me, they keep running in my head.’

‘I am saying very ordinary and clichéd things, Simi. I have most likely read or heard them someplace. But you know what makes them beautiful for you?’

She shook her head.

‘Because you hear them, you take them within you and they mix with your own feelings about me. Then they feel beautiful.’

She couldn’t keep looking at him; he was staring into her eyes. She looked away.

‘And you know how I know that? Because the same thing happens to me. I remember each and everything about you no matter how minor. If this is not love, Simi, what is?’

‘Shhh … don’t say a word. Just sit.’ She had grabbed his hands and sat him down.

There they sat under the beautiful naked sky, under the moonlight at a place that was almost on the edge of the world for Hari, and there they sat every night since. Sometimes not speaking at all, just sitting there, or lying on the blanket Hari had started bringing along.

They would spend time with Xavier. Mostly just sitting and holding his hands, letting him know they were there. It was part of their shift at the X-Ashram.

The Xaviers were a popular and respected people in the Pondicherry community due to their social work, and the city’s wealthy citizens had high regards for them. Xavier was being treated like he was in a five-star hospital. His expenses were being borne by an anonymous entrepreneur. There was a rumor that it was a South Indian superstar known for his charitable work, but regardless of who it was, no effort was spared in providing him with the proper care.

Still, there was no improvement in his condition.

As the days went by

Their time in the ashram seemed like a honeymoon to Hari and Simi, albeit a platonic one. Nonetheless it felt real and very special to both of them. Hari had made these hammocks from jute ropes with the help of the old brigade and hung them across two old banyan trees in the far corner of the ashram.

Hari and Simi would have a non-conversational, post-lunch siesta there. It was the most peaceful time in the world for Hari, with the most beautiful woman in the world, if not next to, but at least close by him. The day would be idyllic and active, chaotic and serene, hard but uncomplicated.

These were the best of times.

But as the fun and light banter of the first few days wore off, Hari started becoming antsy. He wanted to get a commitment from Simi. So that night, with the permission of Mr. Ayyangar, he took Simi out of the ashram to do some sightseeing in Pondicherry. They visited a couple of temples, where Simi prayed with her eyes closed while he watched her.

‘You should also pray and ask God for something. They say whatever you wish for here, it comes true,’ she told him with a straight face.

Hari didn’t believe in all this and let her know it.

‘I have seen a scene like this in a stupid Bollywood movie. It’s all fake.’

‘It’s not fake. It happens to be true in real life and hence it is shown in the stupid Bollywood movie,’ she snapped back at him.

‘How can you not believe in God? He does miraculous things,’ she had argued.

‘You mean magical things? Like Xavier does? Are you telling me you believe in
that?
’ Hari had asked teasingly.

She was pissed and was walking ahead of him to let him know. He caught up with her.

‘You know, you give me a hard-on when you are angry!’

‘A hard what?’ Simi didn’t know what a hard-on meant, but she sensed it was not appropriate.

‘Are you talking dirty to me? In a
mandir
?’ She was now really angry and shook her body as if to shake off the bad words Hari had thrown her way.

Thankfully, he let go of that particular line of flirting, consoling himself that she was too innocent to understand it and had left the topic alone.

Pondicherry is well known for its remarkable French influence — believed to be seen nowhere else in the Indian subcontinent. Simi wanted to try something French, but Hari suggested they try some seafood. So they had a dinner at a lovely restaurant called The Seagull. It had a sky deck with an amazing view of the Indian Ocean. This looked remarkably like Geoffrey’s to Hari, but the fish gravy they ordered was very spicy. After a hesitant nod from Simi, Hari ordered a beer, an Indian beer called Kingfisher, to go along with it.

‘Please don’t get drunk, Hari. I can’t take you to the ashram if you are drunk,’ she said timidly, careful not to spoil the mood.

‘That’ll be good no, we will book a five-star hotel room and spend the night together.’ Hari was just teasing, but it lit a fuse.

‘Hari, I have talked to Barry and Mary. They are worried about you and I told them that you are leaving from here on a flight tomorrow night!’ Simi told him as she fought off her own displeasure at the idea.

‘Simi! You had no right to do that. Why do you want to drive me away? What have I done to deserve this kind of treatment?’ Hari slowed down on his beer.

She was hardly touching her food.

