Violet (The Silver Series Book 4) (7 page)

***

The black and cream fur grew on my shoulders
and back like a welcome blanket in the crisp night air. I shook to
settle the fur, then stepped out into moonlit grays and blacks as
clear as daylight to my wolf eyes. Rafe came out of the shadows to
my left, strong and self-assured in his wolf form. The dark gray of
his coat blended with the darkness around him, making him seem more
a creature of the night than the wolves that waited for us down the
small rise to the cave.

Rafe lifted his muzzle and howled a low,
warm greeting. The wolves below joined him, eight cries of
different pitches mixing in a way that made my blood run hot and
cold at the same time. I lifted my face to the embrace of the moon
and answered the call with a howl of my own. The voice, so unlike
me yet a part of me in the fullness of the tone and the hunger to
belong and be part of something special again, left my throat and
entwined with the others to create a complete tapestry of sound in
the haunting night.

The forest around us fell silent, and our
voices reverberated through the trees and the mountains around us
long after we had stopped. The alpha wolf below turned and seven
wolves vanished into the trees. The mother wolf was at his side and
I wondered which wolf had returned to the pups and how she dared
leave them with another animal. Rafe bumped my shoulder with his
own, his expressive golden eyes questioning. I gave a soft snort
and started down the decline. He caught up, then passed me with the
abandon of a puppy who has just found the joy of the run. I smiled
inside and ran to catch up to him.

The pack flew through the trees, winding in
and out of windfalls, dry creek beds, and across meandering streams
that cut trails through the unforgiving forest floor. Rafe and I
trailed to the pack's right, and it was amazing to see how, without
word or motion to direct them, the wolves flowed as one through the
forest, never missing a step or touching each other though their
shoulders were inches apart. They reminded me of a flock of birds
circling and swooping in flight, their hearts one as they enjoyed
just being alive.

We loped deep into the mountain range.
Rabbits, mice, and the occasional ermine darted out of our way, but
the wolves ignored them, intent on something else. I tried to find
the scent they followed, and suddenly the smell of wild, warm meat,
pounding blood, and the promise of a full belly filled my nose. I
missed a step and staggered in surprise at the strength of the wolf
instinct that filled me.

Rafe glanced back, then slowed to let me
catch up. He watched me from the corner of his eye, his gaze
questioning, but I couldn't voice the emotions that warred inside
me.

The alpha let out a short bark and the pack
suddenly split ahead of us. Rafe and I followed the right-hand
branch around a grove of trees and down into a valley where a
massive herd of elk lifted their heads and stared at our sudden
entrance. The lead elk, an older animal with gray around its velvet
nose and more spikes than I could count at the instant on his
horns, raised his head and bugled a warning to his herd. They took
off in thundering flight ahead of us.

The joy of chasing down prey and feeding
those dependent upon us filled my bones and pounded in my ears. I
joined the pack as they culled a young buck from the herd, a
foolish animal who struck arrogantly with short horns while
throwing hooves right and left. It was obvious by the cast of his
head and the certainty in his eyes that he thought he could take on
the pack, something my wolf consciousness knew was a mistake even
though he towered high above us and his hooves struck the rocks
with the strength of a jack hammer.

The rest of the herd left the young buck
behind and soon it was only the nine of us against the huge beast.
He backed against a jutting rock to protect his backside and struck
out with black hooves and antlers that my instincts warned were
deadly. I paused out of reach, knowing that I was far out of my
skill range and suddenly doubtful that I wanted any part in the
animal's death.

The alpha dove under the antlers and leaped
for the animal's throat. The elk turned at the last instant and the
alpha succeeded only in tearing skin from the animal's shoulder
before jumping back out of the way of his striking hooves.

Rafe took advantage of the distraction and
darted around the other side. He lunged for the elk's back leg and
drew his fangs down the animal's hind quarter. The elk let out a
bugle of pain and limped heavily on the leg when Rafe dove back to
safety. The elk swept his horns Rafe's way, missing the werewolf by
merely inches.

