Violet (The Silver Series Book 4) (11 page)

I couldn’t explain why I was alive, or what
had become of my life since the accident, but the cool grass under
my paws and the ticklish scent of mustard weeds, sun-baked earth,
and dandelions reminded me that I didn’t regret it for an instant.
As much as Kaynan carried the regret of the accident on his
shoulders, he had saved me from Dr. Tannin and given me a chance at
a second life. My new life was strange and unpredictable, but one
thing made it all worth while. Rafe.

I stopped running and Taye stopped after a
few steps as well. She threw me a questioning look and I tipped my
head in the direction of the house and gave a short whine. She
bowed her head, her white fur bright in the moonlit meadow, then
she lifted her nose to the moon and gave a short howl. The tones of
homecoming and farewell mingled in a short, haunting song that left
my heart full even after it faded. I wondered how the werewolves
knew the same notes I had learned with Rafe’s pack, but the way
they pulled at my soul answered the question before it was asked.
No matter what language was used, home and farewell would always
feel the same.

Two golden tones rang out from the sparse
woods ahead of us. Grace’s high, soft voice mingled with Kaynan’s
low howl. I wished for the first time that my mom and dad could
hear them like that because I had never heard a song so beautiful.
I missed my parents with a burning ache, but until I could control
my phasing, I couldn’t bring what I was to them. I had avoided
thinking of them, but they deserved to see Kaynan and Grace
together. Kaynan completed Grace’s eyesight, but Grace was so much
more to my brother. She filled something in him that had been empty
for so long. The searching, restless look in his eyes was gone when
he was with her, and the first peace I had ever seen on his face
lingered when she was near.

Their notes bid us farewell while at the
same time promising that they wouldn’t be long behind. Taye turned
with me and we crossed the fields slowly on our way back home. Her
quiet presence was comforting and accepting. I didn’t know her
beyond her few brief visits to the rehab center and her skilled
assistance with Rafe when they landed with the helicopter, but
Kaynan had told me of her relationship with Jet, the quiet,
black-haired werewolf who looked ready and able to take down an
army if needed. The scars that ran up his arms and marked his face
and any other visible skin told of a brutal past that Kaynan had
only hinted at. I could understand how he would be drawn to Taye,
how the calm reassurance of her presence stilled the wildness that
showed in his eyes.

The closer we got to Meg and Roger’s, the
more I worried about Rafe. I kept telling myself that he was
alright, but I feared he would awaken scared and alone, hurt and
afraid with only strangers to comfort him. Worse than that, I
feared what would happen if he didn’t wake up at all. Dr.
Benjamin’s honesty felt like a stake in my heart. I didn’t know
what I would do if Rafe died.

Nikki opened the door when Taye scratched on
it, and I loped straight upstairs, phased, and pulled on my
clothes. I was grateful that the house was still and silent as I
made my way back to the living room. I slipped out the door with a
quiet whisper of thanks to both Nikki and Taye, and ran across the
lawn to Meg and Roger’s.

When I entered the room, Meg met my
questioning look with a slight shake of her head. “No change,” she
said quietly, a hint of apology in her voice.

“
That can be good or bad,”
I replied. I blinked to ease the burning in my eyes. I refused to
cry. Rafe needed someone strong at his side, not some babbling girl
who cried before knowing the outcome.

“
Yes, it can,” Meg replied.
She gestured to the covered bowl she had set on a t.v. tray. My
stomach growled at the scent of a thick, meaty stew. “Eat up,” she
said with a smile. “You won’t do him any good if you waste
away.”

I nodded. “Thank you.” I took my seat beside
Rafe’s table and buried my head against the thick fur at his neck,
reassuring myself with the cedar and winter rain scent that was his
as surely as his pure voice when he sang me to sleep or the way his
golden eyes glittered when he watched the pups fight over a bone. I
ate slowly of the stew and missed him with every breath.

Chapter 9

I opened my eyes, then wondered what had
startled me. I hadn't slept since we made it to Meg and Roger’s,
merely lying in the daze of the insomniac who knows sleep is a long
ways away. Then something moved under my fingers. I turned my head
and looked straight into Rafe's beautiful golden eyes. They were
clouded with pain and confusion, but the recognition and relief
that filled them when he looked at me made me smile.

