Violet (The Silver Series Book 4) (5 page)

“
Um, ma'am?”

She turned with the half-scared,
half-defiant expression of a woman who feared getting carjacked
late at night. Her eyes widened when she saw that I wore only a
shirt. “What happened to you? Are you okay?”

I nodded, then figured I should probably
milk the situation for what it was worth and shook my head. “I ran
away from my boyfriend and I'm trying to get home.” I tried to
bring up tears, but my acting skills were lacking. My voice shook
enough from nervousness that at least I didn't have to force it.
“Can I borrow some quarters to call my mom?”

She grabbed her purse from the car and
handed me two twenty dollar bills along with several quarters.
“They have some clothes in the gas station. It's not a great
selection, but it'll let you go home with your dignity.” She gave
me a wink, her fake eyelashes fluttering. “We've all been there, so
you have nothing to be worried about.”

“
Th-thank you,” I
stuttered, surprised. I turned to go.

“
Miss?”

I looked back to see her digging in her
purse again. She pulled out a small bottle, sprayed some on me,
then handed me the perfume. “To cover up the smell,” she said with
another wink. “I don't know what you kids are into these days, but
you smell like a forest.”

I fought back a smile and accepted the
bottle. I waved at Rafe surreptitiously, then stepped around the
gas station to the three pay phones. My heart pounded in my chest
as I inserted the coins and dialed the number Kaynan had made me
memorize the second I could think without phasing every minute.

The phone rang several times, then the voice
that had been with me since I was born said, “Hello?”

“
Kaynan?” I blinked back
tears.

“
Colleen?” The heartache
and relief in his voice broke down the feeble wall I had put up and
the tears flowed down my cheeks. “Colleen, is that really
you?”

“
It's me.”

“
How. . . I mean. . .but
how? Colleen, I thought you were dead.” His voice cracked and he
sniffed. I knew him well enough to know that he was crying, too. “I
thought I'd lost you again.”

“
I know,” I forced past the
lump in my throat. “I'm sorry I didn't call earlier. This is the
first time we found a phone, I-”

“
We?” Kaynan's voice grew
stronger. “Who's with you, Colleen? Are you okay? Are you a
prisoner or-”

“
I'm okay,” I cut him off.
“I'm with Rafe. He saved me from the fire.”

“
Who's Rafe?”

I remembered they hadn't even thought Rafe
could speak, let alone have a name. This wasn't going to be easy.
“Rafe is the werewolf from the rehab center, in the analysis
room.”

“
I don't remember anyone
named Rafe, especially in the analysis center. There was only you
and. . . .” He fell silent, processing, then he spoke in a voice
thick with disbelief. “Don't tell me you're with that wild
wolf.”

“
He's not wild-”

“
Colleen!” he cut me off.
“He's dangerous. I can't believe you're with him and you've waited
this long to let me know you're alive. I've been at the center
helping them sift through the wreckage and fearing that I was going
to find your body.” His voice grew tighter, “But I also feared
where you were if I didn't. I don't know what I'd do if Tannin's
men found you again.”

“
So it was Dr. Tannin?” I
fought back a wave of nausea.

“
We're not sure, but it's
the best guess we've got,” Kaynan answered. I could almost hear him
frown. “No changing the subject, Colleen. We need to get you home.
You can't trust that wild wolf-”

“
He's not a wolf, he's a
werewolf and he's not wild.” I was surprised at the sudden
defensiveness that filled me when he spoke about Rafe. “He saved my
life, and he's a good guy.”

Kaynan took a breath and let it out loudly.
“Okay,” he said in a forcibly steady tone. “He's a good guy. Let's
get you both home where you're safe and go from there.”

I felt eyes on me and looked up to see Rafe
watching me from the foliage at the edge of the gas station parking
lot. His golden eyes reflected the moonlight, and there was an
expression of sadness on his face as though he guessed what we were
talking about. I knew that if I went back to civilization, he
wouldn't be going with me.

I took a breath to steady my resolve. “I'm
not coming home.”

