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Authors: David Feldman

Tags: #Reference, #Curiosities & Wonders

When Do Fish Sleep? (28 page)

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Engineers at the New York City Sewer Design Department could find no technical reason for round manhole covers. They assumed, like most of the fall-through theory dissenters, that the round shape is the result of custom and standardization rather than necessity.

So, Helen, we have wreaked our revenge. Perhaps your answer is correct. But then, maybe it is wrong. Maybe the real reason manholes are round is so that they can facilitate the use of the Vulcan Classic Cover Collection.

 

Submitted by Helen Schwager of New York, New York. Thanks also to Tracie Ramsey of Portsmouth, Virginia; and Charles Kluepfel of Bloomfield, New Jersey
.

 

10 New Frustables

 

 

 

 

In
Why Do Clocks Run Clockwise?
, we broke down and admitted we were haunted and rendered sleepless by our inability to answer some Imponderables that were sent to us. Often we found fascinating explanations, tantalizing theories, or partial proof. But burdened by the strict ethical codes that the custody of the body Imponderability places upon us, we can’t rest until we positively nail the answers to these suckers.

So we asked our readers for help with the ten most Frustrating Imponderables (or Frustables, for short). The fruits of your labors are contained in the following pages. But before you get totally smug about your accomplishments, may we lay ten more on you?

These are ten Imponderables for which we don’t yet have a conclusive answer. Can you help? A reward of a free, autographed copy of the next volume of
Imponderables
, as well as an acknowledgment in the book, will be given to the first reader who can lead to the proof that solves any of these Frustables.

 

FRUSTABLE 1:
Why is Legal Paper 8½″ × 14″?

 

We have located the first company to manufacture a legal-sized pad. We’ve also contacted the largest manufacturers of paper and stationery and many legal sources. But no one seems to know the reasons for lengthening regular paper and dubbing it “legal size.” And yes, we know that many courts have abandoned legal-sized paper and now use 8½″ ×11″.

 

FRUSTABLE 2:
Why Do Americans, Unlike Europeans, Switch Forks to the Right Hand After Cutting Meat?

 

Did someone give the Pilgrims radical etiquette lessons on the
Mayflower?
Is there any sense to the American method?

 

FRUSTABLE 3:
How, When, and Why Did the Banana Peel Become the Universal Slipping Agent in Vaudeville and Movies?

 

Vegetable oil would work better, no?

 

FRUSTABLE 4:
Why did the Grade E Disappear from Grading Scales in Most Schools?

 

An F makes sense as the lowest mark (F="failure);" but why did the E get lost?

 

FRUSTABLE 5:
How Did They Lock Saloon Doors in the Old West?

 

Were saloons in the old West open 24 hours? If they weren’t, a couple of swinging doors three feet off the ground wouldn’t provide a heckuva lot of security. Were there barriers that covered the entrance, or are swinging saloon doors a figment of movemakers’ imaginations?

 

FRUSTABLE 6:
Why Do So Many People Save National Geographics and Then Never Look at Them Again?

 

A visit to just about any garage sale will confirm that most people save
National Geographics
. An unscientific poll confirms that nobody ever looks at the issues they’ve saved. What gives?

 

FRUSTABLE 7:
Why Do People, Especially Kids, Tend to Stick Their Tongues Out When Concentrating?

 

Theories abound, but no one we contacted had any confidence about their conjectures.

 

FRUSTABLE 8:
Why Do Kids Tend to Like Meat Well Done (and Then Prefer It Rarer and Rarer as They Get Older)?

 

Are kids repelled by the sight of blood in rare meat? Do they dislike the texture? The purer taste of meat? What accounts for the change as they get older?

 

FRUSTABLE 9:
Why Does Whistling at an American Sporting Event Mean “Yay!” When Whistling Means “Boo!” in Most Other Countries?

 

 

FRUSTABLE 10:
Why Are So Many Restaurants, Especially Diners and Coffee Shops, Obsessed with Mating Ketchup Bottles at the End of the Day?

 

We have been in sleazy diners where we couldn’t hail a waitress if our lives depended on it and were lucky if our table was cleaned off. Where was the waitress? She was grabbing all the ketchup bottles and stacking them so that the remains of one bottle flowed into a second bottle.

Who cares whether the ketchup bottle on the table is one third filled or completely full? Doesn’t the ketchup flow more easily out of a less than full bottle? Do restaurateurs mate ketchup bottles to please patrons, or do they have other, perhaps nefarious, reasons?

Frustables Update

 

 

 

Captured!!! The Ten Frustables from
Why Do Clocks Run Clockwise?

 

 

 

 

FRUSTABLE 1:
Why Do You So Often See One Shoe Lying on the Side of the Road?

 

They say that every parent has a favorite. In this case, we’ll admit it. This isn’t only our favorite Frustable, it’s probably our favorite Imponderable ever, partly because it has been a difficult “child.” We spoke to endless officials at the Department of Transportation and the Federal Highway Safety Traffic Administration. All of them were aware of the phenomenon; none had a compelling explanation.