“
Hello,” I said
softly.

He tried to move, and I heard his heart
begin to race when he felt the bonds holding him down.

“
It's alright,” I tried to
reassure him. “It's just so you don't break your stitches while
your body heals.”

His eyes rolled and he pulled against the
bindings. I held him down, worried he would hurt himself further.
Rafe pushed against me, panic and pain in his gaze. “Roger,
Meg!”

Footsteps pounded down the hall and Roger
and Charles appeared. Dr. Benjamin had returned to his hospital
yesterday, stating blandly that he had done what he could and
nothing else would keep the werewolf on earth if his wounds were
going to kill him, but Charles had kindly agreed to stay in case he
awakened and needed additional care. Roger rushed to hold Rafe down
from the other side while Charles prepared something in a syringe.
He pushed it into Rafe's shoulder, and Rafe's struggling slowed. We
didn't let go until he stopped fighting us altogether and his eyes
closed.

“
It's just another
sedative,” Charles reassured me. He grinned and at my questioning
look, explained, “He's strong. No one who's about to die would be
that strong.”

I gave a small smile with the glimmer of
hope that formed in my chest at his words. “You think so?”

He nodded and patted my shoulder. “I do. As
long as he didn't do too much damage when he awoke, I think he just
might make it.”

He and Roger checked the bandages and I
slumped back into the chair, suddenly so exhausted I felt like I
could sleep for a week. It was as though now that Rafe was going to
pull through, my body would let me relax my vigil if just for a
little while.

***

I awoke on the couch and found the house
empty. After checking to make sure that Rafe was still sleeping
soundly in his wolf form, I crossed the grassy yard between Roger
and Jaze's houses. I paused at the corner and heard quiet voices
coming from the porch.

“
I’m just not sure if now’s
the time,” Jaze said, his voice contemplative but concerned. The
porch swing creaked.

“
You need to live your
life, too,” Nikki replied.

Jaze sighed. “I can’t leave everything here.
There’s too much going on.”

“
I know,” Nikki said
warmly. “You carry so much by yourself.”

I could hear the smile in Jaze’s voice when
he replied, “Not by myself.”

Nikki laughed quietly. “No, not by
yourself.” They both fell silent for a few minutes and I debated
whether to let them know I was there, then she said, “But you’ve
always wanted to go to college. You’d make a great professor.”

Jaze chuckled. “I definitely know how to
handle unruly werewolves.”

“
Exactly,” Nikki replied. A
shorter, comfortable silence ensued. I took a step around the
corner, but they didn’t notice me. Nikki leaned against the arm of
the porch swing with her back to me and her bare feet in Jaze’s
lap. He rubbed her feet as they talked, his fingers softly
caressing her skin.

“
Whatever you chose, I’m
here with you,” she said, her voice determined. “If you want to go
to college, I’ll apply too. If you want to stay and rescue
werewolves and continue to harbor peace between the werewolves and
Hunters, I’ll do that, too.”

A soft kiss sounded, then Jaze said, “You’re
the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“
And you to me,” Nikki
replied. “Even if you are a werewolf.”

He tickled her toes and she laughed, then he
pulled her close so that she sat on his lap. “Nikki, you are my
life. No matter what I do or where I end up, if you’re by my side
it’ll be the right place.”

She stared down at him and I couldn’t see
her expression from where I stood, but her hand ran softly through
his dark blond hair and he closed his eyes for the briefest moment.
Moonlight played off his face and his smile, a smile that he saved
only for her. He opened his eyes and my heart caught at the look in
them.

Nikki stared down at him and her fingers
toyed with the hair behind his ear. “I love you so much, Jaze
Carso.”

“
You are my forever,” Jaze
replied in a voice soft and possessive at the same time. He pulled
her close and kissed her gently on the lips. She leaned down, her
neck graceful and her black hair brushing his hand that rested on
the small of her back. She then rested her head on his shoulder and
gave a soft sigh of contentment. My heart yearned for that sigh,
for a love so deep nothing could be wrong in a world where it
belonged.

