What Endures (17 page)

"Nothing."  He shook his head slightly. “And for the record, I did not threaten to follow you anywhere.”

“Y-you. . .I just. . .” she sputtered. No matter how much she tried not to, she somehow managed to lose her cool around him. “Why don’t you want me to stay with you?”

He didn’t answer right away, calmly gazing at her for several seconds. “Because I don’t want you to be with me out of some sense of obligation or whatever. If you’re going to stay with me, I want you to do it because you want to. Not because you
have
to.”

The anger dissipated quickly, replaced by understanding. The irony was not lost on her. Hadn’t she been worried about the same thing? She didn’t want Jason to feel obligated to her, yet she never considered that he might feel the same way. “Jason, that’s-“

“If Tyler was still around and I asked you to stay with me, would you?”

She sighed. “No, but-“

“Then the answer’s still no.”

“Jason.”

“I’m not your charity case, Megan,” he said, his voice quiet but firm.

“I never said you were,” she countered. “But you can’t stay out there by yourself.”

“Yes, I can,” he insisted, his expression stubborn.

“Really?” she challenged. “What’s your doctor’s phone number? Where’s the hospital located? Where’s the pharmacy? Better yet, where are the car keys located in case you need to drive yourself somewhere?”

He regarded her with a sour expression. “That’s not fair.”

She smiled slightly. “Is there really a fair way to handle any of this?” His expression darkened. “I’m sorry but there’s no other choice here. Unless you have someone else in mind. I mean if you don’t want me then that’s. . .” Her voice faltered and she silently cursed. “It’s fine if you don’t want me.”

“I never said I didn’t want you,” he cut in softly, his meaning clear. She felt her face, hell her whole body, flush at his words. “I said I didn’t want to be a burden, or your obligation.”

“Jason, you’re not,” she said firmly. And she realized that it was true. Yes, for the most part, she was offering to stay with him because she felt as if she needed to look out for him, to take care of him. But there was a small part, the part of her that she tried desperately to ignore, that was excited about staying with him. That wanted to stay with him simply because it wanted to be with him. “And you know what? You
are
my obligation because we’re friends. And friends look out for each other right?”

He looked at her doubtfully. She was well aware of how incredibly bizarre this was. How was it that she was now trying to convince Jason that she should move in with him? When did everything get turned upside down? “For a little while, or until we figure something else out.”

Long moments passed before he exhaled softly. “O.K.”

“O.K.,” she said smiling, feeling oddly relieved. She picked up her coffee cup and drained it. Jason had turned to look out the window and she couldn’t help but study him and wonder what she had gotten herself into.

She wondered if she would always be feeling this internal discord. She knew, logically, that the last thing she should be feeling was relief.
You’re moving in with Jason
her head told her in a panic. But she didn’t feel panicky, or nervous, or scared. She felt oddly calm. It was the feeling she usually got when she had made a decision that she knew instinctively was right, no matter what doubts may have been running through her mind.

She had felt that way before with Jason. Twice to be exact.

The first time was when he had first proposed marriage, on the baseball field, shortly after their high school graduation. She had been 17 and her head was telling her she was too young, that they were too young. That marriage wasn’t right for them, that it would change everything. But after she had agreed, a calmness had descended over her. Despite the fact that the marriage hadn’t lasted, she never looked back and wondered if she had made the right decision in marrying Jason the first time around. It had felt right then, and it still felt right, even with 20/20 hindsight.

The second time she had felt that internal calm was when she had decided to get back together with him. There had been no grand gestures, no flowery prose. It had been a simple question from him, “you want to get something to eat?” And she hadn’t said anything, but had simply taken his proffered hand. But she remembered it clearly. The second their hands had clasped together, that same calmness had swept over her and she knew, without a doubt, that she had done the right thing.

And here she was now. That same feeling of complete calmness resting inside her. Yet, unlike those last two times, her head was louder and more persistent in listing her doubts, demanding that they be heard. And she knew that her internal discord wouldn’t be resolved so easily this time around.

