What Abi Taught Us (25 page)

13
D. Charney, ‘The Resilience Prescription',
www.mountsinai.org/static_files/MSMC/Files/Patient%20Care/Occupational%20Health/ResiliencePrescriptionPromotion082112.pdf
(accessed 5 December 2015).

Chapter 4

1
T. Attig,
How We Grieve: Relearning the world
, rev. edn, New York, NY: Oxford University Press, 2011, p. xxxv.

Chapter 5

1
G.A. Bonanno,
The Other Side of Sadness: What the new science of bereavement tells us about life after loss
, New York, NY: Basic Books, 2009, p. 7.

2
S. Fox,
Creating a New Normal . . . After the death of a child
, Bloomington, NY: iUniverse Inc., 2010, p. 37.

3
W. Martin,
Primates of Park Avenue: A memoir
, New York, NY: Simon & Schuster, 2015, p. 198.

4
M. Gurven and H. Kaplan, ‘Longevity among hunter-gatherers: A cross-cultural examination',
Population and Development Review
, 2007, 33(2), pp. 321–65.

5
Martin, p. 205.

6
Martin, p. 205.

7
Bonanno, p. 47.

8
T. Attig,
How We Grieve: Relearning the world
, rev. edn, New York, NY: Oxford University Press, 2011, p. xxvii.

9
Attig, p. xxx.

10
Attig, p. xxxi.

Chapter 6

1
E. Kübler-Ross and D. Kessler,
On Grief & Grieving: Finding the meaning of grief through the five stages of loss
, New York, NY: Scribner, 2014, p. 76.

2
W. Martin,
Primates of Park Avenue: A Memoir
, New York, NY: Simon & Schuster, 2015, p. 219.

3
The Dalai Lama, H.H., ‘Foreword', in
The Tibetan Book of the Dead
, New York, NY: Bantam, 1994, p. xvii.

4
G.A. Bonanno, C. Wortman, D. Lehman et al., ‘Resilience to loss and chronic grief: A prospective study from preloss to 18 months postloss',
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
, 2002, 83(5), pp. 1150–64.

5
G.A. Bonanno,
The Other Side of Sadness: What the new science of bereavement tells us about life after loss
, New York, NY: Basic Books, 2009, p. 128.

Chapter 7

1
A.D. Ong, C.S. Bergeman and S.M. Boker, ‘Resilience comes of age: Defining features in later adulthood',
Journal of Personality
, 2009, 77(6), pp. 1777–804.

2
R.S. Lazarus, A.D. Kanner and S. Folkman, ‘A cognitive-phenomenological analysis', in R. Plutchik and H. Kellerman (eds),
Theories of Emotion
, New York, NY: Academic Press, 1980, pp. 189–217.

3
B.L. Fredrickson, K.A. Coffey and J. Pek et al., ‘Open hearts build lives: Positive emotions, induced through loving-kindness meditation, build consequential personal resources',
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
, 2008, 95(5), pp. 1045–62.

4
S. Lyubomirsky, L. King and E. Diener, ‘The benefits of frequent positive affect: Does happiness lead to success?'
Psychological Bulletin
, 2005, 131(6), pp. 803–55.

5
B.L. Fredrickson,
Positivity: Groundbreaking research reveals how to embrace the hidden strength of positive emotions, overcome negativity, and thrive
, New York, NY: Crown Publishers, 2009, pp. 99, 101.

6
B.L. Fredrickson, M.M. Tugade, C.E. Waugh and G.R. Larkin, ‘What good are positive emotions in crises?: A prospective study of resilience and emotions following the terrorist attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001',
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
, 2003, 84(2), pp. 365–76.

7
Fredrickson,
Positivity
, p. 102.

8
G.A. Bonanno, S. Galea, A. Bucciarelli and D. Vlahov, ‘Psychological resilience after disaster: New York City in the aftermath of the September 11th terrorist attack',
Psychological Science
, 2006, 17(3), pp. 181–6.

9
A.D. Ong, C.S. Bergeman, T.L. Bisconti and K.A. Wallace, ‘Psychological resilience, positive emotions, and successful adaptation to stress in later life',
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
, 2006, 91(4), pp. 730–49.

10
Ong, Bergeman and Boker, ‘Resilience comes of age', pp. 1777–804.

11
K. Britton, ‘Grief is part of life', blog written for
Positive Psychology News Daily
, 26 May 2011,
http://positivepsychologynews.com/news/kathrynbritton/2011052617816
(accessed 20 October 2015).