‘Just go away, Hari, don’t you realize that each day you stay longer, you are making my resolve weaker?’ She asked firmly, but under the table she was trying to tear pieces off the cloth napkin.

‘And what is your resolve, Simi?’

‘I want to get the release word from Xavier and then you’ll be out of his spell and … and …’

‘And what if even after he removes the spell, I still love you like I do now?’

‘Love, love, love. What will you do with love after causing so much pain to other people? One cannot live a whole life based on love, Hari. You are being childish. Life is a long journey; these lovey-dovey feelings disappear after few years, then what? Then the reality hits hard and it’s only compromise after that. A car needs all four wheels to be the same size. And you and me are anything but similar. And … and … I am not a career woman like … Tia. I don’t even know what I want to do in life, what will you do with me in yours? Have you thought of these things?’

It occurred to him that her stance had shifted subtly. She was at least talking about their future now. It was not an outright rejection, now she was weighing the options, exploring.

‘I never wanted a career woman …’

‘It’s not just that, I don’t know what I want in life!’

‘And that’s OK too. Look at me, I am all over the place.’ He gulped beer and mockingly acted like a drunk.

That made her laugh.

Oh God, she really did not want him to go … away from her.

They walked to the extremely famous promenade beach, which was dotted with several landmarks and memorials. They saw the War Memorial, the Statue of Mahatma Gandhi, a Statue of Joan of Arc and also the old lighthouse. They sat down on the sea front. He put his arm around her. She let him. Before she knew, she had rested her head on his shoulder.

‘Don’t get ideas, Hari, I am just using you because there’s a cramp in my neck!’ she said just as he was about to caress her hair.

‘Doesn’t it feel good to have someone to do that, to put your head on their shoulders?’ Hari so badly wanted to lift her chin and kiss her.

‘Yes, but I much rather do it with the man who loves me for me and not because some magic was making him do it.’ She thought she was teasing him, but he took it seriously.

‘What will it take to make you believe that I truly love you?’ he said after lifting her head and looking into her eyes.

‘Nothing. Not a thing and I mean that. Get that into your head!’ This time she was not teasing. She wanted him to know that she was serious.

They looked into each other’s eyes for a moment and didn’t speak. But then, before she knew it, he had grabbed a handful of her hair and kissed her on her lips. She fought back only after a few moments had passed, and pushed him back harshly.
Slap!
She laid one hard across his face.

‘How dare you? This is not your America, this is India,’ she said, running away from him.

Hari was stunned, humiliated and hurt. People around them must have heard the slap as they were looking over at them.

When he reached her cottage, Simi wouldn’t open her door in spite of his knocking. He didn’t know that she was not inside.

He cursed himself, but he felt cheated as well.

That night

Hari went to Xavier’s cottage and the male nurse on duty greeted him.

‘I just need to spend a few minutes with him,’ Hari told the nurse.

‘I think it would be best if you came back in the morning,
Saar,
’ the nurse politely declined.

‘Please. I am going out of the country tomorrow.’ Hari had made a decision about going back to Los Angeles.

The nurse nodded and stepped out of the cottage. The room was like a private suite in a hospital, full of equipment and monitors.

Hari sat down and took Xavier’s hands. He was already in tears and was wondering how to start.

‘I know you can hear me, Sir, and I want to tell you that there is no reason for you to feel guilty about what has happened. Since it has happened to me, I am telling you that I am not angry or complaining. You only did what Tia
asked you to do and if you had an attack at the wrong time, it was not you that was to blame it was God. It is his fault.’

He wiped his nose, as he was now really crying. This was Hari’s cleansing and he needed someone to just hear him out.

‘And please don’t worry about a thing and get well soon so that together we can take these two sisters to the task. I am so tired of handling the two of them.’

He put his head down on Xavier’s hand, really crying now.

‘One loved me but wanted to change me. When I changed and became what she wanted, the other had issues with it. What kind of a man should I be? Who decides? I seem to have no say in it. Either way, everyone thinks my feelings are not genuine. I know they are genuine, but maybe they’re not enough. I am a man who no one wants. This is all so complicated. Anyways, I wanted to say goodbye to you as I have decided to leave tomorrow. But, if you ever come to Los Angeles, please come to our home and visit us.’

After baring his soul he kissed Xavier’s hands.

‘And thank you for everything.’

And then he left.

What he didn’t see was that Simi had also come to talk to Xavier as she did every night before going to sleep and had heard everything Hari said to him.

