Unthinkable (Berger Series) (7 page)

Evan scrambled to his feet and stumbled back to the road. He looked down one way and then the other. The truck had vanished. It was nearly daylight now. Evan grabbed his hair and walked circles in the road. There was no sign of Yoshi. Yoshi was gone. He cursed himself for trusting Damien and losing Yoshi in the process. Yoshi had tried to warn him, why hadn’t he listened? More important was the question: What to do now? What to do?

Evan stopped and looked around, breathing hard. The sun was rising over the horizon. Already it was promising to be another hot day. He dropped his hands and looked as far as he could down the road in either direction. He looked to the sun again. With a sigh he picked the more easterly direction and started walking. Evan decided he’d walk east for a day and hope he’d find Yoshi. If he didn’t, then he’ turn around and walk west. If he had to he’d walk to Wyoming on his own. If nothing else, surely Yoshi would meet him there.

Evan walked half-blindly all day long. Sweat soaked through his torn clothes. Every muscle ached. He passed a farmhouse, and then another, but paid them no more than a passing glance. No one stirred from the houses. The only living thing he saw was a single cow, gazing near the road a few yards from a house. Evan and the cow ignored each other. A slightly cooler breeze came up toward the end of the day. Evan stumbled and nearly fell. He was parched and dizzy. Stumbling off the road he found a pool of muddy water. He took a few handfuls. Then he walked to the cornfield and ripped off an ear. He tore it open to find it not fully ripe. It wasn’t filling, but it was food. He reached in his pocket, pulled out the note from Katie Jasper and reread it. Well he’d lost Yoshi now, so what was the point. He considered just throwing the note away, but stuck it back in his pocket again. Shaking his head he
lay down just inside the cornfield and immediately fell asleep.

Evan tossed through the night. Bad dreams haunted him; nothing specific, just the feeling of someone chasing him and danger and dark shadows threatening to overwhelm. He woke with a start sometime in the night, the dreams receding. He felt as exhausted as if he hadn’t slept at all. He rolled over to see what Yoshi was doing and remembered with a rush. Evan stood, stumbled out of the field and back onto the road. He looked up and saw the moon and stars and again felt tears threatening. He shook his head to push them away and looked up at the sky.

No. No tears. “Evan Berger is on his own,” Evan said aloud, his voice sounding strange in his ears. Yoshi was gone. Time for plan B-go to Wyoming on his own and hope that Yoshi would meet him there. Evan remembered the gunshot and said a silent prayer that Yoshi was still alive. He looked down the road, then up at the sky and decided he needed to sleep more if he could.

Just after dawn Evan woke again, still exhausted. Without hesitation he started walking west again. The day was hotter and more humid then before. This time it seemed the cow had wisely taken shelter as he passed that farm. As it reached afternoon Evan started getting dizzy and realized that if he didn’t find shelter soon he’d probably give himself heat stroke. He lay down just inside the cornfield on the hard ground and closed his eyes.

When Evan woke he ate another not ripe ear of corn and wished for water. This time there was no sign of any in the ditches. He started walking again, but the heat and humidity were just too much. He spotted a filthy puddle of water and fell to his knees, not caring how bad it probably was as he slurped it up. He crawled back into the shade of the field and passed out again.

When Evan woke this time it was nearly evening. He lay there, smelling the earth around him and the faint smell of manure. How easy it would be to just give up, to stay here until he died of thirst. A random song he’d never liked played in his head.  As Evan closed his eyes again he could hear Yoshi’s voice in the back of his mind. Yoshi wouldn’t give up. Evan remembered a time when they had gotten lost on a hike. He hadn’t known what to do without a trail to follow. Yoshi heard the sound of running water and led them down to a creek. They‘d followed it downstream and in an hour or so they’d found the trail again. Yoshi always knew what to do and never failed to do it. Evan painfully hauled himself to his feet to get a few more miles under his fraying shoes.

