What Endures (16 page)

“I didn’t say you were,” she replied easily.

“You going to work or something?” he asked, eyeing the papers they had just recovered.

“Not really,” she answered. “Where are you headed?”

“To get some coffee and stop by to see my mom,” he said with a shrug as he turned in that direction. “Where are you going?”

She could lie of course, but that would have been childish. Besides, she was in dire need of a cup of coffee and the coffee shop across from
Delights
had the best coffee around. “Jolt.”

He smiled. “Imagine that.” He gestured in the direction of the coffee house. “How about I walk you over there? Considering you’re having some trouble navigating.”

“You’re sweet,” she said dryly.

“That was ironical, right?” he said with a grin as he fell in step with her.

She hid the smile by turning away, pretending to look at some of the shop windows as they made their way toward
Jolt
. She was well aware of how easy this was. It was too easy, her head warned her. She listened, and yet, there was a part of her that didn’t want to. That was urging her to just go for it.
Take the risk
, it said. It was but a whisper, but she wondered how long it would stay that way because the longer she was around Jason, the less she heard the protective logic of her head, and more of the yearnings of her heart.

They arrived at
Jolt
, not having said anything further. The silence, however, hadn’t been awkward. It had been easy and she found herself smiling at him as he held the door open for her.

They both stood by the door for a few seconds, scanning the place for an empty table. Even at this early an hour, it was almost entirely full. Before they could find one, a familiar voice called out to them.

“Megan!” Marie greeted her with a big smile, waving them over to her table. “And Jason!”

“Hi Marie,” she smiled as Marie embraced her. Marie then turned and hugged Jason as well. She noticed his discomfort but he returned Marie’s hug despite it.

Marie looked at them both and beamed. “It’s so good to have you both back in Harbor Bay.” Marie drained her coffee cup. “Are you here for breakfast or just coffee?” Before they could answer, Marie waved her hand dismissively. “You know what? Just take my table. I have to go open up the shop anyway.” She began to gather her stuff. “Oh and try the ginger and honey scones. To die for.” Before they could say anything, Marie had hugged them again, and then breezed out the door.

Megan looked at Marie’s retreating back a beat before turning back to Jason, who was smiling at her teasingly. “You know, I won’t mind if you want to sit at a different table,” Jason said casually, his eyes dancing.

“I never said I was going to avoid you,” she scoffed in an effort to hide that exact thought.

He grinned and leaned in closer to her, causing all her nerves to suddenly jolt to life. “Glad to hear it.” He indicated their newly bussed table. “Shall we?”

She sat and then noticed Jason was looking out the window at Marie as she opened the door of
Delights
. “What?” she prompted.

“It’s just a little weird how friendly Tyler’s mom is to me.” He looked back at her and shrugged. “My memories of her are you know. . .” He sighed softly and then looked at the counter. “What do you want?”

Jason insisted on placing their order, including some of those scones Marie had recommended. When he carried their order back to the table, they drank their coffee and ate the delectable scones in silence for several minutes, each seemingly lost in their own thoughts. Megan was aware of how odd the situation was simply because it was so normal. She and Jason had had breakfast like this numerous times before, with the same easy silence between them. For anyone looking at them now, it was as if nothing had changed at all.

And yet, everything had changed. So how come she felt so comfortable? Where were the warning bells? Shouldn’t she be more ill at ease? Shouldn’t she be tense and on guard? Her head thought so, but her head couldn’t change how she felt. And she felt relaxed and content. This of course, made the situation even stranger. ‘Content’ should have been the last word she would have used to describe how she felt about Jason and their relationship now.

“So what were those papers you were so wrapped up in?” he asked conversationally.

She shrugged. “Just work stuff.”

He looked at her thoughtfully. “You know, I’ve been meaning to ask, what exactly is it that you work at?” He shrugged. “I mean I know you run my charitable foundation, but what is that exactly?”