The other thing that neither of them saw was Xavier’s hand which twitched while Hari was talking.

If only Hari was not so melodramatic — laying both hands on top of Xavier’s, clasping them, and then laying his heavy head on top of it — maybe then he would have noticed. Maybe then things would have been different.

11
Tia Pisses on Everybody’s Parade

The next day the news of Hari’s departure had spread across the ashram. After all, it was not that vast and everybody knew Hari and had become his friend. Since he had to catch his flight from Chennai he decided to saygoodbye to everyone after lunch. But Simi was not there. Hari knew where she might be.

Sure enough, he found her lying on the hammock under the banyan tree. It was only when he got closer that he realized she had been crying, possibly all night.

‘You don’t look attractive at all with those puffy eyes!’ he said.

‘Shut up!’

‘I will, because I won’t be here.’

‘I know. Everybody knows.’

‘So, this is goodbye.’

‘I am sorry you have to go because of me,’ Simi said nervously.

‘I came here also because of you.’

‘We can be friends.’

‘Who are you kidding, Simi?’

‘You know, Mr. Ayyangar told me that if you go tomorrow your ticket will be cheaper.’

‘No, it won’t.’

‘Don’t you want to save some money?’

‘Let’s be serious, Simi. I want to go home and figure things out.’

For a moment they didn’t speak, both searching for words, delaying the eventual goodbye.

The high noon sun was harsh but the banyan tree was throwing intermittent shadows on them.

‘Then we can go together.’

When Hari heard this a ray of hope flashed in front of him. But it was not Simi who had said it …

… it was Tia.

Hari and Simi were stunned to see her. A very Tia-like rage — a category of anger in itself — came over Hari.

‘Oh great! Here you are! What now? You just can’t leave a man alone, can you?’ Hari started towards her.

‘Hi, Hari. Hi, Simi,’ Tia said casually, dismissing Hari’s words.

Simi, never expecting Tia to be there, panicked and in her hurry to get out of the hammock, fell down from it.

‘Ah … hi,
Didi
’, Simi said from the ground.

‘You stay away from me and leave me alone.’ Hari was livid, and this was the first time he had been really angry with anyone since his transformation.

‘Yes, Sir, Mr. Romantic!’ Tia nodded, saluting him like he was a dictator.

‘What?’

‘Oh, Shah Rukh, thy name is romance,’ Tia bowed to him playfully.

‘Cut the crap.’ Hari was fuming now.


Tch
, I meant to say, oh Hari, thy name is romance.’ Tia had practiced saying this after she had decided that she would try to be more open and witty when she entered the ashram.

‘Whatever. I’m going home,’ Hari said brushing aside her compliment.

‘No, you are not. Not yet. We three need to have a talk!’ Tia asserted.

‘You know what; I don’t want to talk to you, big sister Tia, nor you, little sister Simi. I don’t want to talk to you two, I don’t want to see you two, I don’t want anything to do with the two of you,’ Hari said, pointing his fingers at the two sisters. He was very angry. Then he just walked away.

‘What did you do to him?’ Tia asked Simi.

Simi was already nervous with Tia showing up there unannounced and she got scared.

‘I didn’t do anything with him … to him. In fact it was me who told him to go away to you … to be with you.’ Simi somehow managed to finish her sentence.

Tia’s relaxed her stance and hugged Simi.

‘How are you?’

‘I am OK,
Didi
’, Simi said, still wondering just how pissed Tia was. She couldn’t tell.

‘I have brought your suitcases here,’ Tia announced as she held Simi’s hand.

And then she turned around and started walking.

‘Come.’

Shit, shit, how happy I was by myself. Now there will be more drama?

‘You brought all my luggage? Here? Ah,
Didi
, I have not taken
sanyaas.
I
don’t plan to stay at the ashram forever!’ Simi fumbled with her words as she tried to catch up with Tia.

‘You never know!’ Tia said as if she had made a decision.

Simi was terrorized by Tia’s arrival. She mumbled something in response but even she was not sure what she was saying.

Meanwhile

Hari was simmering in his cottage. He had expected either Tia or Simi to come and cajole him into … something, but neither had come. His plan was to leave the ashram by eight that evening to reach Chennai airport in time for his flight to L.A. at two-thirty a.m. But right now it was teatime and he was feeling hungry. He was not sure whether he should just saunter outside and eat some biscuits, especially after the tough-man walkout on Tia and Simi.