Two more of the pack attacked when the
animal looked away and latched onto his side, driving him to his
knees. The alpha dove under the sweeping horns once more and
latched onto the elk's throat. The elk's eyes rolled and he tried
to get back to his feet, but the weight of the wolf kept him down.
The alpha's jaws closed while the wolves around him brought the elk
to its belly. The alpha stepped back and blood poured from the
animal's throat.

I looked away as the rich iron scent filled
my nose and the animal's gurgling breath died away. The sound of
tearing flesh and hungry animals feeding met my ears. I studied the
ground in front of my paws and tried to remind myself that I was a
human in a wolf's body, and that I didn't want to join them even
though my stomach growled and my soul longed for the unity that
pack feeding brought.

A chunk of meat fell at my feet and I looked
up into Rafe's calm, beautiful golden eyes; a knowing look shone in
them as if he understood the war I fought inside. His muzzle was
dark red with blood and his breath smelled of warm life and food.
He nosed the meat closer to my feet as if to tell me that it was
alright to give in and just be a wolf for a while. I let out my
breath softly, then bent and began to eat. Rafe turned and brought
back another hunk of meat for himself, then settled on his belly
next to me to eat his share.

The meat filled me as food in my human form
never had. Though there was only one flavor, it was rich and tender
from lush mountain grass and cold streams, tender bushes, and
golden sunlight. I struggled to eat only my fill as the wolf
instinct urged me to gorge in times of plenty against moments of
lack. The other wolves' bellies were distended by the time they
were ready to return to the meadow.

We followed the pack back to the den and I
wondered why none of the wolves had brought meat back, but when the
pups came out and pawed and danced around their mother at the scent
of food, she regurgitated partially-chewed meat for them to feast
on. Another wolf dropped a mostly-clean leg bone, and after the
pups and the older light gray wolf that had stayed behind to watch
them had eaten their fill, the pups began to play tug-o-war with
the bone.

Rafe sat near the trees and watched the
pups, a content expression on his face. I settled next to him and
enjoyed the simplicity of no one asking how I was doing or if I had
been able to control myself. The younger wolves played with the
pups while the alpha and his mate lay next to the den entrance,
occasionally licking each other's muzzles in a gesture so tender it
was as obvious as a couple holding hands or hugging to see that
they loved each other.

Chapter 6

“
Your pack is amazing,” I
told Rafe later after I phased in the cave and he came in wearing
the shorts and shirt I had bought. “They care about you very
much.”

“
And I, them,” he said. He
wrapped the rope he had gotten from the cooler around his waist and
tucked it under the shorts. “They saved my life and gave me a
reason to live.” He shook out the bear skin and spread it near the
fire he had built. “You can sleep here.”

“
I don't sleep, remember?”
I said, though the bed looked very inviting and after the chase, my
limbs felt heavy with exhaustion. My mind raced and I knew it would
be a long time before I would be able to give in to
sleep.

“
That's right,” he said. He
glanced at me with a teasing twinkle in his eyes. “The insomniac
werewolf who chases elk by night and saves poor, caged wild
creatures by day.”

I sat on the rug and smiled. “You aren't the
poor, wild creature I thought you were.”

He gave me an unreadable look. “Aren't
I?”

I shook my head and concentrated on the
bear's thick fur, running my hand along the surface to make
patterns.

“
Why did you really save
me, Colleen?”

I glanced at him and he met my gaze full on,
his brow furrowed. “I told you-” I began, but he cut me off.

“
I know, my eyes.” A smile
twitched at the corners of his mouth. “I can't believe that eyes
would make you dare flames and death to save a
stranger.”

I squirmed on the rug, but I couldn't find
the words to answer his question.

“
You fell in love with
me.”

Rafe's soft words were spoken with
certainty, and the truth that beat through my soul was echoed in
his eyes. My heart slowed and I tried to deny the statement, but we
both knew I couldn't. “Yes,” I finally whispered.

