What Remains_Reckoning (16 page)

Used then shoved aside?

Fuck.

She hadn’t realized her few months at Beau’s camp had imprinted so strongly on her. She’d never questioned her “worth” before the bastard had decided beating her was the best form of foreplay he could think of. That the constant, mindless drivel about a woman’s place, about complete submission, would come back to haunt her. She knew better. She just didn’t know how to make the voice—Beau’s voice—shut up.

The floor creaked just outside the door, followed by the soft pad of feet into the room. She snagged her bottom lip, mentally telling any remaining doubts to fuck off as she opened her eyes and looked up. All three men stood inside the room, staring at her as if they’d never seen her before. And maybe they hadn’t. At least not this side of her. She just hoped she didn’t disappoint them. That the waiting would match their expectations.

Wolfe tsked, nudging Gunner as he leaned against the wall, looking far too comfortable standing there, even though he was moments away from claiming her. “See that expression, gents? Our girl’s thinking far too much. Probably listening to those voices she’s mentioned.”

Gunner sighed. “About time she learned that the only voices that matter are ours.” He moved forward, kneeling before her. “And we think you’re smart, sexy and so damn beautiful it’s got to be a sin.” He clasped one of her hands in his. “Whatever they told you at that fucking camp was a lie. You know that, right? Beau, Bobby…those bastards were psychotic.”

She grinned at him. “I know. It’s just hard to block out the memories.”

“Then let’s make new ones.”

He leaned forward, gently taking her mouth in his. The kiss was tender, loving, an easy glide of his lips over hers. His tongue caressed the seam of her mouth, and she opened for him, humming as his flavor filled her. Warm, spicy, with a hint of coffee, it soothed the rawness that had plagued her for months, replacing it with burning need. Made her want to climb inside him and never leave.

Gunner eased back, giving her lip a light nip before kissing her again, this one at direct odds to the other. He didn’t linger this time, allowing her to experience each sensation slowly. He conquered. Dared her to deny the heat between them, when all she could do was wrap her arms around him and hold on, praying she didn’t fall.

His hands rose to palm her back, dragging her ass closer to the edge as he wedged himself between her thighs, pressing his body tight to hers. Strong, firm muscles flexed against her skin, the brush of his cotton shirt driving her mad. Why the hell wasn’t he naked? Even the thin fabric felt too restricting. She wanted to savor the caress of his flesh over hers, explore every inch of his body until she’d memorized every dip and plane.

Sounds echoed in the room, the familiar rustle of clothes landing on the floor making her heart race. Damn. Though she’d known full well what inviting them into her bed would result in, the reality of the act made her fantasies seem dim, almost two dimensional. Anticipation warred with nagging memories, and she tensed when the bed dipped on either side.

Gunner pulled back, staying close enough the other men were mere shadows in her peripheral vision. He cupped her chin with one hand, the other lightly brushing her skin the length of her arm. “Scared?”

She laughed, far too quickly to deny the question. “Nervous. I haven’t… Let’s just say it’s been a while. And I don’t remember most of the encounters at the camp.”

Wolfe growled beside her, and Gunner retreated enough she could turn to look at the other man. His eyes had darkened, and there was no mistaking the anger creasing his brow.

He reached out and combed his fingers through her hair. “You don’t remember? God, Morgan, please tell me that bastard didn’t drug you, too.”

Shame hunched her shoulders, but Wolfe held tight, keeping her from turning away.

She firmed her jaw. She was bigger than this. Better. And no matter what had happened, in the end, she’d won. “I wasn’t like the other women in there. I didn’t submit to their beliefs.”

Wolfe’s eyes closed and the anger turned to pain. “You fought him.”

“You would expect any less of me?”

“No. But that doesn’t make me have to like the idea.” He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Do you want to tell us what happened?”

She shook her head. Dealing with the memories was one thing. Telling the boys—fuck. All she could think about was how disgusted they’d be. How they’d never look at her the same way. Up until now, they’d only had assumptions, and she didn’t want to take away that last shred of hope they’d probably carried with them.

Wolfe sighed, scooping her off the bed and placing her on his lap. He’d stripped down to his briefs, and his heat seeped into her. She nestled against his chest, sighing out a long breath as he wrapped his arms around her, cocooning her in a wall of male flesh. This was where she needed to be. Where the dreams and demons disappeared as if locked in another place, another time. They made her forget what the world had become, reducing her existence to the four of them. No zombies, no threat. Just skin and heat and love.

