Unworthy (7 page)

     “Well, Mr. Harding, we felt that there wasn’t enough money.”

     “Why would you think that? I assume you were looking at the same reports that are here.” They are all looking at one another and it is obvious that something is happening.

     “So would someone like to tell me about these discrepancies?” Again there’s a lot of eye-catching and you could cut the atmosphere with a knife.

     “I think you should all get out and I’ll look in to it myself.”  I watch them all stand from their chairs and make their way to leave the conference room. The beauty at the other end of the room watches as everyone begins to leave and looks at me watching her and I can see her gulp. She attempts to start to make herself get up from her seat and move away from me, but what I do next I can tell shocks her to the spot.

     “Except you, Miss Ford, I would like to speak with you.”

GRACE

He wants to speak to me.

Oh my God, why does he want to speak with me?

I can feel my heart begin to beat faster against my chest as my breathing comes in quicker than normal I try to answer my own question. I have only just managed to get myself to calm down from the events of the last week and now he is sending me back into my madness. I come to the conclusion that I won’t allow him to affect me, like my mother always told me there isn’t anything that the world will see in me so why am I letting myself fester about him. I am worthless and no good to anybody, but as I watch him I can’t help, but see how good he is on the female eye.

Oh God, what does he want..?

     I feel sick as the remaining members of staff leave the room, but not before they take a questioning look at me. I feel so ill, I want to be sick. When everyone has left and the door is closed Samuel looks at me and gives me a small smile. He pulls out the chair which is closer to him and looks towards me again.

     “Would you like to take a seat?” I take in a deep breath and begin to step towards him. The fingers of my left hand instantly go to my right wrist and I can instantly feel the pain and release as the band snaps back against my skin. It feels so good that I don’t even stop when I see that he is watching me do it. I don’t want to, but I need to and it’s been helping me for as long as I can remember. The more this man messes with my head the more I need to do it, more than normal even before I came to London.

Oh why am I such a bloody mess? As I take a seat next to him I can see he has a frown on his face as his eyes watch my fingers. All of a sudden I can feel the warmth of his hand as he places it over my right wrist, stopping me from doing my ritual. I can feel the rush of heat as he leaves his hand there and looks up into my eyes.

     “Please don’t do it.” And for some strange reason his request and touch don’t unnerve me as much as if someone else had uttered the same words or held my wrist. I don’t know what kind of power he holds over me, but as much as it scares me it doesn’t at the same time, and that’s what is unsettling me.

What is it with this man?  I don’t understand it.  Before I can think any more of it Samuel lets go of my hand and rests it on the table.

     “What do you think is going on?” he asks me.

     “Me…?” I take in a deep breath as I begin to run my fingers through each other.

     “You want to know what I think.”

     “Yes, considering you seem to spend more time here than anyone else.”

     “W…what?” How the hell does he know that, he’s only been here a week.

     “I’m one of the bosses, Grace, I have my ways. Since you started fall 2010 you have stayed late or started early almost every day. That doesn’t include the Saturdays you come in.” Oh God, he knows how sad my life is if I’m at work all the time.

     “What are you getting at, Samuel?”

     “I need your help. I have a proposition for you”

     He has a proposition for me. What could that mean? I can feel my heart flutter as I think of all the different types of propositions he could ask of me.  The thought of him ravishing my body till I scream enters my thoughts or of me on my knees sucking him dry. His cough brings me back to the room and I can see the knowing look in his eyes, the bastard knows what I was thinking and I instantly reach my fingers to the elastic band. What is wrong with me, it doesn’t matter how handsome he is and how his words affect me, this man is my bloody boss and nothing can happen. Look at him, Grace, for Christ’s sake he wouldn’t want you anyway, not the way your mind keeps going. Why does my mind keep going there, I don’t like sex, I’ve never held any interest in sex so why is now any different?  I need help, I need desperate help. I begin to shuffle in my chair as I take my annoying thoughts out on my wrist.

     “A..a proposition. What type of proposition?” I ask with a nervous laugh.

     “Not the type you were just thinking of, Miss Grace.” Oh gosh, the bastard knows. Please, floor, just swallow me whole and take me away from this madness before I embarrass myself further. He looks at me with a wicked smile and I know he is just sat there in his calmness looking like Mr. Devil-may-care, laughing his head off at me. Oh God, please just kill me now.

     “Relax, Grace.” And there’s that wicked smile again.

RELAX

     Relax? Is he having a bloody laugh? I’m sat here having naughty thoughts, thoughts I might add that I have never had thoughts of before, and now I am having them about my new boss and he’s telling me to relax. I feel so sick and I’m sure the walls are starting to close in around me, or they are just burning with an invisible fire because I am sure my senses and limbs are on fire taking me to an unknown hell. I have to go, I can’t stay here and make a further fool of myself as I’m sure I will if I stay here a second longer. With shaky legs I stand from my seat and make a dash to the door just as I say

     “I have to go”

SAMUEL

She left; she just got up and left me.

Again.

Man that woman is fucking annoying.

Number one NO woman has ever said no to me before.