His fingers touched my chin and lifted my
face so I would meet his eyes. “Did you know that wolves mate for
life? They chose one wolf as their companion on this earth and I've
seen many wolves who chose to live the rest of their lives alone
after losing their mate.” His eyes were soft with understanding.
“It's in the blood.”

I shook my head. “Not my blood,” I replied
quietly. “I wasn't born a werewolf.”

“
Yet here you are,” Rafe
said with a smile. He brushed the hair back from my face with a
finger, then sat down at the edge of the bear skin. “Men on the
radio rave about God, or a higher power, or something in the
universe that guides us for the greater good.” His gaze darkened
and he stared out the cave entrance into the night. “I used to hate
whatever that was, some insurmountable being who had allowed my
parents to be slaughtered and let me live for no apparent
reason.”

His gaze lightened and his golden eyes
reminded me of the moon, calling to me with some unknown force,
soothing the parts of me that felt sharp and jagged with everything
that had happened. “But then I watched the wolves and felt the love
and respect they had for each other. I remembered the way my mom
used to look at my dad, and how they used to laugh and hold hands.
It was enough to hope that someday I would feel the same way about
someone.”

He dropped his eyes. “But all I am is really
just a wild werewolf. I kill and I eat what I kill, I defend the
pack with my life as they have defended me, and I have
conversations with total strangers around campfires just to pretend
that I’m human.” His brow tightened. “It really isn't much to
offer.”

I stared at him, the way the firelight
played off his tangled brown hair, casting the strong line of his
jaw, his soft lips, and his dark brows in profile. My heart slowed
at the self-deprecating look in his eyes and the scorn he felt for
himself. His hands rested on his knees and when I touched one of
them, he moved to turn away, but I caught his hand and wouldn't let
go until he looked at me.

His eyes met mine with an exposed, haunted
look. “I loved you before I even knew anything about you,” I said
softly. “Everything I learn just adds to that love.” His eyes
studied mine intently, looking for laughter or derision. When he
found none, he dropped his eyes to our hands.

I took a steeling breath and continued,
“I've found a werewolf who cares about his pack more than most do
for their own family. I see someone who appreciates the forest in a
way only those who have depended upon it for survival can. I hear
the depth of love in your voice when you speak about your parents
and I'm shocked to see that instead of being embittered or filled
with hatred because of what you went through, you're humble and
torn.”

He turned his face away, but I caught his
cheek with my hand and drew it gently back to me. He blinked
rapidly and tears shone in the firelight. I took a small breath.
“And I see someone that I love so much it hurts.” He looked back at
me and opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, I
covered it with my own.

The kiss sent a thrill of warmth through my
body. His lips were soft at first, then needing and wanting as
though he couldn't get enough. He pulled away quicker than I was
ready and stared at me, his eyes wide and still wet with tears.
“Why love me?”

I blinked back tears of my own. “Powers of
the universe?”

He laughed and pulled me into a hug so tight
and fierce that for the first time since I phased under Tannin's
supervision, I finally felt safe and wanted, not a problem for
people to solve in Roger's case, or a sister to protect because I
had been let down before, but as someone with needs and wants and
feelings of my own. I hugged Rafe back as fiercely and felt him
smile against my hair.

He finally let me go and fell back on the
bear skin. “Loving you is exhausting.”

I laughed and pushed his shoulder. “Then
sleep, you baby.” Dark rings circled his eyes, disclosing how late
it truly was. After not sleeping last night, I realized I must not
have looked much better.

“
I'll sleep if you sleep,”
he said, pulling me down next to him.

I shook my head. “Insomniac, remember?”

He sighed and wrapped his arms around me,
pulling me into a close embrace I never wanted to break. “Then I'll
sing and force you to listen until you want to escape my voice so
badly you'll sleep just to get away.”

I laughed. “You have a wonderful voice. I'll
take you up on your offer just so you have to sing to me
again.”