Unresolved Issues (5 page)
Authors: Wanda B. Campbell
Chapter 9
Staci stretched and looked up at the ceiling. The florescent lights quickly reminded her that the nightmare was indeed real. Derrick had left her. She crawled to her bed and used it to support her weight as she tried to stand. She was too weak and collapsed on the bed.
“Why, God?” she asked with a new batch of tears. “I did everything I knew to do. How could he just leave?” When the silence didn't answer, she turned over and bawled some more.
Her cell phone rang, and she jumped up and ran to the dresser to answer it. She didn't check the caller ID, believing it was Derrick, saying he'd made a mistake and was on his way home.
“Derrick!” she yelled into the phone.
“No. Where are you?” It was Marcus. What was left of Staci's heart sank. “Staci, did you forget the meeting with the attorneys?”
Staci looked at the clock on her nightstand. It was four o'clock. She must have stayed on the floor for two hours. “I'm sorry,” she said between sobs. “I'm at home. I can't make it.”
“Staci, what's wrong?”
She couldn't answer him.
“Staci,” he yelled into the phone. She still didn't answer. The line went dead.
She summoned the strength to clean her face and went downstairs and unlocked the front door. It didn't take a genius to know Marcus was on his way over, and probably with her younger brother, Craig. The two had always been very protective of her.
The sunken living room was one of Staci's favorite places, with the marble fireplace and hardwood floor. The sage walls usually gave the room a warm, cozy feel, but now the room felt cold and hollow, like she felt. Derrick's leaving had left her empty of more than his company. She'd become accustomed to not having his company, but he took her heart with him this time.
She walked into the kitchen, the same kitchen he'd promised to make her dinner in just hours before. Although she skipped lunch, she wasn't hungry. She made a cup of chamomile tea. She needed something to help her stop trembling. She was halfway through the first cup when Marcus and Craig walked into the kitchen.
“Staci, what's going on?” Craig asked, noticing her red, puffy eyes.
Marcus walked from the kitchen into the living room and back. “Where's Derrick?”
“He's gone,” she whispered.
“Gone where?” Marcus pressed.
“I don't know, but he's not here. He's gone.” When Staci broke down, Craig put his arm around her.
Marcus sat down at the table. “Tell me what happened.”
It took her awhile, but Staci finally shared with her brothers how her husband had walked out on her. She couldn't bring herself to tell them that her husband didn't want her anymore. She just shared that he needed some time.
Part of Staci was glad Derrick was not there. Despite his smaller size, Marcus would have attacked him. Derrick was his boy. Since the day he married Staci, Marcus considered and treated Derrick like a brother. They shared a bond, but that wouldn't prevent Marcus from physically harming him for hurting his only sister.
As if reading his thoughts Staci said, “Marcus, please stay out of this,” then turned to Craig. “Promise me you guys won't jump Derrick or vandalize his vehicle.” That's exactly what they had done in their younger days when a guy disrespected their sister.
“Okay, but I might douse him with gasoline and strike a match,” Craig answered seriously. “He's not so big that he can't be taken down.”
“Please, this is hard enough to deal with.” Inwardly, Staci hoped this was all temporary. Derrick said he needed space. Maybe after a couple of nights away, he would come back.
This time Marcus read her thoughts. “Maybe this separation is only temporary. I know he loves you.”
Staci couldn't tell her brother that she didn't know if Derrick still loved her or not. She hadn't heard or felt those words in months. “Maybe.” Her faint smile didn't hold much expectation.
Before Marcus and Craig left, they made her call their parents and tell them what was going on. “You should talk to Mom,” Craig told her. Staci agreed. She could use the comfort of her mother, but what she really wanted was the arms of the first man she ever loved, her father. She needed him to hold her and tell her she was beautiful and make her feel special again.
