Unintentional Virgin (2 page)

Karma sighed. She knew he was right, but she didn’t feel ready. She’d have to bring it up with her shrink at her next appointment. Maybe.

Chapter Two 

That evening, the doorbell rang and Karma barreled down the steps, nearly tripping over the shoes her father had left for her, and pulled the door open. 

“It’s about time,” Karma huffed. 

 Eva didn’t even bother to respond. She was habitually late, and never bothered to apologize. Karma took in her friend’s attire. She was one of those girls who could make geeky look hot. Her black hair was cropped short, and she wore thick black glasses, black skinny jeans, and a tight black T-shirt that read Bring Back Firefly. With her mocha skin, hazel eyes, and high cheekbones, she could be a model. Once, Karma had made the mistake of asking what the hell Firefly was and had to watch the whole series in one sitting. Granted, the series was only  one season, but still… Secretly, she loved it, but she didn’t tell Eva that. She’d never let her live it down. 

“Are you going to let me in or what?” Eva demanded, her hand on her narrow hip. 

Karma rolled her eyes and stepped back as Eva brushed past her and kicked off her shoes, placing them on the shoe rack. 

She’d met Eva last year in a sociology class at the community college, and the two had become fast friends. Eva was so different from the stuck-up preppy girls she went to high school with.  She didn’t care what others thought about her and didn’t take shit from anyone. Which was a welcome change in Karma’s life, where fake and plastic was the norm.

“Where’s your dad and Matt?” Eva glanced around the living room and peeked into the large open kitchen. 

“They went out.” It was so annoying that all her friends loved her father. Seriously, you’d think they’d never met a gay dad before. They were always asking his advice on fashion and their love lives. She told him he should start an online column. “Why?” Karma asked, narrowing her eyes. 

Eva shrugged. “Just wanted to ask Matt about a coding issue I’m having. It’s not a big deal.” 

Karma rolled her eyes. Matt was a computer genius. He was basically a hacker on the government’s payroll. Karma had to endure way too many boring conversations between him and Eva. It was like they were speaking another language. A very boring language at that. 

“I’ll let him know.” Karma dropped into the couch and Eva sank into the leather chair. Princess’s nails clicked loudly on the hardwood floor. She tried to jump onto the couch and failed; finally on the third attempt she made it, pulling her little fat body up and laying her head on Karma’s lap. Instinctively, Karma ran her hand down the short coarse fur. Okay, so maybe she didn’t really hate the dog, but Princess really was ugly as sin. That was the cold hard truth. 

“Do you want to do anything special for your birthday?” Eva asked, grabbing a fashion magazine off the coffee table and flipping through it.  

“Besides get laid?” Karma frowned and instantly wished she could take the words back. 

Eva burst out laughing. “Umm, what?”

“Never mind, you wouldn’t get it.” Karma kicked her feet up on the coffee table, crossing them at the ankles. Her father would have a conniption fit if he was home.

“Get what?” Eva shut the magazine and dropped it back on the table, turning her attention to Karma. Curiosity lit her hazel eyes—today they looked more green than brown. 

Karma looked away. “It’s embarrassing.” 

Eva’s eyes widened and a slow smile spread across her face. “Get out of here! You are
not
a virgin. Are you?”

Karma groaned and laid her head on the armrest. “You might as well know the truth. Your friend is a total loser.” 

“You’re not a total loser, Karma. What, are you waiting till you get married?” Eva raised an eyebrow. 

“Hell no! I just can’t get a guy to have sex with me.”

Eva laughed so hard she looked like she was going to fall off the chair. When she finally was able to talk again she tried to keep a straight face, and failed miserably. “That’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard. You’re cute, funny and…give me a minute, I’ll think of something else.”

“Don’t bother. It may be ridiculous, but it’s true.”

Eva leaned forward and propped her elbow on the arm of the chair. “How did I not know this fact about you? So what, you’ve never had a boyfriend?”