She smiled. “You established it about 3 years ago. It’s basically a foundation to award scholarships, grants and things like that. We also do a few fundraisers and charity events a year.”

“And you run it?” She nodded. “So you basically give away my money?”

She chuckled. “I raise money for it too.”

“Do you like it?”

“I love it,” she answered sincerely. He smiled widely, which lit up his features and made her heart do that little skip. She covered up her sudden nervousness by picking up her coffee cup and taking a slow sip.

“Now you know, I need to ask this because it is my foundation,” he said, his voice teasing. “But did you get your position because of your qualifications or because of your relationship to me?”

“What is this?” she matched his teasing tone. “It’s about two years too late for the job interview.”

His expression grew serious, his gaze intent. “Just getting to know you.” They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, the air between them growing charged and heavy before Jason broke the spell with an easy smile. “So are you?” he prompted.

“Am I what?” she asked, having lost track of the conversation. All her brain seemed capable of doing was noticing how green his eyes were in the sunlight, or how the stubble on his chin made him look even more handsome. She clenched her hands in her lap, resisting the very strong urge to reach over and run her fingers along his jaw.

“Qualified to run my foundation?”

“I graduated with honors from the University of Maryland,” she said with exaggerated seriousness. “Then I went to Georgetown and received my MBA. Also with honors.”

“Georgetown,” he murmured. “Hoyas?”

She smiled. Of course Jason would use sports as a reference point. “Right.”

He tilted his head in acknowledgement. “I’m suitably impressed.”

“So is the interview over?” she asked lightly.

He grinned and she caught the mischievous twinkle in his eye which should have warned her that he had something up his sleeve. “Not quite. I do have one other question.”

The warning bells finally sounded in her head. “What question?”

His grin widened, as he leaned forward on the table. “When did you get that tattoo on your hip?”

She stared at him as her mind raced, trying to process what he had just said. She stared at him, and he met her gaze calmly, as if waiting for her to put the pieces together.

“How’d you know. . .“
Was he remembering
, she wondered? Something about his expression, however, told her that this particular bit of knowledge was not the result of a recollection but something sneakier.

“Home movies.”

“Home mov-“ she started and stopped suddenly as the answer came to her. She looked at him with wide, questioning eyes and he nodded slowly in confirmation.

Suddenly, a mental image of the beach house popped into her mind and she realized much too late that the house was brimming with personal things of her. . of him. . .of them. And then she started to panic, doing a mental inventory of the collection of home movies that she and Jason had and how each one had been made. Which one of those had revealed her tattoo to him? For one brief, horrifying instant, she actually wondered if they had ever made one of
those
home movies. A part of her wanted to rush right out to the beach house that instant and start gathering up those DVDs.

Somehow, she managed to stay in her seat and rein in her spinning emotions.

“I guess you didn’t get a chance to clean this house like the one in Seattle huh?” he asked casually.

“Jason-“

He raised a hand to stop her. “Not that I agree, but I get why you did it.” 

She sighed. She was beginning to realize how futile it was to fight him on this. It was hard, nearly impossible, to wipe out a life together. She was starting to wonder why she was bothering to fight this at all.

“That was not fair,” she said accusingly.

To his credit, he did look somewhat contrite. “Sorry. But really, is there a fair way to handle any of this?”

She picked up her coffee cup and took a sip, not knowing how to answer his question. Jason’s revelation that he was uncovering things from the past thanks to various objects around their beach house threw her, and yet, in some ways, she also felt relieved. Again, it struck her as strange that she should feel this way. But she did. She was relieved that she no longer had to hide anything from Jason, that she no longer had to watch every word that she uttered around him. She was really relieved that she no longer had to worry about him finding out about them.

“We looked happy,” he said, his expression wistful.

“We were,” she confirmed quietly.

He looked at her and she could see the frustration in his eyes. She saw then how much he wanted to remember. Instinctively, she wanted to say something in comfort but she didn’t have the words, so she reached across the table and placed her hand on top of his.

