Unraveled (11 page)

Eventually,
we take a break and Noah puts together some cold cut sandwiches and we eat at
the island counter. He sits next to me and we eat in silence until I rise to my
feet and put my plate in the dishwasher.

I turn back
to find that Noah is watching me from where he sits. “What?”

“How is the
pain today?”

I sigh and
pain tugs at my ribs but I'm used to it by now. “I'll survive.”

He rises to
his feet and picks up his plate. “I was thinking you need a break from your
homework,” he says before he walks to the already open dishwasher and slips his
plate in an open slot.

Once he's
looking back at me, I look at him curiously. “What do you suggest?”

“Ever play
video games?”

“Video
games,” I repeat slowly. “No, can't say I have.”

He grins
playfully. “Let me show you what you've been missing,” he says as he slips an
arm around me and leads me to the living room. I'm curious and Noah's light
mood is rubbing off on me. I sit down on the couch and watch as Noah readies a
game and then brings back a couple gaming controllers before sitting down next
to me. “What do you think of zombies?” he asks as he watches my mouth to read
my lips.

“Zombies?” I
ask with a laugh. “I don't know, I've never met one.”

“You ever
watch
The Walking Dead
?”

“The what?”

He shakes
his head at me, amusement flashing in his brown gaze. “You have a lot of
catching up to do. Maybe this weekend we can watch re-runs on Netflix if you're
in the mood.”

I like that
he's so willing to spend time with me and already planning on being around this
weekend. “Okay, I'd like that,” I say lightly.

“Back to
business. We're going to kill zombies tonight and that's all that you need to
be thinking about. Shut your mind off to everything else,” he orders as he
hands me a controller and proceeds to explain what each button does.

I study the
controller and then look up to see he's watching me. “So, do I get anything if
I kill more zombies than you?” I muse.

“Possibly.
What do you want?” he asks as he watches my lips intently.

“What will
you give me?”

His eyes
widen slightly and then his eyes lift to mine. “What are we talking about
here?”

“Not what
you're thinking.” My mind is right along with his though and it is totally in the
gutter. If I were anybody else, I'd probably be using this game to get closer
to him. But I'm not and my life is beyond wrecked at this point.

“Damn,” he
says, shaking his head with mock disappointment.

I find
myself laughing and I fight back a wince as my ribs protest the movement.
“Okay, seriously, what would you be willing to do for me if I beat you?”

Noah turns
serious now as he thinks it over before answering. “If you win, I'll take you
out next Friday. It's not a date,” he clarifies. “We'll do whatever you want.
Your choice.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” I
say slowly. “You're on. What if you win?”

His grin
widens. “I still take you out on Friday, but it'll be my choice what we do.”

“Hmm. So
tempting,” I say with a laugh. It was a win-win either way.

When I wake
up sometime later, I find that I am laying across the couch and my head is on a
pillow that happens to be resting on Noah's lap. I don't remember getting tired
but I must have since I'd clearly just woken up. The living room light is still
on and I see that Noah is watching TV instead of playing video games. His
attention is focused intently on the TV and I can tell he's reading the
captions or reading lips.

I wonder
what life is like being deaf. It had to have been hard for him to adjust in the
beginning but the man that sits before me today makes it look easy, like it
wasn't a big deal. As I stare at him, I realize he is seriously hot. How could
he not have a girlfriend? I bet he gets hit on a lot. What I can't understand
is what he sees in me. I'm younger than the girls he probably dates and other
than my looks, I have absolutely nothing to offer someone like him.

“You're
thinking awfully hard there.”

His voice
has me blinking and coming back to the present. I realize he's caught me
staring at him but I don't care. I feel comfortable laying across his lap and I
like the closeness of it. My eyes shift to his, which are watching mine with
that focused intent that I love. With Noah, I always have his undivided
attention. Not once has he ever zoned out when I was trying to talk to him and
he seems genuinely interested in me.

Noah's eyes
lift from my lips and he searches my gaze. He must see something that gives
away my wandering thoughts because he leans forward, his gaze on mine and he
watches to see if I pull away before his lips finally touch mine.

We shouldn't
be doing this. I'd vowed to be his friend and nothing more but he's impossible
to resist. His lips are incredibly gentle on mine as he avoids pushing too hard
against my split lip. As my mouth opens to him, his tongue sweeps in and
brushes against mine. My hand automatically lifts to cup the back of his head
as the kiss deepens and excitement sparks within me. I can tell that Noah is
being careful and he doesn't touch me but for his lips. The kiss has me wanting
more but somehow he manages to pull away for both our sakes.

He gazes
down at me and carefully brushes aside a piece of hair that has fallen across
my bruised cheek. His eyes are serious and there is something so intense in
them that it takes my breath away.

My heart
skips a beat at the realization that I think he's officially stolen my heart.
The whole darn thing. The funny thing is, I trust him with it. I know he'll
never hurt me, not like others have.

“Blayre?” he
asks softly.

“Why?” I
blurt out as I gaze up at him with confusion.

“What are
you asking?”

“Why me?”

“Why not
you?” he counters back, his tone full of warmth and...possibly love?

I draw in a
deep breath and say, “I'm younger than you by five years. There are women out
there that would date you in a heartbeat. Mature women that aren't still in
high school and who can give you what you want and what you deserve. They come
without the baggage that weighs me down. They're normal,” I whisper.