After telling Carey what happened, there was a long silence on the phone. Unlike her brothers, her father grew quiet when angry. She could imagine his fair skin turning a shade of red. It was only after Derrick promised her father he would love his daughter and give her at least the same care and respect Mr. Simone had given her, did Carey give his blessing on their marriage. Carey recognized Derrick's issues and had voiced his concern, but he also knew his love for Staci was genuine. Carey treated Derrick like a son. He boasted about Derrick's success just as much as he did Marcus's and Craig's. Now, Derrick had disappointed him by leaving his baby girl alone and unprotected. Staci could tell from her father's grunts that he would deal with her husband man to man, real soon.
“Baby girl, why don't you come home for a few days?” her father suggested.
Tears rolled down her cheeks. She loved her daddy for always wanting to protect her. “I would, Daddy, but I have a lot of work to do with this expansion.” She really wanted to stay around just in case Derrick returned.
“Derrick will know where to find you,” her father responded.
“I think you should spend some time with Mom.” Marcus's opinion confirmed her father's suggestion.
“Besides,” Carey continued, “Marcus is the CEO. He's home now. Let him run his own company for a few days.”
Her father was right. If Derrick did have a change of heart, the first place he would check would be her parents. And Staci really didn't want to stay in that big house all alone. The six-bedroom house wasn't meant to be lived in alone.
“I'll see you in a little bit.” After her brothers left, Staci went upstairs to pack, all the while praying Derrick would come back or at least call. An hour later and without any word from him, she set the alarm, locked the house, then left.
Chapter 10
Staci pulled into her parent's estate and found her father waiting outside in the circular driveway for her. Fresh tears threatened to fall. Carey Simone was her hero, always there to rescue her. Before Staci turned the engine off, he was at the car door waiting to open it for her.
“Everything is going to be fine, baby girl,” he said as he held her in his strong arms after she stepped from the car.
She buried her face in his shirt. “Promise, Daddy?”
“I promise. With God's help, you'll make it through this, and you'll be stronger because of it,” Carey answered, then led his only daughter into the house.
Staci followed the onion and celery aroma into the kitchen where Alaina stood preparing homemade chicken soup. As far back as Staci could remember, Alaina used the soup to soothe any pain. “Hi, Mommy.”
Alaina laid the ladle on the spoon rest and welcomed her daughter into her arms. There was something about Alaina's mothering arms that made Staci want to cry all over again and have her mother wipe her tears, but Staci didn't cry because that would have made Alaina cry too. It had always been that way. If Staci cried, Alaina cried.
“Why don't you go upstairs to your old room and take a hot bath. You'll feel better after some aromatherapy. I'll bring you some soup later.”
“Thanks, Mommy.” Staci slowly walked down the hall and up the winding staircase to the room she once called hers. Carey followed close behind with her suitcase.
“Remember, baby girl, everything is going to work out,” Carey said before leaving after placing her bag on the queen-sized bed. Staci wished she shared her father's confidence. She wondered what the words,
everything will work out
, really meant. Did it mean everything would work out with Derrick, or did it mean without him?
everything will work out
, really meant. Did it mean everything would work out with Derrick, or did it mean without him?
“Thank you, Mommy,” Staci whispered after she closed the door to her former room. Her mother had thought of everything. Aromatherapy candles burned and soft music floated from the CD player. Inside the bathroom was an assortment of bath oils and salts and, of course, a pack of Handi Wipes. For as far back as Staci could remember, Alaina always kept a pack of Handi Wipes with her for everything from dirty hands to public restrooms.
While hot foam filled the tub, Staci slowly undressed. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and nearly tripped and hit her head.
“Oh my God!” she said as she took in her reflection. Her eyes were red and swollen. Brown streaks stained her face from the many tears she'd shed. Her lips looked ashy, and her shoulder-length hair was twisted into what looked like a knot. Good thing she had the hair texture that would soften in water, making it easier to comb through.
Once in the tub, the hot water and fragrant smells did wonders for Staci's stiff muscles but didn't touch her broken heart.
“God, what did I do wrong? Why did he leave? I did everything I was taught to do. The only thing I didn't do was carry his seed. Maybe that's the problem. Did he leave me because I didn't get pregnant? That must be it, because I haven't gained weight or let myself go.”