In
Why Do Clocks Run Clockwise?
we talked about some of the theories proffered by readers of Elaine Viets, columnist for the
St. Louis Post-Dispatch:

 

  • They are tossed out of cars during fights among kids.
  • They fall out of garbage trucks.
  • Both shoes are abandoned at the same time, but one rolls away.
  • They are disentangled, discarded newlywed shoes.
  • They are thrown out of school buses and cars as practical jokes.

 

We asked if our readers could come up with anything better.

We needn’t have worried. You guys came through in spades. Your answers fell into three general categories: theoretical, empirical, and confessional. So profound were your insights into this important subject that we have given thirteen of them official
Imponderables
Awards of Merit.

 

Award-Winning Theoretical Explanations

 

Best Supply-Side Argument by a Noneconomist
. Provided by Stefan Habsburg of Farmington Hills, Michigan: “Because if there were a pair, someone would pick them up!”

 

 

Best Conspiracy Theory
. Provided by Morry Markovitz of Croton Falls, New York:

 

If a lost pair of shoes were found intact, the shoe industry might lose a sale as these old shoes were pressed into service by a new owner. Has the shoe industry secretly hired “road agents” to scour the country-side, picking up one of each pair they find?

 

Best Explanation Involving Eastern European Influence Upon the One-Shoe Problem
. Provided by Rick La Komp of Livermore, California: “Barefoot field-goal kickers decided they didn’t need more than one shoe and threw the other away.”

 

 

Best Explanation by an Obnoxious Anthropomorphic Cartoon Animal
. Provided by David Selzler of Loveland, Colorado. David sent us a “Garfield” cartoon in which the cat muses, “Why do you find only one shoe in the trash? One shoe on a sidewalk? One shoe in the street?” He wonders about why people don’t throw things away in pairs. So Garfield sees one shoe in a trash can and knocks on the door of the adjacent house. Guess who answers? A pirate with a peg leg.

 

 

Most Logical Theory
. Provided by Russ Tremayne of Auburn, Washington, and Maria N. Benninghoven of Kensington, Maryland. Both of these readers assume that most shoes found on the side of the road are thrown out of moving cars. They also assume that most people toss both shoes out one at a time. Russ assumes it would be most natural to throw out the shoes with one dominant hand:

 

Most people’s hands aren’t large enough to comfortably grasp a pair of shoes, even if the laces are tied. Therefore, one shoe gets thrown at a time as the vehicle continues to travel. Perhaps one shoe, thrown weakly, lands on the edge of the highway, while the other, thrown with more force, lands off the road to lie invisibly among tall grass or brush.

 

 

Empirical Theories

 

Best Exploitation for Personal Profit of the One-Shoe Phenomenon
. Provided by R.E. Holtslander of Lake Wales, Florida.

 

About 20 years ago when I lived in Missouri and was coming home from California on a windy day, I noticed a large cardboard box on the highway in New Mexico. Papers were flying from it. Shortly after that, I saw an almost new broom, so I pulled off the road and picked it up.
Soon other things appeared by the road. I saw a shoe for the right foot. As I had a sore toe at the time and thought the shoe was big enough to give my foot comfort, I picked it up, too.
I saw a man in a pickup truck at the side of the road. He too had stopped to retrieve something. From then on it was like a treasure hunt. I picked up several things and then he would pass us and then we would pass him. Soon we passed into Texas, and there I found the mate to the shoe I had picked up in New Mexico!
I kept the shoes for several years and showed my guests a pair of shoes, one of which I got in New Mexico and the other in Texas…

 

Best Explanation for the Unsalutary Effect of Poor Nutrition and Sleeping Habits Upon the Retention of Shoes
. Provided by Dave Sodovy of Hamilton, New York: Dave recounts the story that a few summers ago he had a job with two other kids who were the sons of the boss. Father and sons lived an hour’s drive away from work, necessitating leaving their house at 7:15 because the boss wanted to get coffee and doughnuts to fortify him for the road. The sons retaliated for having to get up at this barbaric hour by sleeping through the trip.

 

From this evolved a routine in which the time between waking up and later falling asleep in the car was spent in “semi-sleep.”
One morning, the two boys and their dad arrived as usual, but the younger son was wearing only one shoe! A few questions revealed the reason. In his state of semi-sleep, with one shoe on, one shoe in one hand, and a bag lunch in the other hand, he set the shoe on the roof of the car to open the car door.
Since his main concern was to go to sleep in dad’s car, he didn’t retrieve his shoe—he just closed the door and got comfortable. Dad and his other son had been in the car waiting; the three took off as soon as my one-shoed friend closed the door. The shoe was still on the roof of the car, and apparently survived the 25-and 35-mph speed limits of the neighborhood in which they lived. Once on the highway, the shoe was doomed. Indeed, once the three arrived at work, they called Mom, who sought out the missing shoe, locating it on the side of the highway.
BOOK: When Do Fish Sleep?
12.63Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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