The road seemed endless. One foot in front of the other one as Evan passed the same fields, the same roads. Only the falling sun provided any sense of change. The sun set brilliant in front of him, but Evan kept walking. The moon began to rise and still he kept on. Step after step. Evan felt nothing, thought nothing as his feet moved of their own volition. At last he found himself still walking, but nodding off. Wearily he forced himself onto the side of the road and collapsed, too tired to go any further.

Chapter 6

Evan grabbed the arm shaking him awake. Before his eyes were fully open he yanked and tripped the person. By the time he was awake he was on top, arm reared back to punch. Damien looked up at him, a faint smile on his face. Evan hesitated,
then jumped to his feet. “I don’t know why I didn’t clock you, you bastard,” he said, shaking.

“You okay?”
Asked Damien, climbing to his feet.

“Why the hell do you care?” Evan turned away.

“It wasn’t my fault,”

“You knew what would happen. Hell I should have known the minute that guy threw me…”

“Evan…” Damien walked towards him.

“I trusted you!” Evan shouted and started walking down the road.

“That’s the way you came from,” said Damien mildly.

Evan glared at Damien, turned and started walking the other way. He stopped after a few paces and faced Damien. “Why the hell should I believe you now? I’ll just have to wait for dawn.” Evan peered up at the starry sky,
then crossed to the other side of the road. His knees buckled and he nearly fell. Struggling, he found his feet again.

“It ain’t my fault,” said Damien again, staying where he was. “They wanted your supplies, I guess.
I didn’t know nothin’ until I woke up the next morning. Andy tried to say ya’ll had left, but I knew better. ‘Sides, he had that pistol of yours.”

Evan broke off another ear of corn and stumbled to a seat, tearing it open ferociously.

“Evan?” Damien took a concerned step towards him.

Evan munched on his raw corn and stared down the road. Damien threw a bottle that skittered most of the way across the road. Evan glanced over and saw it was water. Without thinking he scrambled for it and started chugging.

“Slow down or you’ll make yourself sick,” cautioned Damien.

Evan forced himself to stop. His stomach churned in protest. Closing his eyes he tried to force his body to accept what it had been given. Evan sat down hard on the road. “Why are you doing this?” he asked after a few minutes. “How did you find me? Where’s Yoshi?”

“I’m from North Carolina,” said Damien slowly, crouching to look Evan in the eyes.

“What?”

“You asked where I was from. I was born in North Carolina.”

Evan clutched the bottle of water to his chest and met Damien’s eyes. “Why are you doing this?”

“You do need a sitter. You especially don’t know jack about surviving out here. Be dead inside a week without help. And it was my fault you was in that town at all.” Damien looked down at his hands.

“I’d have been dead already if it wasn’t for Yoshi,” Evan looked down the road. “I was in St. Louis. He got a call from his brother and told me to leave. I thought maybe it was a joke or something…it wasn’t.”

“Ya’ll are close?” asked Damien.

“Yeah.”
Evan took a breath. “Where is he?”

“Andy didn’t say
nothing ‘cept that you two were gone. I caught a ride with a farmer out of town and hoped I’d find you.”

Evan opened the bottle of water again. He forced himself to drink slowly and screwed the cap back on.  He climbed back to his feet and walked back across to
Damien. Damien stood up as he approached. “How can I trust you?” asked Evan.

“You can’t,” said Damien, looking him in the eyes.

Evan nodded and turned away. “I have no chance to find Yoshi. I don’t know this area and I’ve walked a day already. I heard a gunshot so for all I know he’s dead. I’m still going to Wyoming. If he’s not dead he’ll meet me there. Don’t know what’ll happen on the way but it’s the best chance I’ve got.”

“I’d like to come with you,” offered Damien.

Evan turned and studied Damien in the moonlight. His mind raced along a thousand different paths. Down most of those paths was death. He shrugged and crossed back across the road. “If you want to tag along with me, I can’t stop you,” he said lying down to sleep again.

Evan cried out as he saw Yoshi, dead, a bullet in his brain on the side of the road. He clawed his way out of the blood soaked nightmare. His eyes flew open and there was Damien, shaking him. Evan sat bolt upright, shaking Damien off. Damien rocked back on his heels watching him tremble as he wiped the remnants of sleep from his eyes.