The second their hands touched it was like a jolt of electricity burst through her and she withdrew her hand quickly. He noted her action with a raise of his eyebrows but didn’t say anything. This was too confusing. Part of her wished that she could go back to when she felt only numbness because it was much easier to deal with than all these strange, confusing and conflicting emotions that seemed to be running through her all the time, and seemed magnified when she was around Jason.

How could she feel so comfortable with him one minute and then completely ill at ease? How could a feeling of relief be followed so quickly by one of mortification? How could she want to be with him and yet at the same time want to get as far away from him as possible?

Just then the soft peal of her cell phone drew both their attention to her purse. Thankful for the distraction, she offered him an apologetic look before she answered the call. “Hello?”

“Meg?”

“Tyler.” Jason looked at her in interest and she turned away slightly. “What’s up?”

There was a pause before he spoke. “Before I tell you, promise you won’t start yelling at me.”

She closed her eyes briefly, preparing herself mentally. That kind of disclaimer was never a portent for good news. “What?”

“I’m, uh, at the airport right now. I need to fly back to L.A. Work stuff.”

“When can you come back?”

“I don’t know, Meg.” He sighed. “I’m sorry. I thought I could hang out there with Jason for a while but-“

“It’s O.K., Ty,” she cut in. “Really. You do have your own life to take care of.”

“What about Jason? Sean said he’s still arranging some things and even though Jason’s doing much better, I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave him out in the beach house alone.”

She couldn’t help smiling. To this day, no matter how often she had seen it since, witnessing Tyler’s concern for Jason, and vice versa, always made her smile. It wasn’t too long ago that they couldn’t stand each other so to see them acting like real brothers now was a wonderful thing to behold.

“I’ll, uh. . .I’ll figure something out.”

 “You sure?”

She wasn’t sure at all but what other option was there? “Yes. Have a safe flight.”

“I will,” Tyler replied. “I’ll call you when I get into L.A.”

She said goodbye to Tyler before ending the call. She found Jason watching her as he sipped his coffee. “That was Tyler.”

 “Where’s he going?”

“Back to L.A. There was some kind of work emergency.”

He nodded. “So who gets to baby-sit me now?”

She shot him a look. “Nobody said anything about that but if you’re gonna act like a brat then. . .”

He smiled, unperturbed at her admonishment. “No nurse.”

She knew he was going to say that. In this case, her options were severely limited. He had already ruled out both of his parents, and even if he hadn’t, she wouldn’t have considered it anyway. Diana and Jason had a tenuous relationship at the best of times, and she would never inflict Bruce on anyone, least of all Jason. Marie was an option, but given Jason’s unease around her, she didn’t think he would go for it.

She siged. There was only one option. She knew that the moment Tyler had informed her that he had to go back to L.A. She could always try to convince Jason to head back to Seattle but she would still have the same problem. Jason would be alone there too.

The simple fact of the matter was that Jason needed her and above everything, she would be there for him. No matter how scared, or hurt, or confused she might be, if he needed her, everything else became secondary. That’s how it was and how it would always be. And in this case, he did need her. There wasn’t anyone else.

She cleared her throat. “How about I, uh, stay with you at the beach house for a bit?”

“No.”

“O.-. . .w-what?”

He shook his head. “No.”

No? No? Did he just say ‘no’?!
She looked at him in disbelief but he was completely serious. She felt that swirl of emotions rise up in her. She was partly confused, partly angry and mostly offended. Did he not realize what it took for her to even consider moving in with him at the beach house? And why would he not want her to?

“What do you mean ‘no’?” she demanded.

“I don’t want you to stay with me, Megan,” he said quietly.

Anger suddenly became the predominant emotion. “What? Since when? You’ve wanted me to stay with you since you left the hospital in Seattle! And you followed me out here and basically threatened to follow me if I went anywhere else! And what happened to wanting to get to know me, huh? Now all of a sudden you don’t want me to-“ She stopped abruptly at the expression on his face. “What the hell are you smiling about?!”