12
T. Ben-Shahar, ‘Five ways to become happier today', recorded 23 September 2009,
http://bigthink.com/videos/fivewaystobecomehappiertoday
(accessed 23 February 2016).

13
E. O'Brien, personal communication, 10 November 2015.

14
G.A. Bonanno,
The Other Side of Sadness: What the new science of bereavement tells us about life after loss
, New York, NY: Basic Books, 2009, p. 30.

15
C. Wortman, ‘Positive emotions: Do they have a role in the grieving process?' blog written for This Emotional Life,
www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/blogs/positiveemotionsdotheyhaverolegrievingprocess
(accessed 4 November 2015).

16
See
www.griefsheart.com
.

17
D. Charney, ‘Resilience: The science of mastering life's greatest challenges', online lecture for the Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, 9 July 2013,
www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEWnTjgGVcw
(accessed 26 February 2016).

18
D. Keltner and G.A. Bonanno, ‘A study of laughter and dissociation: Distinct correlates of laughter and smiling during bereavement',
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
, 1997, 73(4), pp. 687–702.

19
F. Bryant, ‘Savoring Beliefs Inventory (SBI): A scale for measuring beliefs about savoring',
Journal of Mental Health
, 2003, 12(2), pp. 175–96.

Chapter 8

1
M. Stroebe and H. Schut, ‘The dual process model of coping with bereavement: Rationale and description',
Death Studies,
1999, 23(3), pp. 197–224.

2
Stroebe and Schut, p. 216.

3
C. Rushton, personal communication, 1 December 2015.

4
Stroebe and Schut, p. 216.

5
C. Wortman, personal communication, 19 January 2016.

6
C. Wortman, ‘Positive emotions: Do they have a role in the grieving process?' blog written for This Emotional Life,
www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/blogs/positiveemotionsdotheyhaverolegrievingprocess
(accessed 4 November 2015).

7
Stroebe and Schut.

8
www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/features/desertislanddiscs/findacastaway

Chapter 9

1
K. Reivich and A. Shatté,
The Resilience Factor: 7 keys to finding your inner strength and overcoming life's hurdles
, New York, NY: Broadway Books, 2002, p. 43.

2
S. Ahmad, A. Feder and E.J. Lee, ‘Earthquake impact in a remote South Asian population: Psychosocial factors and post-traumatic symptoms',
Journal of Traumatic Stress
, 2010, 23(3), pp. 408–12.

3
www.1wildandpreciouslife.com/2015/03/theuniversallawofimpermanence/

4
Reivich and Shatté, p. 43.

5
C.S. Lewis,
A Grief Observed
, London: Faber & Faber, 1961, p. 9.

6
J.S. Cheavens, D.B. Feldman and A. Gum, ‘Hope therapy in a community sample: A pilot investigation',
Social Indicators Research
, 2006, 77(1), pp. 61–78.

7
J. Kabat-Zinn, ‘Mindfulness-based interventions in context: Past, present, and future',
Clinical Psychology: Science and practice
, 2003, 10(2): pp. 144–56.

8
Kabat-Zinn.

9
J. Cacciatore and M. Flint, ‘ATTEND: Toward a mindfulnessbased bereavement care model',
Death Studies
, 2012, 36(1): pp. 61–82.

Chapter 10

1
For a review of resilience research among children and youth, see A. Masten, ‘Global perspectives on resilience in children and youth',
Child Development
, 2014, 85(1), pp. 6–20.

2
D. Charney, ‘Resilience: The science of mastering life's greatest challenges', online lecture for the Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, recorded 9 July 2013,
www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEWnTjgGVcw
(accessed 25 October 2015).

3
National Scientific Council on the Developing Child, ‘Supportive relationships and active-skill-building strengths: The foundations of resilience', Working Paper 13, 2015.

4
Charney.

5
T.L. Bisconti, C.S. Bergeman and S.M. Boker, ‘Social support as a predictor of variability: An examination of the adjustment trajectories of recent widows',
Psychology and Aging
, 2006, 21, pp. 590–9.

6
A. Schweitzer,
The Light Within Us
, New York, NY: Philosophical Library, 1959.

7
S. Fox,
Creating a New Normal . . . After the death of a child
, Bloomington, NY: iUniverse Inc., 2010.

8
S. Sandberg, Facebook post, 4 June 2015.

9
J. Gross, ‘Farewell to my daughter Kate, who died on Christmas day', January 2015,
www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jan/10/farewelltomydaughterkatewhodiedonchristmasday
(accessed 26 February 2016).