Disbelief colored Kaynan's voice. “What do
you mean, you're not coming home? You've got to come home.
Everyone's missing you and you're not safe out there-”

“
I can't go back behind
walls and doors, Kay.” The image it evoked sent a shudder through
my skin. I pushed the thought away and continued despite his
protests, “I'm learning how to control myself. It's easier out here
without people trying to tell me I should have more self-control,
or I'm not safe to be around, or listening to them talk about how
they don't know what they'll do with me if I don't learn to control
it. I hear them behind the doors, Kay. I know what everyone
thinks.” More tears flowed down my cheeks. I wiped them away with
my sleeve.

Kaynan's voice came softer. “Colleen, we can
work this out. You don't need to stay away.”

I shook my head even though he couldn't see
it. “I need to work things out. I promise I'll be back.”

“
I need to see you, Cole. I
need to know you're okay.” His voice grew desperate. “It nearly
killed me to think you had died in that fire or Tannin's men got
you. Ask the others. I've been working non-stop since the fire
searching through the wreckage to find you and know if I had killed
you again.”

My heart slowed. “The fire wasn't your
fault. You didn't make it happen.”

“
But you weren't safe
there. I shouldn't have gone back to Jaze's. I shouldn't have let
you out of my sight. I-”

I cut him off with the realization of what I
needed to do for both of us. “Kay, I need you to listen to me.” I
paused, and when he stopped talking, I said, “You can't live your
life if you're so worried about me. The accident wasn't just your
fault. I knew you had been drinking and I should have called Mom
and Dad instead of getting in the car with you.” He tried to
protest, but I rushed on, “We both died in an accident and for some
reason we've been given another chance at living again.” I took a
shallow breath. “I'm going with Rafe and I don't want you to worry
about me.”

“
Colleen, I-”

“
I need to find myself out
here, and you need to find a new life there without me so that when
I come back, you'll be able to stop worrying about losing me.
Neither of us can live that way.”

“
Tell me where you are. We
can discuss it there instead of over the phone.”

My heart caught in my throat at the pain in
his voice, but I refused. “You spent practically every waking
moment at the rehab center. I don't know why Grace even put up with
that. She's an amazing person and she loves you and I know you love
her.”

“
Colleen, wait,
I-”

A beep on the phone indicated I had ten
seconds left.

“
Kaynan, I've gotta go, but
I'll call you. I'm safe, so please don't worry. I love
you.”

“
Colleen, don't
go!”

“
Bye, Kaynan.” I hung up
the phone to the sound of his protests and a fresh wave of tears
rolled down my face. I let myself seep in self-pity for a few
moments, missing him, my mom and dad, my friends, Debra who had
died in the car accident with us, my school, and my old life so
fiercely it was hard to breathe.

I leaned against the old pay phone that
smelled of hundreds of people and the occasional forest creature
that came to lick the salt of sweat off the phone handle, and
allowed myself to fear for one moment the different creature I had
become. I feared my stronger senses, the instincts that told me to
run or fight when my old tendency was to act as a peacemaker. I
feared the call of the moon and the power it had over me. I feared
the forest that grew up to the edge of the parking lot and in some
places overturned the pavement with reaching roots as though it
longed to take back the land that had once been a part of it. And I
feared the werewolf that watched me from the shadows of that
forest, also a part of it in a way that I would never be.

Then I looked up straight into Rafe's eyes.
The distance between us felt like inches, and I could smell the
wild, woodsy, cedar and winter rain scent of him even from across
the parking lot. His gaze held a depth of sadness that said he had
heard our conversation, but also that somewhere inside he felt a
similar pain of loss with which he could identify. I wanted to ask
him what it was, but he tipped his head to remind me of the gas
station.

I sighed, wondering why he could fluster me
so much that I kept forgetting what I was doing. I closed my eyes
and found the center of calm Mom had once told me was one of my
greatest gifts. I let the calm overcome the torrent of thoughts
caused by my conversation with Kaynan and the fears of what I had
become. The whirlwind inside faded to a manageable gust.