“It’s not something I want to advertise to the world and I’ve had plenty of boyfriends. It’s just anytime it was about to happen something goes wrong. I swear I’m cursed to be a virgin for life. Even though I firmly believe you should try out the merchandise before purchasing for life.”

“Or it’s bad Karma. Get it? Karma?” Eva was clearly pleased with the turn of phrase. 

“I get it,” Karma said, rolling her eyes. “Maybe it is. Something else I can talk to my shrink about. I might need an extra-long session this week.”

Eva ignored the shrink remark. Eva wasn’t a fan of therapists. She always told Karma a long run outdoors was better than any therapy session. Too bad Karma and sweat didn’t get along too well.  “There has to be a good story in here. Tell me about some of the failed attempts. But first, want a drink?” Eva scrambled to her feet.  

“Yeah, grab me a soda. I don’t know if I want to relive the embarrassment.” 

A couple of minutes later Eva padded through the room with soda cans and a bag of sour cream and onion chips. 

“Spill,” Eva said with a grin as she settled back into her seat.

“Fine! The first time was Kevin Carlson. God, he was
so
hot. You know, in that awkward sixteen-year-old skinny hot?”

Eva nodded and grabbed a handful of chips. 

“Anyway, we dated for about four months, so of course we fooled around a little, but one day his parents went out for the evening, so we were at his house alone—condoms purchased and everything. We were making out all hot and heavy on the couch. My shirt was off. Kevin was down to his boxers and standing at attention, if you get what I mean…”

Eva rolled her eyes and gestured impatiently, telling her to continue. 

“I pulled down his boxers, and just as he was about to roll on the condom the door burst open, and his parents walked through the door. Talk about mortified. They just stood there and stared at us for like a minute, and then the mother started yelling, calling me a harlot and to get the hell out of their house. Needless to say, I walked out with my shirt inside out and embarrassed beyond belief. Kevin broke up with me the next day.”

Eva chuckled. “What a jerk! And who the hell says harlot these days?” 

“I forgot to mention that his father was our pastor.”

Covering her mouth, Eva cackled. “You’re kidding. Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Nope,” Karma said with a giggle. She couldn’t help it. In hindsight it was pretty funny. 

“Then there was Dylan Green when I was seventeen. It turns out he wasn’t into girls and was just using me so no one would know. My father kept trying to warn me, but I thought he was out of his mind.” 

Karma paused. Eric Anders—thinking about him still pissed her off.  “I was completely crazy about this jerk, Eric,” Karma said with a faraway look in her eyes. “We were supposed to go to senior prom together. I was certain I was going to lose my virginity that night. I even bought a matching bra and panties, the whole nine yards. Well, he was a real ass; he never even showed up. Later, I found out he took Becky King, one of the cheerleaders, instead. The jackass didn’t even have the decency to call me. My father was so pissed, as you can imagine. He’d spent weeks shopping for the perfect gown.”

“Well, that blows.” Eva placed her soda can down on a coaster. 

“There were others, but you get the gist. Pathetic.”

“We need to fix this,” said Eva, her voice thoughtful.

“Tell me something I don’t know.” Karma took a swig from the can. 

Eva sat up. “Go shower and shave your legs, woman. Tonight you are cashing in your V card,” she said firmly. 

Karma gave her a look. “Yeah, right, Eva. Come on, stop playing around. I think I’m meant to be a nun, but I’m not even Catholic, so I guess not.” She paused.  “I guess I could convert? Or is it too late for that?” 

“Karma, I’m serious. We’re going into the city tonight. Wear something hot.”

Kicking her feet off the coffee table, she set down her drink and rose to her feet. “Fine, but I’m telling you it’s not going to work.”

“Oh, it will work. Now hurry up. I’m going to run home and change. Remember, club clothes.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Karma said good-bye then made her way up the stairs to shower. She shaved and lightly sprayed on a woodsy perfume. The bottle claimed it was a sensual blend. She sighed. Would she really lose her virginity tonight? It was too much to hope for, so she wouldn’t even give it another thought. 