Thankfully there was a knock on the door. He excitedly opened the door expecting Simi to come in and beg him not to go, but of course, it was Tia. She barged in.

‘You think we can have a honeymoon in a cottage like this?’ Tia asked casually, looking around the cottage.

‘Tia, I am seriously sick and tired of your antics now. I just want to go home.’ Hari flopped down on his bed.


Tch
… just a little setback and you are ready to quit? The Hari I knew was not a quitter!’ She said it as she too flopped down on the bed next to him.

‘No, he was not, Tia, but then you had him changed … custom made for you and now he is lost. Now he doesn’t know whether he’s coming or going. You must be happy.’

Ouch, that hurt!

‘One thing I want from you, Hari, if it’s the last thing you do for me, is just have a talk with Simi and me. Just once and we will close this!’

They were not looking at each other as they talked.

‘You’ve managed to damage all three of us, Tia, now there’s nothing to say.’

Hari had this
loserness
in his voice.

‘Oh, don’t be a sissy, Hariprasad. Get your ass up and follow me.’

She pulled his hand, got him onto his feet and then led him out.

In the hall

Tia had already asked Simi to go to the hall, where she was doing her own

Devdasi
thing, sitting all by herself on a chair, gazing into nothingness.


Oye
, Simi!’ Tia called out.

Simi stood to attention as if a
khadus
teacher had entered a class in a bad mood. A laptop had already been set up in the middle of the room, facing the chalkboard. There was just one more chair there, next to Simi’s.

‘Sit down,’ Tia ordered Simi and Hari.

They knew better than to argue at this stage, so they sat down.

‘OK now, you two listen, I am going to ask you once, both of you, and you’ll answer me honestly!’ Tia said as she took command of the pitch she had in her head.

Simi nodded immediately, but Hari was being a slacker.


Capice
, Hari?’ Tia asked with a firmer voice.

‘Yeah, whatever,’ Hari replied, trying to look more pissed than defeated.

‘Good enough for me. Vishu? Hit the lights!’ Tia commanded.

Simi and Hari turned to see little Vishu standing by the light switch. There was no way he was going to be able to reach the buttons, as they were too high for him. But Vishu didn’t need to, he clapped twice and the lights went off.

‘Motherf … how does he do it?’ Hari scratched his head as the room plunged into darkness.

A moment later the chalkboard was illuminated with what looked like a slide. Tia was projecting it via her laptop. The first slide showed three stick figures with names on their heads: Tia, Hari and Simi.

‘Now what we have here is a triangle … excuse me, an emotional triangle for the three of us,’ she started earnestly, switching on a laser pointer and pointing to the slide.

‘Seriously? You made a presentation?’ Hari asked astonished.

‘Yes. This is the way I solve problems and we are here today to untangle this triangle,’ she responded to Hari.

‘But please don’t interrupt me. I’ll take questions after this short brief,’ she instructed them, forcing a smile.

‘There is no need,
Didi
, I withdraw from the race,’ Simi said nervously.

‘You can’t just withdraw! This is not an election-voting thing! Anyways, so, it started with Tia and Hari falling in love with each other, six years ago. They were in love, madly, badly and passionately in love. Hook, line and sinker. They fit like a glove, were attracted like a moth to a flame. They were the yin-yang, the Romeo and Juliet … the …’ Tia started getting carried away.

‘Yes, we all know that … move on!’ Hari shouted, as he must have in his school days, from the backbench.

‘So we have indisputably established that Hari and Tia were in love. They then had gotten married, and although secretly, it was for a valid reason. If they didn’t, Tia would have to go away from Hari because she didn’t have the immigration status to stay legally in the country where Hari was, which was the United States of America …’ Tia had just flipped to the next slide when she saw Hari had raised his hand.

‘Yes, Hari? It’s not Q&A time, but I’ll allow one,’ Tia said, folding her arms.

But before Hari could ask his question, Simi started speaking.

‘I know what you are trying to do here, but this is not some work issue we are talking about. This is not about some contract that has to be won. And it is definitely not humorous. This is a serious situation. You coming here and mocking the whole thing doesn’t make it right.’

‘But you’re not in love with him, so it’s not really a valid match,’ Tia answered with all the sincerity of a senior explaining an obvious point to a junior without breaking their heart.