I took a breath and stepped into the gas
station. It felt strange to walk on the cold tile floor with bare
feet, neon lights glaring overhead and cigarette signs flashing
behind the cash register. The cashier, a boy even younger than me
who was probably pulling late hours for his gas money, glanced up
from the graphic novel he was reading, looked back down at the
page, then stared up at me again, his eyes wide behind big glasses
and disheveled hair.

I walked past him to the two racks of
clothes, grateful that as the only gas station in town it also
served as a gift shop and mini mart. I found a dark gray teeshirt
and a pair of blue jean shorts that would fit somewhat decently,
pulled the tags off, set them on the counter in front of the
still-staring cashier, and changed into the clothes in the
surprisingly clean restroom. I then used the restroom with the
relish of one who had been confined to Mother Nature for
relief.

I found black shorts and a dark blue shirt
that I thought Rafe would like, then laughed at myself for thinking
I knew anything about his likes or dislikes. It unnerved me to know
I was going back into the wild with him. I shoved the thought aside
and bought jerky, trail mix, two big bottles of water, and a
backpack to carry it all in with the remainder of the money.

The cashier stared at me with a mixture of
curiosity and surprise. I realized I must have looked like quite
the wreck when I walked in, and was grateful that the teeshirt and
shorts fit somewhat reasonably. His cell phone sat on the counter
next to the cash register and I glanced at it. “Does that get good
reception out here?” I asked as casually as I could manage.

“
Uh, it, uh, yeah,” he
stuttered out, his eyes wide. He swallowed, then straightened his
glasses and sat up. “It’s the best phone for reception you can
get.” He indicated the mountains. “Anything else, and you’re pretty
much screwed up here.”

I smiled at him; he shifted in his seat and
gave me a crooked grin back. I pushed the clothes, tags, and items
I had gathered onto the counter. “I’ll get these, thank you.”

He stared at me a second longer, then
swallowed again and nodded. “Yes, of course.” He rang them up one
by one and I packed them into the backpack. I pulled the backpack
off the counter when he was done, sliding the cell phone underneath
it as I did so. I caught it when it fell and slipped it into my
pocket.

“
That’ll be thirty-nine
eighty,” he said.

I felt a wave of gratitude for the woman's
generosity and handed him the money. I slipped the change into a
pocket of the backpack and headed back out into the night with the
gawking cashier behind me, a cell phone in my pocket, and a
backpack full of supplies.

Chapter 5

I had lost all sense of direction, time, or
date other than the fact that it was almost two days from the gas
station heading deep into forested hills that smelled nothing of
man or civilization by the time Rafe stopped and said in his soft,
calm voice that we had made it. My uncontrolled phasing had slowed
during our journey; I didn’t know if it was the open woods or the
fact that no one was there to tell me not to phase that made it
easier, but Rafe’s patience and easy acceptance of my struggle
eased my frustration. He phased whenever I did, and never indicated
that it bothered him if I slowed us down.

I stared through the trees ahead and
couldn't see anything until the breeze shifted and brought me a
scent like that of the werewolf but deeper, more full, and mixed
with the pine and loam of the forest as though the scents were one.
I narrowed my eyes and studied the clearing.

My heart jumped when a form next to one of
the boulders lifted its head and looked in our direction. A gray
and brown wolf, smaller than a werewolf but bigger than the wolves
I had seen in the zoo, sniffed the air and then rose to his feet.
Other forms stood with him and stared in our direction until I
looked into the calm, searching golden eyes of seven wolves.

Rafe held up a hand for me to stay where I
was, then walked toward them. The biggest wolf, a dark gray
creature with black markings along its back and shoulders, stepped
forward and waited for Rafe with his ears up, his muzzle high, and
tail held stiff. Rafe crouched in his human form so that he and the
wolf were eye-level and about two feet stood between them. The wolf
took three slow steps forward, his eyes never leaving Rafe’s.