Walk of Shame (19 page)

Mike joined me out on the track
the next morning. He was slowly proving to be someone I could easily talk with.
I found out he came from a slew of brothers. And I had begun to wonder if my
indifference to his leg is what seemed to make him self-conscious about it. The
brothers constantly threw challenges at him, to make him prove he'd maintained
his worth. And if he did run into a difficulty, they came together to figure
out a solution so he could manage to do it, after all. They challenged him in
his recovery, helped to make him better, and refined him.

"I'm used to people caring,
and showing that caring by slapping a harness on me and making me climb a
mountain," he said.

"But, from the way you
talked, I knew you could climb a mountain. From your job and lifestyle, I knew
you were out there doing whatever you wanted. I didn't feel the need to test
you. I took you at your word, and I liked what you had to say. And I'm not
indifferent about your leg. It's that I'm not worried about it. You've overcome
it. You don't let it hold you back. No, I didn't know your brothers helped you
do that by way of trial by fire. I just knew that from everything I was seeing,
you'd adapted and moved on from it. There wasn't a need for me to make a big
deal about it."

"Yeah, I get that now. At
the time, I just took it to mean you were avoiding the issue."

"I can't afford the luxury
of avoiding the issue."

"Not unless you had already
cast me aside in your mind and were just letting me stay along for the ride
until you'd narrowed it down enough that I had to go."

I stopped in mid-run.

He stopped and turned back to me.
"I know you wouldn't do that, now. I guess my brothers just had me geared
up to come on here and prove to everybody that a one-legged man could still do
everything he could do before."

"And is that all you're here
for?" I asked, still not having moved.

"No, Em. But you have to
keep in mind that when all of us guys came here, we were one of sixteen. The chances
of being the last man standing were what, six, seven percent? To put yourself
in that situation, you almost have to be able to tell yourself there's
something else you can accomplish with your time in the house, so you can be
okay when you're sent home."

"Well, rest assured, if I
didn't want you around, and want to be around you, I wouldn't keep coming out
here to run with you. I'd be hiding in my home gym and would have sent you home
on the last
Walk of Shame
."

"Yep. I see it, now. You're
not who I feared you were."

"Good,"
I said with a nod and started running again. "I think we just worked
through our first real issue."

A shower, some time spent with
one of the MAs, a quick conversation with Troy later, and I was up at the main
house to let them in on the day's plans.

"Fried egg sandwiches. This
house never disappoints," I declared.

They already had a plate waiting
for me, and a glass of juice poured. I had to wonder if they set a spot every
morning now, just to see if I'd sense it and show up.

"So," Jared said,
"tortuous Mudrun or relaxing yacht trip today?"

I sat down with a breezy sigh.
"Nothing for you today, I'm afraid."

He smiled brightly, having
recognized the pattern of group dates before solos. "Nice! Frisbee
throwing for the dog it is. See ya, suckers." He grabbed a slice of bacon,
winked at me, and went out through the patio doors.

"Who else is exempt
today?" Trevor asked.

"Phillip," I answered
between bites.

Smugness laced Phillip's smile.
He put down the cup towel he was holding, poured himself a cup of coffee, and
went out the patio doors, whistling.

They'd watched him leave as I
continued to eat breakfast. Then, once he'd left, they turned to watch me.

It amazed me the difference in
their reactions to knowing who had the one-on-one dates this week. The two I'd
chosen had smiled like they had one up on the rest of them. And the guys had
reacted as though they believed it, too. It was like they'd sensed I was done
with the throwaways and the competition was on. Trevor, in particular, looked
none too happy to still be lumped in with the large group.

"Ardent, Mike, Stephen,
Liam, Drake, and Trevor," I said for the sake of the camera filming us for
our would-be audience, "we're going to Franklin Canyon Park. They have
trails for hiking, biking, and horseback riding. They welcome birdwatchers and
photographers. And, they have a walking garden tour that includes tea on the
barn patio. Everybody pick your poison and I'll find some caffeine to start
chugging so I can keep up."

Drake smiled and moved to place a
soda in front of me.

It was a real shame that I didn't
feel anything romantic toward him. He had been able to read me well enough to
know that while my tone might have been teasing, I was perfectly serious about
the caffeine.

I checked my
watch. "Fifteen minutes."

Stephen brought his professional
camera with him. He got the group's guide to point out the best trail for bird
watching and wasted no time in leading me off.

"You know," I whispered
so that I wouldn't chase off any birds, "you guys aren't always going to
be able to divvy up the group dates like this."

"No. But if we can, we will.
We figure you come over often enough, everyone can see how we all interact with
each other then."

"Oh, man, and they say I'm a
rule-breaker."

"There's a reason why their
little computer system paired us up with you. I think we're all
rule-breakers."

We quietly moved along the trail
and he proceeded to teach me some things about angles and sunlight. Then he
started pressing all the little doo-dads on the camera to get a far more
superior shot than I could have ever achieved.

"I just snap a bunch of
pictures with my cell phone and hope they can find one to use with my articles.
Sometimes I get fancy and chose a different mode for a couple of them."

He smiled at me with twinkling
eyes and I was drawn to him. He was in his element behind his camera. He had a
genuine interest in what he was showing me, and I was happy to see into his
world. Some of those birds looked downright ugly to me, but he had the ability
to use the camera to bring out their beauty.

Drake took me down a different
path. He had a tablet and a commercial-grade microphone. We'd stop every time
we heard an animal call or wind rustling though the trees and he'd record it.

"I'll mix the sounds in with
some instrumentals back in my studio in the RV, and make a track or two."

"That's awesome."

"It's an idea I've been
working on. They'll be rough, but I can work something up in the next few
days."

"I'd love to hear it."

