Uptown Girl (32 page)

Kate slipped out onto the terrace unnoticed and leaned against the closing door. She was dizzy and having trouble catching her breath. She knew that most likely she was having what psychologists would term ‘an acute panic attack' but at the moment she was more woman, less psychologist. She took a moment or two to calm herself. Behind her in the hall, she heard the band begin to play ‘If I Loved You'. Kate walked through the heat to the end of the terrace, but there was no escape. It was a corny song and she didn't like ballads from musicals. That was more in Brice's department. But there was something undeniably poignant about the unexpressed fear and longing in the song. She felt her own loneliness welling up inside her.

She'd never get married, and even if she did she had no parents to throw her a wedding. Not, she admitted, that she wanted a wedding thrown at her any more than she wanted the damn bridal bouquet that Bina and the Bitches were conniving
to have her catch. She sighed, a lump in her throat.

Then, just a few feet away, there was a shaking of the ivy along the balustrade. At first it was just a shiver, but without the slightest breeze. Kate stepped away, expecting a squirrel or even a chipmunk to emerge. But, instead, the trembling became wilder and the vines beneath the ivy actually jumped back and forth. Kate watched, fascinated, until a hand grabbed the railing. It was followed by a second hand and then Billy Nolan's head and shoulders appeared. Kate nearly screamed, but luckily found herself without a voice. Billy lifted himself by his arms then threw his long legs over the balustrade.

Kate was certain he hadn't been invited, or had he? She couldn't tear her eyes away from him as he stood there, breathing heavily, recovering. He was wearing jeans, a white shirt and loafers – obviously not attire for a wedding.

Had Bina and Elliot been at it again? Were they plotting behind her back? But she'd already broken up with him and gotten her proposal. Surely he wasn't invited. And if he had been, why was he dressed so inappropriately? And why had he chosen to arrive in such an unusual – not to say dangerous – way?

Kate's face registered dismay and she turned around, walking to the end of the terrace. Whatever the answer was, Billy surely wouldn't want to see her. She was embarrassed to be caught out here by him.

Meanwhile, Billy had caught his breath. He looked up and caught her gaze. ‘No wonder my dad preferred ladders,' he said.

Kate was speechless for a moment. Then she had to ask, ‘What are you doing here?'

‘I might ask you the same question,' he said.

She blushed. ‘I'm here to see Bina celebrate.'

‘Out here on the terrace?' Billy asked.

It was too much. She didn't need to be teased by the man she'd loved and lost.

‘I just … I have to go back now,' she told him. ‘Nice seeing you,' she said.

She got as far as the door, her hand actually on the knob, when his arms came around her and his hand rested over hers. ‘Don't touch the dial,' he said.

Kate watched, her face reflected in the glass of the terrace door. She was flushed and her lips were trembling. It wasn't a pretty picture. Behind it everyone was on the dance floor, celebrating with Max and Bina. Why was Billy torturing her like this?

In the mirror of the door she saw him lean forward. She felt his face beside hers. ‘Kate,' Billy whispered in her ear, ‘want to dance with me?' Without turning around, Kate shook her head. ‘Oh come on,' he said, the familiar coaxing tease in his voice. ‘You know you want to.'

Kate turned to look at him. They were face to face, an inch or two between them. She could feel the stream of air from his nose on her forehead.
She might not be able to have him, but for now she could have the same air he breathed inside her. Then he took her in his arms and held her to him. They began to move to the music, as close as two people with their clothes on could manage.

Kate was stiff at first but soon couldn't help but relax into his body. God, she missed his smell, his skin, his clean heat. This was breaking whatever was left of her heart but she couldn't help it: she moved her arms up so that they draped over his shoulders.

‘Kate,' Billy said, pulling back slightly, ‘tell me you missed me.'

‘Missed you?' Kate echoed. Could she – or should she – describe the ache and emptiness and regret she'd felt since …

‘Look, I don't know how the whole thing started, or whose idea it was, or whether it started as a joke,' Billy began, ‘but I heard about your proposal.'

She looked up at him. How did he know about Steven? She'd only told Elliot. But then, she reflected, he'd probably told Bina and she'd told … well, everybody. ‘It was ridiculous,' she said. ‘It had nothing to do with you.'

His shoulders, under her arms, shrugged. ‘Maybe yes, maybe no,' he told her. ‘You know what happens after you date “Dumping Billy”.'

‘Stop,' Kate told him. ‘I never dated you because of that. It's a stupid nickname.'

Billy shrugged again. ‘Everyone called me that. And everyone knew its truth but me.'

‘You don't think you've got some kind of … power, do you? I mean to get people married?'

Billy laughed. ‘Don't worry. I'm not delusional. At least not in that way. I watched as, one by one, all the guys I knew got married. And I wondered what was I waiting for? What was wrong with me?' He looked down at her. ‘I had a prolonged adolescence. And I knew how much my dad loved my mom. I … I had fun, but I didn't want to settle. You know what I mean?'

Kate nodded up at him.

‘You were different. You had the courage to leave, to raise yourself above what you came from. You, well, you're accomplished.' He paused. ‘And I probably shouldn't say this but I think we have a lot in common. I'm not saying I have your education or anything. But we both overcame a lot of early loss. You know what I mean?'

Kate nodded again, speechless, listening. His body against hers, moving to the music through the heat, felt like some kind of delicious dream. Kate didn't want to think of waking up.

‘I think people who haven't suffered, well, good for them, but they're different from those of us who have,' he said. ‘I don't know all the psychology, the way you do, but I know that people like us, we're always going to be scared that we're going to screw up, that we're going to make the wrong decision and wind up where we started. You know?'