“You were having a nightmare,” said Damien.

“I know I was having a fucking nightmare,” spat Evan.

“Here,” Damien offered his flask. Evan looked at Damien, then the flask, and took it. The alcohol burned and the trembling slowed. “
Wanna talk about it?” asked Damien.

“Why the
fuck do you care?” Evan climbed unsteadily to his feet. He took another swig from the flask and pushed it back at Damien. He turned away and threw up, dropping to his hands and knees.

Damien rummaged in his pack. “Here man,” He handed Evan a pink bottle. Evan took a drink and handed it back. He wiped his mouth and crawled away from the mess he’d just made. “You need to eat something,” said
Damien, rummaging in his pack again. He pulled out a sheaf of crackers and handed it over. Evan took it.

“Yoshi’s dead,” Evan said as he pulled open the crackers.

“What?”

“That’s what the dream was. Yoshi’s dead.” Evan jammed crackers into his mouth.

“Evan, just ‘cause you dream something don’t make it true.”

“Do you know any different?” asked Evan. He didn’t even taste the crackers, but they stayed down.

“If they was going to kill someone, wouldn’t it have been you?”

“Yoshi’s a fighter. He got it worse the first town we were in. I’m just…weak.”

“You’re not weak. If you was weak you’d be dead already.”

Evan shrugged and worked on the crackers. Damien shook his head and closed his pack back up. Evan looked up at him as he walked back to the other side of the road. “Damien?” he said.

“Yeah?” he turned back towards Evan.

“Thanks,” Evan raised the crackers.

Damien nodded and settled back down. “Try and get a little more sleep,” he said. “I’m sure you’ll want to get walking in the morning.”

Evan twisted the bag of crackers closed and took a slow drink of water.  He lay down again and closed his eyes, praying for peaceful dreams. Then he prayed that maybe somewhere, somehow Yoshi was alive after all.

Damien shook him awake before dawn. Evan felt much better than he had just a few hours before. He drank some more water and finished the crackers while Damien ate a toaster pastry. When they had both finished their meager breakfasts they started walking. Damien walked a little ahead and to the side of Evan as they went, but he was very careful not to go too fast. As they walked, Evan realized that he wanted to believe that Damien was innocent in everything, but how could it be possible? Could Damien really not have had anything to do with it? But then again, Damien could have just left him to die. He didn’t have to give Evan crackers or water or anything else. Evan wondered if he was being crazy just walking with him.

As the sun started to rise, Damien stopped, dug through his pack and pulled out a ratty hat. “Here, you don’t need worse sunstroke,” he said as he handed it to Evan. Evan took it, feeling silly as he put it on. But, Damien was right. They walked on through the morning.

Damien stopped mid-day and sat down in the shade of the cornfield. Evan stumbled to seat next to him. He took a drink of water. Damien pulled an MRE out of his pack, cracked it open and shared it with Evan. Evan felt stronger with the food in him.

“
Yoshi’ll be fine,” said Damien. “He’s a tough hombre.”

“I hope so, I really do. I just don’t know,” Evan sighed, remembering the dream. Damien pulled a crushed pack of cigarettes from his pocket and fished one out.

“Can I try one of those,” asked Evan.

“Nope, you don’t need it,” said Damien as he lit up.

Evan sighed and looked down the road. “How do you know how tough Yoshi is?”

“I can tell,” said Damien, “he sure didn’t hesitate with the old man.”

“Yeah, but how do you know you didn’t shoot him?” asked Evan.

“I aimed high. You didn’t see my bullet, did you?
”.

“Yoshi shot him?”

“Yep.” Damien took a long drag.

Evan shook his head, trying to remember. There had been only one bullet wound. But would Yoshi really kill? Yes. Evan knew the answer even as he asked himself. To protect Evan he would. “Why the hell do I deserve that
kind of loyalty?” he asked out loud.

“I can’t say what makes a guy act the way he does. Ya’ll are as tight as brothers.” Damien watched Evan as he smoked.

“We’ve been friends since college,” said Evan. “Do you have any brothers?”

“I used to have one I was close to.
Ain’t seen him in ten years though.” Damien looked at the road.