The thought hit her hard, and she swallowed to choke back a sob. God, had she really fallen that far for the men before giving all of herself to them? It seemed so old-fashioned. A relic from an age long lost. But the simple word fit nicely on her tongue, and she smiled up at Wolfe when he kissed the top of her head.

“I’m sorry.”

His hushed words made her heart ache. They sounded so sincere but so utterly torn, as if he’d taken her pain and claimed it as his own.

She traced her fingertips along his jaw, the light stubble scratching her skin. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t do anything.”

“We shouldn’t have waited to go inside. And we should have busted into that damn barn the first night. If we’d gotten there sooner…”

“Oh, baby. A few days wouldn’t have changed anything. Hell a few weeks wouldn’t have been enough. But it doesn’t matter. It’s over. You three got me out.”

“More like you got us out.”

“I wouldn’t have gotten far with my hands bound and my body barely functioning.”

He growled again. “I’ll fucking stick that baton up Bobby’s ass if I ever see the bastard again.” He exhaled loudly. “So does this mean you don’t want to talk about it? Before we…”

She shrugged, suddenly feeling exposed. “Is it going to change anything, either way?”

“What?”

He frowned and the bed dipped again as Ham shifted in beside him while Gunner shuffled over, stopping even with Wolfe’s knees. None of them looked pleased.

Ham rested his hand on her thigh. “What could possibly change by you telling us what happened?”

“Oh, I don’t know, other than you three deciding I’m damaged goods.”

The words slipped free before she could take them back. Morgan bowed her head. God, she never knew when to keep her mouth shut. When to just leave things alone. She could have rattled off a few half-truths and be screaming out her first release by now. Instead, she curled in on herself, mentally preparing for the verbal backlash.

Ham breathed out a long, slow breath, shouldering in until his body pressed against Wolfe’s as the man cradled her in his lap. Hamilton didn’t speak, just leaned in his head, resting his forehead against her temple. Tears threatened then spilled, splashing onto their skin. Fuck, she hated this. Feeling weak. Broken. She’d promised herself she’d kick this weepy shit in the ass—bring the old Morgan back. The one who fought with her hands bound. The one who wasn’t fazed by zombies or anything. The one they’d probably been attracted to.

“Baby. Nothing you say is going to change how we feel about you. Nothing. And if it’s too soon, if it’s not something you think you can share, whether you want to or not, that’s okay. We just don’t want to say something or do something that’s going to bring back any bad memories. It’d kill us to hurt you that way.” He placed a finger under her chin and gently turned her head to face him. “You’re not weak. Fuck, you’re the strongest woman we’ve ever met. What Beau did…” He shook his head, clenching his jaw. “You saw what it did to the others. Yet you fought. Every time if my hunch is correct. You’re still fighting. You just don’t see it. All you see is the pain. We just thought by telling us, you might be able to let it go. But the choice is yours, and I can guarantee you, we’ll love you either way.”

She gulped in some air, trying to breathe past the lump in throat. “But what if…” Her voice trailed off as his words reran in her head. Her eyes widened as she moved her focus between the three men before coming back to Hamilton. “What did you say?”

That boyish grin took her breath away. “That the choice is yours?”

“No. After that.”

He chuckled, leaning in to drop a kiss on her nose. “I said we’ll love you either way.”

“Love…” She looked at each man again, the truth of Ham’s statement shining in their eyes. She snagged her lip again, not sure how to reply. “But we haven’t even…” She waved at the bed.

Gunner groaned. “Do you really think we need to make love to you in order to know whether we love you or not? Honey. We could scour the Earth, literally, and never find someone who made us feel like heroes the way you do. Who challenges us to be the men we should be, and not just for you. For ourselves. You were part of the team from the start. Not sure I can explain it any better than that.”

Wolfe nudged her. “You said being SEALs defined who we were. Makes sense that the woman we fall in love with would be part of our team, doesn’t it?”

She opened her mouth then closed it. Overwhelmed.