‘You don’t know that!’ Simi said. Ideally, all this argument should have come from Hari but he was leaning back as he looked at Simi admiringly.

It was going to take the two of them to stand up to Tia.

‘All right. Vishu, lights!’ Tia dragged a chair and sat down opposite Simi and Hari.

Vishu clapped his hands and the room was illuminated again.

‘Simi, you think you are in love with him, but deep down in your heart, you know you are not. You just want what I want.’

‘What a bad thing to say,
Didi.
Being so dismissive about my feelings and putting yours as if they were Godsent.’

‘But they were and I am sorry this happened to you, but really, he doesn’t know he loves you. He was made to think that he loves you by Xavier.’

‘Waah, tum karo to pyar, hum kare toh
it is only because of
chamatkar?’
Hari said, mixing a famous Hindi film dialogue accusing Tia of calling what she feels love, but if someone else feels the same, calling it a magic trick. ‘Even I don’t know where that came from or what it means,’ Hari admitted shuddering as a stunned Simi and Tia stared at him.

‘Point is, Tia. I may not be certain whether I want to spend my life with Hari or not, but I am certain about my feelings,’ Simi said cautiously.

Hari looked at Simi lovingly.

‘Which are?’ Tia asked, as if she was amused.

‘You did not witness it, but I have managed to grow into a woman, Tia. You may also believe that one can’t grow into a complete woman in India,
but I did. I don’t care for your life in America and your American ways. I have my ways.’

Simi paused to think and Tia jumped in.

‘Watching TV shows like
The Practice
doesn’t mean that you have become American, Simi. Or that you have a worldview! That show is ten years old, no one remembers Bobby Donnell any more.’ Tia crackled, wanting to establish a clear edge over Simi.

‘It doesn’t matter, it matters that they are showing it now in India, and I like it. And I like Bobby Donnell. And just because you saw it first doesn’t make it so that you understand it more than I do. I have a … magical connection with it!’ Simi explained.

Hari saw a definite body language shift in Simi.

‘If you watch the show, you know that Bobby Donnell was not a particularly romantic guy! In fact, by season seven he breaks up with Lindsey Dole and they even get divorced!’ Tia said, eagerly trying to put down Simi.

‘Oh thanks a lot! Now you’ve ruined the show for me! They’re still showing season six here!’ Simi threw her hands up in the air.

‘Anything else you want to ruin for me? Like this Hari thing? You have come all this way to ruin it for me right?’ Simi asked with her hands on her hips.

Tia and Simi fought back and forth, frothing up and then simmering down, but basically going nowhere.

‘OK, OK, I think Hari should decide,’ Simi blurted out.

‘Hari? What does he know about life? He knows shitloads of trivia, but not life,’ Tia shot back.

‘First of all, I stopped pursuing trivia right after the engagement night,’ Hari admitted. ‘I realized that life is not about knowing more about random things in the world, but it is about knowing your own feelings and trying to understand them. That night, for the first time in my life, I came to know my feelings,’ Hari said with sincerity.

Both sisters looked at Hari.

‘It saddens me to see both of you fighting like cats. A. I am not worth it; B. I do not like to see any of us like this — being uncivilized. We are better than this, and C. I love you both, but differently.’

‘That’s not going to cut it, Hari. It’s too late for diplomacy,’ Tia said firmly.

‘Well fine then, you know my feelings,’ Hari said equally firmly.

‘But they are not truly yours,’ Tia shot back.

‘How do you know?’ Hari asked her again.

Now Simi was watching them go back and forth. She had had enough and she got up from her chair.

‘You know, this will never end. I think the best option is for the three of us to go our separate ways.’

‘But I should be the one to go away, right?’ said Tia. ‘I mean if the two of you say you love each other, then who am I to say or do anything?’ Tia also got up, now with tears in her eyes.

Tia took out some documents and handed them to Hari.

‘I signed the papers. We are divorced. For now,’ she said sadly.

‘No,
Didi.
He is yours and will always be …’ but before Simi could finish her sentence, Vishu came running in …

‘Xavier Uncle is alive! I mean he is awake!’

Xavier’s cottage

Xavier had indeed regained consciousness. He was able to speak and the first person he had asked to see was Hari. The room was full of people but he had asked everyone other than Hari, Simi and Tia to clear out.

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