The unanswered questions hung in the air as Staci tried to rationalize why her husband had walked out on her.
“God, I know you forgave me for fornicating and for having an abortion. So why I am going through this?”
“Because you didn't listen to wise counsel
,” a still voice whispered back.
,” a still voice whispered back.
Staci's mind immediately went back to the conversation she'd had with her mother a month before her wedding.
“Staci, I'm not saying Derrick isn't the one God has for you. All I'm saying is wait until the time is right. Let him work through his insecurities first.”
“Mama, I love Derrick, and he loves me. That's enough to handle every problem we may have.”
Alaina tried a different approach. “Staci, I know you're afraid of losing him again, but you can't rush into marrying him. Don't overlook his problems. Allow him time to work through them. If you don't, you're going to add to the trials you're already going to have.”
“I hear what you're saying, Mama, but I know what I'm doing.”
“No, you don't. You don't really understand how deep not having a father has affected him. I see it every time he's around your father and brothers. He works extra hard to be accepted by them when he doesn't have to.”
There was some validity to her mother's words, but Staci didn't want to wait. She was afraid of losing him again.
“Mama, I can help him face his issues. I canâ”
Alaina's voice, filled with frustration, cut her off. “Stacelyn, you can't help Derrick face anything he's not willing to face on his own.”
In hindsight, Staci wished her mother had locked her in the basement to keep her from marrying Derrick. If she had, she wouldn't be going through this heartache now. Staci recognized early in their relationship that Derrick was insecure. He didn't express his feelings for her until after Staci expressed hers. Then periodically, Derrick would ask her if she was sure she really loved him. Then he would ask why she loved him. If he brought her a gift, he would ask her repeatedly if she liked it. And after they agreed to commit fornication, she had to constantly reassure him she enjoyed being intimate with him. Then when she had the abortion, he told her he felt like she had rejected him.
That was then. Since marrying him, Staci did everything a good wife was expected to do. At times when he didn't meet her expectations, she still catered to him. When she knew the only reason he desired to make love to her was to impregnate her, she submitted to his demands without mumbling a word. No matter how inconsiderate he was in bed, she never used a headache as an excuse.
Staci closed her eyes and squeezed the sponge on her face just as Alaina knocked on the bathroom door.
“Can I come in?” Alaina asked.
“Sure. I was just about to get out.”
Alaina handed Staci a towel after entering the bathroom. As Staci dried herself, Alaina picked up her dirty clothes. She made an attempt to lighten the mood. “You're almost thirty years old, and I'm still picking up your clothes.”
“I don't know why you're complaining. You know you love looking after your only daughter.” Staci smiled slightly. She figured her mother had really come in there to make sure she didn't drown herself. “I know I looked and felt a mess when Daddy brought me inside. I feel a little better now, but I have a long way to go.”
“You probably don't want to eat, but I brought you some soup.”
As she tied the belt to her robe, Staci's eyes glanced at the clock above the sink. It was eight o'clock and still no word from Derrick. She wondered where he was and what he was having for dinner. Staci tried to contain her emotions, but couldn't. When she slumped over the sink, Alaina put her arms around her and led her to the bed.
“Mama, this hurts so much,” Staci cried.
“I know it does, baby.”
“Mommy, make it stop hurting, please. Make today go away. Please bring my husband back.”
Alaina held her tightly. “Baby, the only one who can fix this is God,” she answered and wiped away tears of her own. “Let's talk to Him about it.” Alaina closed her eyes and bowed her head. “Heavenly Father, I ask that you comfort my baby right now. Let your love consume her and overtake her. Give her your perfect peace and understanding. Help her to lean on you for strength and not faint. Lord, turn this pain into ministry.
“God, I ask that you help Derrick and heal him of his past hurts. Help him to see that you did not make a mistake when you created him. Help him to see that you love him and that Staci loves him and that we love him. Help him to realize that he can't make it without you. Lord, turn his heart back toward you, then back toward his wife . . .” Alaina prayed and prayed until Staci fell asleep in her arms.
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