Something
flickers in his gaze and he gives me a level look. “The age difference doesn't
bother me. You're more mature in some ways than most people your age and I
don't think it's even relevant. Second, I could care less if there are other
women out there that would date me in a heartbeat. I've dated on and off for
years and I have yet to find a woman my age that actually interests me in the
way that you do. I don't care that you come with baggage because you're worth
it. And Blayre, you are normal, you just have a past that holds you back.”

My eyes
widen at his declaration. “I'm not ready for what you want, Noah,” I say. “I
might never be.”

“Then I'll
wait,” he says steadily. “You're worth the wait.”

“No, I'm
not.”

“You are
wrong and I will prove it,” he says determinedly. 

The next
day, I am sitting at the kitchen table after school doing homework when Tate
comes home a little after four. I knew he was uncomfortable with the short hour
that I was on my own from three to four, but it couldn't be helped because
Noah's classes went until five today and then he worked tonight. I'd assured
Tate I'd be fine and promised that he'd find me sitting at the table doing my
homework.

When the
door that connects to the garage opens, I look up and see my brother in his
police uniform, looking as intimidating as ever. “Hey,” he greets as he sets
his holstered gun on the counter top and kicks off his shoes.

“Have you
ever shot anyone?” I ask curiously, my homework now forgotten.

“Yes,” he
says as he picks the gun up and enters the kitchen.

“Really?”

“Yes, and
before you ask, no, I haven't killed anyone. Let me go change and then let's
talk food. I'm starved,” he says before he heads down the hall to his own
bedroom.

Tate has an
obsession for pizza so I stand up and dig out the phone book from one of the
drawers and look up his favorite pizza place. I grab the cordless off the
counter top and order a large pizza with his favorite toppings. Then I set the
phone down and turn around to find Tate entering the kitchen in a pair of jeans
and an old tee.

“Who was
that?” he asks as he heads for the refrigerator and grabs his usual—a beer.

“I ordered
pizza.”

“Thanks,” he
says as he pulls the top off a bottle of beer and takes a long drink before
focusing his attention on me. His green eyes widen when they fall on my
tee-shirt. “Tell me you did
not
wear that to school today.”

I'd been in
the mood to bait him today so I'd pulled on my newest thrift shop tee. After
the past few days, I wanted to lighten things up. “If I had, school would have
probably called you.”

Tate shakes
his head. “Go change.”

“No way,” I
say with a laugh.

“If you want
to check my
oil
, wrap it in
foil
? Seriously, Blayre?”

“It promotes
safe sex,” I say innocently.

“I'm not
talking to you with that in my face,” he says as he heads for the patio doors.
“Go change and then come outside,” he says over his shoulder before he heads
out to the table.

I frown and
look down at the words written across my chest. I like the tee and I'd spent five
dollars on it. I'm going to continue wearing it whether he likes it or not. I
head for the fridge and grab a can of soda before going outside. The
temperatures are staying in the lower to mid-sixties and today I've opted for
jeans. I walk over to the patio table and sit down across from him.

He frowns at
my shirt.

“How can
promoting safe sex be bad?” I tease.

Tate shakes
his head. “When you're at school sometime I'm going to get rid of it.”

“It's
replaceable. You should see all the other ones they've got there.”

“No thanks,”
he says as he takes a drink of his beer, his eyes studying me as if there is
something on his mind.

“Out with
it,” I say warily, knowing it likely has to do with Cole.

“I did a
little more digging on Cole Randall.”

“Not
surprising,” I mutter as I grab my soda and take a drink.

“His
brother, Ethan Randall, has quite the record. Were you aware that he's been in
and out of jail for drugs and assault?”

I sigh.
“Paige warned me about Ethan and I was careful to avoid him.”

“You spent
most of your free time with Cole, which means you were around Ethan and that
crowd since Cole lives with his brother, correct?”

“Yes,” I say
reluctantly.

His eyes
bore into mine. “Was Cole into drugs, Blayre?”

Ah, crap. I
look away because I know where this is going and it's about to get ugly.

“That
answers my question,” Tate says a bit tightly. “Did Cole pressure you to try
any drugs?”

Again, I
refuse to answer him.

There's a
long moment of tense silence.

“You did
drugs with him,” he says with quiet realization, disappointment evident in his
voice.

“I'm sorry,”
I say softly.

“Look at
me.” Reluctantly I look up at him and his eyes are angry and frustrated. “What
were you doing, Blayre?”

“A little of
everything.”

“Were you
messing with hard-core stuff like cocaine?”

“Once.”

He looks
away, his jaw clenching as he stares moodily at the house. “How the hell did
this happen?” he says as he looks back at me accusingly. “You were supposed to
be safe and sheltered with Julie and Steve. You were supposed to learn right
from wrong and not get yourself drawn into stupid shit like you've been doing
since you got here. I thought you were smarter than this.”

“I guess
not,” I say flatly as hurt seeps through me.

“Obviously,”
he agrees as he stands up and stalks into the house. The sliding glass door
slams shut behind him—making me wince.

I'm left
alone and I stare dejectedly at the seat he'd just vacated. I deserve his anger
because hard-core drugs were addicting and if I'd kept going in the direction
I'd been heading, I would have become a junkie. I get his anger and I
understand it. I just feel bad that I've disappointed him on so many levels
lately. I've made so many bad decisions and it's only fair that I pay for them
as well.

There's a
part of me that wants to go upstairs and pull out my razor but I force myself
to stay put and not do what I'm itching to do. Noah's right, I need to find a
way to stop doing the cutting but I wasn't going to a rehabilitation center to
do it. I'd somehow find a way to figure it out myself. And secondly, cutting
with Tate in the house is the worst thing I could do.