CHAPTER TWELVE

“Jason, can you get the door please?” she called out from her bathroom as she worked to towel dry her hair. She heard his muffled response and then the sound of the door opening. She hurriedly rubbed handfuls of hair with the towel until her hair was no longer dripping wet. Grabbing her robe, she slipped it on before heading toward the door.

Megan wondered who it could be at this hour. She had packed up her stuff at Marie's, who hadn’t minded a bit that Megan was going to stay with Jason.  In fact, she seemed pleased by that fact.  Jason had helped her with her bags and after a rather awkward moment, she had quickly retreated to the guest bedroom to unpack and shower. She had been hoping to take some time to try and figure out how to make this strange situation work. It had happened so quickly that she hadn’t really processed it all yet. More than once she seriously wondered if she could actually spend all her time in the guest room. That would be silly, of course, but she had considered it the moment she had walked through the door.

‘Surreal’ could not begin to describe what it had felt like to walk into the beach house with Jason just an hour earlier. It was like breakfast earlier that day. She and Jason had come home to the beach house numerous times before so them walking in together was normal, but about as far from normal as you could get. She knew her hasty retreat to the guest bedroom wasn’t lost on Jason, but for his part, he was trying not to make the move any harder for her. He was being a perfect gentleman, not pushing her and letting her dictate the nature of their interaction in the house.

She sighed softly as she descended the steps leading into the front foyer of the house. Their beach house was modest compared to the mammoth mansion in Seattle, but it was still rather sizeable when compared to other houses in the area. Part of it she knew had been Jason trying to eradicate his father’s voice, which seemed to stay with him in some way or the other throughout the years, no matter how much progress Jason made in his own personal growth and maturity. Bruce Kincaid wasn’t someone easily dismissed and she and Jason had both learned that the hard way.

“Jason, who was at the-“ Her words died on her lips as she entered the front foyer and saw Jason standing by the still-open door, staring at his father.
Speak of the devil.

Both men turned at the sound of her voice. Jason was looking at her with eyes that displayed so many emotions at once that she couldn’t pinpoint what he was feeling. Bruce looked at her in surprise, slowly taking in her appearance. She could see him jump to the wrong, but not altogether surprising, conclusion. She reflexively pulled her robe tighter around herself.

“Megan,” Bruce greeted her, his tone polite but his expression held the slightest hint of disdain. “I didn’t think I’d find you here. Certainly not like that.”

She bit the retort that was on the tip of her tongue. The last time she had seen Jason’s father, she had practically kicked him out of the hospital, and told him to go back to Harbor Bay. To say they had parted under awkward circumstances would have been a huge understatement. But then, she and Bruce had never seen eye-to-eye where Jason was concerned.

She had called regularly to update Bruce and Diana on Jason’s progress since then, but truth be told, she spoke to Diana more often, and had asked her to convey the message to Jason’s father. When she had spoken to Bruce, their conversations had been brief and to-the-point. ‘Strained’ was the best word to describe the current state of their relationship.

Bruce turned his attention back to Jason, who had closed the door, but he remained standing by it, as if he were prepared to make a quick getaway. She smiled internally. She had that feeling quite often when dealing with Bruce. “Are you two. . ."  A hopeful look shone from Bruce's eyes. "Do you have your memory back?”

Jason looked confused by his father’s question. “No, I, uh-“

“I’m helping Jason with things,” she cut in smoothly.

Bruce gave her a look as if to say he knew exactly how she was helping before he turned his attention back to Jason. “How long have you been back in Harbor Bay son?”

Jason shifted uncomfortably. “A day or so.”

Bruce looked at her. “You’ve been back longer than that. Haven’t you Megan?”

Harbor Bay was still ‘Bruce’s territory.’ Not much happened here without him knowing. “Yeah, um. . .” She looked at Jason quickly. “I, uh, you know, came out here first to set up a few things, so that when Jason came out, he’d have everything he’d need.”

Jason shot her a brief questioning look at the little white lie, before he nodded in agreement.  "Megan’s great about getting things, uh, set up.”