Ham smiled. “Don’t say anything right now. We know this is a lot to take in. But you need to know that we’re in this for the long run. And as much as we want to lay you back on the bed and watch you come over and over, if you need more time, it’s okay. If just holding you naked in our arms is the limit before those demons start talking, then that’s all we’ll do.” He leaned in again and his demeanor changed. “But mark my words. You’re ours and sooner or later, we’ll show you the full extent of that claim.”

Heat suffused her body, pooling moisture along her slit as her nipples peaked from his words. No man had ever talked to her like that, and she realized the idea of belonging to them made her hot and wet. The murmur of voices in her head faded away, and she knew now was the time. Fuck Beau and his insane chatter. She was stronger. Had beaten him at every turn and now she got to reap the rewards—times three.

Morgan smiled at Ham, brushing her fingers through his hair. “No more waiting. No more excuses. Just us. Together. Making love. The rest of the day if possible.”

“Sounds like our kind of mission.” His eyes clouded for a moment. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk…”

That’s when it hit her. Telling them wasn’t just about freeing her demons, it was about freeing theirs. Giving them closure as much as her.

She sighed, leaning against Wolfe. “Not really much to tell. Beau’s ritual is always the same. He picks his next conquest, has her dragged to his room then proceeds to belittle her as much as possible until there’s no fight left. Most of the girls just lay down and spread their legs. It’s easier. Less painful if he thinks you want it.”

“Christ, Morgan.” Wolfe scraped his hand along his scalp. “How often does he rape the women?”

“Until he tires of them. Once he’s had the first go ‘round, he gives them to the other men. By that time, most of women are basically catatonic. They don’t seem to care much.”

“But not you. You fought. You didn’t make it easy for him. God, sweetheart, he could have killed you.”

She huffed. “Cold fucking day in hell I submit to any man I don’t want to. Giving over control when there’s trust, love, is one thing. Having it taken…” She shook her head. “Not going to happen. Besides, even Beau had a line he didn’t cross.”

Gunner snagged one of her hands. “What do you mean?”

“He liked his women conscious. Something too easy about fucking a girl you’d beaten senseless. The first time he tried, I kicked his ass. Two of his men eventually pulled me off him. Broke his damn nose.”

“Fucking A.” Pride sounded in Wolfe’s voice then faded. “But you paid for it, didn’t you?”

“It was worth it to teach the bastard as lesson. I woke up four days later. He’d cracked a couple of ribs, given me a decent concussion. But from what I heard, he’d been too pissed to rape me.”

Ham cursed, bowing his head. “Hell of a choice to make. Did he at least leave you alone for a while?”

“About a week. I wasn’t as strong the next time. Ribs hurt like a bitch. But I got in a few kicks to his groin before he struck me hard enough to knock me out. Only lasted a couple of days that time.”

Gunner punched his fist against the bed, pulling out of the circle as he pushed to his feet, pacing to the other side of the room. “I’ll kill him. Simple. I’m going back to that fucking camp and I’m going to strangle the life out of him.”

Morgan sighed, giving Wolfe and Ham a desperate look before slipping off Wolfe’s lap and moving over to Gunner. She stepped in front of him, stopping him from making another round of the room. “Gunner. This isn’t your fault. I made my choice. Either he was going to stop trying to take me that way or I was going to die trying to kill him. But then you three showed up and everything changed.” She cupped his chin as he’d done to her earlier. “You were right. All of you. Saying it out loud… It’s not so scary anymore. I can let it go as long as you promise to be there when it tries to come back. When I start to doubt myself. When the voices can’t be quieted.”

“Not going anywhere, honey. Promise.”

“Then get your ass back to the bed and make love to me. Ham and Wolfe are waiting.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He scooped her up, laughing when she squealed, and marched them over to the bed, placing her on her feet. She held still while the boys unclipped her bra and removed her pants and underwear, skimming their hands over her skin as they eased the clothing free. The cool air beaded her flesh with goose bumps before Wolfe stepped up behind her, his massive body chasing away the chill. He’d removed his briefs, the hot, hard length of his cock pressing against her ass. He shuffled her backwards until her calves touched the bed before gently helping her up and drawing her into the center of the mattress. He leaned against the wooden headboard, positioning her between his spread thighs, increasing the pressure of his shaft against her ass cheeks. Fire swelled inside her core and she wanted to turn on him. Take his cock between her lips and suck him dry.