Until Then (Cornerstone Book 2) (21 page)

She snuck quietly into the apartment. It was very late, and she knew Maggie was asleep. She felt sick for what she had done with Ben. When she thought about his hands on her, she thought she might be physically ill.
Oh, God, what have I done?

Her gut suddenly lurched, and she ran to the bathroom. The contents of her stomach emptied into the toilet. She tried to hurl as quietly as she could so she wouldn’t wake Maggie. Good thing Maggie usually slept like a rock.

When she finished, she lay on the cold bathroom floor and sobbed her heart out. Not only had she slept with her best friend’s fiancé, she had committed a sin, one that she swore she would never take part in again.

Lord, I’m the lowest of the low. I have no excuse for the disgusting person I am right now. How can I ever face Maggie again after what I’ve done? Please forgive me. I don’t deserve it, but, God, please forgive me.

Her stomach tightened again. She didn’t think anything was left in there. She was wrong.

Michelle could barely look at Maggie in the morning. She shuffled into the kitchen near noon with wet hair from her shower. Maggie was seated at the kitchen bar editing photos on her laptop.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” Maggie glanced over at the clock. “Well, almost afternoon now.”

Michelle nodded.

Maggie turned in her seat. “I’m really sorry, Michelle. I’m sorry I got so upset with you. I know you just want me to be happy. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how much I loved my bridal shower. I don’t like fighting with you, and I don’t wanna do it any more.”

Tears began to sting Michelle’s eyes as Maggie stood from the bar stool, walked over, and hugged her.

“I’m sorry if it was my fault that you ran out of here last night. I hope you can forgive me.”

Michelle pulled away and gave Maggie a weak smile. It was all the reply she could give at the moment. She walked to the refrigerator and opened the door just in time to hide the tears that slid down her cheeks.

“Where were you? I went to bed after midnight, and you weren’t back yet.”

Michelle brushed the tears away and grabbed the jug of milk. “I just needed to clear my head.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Maggie asked.

Michelle looked at her sweet roommate, who was completely oblivious to all that was going on around her and so blindly in love with the wrong guy. Her heart ached for Maggie, and she almost spilled the beans. She almost came right out with it. But she knew that if she told, she would lose Maggie’s friendship forever, and that scared her more than anything.

“I’m here for you if you need me. You know that, right?”

Michelle fought back tears again. She gave Maggie a nod, then turned to get a bowl of cereal, so she wouldn’t have to look into her friend’s kind, faithful eyes. The time would come in the very near future when the truth would be revealed, and Maggie would no longer be there for her. So she remained silent to delay the inevitable as long as possible.

The door opened, and in walked Ben with a smile on his face.

Maggie glanced up at him and smiled.

He walked over, put his arm around her, and kissed her forehead. “Good morning, Magnolia.”

Michelle cringed at the nickname Ben so often called Maggie.

“Morning. I’m almost finished,” Maggie explained.

Ben looked over his shoulder at Michelle, who glared at him.

He rolled his eyes, which infuriated her.

“What are your plans for today?” Michelle asked Maggie.

Maggie clicked twice, then closed the laptop. “We’re spending the day looking at houses.”

“Houses?” The question popped out of her mouth with surprise. “I thought you were renting an apartment.”

“We’re just looking,” Maggie replied with a happy grin. “But we need to find a place between here and Hastings, so I don’t have to travel so far to my shop every day.”

“A house, though?” Michelle was hit with a wave of nausea. “That’s a huge commitment.” She directed her last comment at Ben.

Maggie looked at her strangely. “So is marriage. We’re thinking about our future.” She laughed a little at Michelle as she gathered her purse, camera, and a folder with a realty company logo on the front. “I’ll take pictures and show you tonight.”

Ben took Maggie’s hand, and they walked out the door together, leaving Michelle crying into her Cocoa Puffs.