And number two no woman has just left me standing like a dick before and she’s fucking done it to me on too many different occasions. I am beyond fucking frustrated at this female, but man I want to know what makes her tick. No-one ever says no to me and I always get my way, but this Grace, this fucking beautiful Grace Ford, comes into my life and turns my world upside down.  There’s a lot going on in that beautiful head of hers but, God, I want to find out what it is. I want to have her in my bed, but I want to get to know her too. Wow, that’s deep, especially for me. Samuel Harding never has thoughts like this, but there is something about that woman and she’s driving me insane.  I need a pill or something, anything to calm my body and my mind down. I have enough going on without adding a female to the mix. I meant what I said when I said I had a proposition for her, I do, a business proposition, but if her facial expressions were anything to go by she was thinking of other things, naughty things. I bet she could be naughty if she let her hair down. That’s right, sweet cheeks, just think what I could do to you, how good I can make you feel. Did I just call her sweet cheeks? Her cheeks do seem to glow while she smiles, sweet cheeks just seems fitting somehow and don’t even get me started on the rose color her cheeks go while she blushes. I could see the way she licked her lip and then bit them after I mentioned a proposition to her, her brain was thinking up the possibilities and I liked it. I liked it a lot because it meant that she was affected by me, perhaps I’m not the only one that has been losing their mind since the first time we met. I hope so or otherwise I really do need fucking help.  

CHAPTER SEVEN

GRACE

I get back to my desk and the longer I sit here the more difficult I find it to do any work.

What did he want to talk to me about?

Whatever it was I can be professional, I am professional, dammit. Just because he is beyond handsome and probably one of the richest men alive doesn’t mean it gives me the excuse to go all female on him and not be professional while we are both at work. He is here for the next two months for Christ’s sake, what am I going to do? Get up and leave every time he gets close to me? Of course not, they would fire me and then I would be screwed. I have a plan, just remember the plan, Grace. I won’t be able to prove my mother wrong and all those others back in Somerset if I don’t have my job. If I get sacked then I will be just like her and I am not like her, nothing like her. I keep repeating that mantra over and over again in my mind as I keep my fingers busy with my right wrist. I don’t know how long I just sit there but no-one bothers me as they walk past, no-one ever bothers me and I’m so used to it that it never really affects me any longer. Not like when I was a child, back then I would be in tears as all the other children would stay clear of me because I was the little girl who smelt bad and was always dirty.

     The window by my desk is closed due to the cold weather, but it doesn’t stop the sound of Big Ben telling the city it is midday. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I just love the noise that clock makes. Just then I feel a shadow stop in front of me and after what has happened in the conference room that morning I highly doubt I will see Samuel, but because someone up above doesn’t like me there stands Samuel. He actually looks pleased to see me, why is that? I give him a questioning look.

     “Would you join me for lunch, Grace?”

     “L…lu…lunch?”

     “Yes, please, considering we still need to talk.” His look turns into a boyish please don’t run off on me again and it is as if a part of the walls that I have drawn up around my heart melt away. Not many I must add, but it is enough for me to feel the warmth spread throughout my body. As if he is nervous he pulls out a shaky hand and all I can do is take hold of it.   

     “O...Ok.” I say as I begin to rise from my chair.

     “I’ll just go and get my coat and bag.”

     “I’ll wait here for you” I hear him say as I make my way over to the staff room. All the way there my nerves are coming in fast as I wonder what this can possibly be about. I put my coat on and start buttoning it up as I try to control the need to vomit.

     When I approach him he gives me a warm smile as he looks me up and down and I don’t know how he does it, but every time he does it’s like he’s trying to undress me with those damn eyes. It’s as if with every look he’s melting away my clothes and defenses, leaving me naked and vulnerable to his charm. I wish he wouldn’t do that because I really hate what lies beneath so he definitely would, I mean let’s think about it he’s probably only interested in skinny bitches. Did I just say that? I never use words like that and then I make the mistake of looking at him as he gestures me to follow him and my knees begin to wobble and I feel uneasy on my own legs.

     He takes me to a fancy restaurant just ten minutes down the road from where The Harding building is. It’s one of those restaurants where the likes of me wouldn’t be welcome.  Samuel opens the door for me as I step in and my breath is instantly stolen from me at the extravagance of the place. I know I don’t belong here and I stop dead in the middle of the entrance while I am sure that everyone is looking at me, tutting at the girl who is making a show of herself. Wow, I feel so embarrassed just standing here and then I am aware as Samuel stands by me and takes hold of my hand.

     “Are you OK, Grace?”  He’s looking at me with those beautiful grey eyes with such concern in them that it takes me a moment to find my bearings and answer him.

     “I should go.” I pull my hand away from his and attempt to turn around so I can leave, but Samuel stops me when he puts a hand on my left shoulder. As he does it I can feel the heat increase throughout my entire body, leaving me as a quivering wreck. I feel him lean into my body and gently begin to remove my coat as I feel his breath at my ear. A slight breeze is felt along the side of my neck, leaving goosebumps in its wake as he moves down, lightly blowing till he reaches the juncture where my shoulder meets my neck and I feel almost lightheaded.  

     “I want you here, Grace. I need you.”  He says, in just a whisper so only I can hear and I feel my heart begin to beat more rapidly.

     “You smell nice, Grace, your scent drives me wild.” Oh God, I think I am actually going to faint right here in this fancy restaurant, and before I can move away I feel his lips behind my ear where he gives a little suck at the sensitive skin. I’m aware of the cold air that attacks me as his warmth leaves me and I’ve only ever once felt such regret.

     “Come.” I take in deep breaths trying to control myself at his words as he yet again takes hold of my hand and leads me towards the staff desk.