“I’m an only child. Yoshi had a couple brothers older than him. One died years ago, the other one,
Ryan, he’s why we got out of the city. Called Yoshi and warned him.” He tried not to think about how Ryan and his family were probably dead now too.

“Family can be a good or bad. Sometimes the family that ain’t blood can be better than the family that is.” Damien crushed the butt against the bottom of his shoe. “You might as well take a nap. No point in moving on until the day gets cooler.”

Evan nodded. His stomach rumbled, but he ignored it and curled up in the shade, thinking of Yoshi. Yoshi would kill for him; would he kill for Yoshi? Evan couldn’t answer that. Did that mean he wouldn’t?

Eventually he woke from a sleep mercifully free of dreams, yawning and stretching as he sat up. Damien was curled around his pack, still asleep, a few feet away. Evan stood up and walked to the road. A warm breeze rustled the cornfield. It was strange to not knowing where Yoshi was. In the last few years he’d gotten used to Yoshi being a couple of states away. But even with all the miles it had never seemed like Yoshi was really that far, between the internet and phone calls. Even when Yoshi had dropped out of college they’d stayed close.

Evan shook his head. Yoshi wasn’t here now. There was a chance he never would be again. The thought made his stomach twist. He shoved his hand in his pocket and wrapped his hand around the note. Yoshi wouldn’t give up on him, he knew that. But still, there was that dream. Evan closed his eyes and could see the image as clear in his head as he had when he first dreamed it. Was it a sign, or just a fear?

Evan walked over and shook Damien awake. He stretched like a cat as he stood up and collected his bag. He adjusted the gun on his waistband. Evan felt suddenly vulnerable without a weapon. He turned away before Damien could see the look on his face and started walking.

They kept walking through the sunset and after dark. A farmhouse came and went, but they ignored it. Evan grew tired, but Damien kept pressing on. Finally they topped a hill and in the moonlight Evan saw a small pond at the bottom of the hill. Damien headed straight for it, climbing over a rickety wooden fence. Evan felt like a trespasser, but then remembered that didn’t matter now. Damien led them into the trees surrounding the pond

Evan sat down heavily, feeling the exhaustion. Damien cleared a space on the ground and built a small fire. Evan watched him, trying to learn. His eyes were heavy though and he slipped into fitful sleep.

Evan awoke with a start to the smell of food. A can of chili lay by his head, but Damien seemed to have disappeared. Evan sat up and ate, staring into the small fire. Footsteps spun him around. It was Damien, carrying a small pot of water. He set it on the fire. “Whatcha doing?” asked Evan as he tried to calm his heart.

“Boiling water.
You don’t want to drink anything straight from anywhere unless you have to. ‘cept maybe a well.”

Evan nodded and watched. “You’ve been out here like this a long time, haven’t you?”

“Yeah. Ten years, more or less.”

“Ten years,” Evan said, incredulous, “you can’t be that much older than me.”

“I left home at fourteen.” Damien shifted the pot and didn’t look up.

“I’m sorry,” said Evan, feeling guilty for his
comfortable life.

“Not
yer fault. Some of us just draw the short stick.”  Damien looked over at Evan.

“I was adopted. So I don’t know what it would have been like if I wasn’t.”

“Luck,” Damien smiled. “Some folks have it, some folks don’t.”

“I don’t think I’d call what’s happened the last couple of weeks ‘luck’,” said Evan, shaking his head.

“You ain’t dead, yet,” observed Damien.

“True.” Evan looked into the fire. “Anything I can do to help?”

“They say a watched pot don’t boil, so I’d say no.”

“Okay,” said Evan, “I’m just going to take a little walk.”

Damien watched as Evan stood and stretched. He started to pull his gun out of his waistband, but Evan shook his head. Damien nodded and went back to his pot and the fire.

Evan walked down to the edge of the water. The skies were still clear. He picked up a rock, threw it into the pond and watched the ripples. He thought about ripples and the way one thing affects another. Evan shook his head. Everything happens for a reason. Mom taught him that. Even passing strangers could affect you in ways you’d never know or understand.