Michelle almost couldn’t bring herself to step foot in church that weekend, but she made herself go. She was sure Janice could tell exactly what she had done just by the look on her face. Maybe she shouldn’t have gone after all. She was a bundle of nerves sitting in the pew listening to the sermon.

“Asaph was a priest, who became envious of others and their prosperity, specifically nonbelievers. He saw the way they thrived, their many belongings, the way situations always seemed to go their way, and he was jealous. He saw believers as the ones who constantly struggled in life, and his faith began to falter.”

Michelle felt like the entire message was pointed directly at her. The sermon focused heavily on envy, how it distorts thinking and turns things dark and twisted. She was extremely uncomfortable as she listened to the pastor talk about not letting jealousy get into your heart, because it makes people do things they wouldn’t normally do.

Her mind flashed to the other night on Ben’s couch, and her stomach clenched.

“Asaph sensed something was wrong inside him, so he went to the sanctuary. He didn’t want to. He was weak in his faith, but he made himself go to the place of worship anyway.” Pastor stepped from behind the podium and stood on the edge of the steps. “So many times when a believer is dealing with a crisis of faith, they step away from the church, when church is exactly the place they need to be to get through it. I encourage you to seek out a pastor or a spiritual friend or a mentor to help if any of you are going through such a crisis right now.”

Michelle glanced over at Janice, her dear friend. She just couldn’t do it. She couldn’t tell Janice what she had done.

Pastor concluded the sermon with the rest of Asaph’s story. “Asaph realized he had been mistaken, that he was the one who truly had everything because of God’s goodness and grace. His crisis of faith was over. He had learned his lesson, and he was more committed to God than ever.”

Psalm 73:26, an important verse from Asaph's story, displayed on the large screen at the front of the church. “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

Michelle’s throat began to tighten, and she knew she was about to lose it. She had failed God big time. The shame and conviction poured over her.

“I have to go,” she whispered to Janice, and she raced out during the closing songs. She couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

13

“I’m telling her tonight.” Michelle spoke sternly into the phone.

A month had passed since her indiscretion with Ben, and he continued to make excuse after excuse to avoid ending things with Maggie.

“Just give me a little more time,” he begged.

“You’re
out
of time. She finished addressing the wedding invitations today.”

He groaned.

Michelle had to stop this wedding, but she was terrified of the moment when everything would be out in the open. Not only because of what Maggie would think of her, but also what Simon would think.

“Ben? Did you hear me?”

“Fine! I’ll do it!” There was a long pause. “She’ll never forgive you for this, ya’ know?”

Michelle knew. “I don’t care. I love her, and I’m not letting you ruin her life.”

He hung up on her.

Michelle paced the apartment all evening long. She declined Simon’s invitation to go to a movie, so she would be there when Maggie returned. It wouldn’t be pretty, but she knew she had to face the music.

The second hand on the clock ticked by slower than molasses. Cleaning the kitchen didn’t make the time move any faster. Clicking through the television channels only agitated her. The apartment was a little dusty, so she went to work on that.

While dusting the bookcase, she noticed the dating book Maggie had given her. She pulled it from the shelf and sat down on the couch, flipping open the cover. The first page had Maggie’s name written on it with doodles in the corners. She flipped through the pages and read some of Maggie’s original notes. One thing she had jotted in a margin was “God loves me more than any man ever will. HE is all I need.” She prayed Maggie would remember it and hold onto that truth in the days ahead.

The minutes crawled by. Eleven o’clock. Twelve o’clock. One o’clock.
Where is she?

At one-thirty in the morning, the telephone rang, and she sprang from where she had fallen asleep on the couch.

“Hello?”

“It’s done.” Ben stated, then abruptly hung up.

Patty James called in the morning to let Michelle know about the breakup and that Maggie would be staying with them for a few days. After what she had done, she was surprised to get the call. She didn’t think Maggie would ever speak to her again, let alone care whether or not she knew about the breakup.