I admired the way he found
artistic appreciation in everything he saw or heard. He had a way of picking up
on nuances that were beyond me. And this time, we were more relaxed with each
other. I so enjoyed the way he seemed to see the world that I wanted to feel
something romantic for him. I was trying to feel something for him, waiting for
it all to come together.

But then he pulled me close for
another kiss. And it was like sitting down for your favorite meal, mouth
watering, and once you tasted it you realized the cook forgot the secret
ingredient. And now you're sitting there, disappointed with the whole thing.
There was no magic. And no amount of my wanting it to be there was going to
manifest it.

Trevor had me on yet another
hiking trail. We went on a texture hunt. We took close up pictures of leaves,
bark, piles of twigs, patches of dirt, rocks in the canyon, anything he could
use as potential backgrounds with his graphic design work.

"You already showed me into
your work life," I said.

"Yeah, but I was trying to
come up with something to do other than just walk. I'm trying to keep it
interesting." He handed me the camera. "Here, you find a
texture."

I took it and photographed a
close up of his back pocket, the texture of his shirt over his chest, and then
I lined myself up to take a close up of his fly before he grabbed the camera
out of my hands and started to chase me down the trail.

Ardent chose biking, and led us
in the direction of the trail he'd picked.

"I seriously should have
skipped my workout this morning," I remarked.

"You don't want to
bike?"

"No, that's not what I
meant. And, please, I've been walked out. I'll take the biking, gladly. All I
meant is that these group dates are exhausting."

"We can pick a spot to
sit."

I laughed. "I just made a
comment in passing. I don't want you to try to fix it. There's nothing
wrong."

"Okay. Sorry."

- And this was exactly the kind
of thing that made Ardent and I fall flat. -

"What made you pick
biking?" I asked.

"After being cooped up on
the property, I just wanted to get out and move around. I figured we could
cover more ground with biking, why?"

I shrugged as I changed gears to
accommodate the hill we were starting to climb. "I just wondered. Everyone
else picked up on the theme of last week's one-on-ones and tried to show me a
bit about what they do for a living. I was just curious as to your plan of
attack."

"My plan of attack was just
to get out and enjoy. You know, throw in some leisure."

"Awesome. I can easily go
for that."

The chitchat remained light
between us as we traveled over the trail. Unfortunately, there was absolutely
no spark. He was likeable, and I liked him. But I had no desire for him to back
me up against a tree and kiss me. In fact, I was content with the idea that, of
the eight left, he was the only one who hadn't kissed me in any way, shape, or
form.

Mike had horses waiting for us
when I got to him. "I figured you'd be ready for some semblance of sitting
by now."

"Oh, my God, yes, thank
you!"

He laughed and handed me the
reigns to a beautiful, golden-colored mare. "It's nice to know that little
things score such big points with you."

I mounted the horse and watched
him reach down and make sure his prosthetic was secure in the stirrup before he
straightened. "How do I score points with you?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I'm
impressed just by watching you handle and juggle all the stress you must be
under. You're tired, I'm sure. But I've not once seen you lose your
patience."

"Because I'm surrounded by
people who feed me, dress me, brush my hair, and do my makeup. They've taken
away all the everyday annoyances. And that just leaves dating all of you. And
at this stage, my head is kept spinning with trying to get to know all of you,
that I don't have time to lose my patience. Anything that may irritate me gets
pushed to the wayside by the next guy and scenario that is thrown at me."

He handled his horse with the
same calm confidence with which he handled everything else I'd seen him do, at
least when he wasn't worried about my reaction, anyway. It seemed as though our
conversation that morning had finally put him at ease. Now I hoped, with that
out of the way, we could continue to build the friendship we had going and work
on steaming up the romance side of things past a kiss on the forehead. We had
the sweet, now we needed the spice.

As we continued down the trail, I
saw him truly have fun. And as he allowed himself to have fun, it rubbed off on
me and I found myself smiling as we trotted along. Gone was the Mike that kept
trying to compare himself to the other guys or how I treated them in
comparison. It was a joy to see Mike be Mike. We goaded the horses into a
canter and enjoyed the sights.

"Thank you," I told him
near the end.

"For what?"        

"This was the first time
today that I was able to relax and just let loose."

"You mean I made you forget
about all the cameras and other guys?" he asked with a smile.

I thought about it for a beat,
"Yeah, you really did."

He nodded to himself.
"Good."

Yeah, I thought, really good.

Last on my list for the afternoon
was Liam. He'd fallen into the trap of being European. So, of course, he was
elected to sit down to tea with me on the barn patio and then take the walking
tour of the gardens with me.

"Sorry you got stuck with
the girly portion of the date," I said.

"No matter," Liam said.
"At least there's some historical and architectural history on the tour to
butch it up a bit."

I smiled. "You're butch
enough all on your own."

He reached to the vase in the
center of the table and removed one of the flowers, threading the stem into the
hair above his ear. "How about now?" he asked with a serious face.

I laughed and shook my head.
"I think you've lost your manly edge."

"If my nieces were here,
they'd have me wear a crown of flowers."

"How old are they?"

"Four, three, and six
months."

I smiled. "And they know how
to make flower crowns?"

"No, their idiot uncle makes
them for the little hellions, and they take them off and put them on my
head."

"And are you that idiot
uncle?"

"Maybe," he answered
with a grin.

"Any nephews?"

"Not yet, but I have a
sister working on it."

The
conversation continued with teasing banter that I could sit back with and
enjoy. It was light, fun, and he was letting me in. He was still a mountain of
a man, but a charming one. Hell, with that flower in his red hair, he was an
adorable one. The more I spent time with him, the more he just sort of slid his
way into my line of sight and caught my attention. If I wasn't careful, he
could so easily overtake the majority of my attention.

"So he's getting assigned
white," Chloe said.