Kate nodded. She knew too well. She felt her
heart begin to beat faster. Was it possible that he wasn't just forgiving her but … she couldn't think. The heat and her excitement seemed to close in on her.

‘I don't know why I had higher ambitions than the guys I know. Or why I went to France. I don't know why when I came back I wouldn't settle for a job working for someone else. Why I took over the bar and changed the clientele. I just wanted to be …' He paused. ‘It seemed like I wanted something more than Arnie and Johnnie did, not that …' He took a deep breath. ‘I mean, how do you pick a partner not just for a few months but for life?'

Kate nodded. Steven had done for months and so had Michael, but for life? How did one know?

Billy continued. ‘It's not like I'm a snob, or I look down on the guys I know or the women I dated. We had fun. When we broke up I didn't hurt them. I liked them.'

‘I know you didn't,' Kate said. ‘They all like you.'

‘Good. And it seemed to help them resolve things.' He smiled. ‘I mean they did all get married. My magic touch?'

Kate felt her face get hot again. ‘You know I never believed that nonsense …'

‘Until it happened to you …'

‘It didn't happen to me. I had known Steven for years. And I wasn't interested in him anymore.'

‘Really,' Billy said. And at that moment the band inside began to play the ‘Hokey Pokey'.

Kate pulled herself away from him to look. ‘How did you do that?' she asked.

Billy just looked at her and smiled. ‘Coincidence.'

Kate wouldn't accept that. Had he timed this all out? Did he know the band – he seemed to know everyone. She continued to stare at him. ‘How did you get them to play that just now?'

Billy shrugged. ‘Magic?'

Billy leaned forward and nuzzled her ear. ‘“You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out. You put your left foot in and you shake it all about,”' he murmured. ‘“You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around.”'

He swung Kate out, away from him but held her hand tightly. Then he pulled her back in to him, this time closer than ever. He stopped dancing and put his arms around her. He kissed her, and she let him. She kissed him back even if this was the last kiss he gave her, if he was about to disappear to punish her for her deceptions. ‘This is what it's all about, Kate,' he said. Tears came to her eyes. Billy kissed her again.

‘You're not angry at me?' she asked.

‘Well, of course I was angry with you. I was furious.' He paused. ‘You know how it is. The truth hurts. But I figured the entire thing out, and the parts I didn't know Barbie and Bev were happy to fill in.'

‘They were?'

‘Sure. And you know what the French say:
Tout comprendre c'est tout pardonner.
'

To understand all was to forgive all. Kate, for the first time, began to feel hope flood her. ‘But we, well, we tried to use you for Bina and I, well, I …' Kate looked at his clear eyes and felt a stab of grief as sharp as a staple gun to the heart. How could she have been a party to the whole ridiculous scheme? How could she have used him, loved him and lost him? ‘I didn't mean to hurt you, it was just …' Kate didn't get to finish. Billy put his hand over her mouth and then kissed her again.

Kate looked through the terrace door to see a large crowd of women gathering around a barely visible Bina and Max. She knew the couple planned an early escape to get the last-minute flight they'd booked for their honeymoon.

‘Kate,' Billy said, and she turned back to him. ‘I know I just own a bar in Brooklyn, that I'm not as educated as you are, but I can't stop thinking about you. From the first time I saw you I …' He was interrupted by a hubbub below them. The wedding crowd was pouring out of the front doors. Billy and Kate watched Max from above as he covered Bina's face. The two of them were pelted with confetti and flower petals. (Mrs Horowitz had not allowed rice. She said it was too dangerous and could put somebody's eye out.) The driver of the wedding limo was holding the door open, but the guests and family were shouting and blocking
the couple's way. Billy looked down and grinned. ‘Ah. The usual gauntlet.'

Kate watched her friend. Bina was laughing and struggling to get into the car. ‘Throw the bouquet! Don't forget the bouquet …' yelled Barbie.

Bina looked around wildly. ‘Where's Katie? Where's Katie?' She yelled back. ‘
She
has to catch it.'

Same old Bina, Kate thought. She knew she should be there but she couldn't tear herself away from Billy now.

‘Let's go, Bina,' Kate heard Max urge. ‘We'll miss the plane.'

‘Not until Katie gets my flowers,' Bina cried.

Meanwhile the crowd was turning into a mob. Arnie and Johnnie were ‘decorating' the limo with shaving cream and streamers. Mrs Horowitz was giving a bag – probably full of kugel – to the driver while Dr Horowitz tried to confiscate the aerosol cans.

‘Throw the bouquet! The bouquet!' Bev screamed.

‘Katie!' Bina shrieked. At that Max took the flowers from her hand. With all his strength he wound up to the pitch and tossed them in a wide arc, soaring into the blue, blue sky as all eyes followed them.

With a somewhat violent whoosh Bina's bridal bouquet hurtled through the air toward the terrace. Kate stepped back in time to avoid being seen by the crowd below. To her amazement, the bouquet fell with a splat at her feet. Startled, she
and Billy stared at it silently. She felt paralyzed with embarrassment and … fear. Her longing was almost too much to bear. Then Billy broke the moment by stooping gracefully, picking them up and offering the flowers to her. Kate accepted them as if in a dream. She stared down at the bouquet in her hands, then at Billy then back to the bouquet. She said a silent prayer that this moment wasn't just a coincidence. That it meant something real and lasting. She knew she was blushing, but she forced herself to look at Billy Nolan, even if it gave her away.

‘How did you manage that?' Billy asked. ‘Was it magic?'

Kate, no matter what the cost, nodded because it was.

‘Kate, will you marry me?' Billy asked.