Bruce looked between the both of them as if considering something. “Well, then I’m sure one of the things you were going to set up was to contact me to let me know that my son was back home?”

“Of course,” she replied, not taking the bait. “We just wanted to get things settled here first.” She put a slight emphasis on the word ‘we’ and felt a small thrill of triumph at the look on Bruce’s face.

Bruce smiled agreeably, but she knew he was anything but. “Of course.” He turned toward Jason. “It’s good that you’re back home, Jase.”

“Yeah,” Jason mumbled.

There was a tense silence as no one said anything for a few seconds.
You would think I’d be used to these kind of silences by now
, she thought wryly as she looked at Jason in concern. He was staring at some spot on the floor and looking like he wanted to be anywhere else but there.

“You know,” Bruce said suddenly drawing her and Jason’s attention to him. “This is actually perfect.”

“It is?” she asked, her internal warning bells going off.

Bruce smiled at her and those bells turned into a damn klaxon. “I was just talking to my parents the other day. We were thinking of flying out to Seattle next week to see Jason.” He gave them both a broad smile.“Now we can just have that dinner here.”

“Dinner?” she repeated, glancing at Jason. He looked like he wanted to have dinner with Bruce as much as she did.

“To celebrate Jason’s birthday next week.” Bruce looked at her reproachfully. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten.”

She hadn’t. She just hadn’t known how to celebrate the occasion. And truth be told, she couldn’t look that far ahead these days. She was trying to deal with everything moment by moment. “Of course I didn’t forget,” she replied, her tone sharper than she intended.

Bruce turned to Jason. “How about it Jase? Celebratory dinner with me and your grandparents? Your Mom will probably be there too.” Bruce gave her a cursory glance. “It's a family dinner but of course you're welcome too, Megan.”

She bit her lip. Bruce had a way of including her that made her feel completely left out. It seemed to be his special talent. He could say something that literally was complimentary but the way he said it made it seem more like an insult.

Jason looked at her uncertainly. “Uh, I, um. . .”

Bruce looked between the both of them. “Oh, come on! We have to celebrate this birthday. With the accident and everything, this birthday is definitely one to celebrate right?”

She tilted her head at Jason, silently communicating to him that whatever he decided was fine with her. He looked at her a beat before turning to his father. “Um, yeah, sure.”

Bruce clapped Jason on the shoulder. “Terrific! Your grandparents have been asking about you every day since the accident. They’ll be thrilled to see you Jase.” Bruce looked at her. “Do you want me to call Diana to let her know that Jason’s back in Harbor Bay?”

He had phrased the question politely and his face held what could only be termed a solicitous expression, but she didn’t miss the silent gibe at her. “No, actually, I think Diana already knows because of Marie.” She smiled sweetly at him and felt a childish sense of satisfaction when her words hit home with him.

Of course that sense of satisfaction was fleeting because she caught the look of discomfort on Jason’s face. Dealing with Jason and their uniquely bizarre situation was hard enough, but now the universe had to mock her even more by throwing his family into the mix. She didn’t know if she was equipped to deal with it all.

“Well, good,” said Bruce nonchalantly. “So I’ll talk to your grandparents and then call you with details of the dinner in a few days, huh?”

“Sure," Jason agreed.

“Now that I know you’re in town, how about having lunch with your old man tomorrow? We can catch up properly.”

If the situation wasn’t so serious and supremely uncomfortable for the both of them, she would have laughed at the look of panic that briefly crossed Jason’s face at his father’s invitation. “Actually, Jason has to go to Virginia tomorrow,” she cut in. “We need to meet with some doctors for a consultation.”

Bruce looked irritated, but just as quickly, he smiled affably. “I understand. Your health comes first. We want you back in playing form soon. We’ll make plans for another day then?”

“Sure,” Jason replied half-heartedly.

Bruce looked at Jason for a beat, before he clapped his hands together loudly. “All right, well, we’ll catch up some other time. But your birthday dinner’s a definite for next week, right?” Jason nodded.

Bruce smiled and moved to embrace Jason. “It’s good to have you home, son.” He patted Jason’s back. “I’ve missed you.”