“
Your mom’s going to wonder
where we disappeared to,” Nikki said after a few more minutes of
comfortable silence.

“
She won’t mind wondering a
little bit longer,” Jaze replied.

Nikki laughed and stood up, then pulled him
to his feet.

“
Just note that I’m going
inside under protest,” he said, wrapping his arm around her
waist.

“
Noted,” she replied. They
both laughed and boards creaked under their feet as they crossed to
the door.

I waited in the moonlight for a few minutes
with a heavy heart. Rafe was so wild, so ingrained in the ways of
the wolf. I wondered if he could ever feel for me as deeply as
Nikki and Jaze felt for each other. I ached to be with him. Every
thought I had centered on him. I got lost in his eyes and his calm
self-assurance in the woods. My future was uncertain. It would be
wonderful to have someone committed to sharing so much together,
but I couldn’t ask that of him.

If he did pull through this, he deserved to
go back to the wild where he was comfortable. As much as I loved
both worlds, I didn’t know where I really fit. A wave of loneliness
washed over me so sharply I swallowed a sob and made myself walk up
the porch steps. The lights were on and the muffle of cheery voices
drifted from inside.

Jaze opened the door. “Colleen! Come on in.”
He stepped back to let me enter. “It's nice to have you over.”

I smiled at the looks of surprise on the
faces of Kaynan's friends. My brother rose from the couch and
offered me his seat. “You've got to be exhausted,” he said.

I shook my head. “I got some sleep, but I've
missed just talking.” I fought back a blush. “It gets a little
quieter than I'm used to in the forest.”

“
I can believe it,” Brock
said from his place on the floor eating a slice of pizza. “No
bathrooms, no telephones, no television,” he gestured with his
food, “no pizza delivery boy. From what I've learned about
werewolves, it's a wonder you didn't starve out there.”

I glanced at Kaynan and he laughed. “Don't
mind Brock. If he's not filling his stomach, he's worrying about
what he'll find to eat next.”

As if to prove Kaynan's point, Brock
finished his last bite, wiped his hands on his pants, and hurried
back to the kitchen. Jet stared after him for a moment from his
place leaning against the door frame to the kitchen, then pushed
off and followed him. The sounds of a tussle followed, and Jet
returned with a sandwich and a triumphant gleam in his eyes. Brock
came back sulking a minute later with another slice of cold
pizza.

“
I'm making spaghetti,”
Mrs. Carso called from the kitchen. “More food will be available
soon.” Everyone laughed at the competitive look Brock and Jet
exchanged.

“
Mrs. Carso is the best
cook,” Grace said from the seat next to me. She gave me a sweet
smile, her blue eyes soft in their blindness. Kaynan set a hand on
her shoulder from his new spot behind the couch and she covered it
with her own, her fingers caressing the back of his
hand.

The expression on Kaynan's face was the
happiest I had ever seen. His dark red eyes had a warmth in them I
hadn't seen before the accident, and the protectiveness of his
stance behind Grace showed that he cared for her more than he had
ever cared for anything. She was good for him, and I liked her all
the more for that.

The scent of tomato sauce, spaghetti
noodles, meat balls, and garlic bread made my mouth water. I
couldn't remember the last time I had eaten spaghetti. My stomach
twisted when I realized it was the night before the accident. Mom
had just agreed to let me go to the school dance with Debra as long
as Kaynan brought us home by ten o'clock. It was early, but my
parents were sticklers about being home on school nights. If only
they could have known that would be the last night we would ever be
home.

Mrs. Carso's call to dinner startled me out
of my dark thoughts. I followed Grace and Kaynan to the kitchen,
and smiled when he held her hand and then pulled the chair out for
her. Grace had brought something sweet and gentle out in him that
hadn't been there before. I wondered if Mom and Dad noticed when he
visited them, and felt a sharp pain at the knowledge that they
still thought I was dead. I took a seat on Grace's other side and
blinked back tears at the sight of the spaghetti.