10
Interview with T. Attig from his website,
www.griefsheart.com/tominterview.php
(accessed 26 February 2016).

11
E. Kübler-Ross and D. Kessler,
On Grief & Grieving: Finding the meaning of grief through the five stages of loss
, New York, NY: Scribner, 2014, p. 66.

12
W.J. Worden,
Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A handbook for the mental health professional
, 3rd edn, New York, NY: Springer Publications, 2002.

13
R. Moran, ‘Just Say You Are Sorry', 1999, originally published in
The Compassionate Friend
newsletter, Fort Lauderdale, FL.

14
T. Lawrence, Everything Doesn't Happen For a Reason, blog post, 20 October 2015, see
www.timjlawrence.com/blog/2015/10/19/everythingdoesnthappenforareason
(accessed 23 February 2016).

Chapter 11

1
For a comprehensive list and access to these studies, see
www.viacharacter.org/www/Research/CharacterResearchFindings
.

2
N. Park, C. Peterson and M.E. Seligman, ‘Strengths of character and well-being',
Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology
, 2004, 23(5), pp. 603–19.

3
T.N. Alim, A. Feder, R.E. Graves et al., ‘Trauma, resilience, and recovery in a high-risk African-American population',
American Journal of Psychiatry
, 2008, 165(12), pp. 1566–75.

4
E. O'Brien, personal communication, 10 November 2015.

5
T. Rashid and A. Anjum, ‘340 Ways to Use VIA Character Strengths', University of Pennsylvania, 2005,
http://tayyabrashid.com/pdf/via_strengths.pdf
(accessed 26 February 2016).

6
D. Charney, ‘Resilience: The science of mastering life's greatest challenges', online lecture for the Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, 9 July 2013,
www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEWnTjgGVcw
(accessed 25 October 2015).

Chapter 12

1
T. Ben-Shahar,
Choose the Life You Want: The mindful way to happiness
, reprint edn, New York, NY: The Experiment, 2014;
Happier: Learn the secrets to daily joy and lasting fulfillment
, New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Professional, 2007;
The Pursuit of Perfect: How to stop chasing perfection and start living a richer, happier life
, New York, NY: McGraw-Hill, 2009.

2
For a short summary of the lifestyle habits that contribute to depression and a prescription for avoidance, watch S. Ilardi's TED talk,
www.youtube.com/watch?v=drv3BP0Fdi8
(accessed 26 February 2016).

3
T. Ben-Shahar, ‘Five Ways to Become Happier Today', recorded 23 September 2009,
http://bigthink.com/videos/fivewaystobecomehappiertoday
(accessed 23 February 2016).

4
S. Ilardi,
The Depression Cure
, London: Vermillion, 2010, p. viii.

5
J.J. Ratey,
Spark: The revolutionary new science of exercise and the brain
, New York, NY: Little, Brown & Company, 2008.

6
Ilardi, p. 16.

7
Ilardi, p. 131.

8
J. Prochaska, C. Redding and K. Evers, ‘The transtheoretical model and stages of change', in K. Glanz, F. Lewis and B. Rimer (eds),
Health Behavior and Health Education
, San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 1997, pp. 60–84.

9
J. Prochaska, J. Norcross and C. Diclemente, ‘Applying the stages of change',
Psychotherapy in Australia
2013, (19)2, p. 4.

10
E. O'Brien, personal communication, 10 November 2015.

Chapter 13

1
R. Neimeyer,
The Lessons of Loss: A guide to coping
, New York, NY: McGraw-Hill, 1998.

2
G.A. Bonanno,
The Other Side of Sadness: What the new science of bereavement tells us about life after loss
, New York, NY: Basic Books, 2009, p. 8.

3
T. Attig,
How We Grieve: Relearning the world
, rev. edn, New York, NY: Oxford University Press, 2011, p. xl.

4
C.G. Davis, S. Nolen-Hoeksema and J. Larson, ‘Making sense of loss and benefiting from the experience: Two construals of meaning',
Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
, 72(2), pp. 561–74.

5
A. Assad, personal communication, 30 October 2015.

Chapter 14

1
Adapted from S. Sandberg's Facebook post, 4 June 2015,
www.facebook.com/sheryl/posts/10155617891025177:0
(accessed 12 October 2015).