After twenty minutes of looking through her closet Karma called her dad. “Hey, Dad, Eva’s taking me to a club tonight to lose my virginity.” Karma pulled the phone back from her ear. “What the hell? Are you choking or something?”

When the coughing fit finally ended, her father cleared his throat. “Karma, we’ve gone over this a thousand times. It will happen when the time is right. Forcing it by going to a club and picking up a random stranger is
not
the way you want to remember your first time. Trust me on this.”

“I’m sick of being a damn virgin, Dad. I really don’t think it will work, but I’m going to try. So tell me what I should wear. You’re not talking me out of this one. I’m almost twenty, for crying out loud.”

She was met with silence.

“Please, Dad, I really need your advice.” 

Her father sighed on the other end. “Wear that short black skirt we got you the other day, one of your off-the-shoulder black tops, and the highest heels you can walk in. Oh, and make sure to wear your hair down. And don’t forget condoms; please do not forget the condoms!” 

“I won’t and thank you.” 

“I wish you’d think this over, sweetie. There is a guy out there for you. I promise.”

“It’s just sex.”

“It’s never just sex,” he said.

“Bye, Dad.” She clicked off the phone and tossed it on the bed. Her father’s words echoed in her head, but as usual she chose to ignore them. Seriously, what were the chances this crazy plan would work anyway?

Karma pulled the skirt over her full hips and grabbed her strapless bra. She wasn’t very big in the chest department so the push-up bra helped give the illusion of being busty. Hopefully, the guy wouldn’t be disappointed that half her chest was padding.

Chapter Three

Where are you?
Karma sent a text to Eva. It was almost two hours since she’d left her house and she only lived like ten minutes away.

About five minutes out. Hold your horses, woman! Do you want me to be on one of those “don’t text and drive” commercials?

Karma threw the phone into her little black purse, thinking it was good that Eva was absurdly fast at texting. Karma dropped her purse on the table and turned to stare at herself in the entryway mirror. She looked good—for her. Her gray eyes were outlined in smoky eyeliner, making them stand out even more against her pale skin. Her eyes were her one unusual feature—other than her name, of course. She’d applied just a smidgen of blush and clear gloss on her lips. Her father always told her to go natural with the lips, because they were full and didn’t need any more attention drawn to them. She had tried to use the trick her father showed her with foundation to make her nose look smaller, but she didn’t think it worked. Whatever, didn’t they say to embrace your flaws? Hard to go by that philosophy when your mother was a model and your father a plastic surgeon. Her shrink always said fake it till you make it. Like most things in life, easier said than done.

Taking a couple of steps backwards, she ran her hands over the skirt. Her hips swelled out too much, but she liked food so that wasn’t going to change. Her mother’s words echoed in her mind:
If you didn’t eat like a pig you wouldn’t look like one.
Karma cringed and tried to think of something positive to offset the negative in her mind.  At least her stomach was fairly flat—when she sucked it in. 

Could she really go through with this? Was her father right? Should she just wait and let it happen naturally? Perhaps there really wasn’t anyone out there for her. Or maybe she had already met him and missed the signs? That would be just her luck. 

Screw it
. She would let fate decide. Tonight she would pick a random stranger, and if it wasn’t meant to be, well then there wasn’t a hell of a lot she could do about it. For her sake she at least had to try. 

A horn blared from outside. Karma took one last look at herself in the mirror and grabbed her purse off the table. Her heels echoed loudly on the marble floor in the foyer. Surprisingly, she wasn’t very nervous. Maybe a large part of her knew there wasn’t a chance in hell it would actually happen.

As soon as she pulled the door open Princess brushed past her legs and raced outside. Karma cursed under her breath. “Damn that dog.” Karma yelled her name and the dog stopped, looked up at her with its beady eyes, and ran off again. 

Eva’s black Prius sat waiting in the circular driveway. Karma set her purse on the roof of the car and chased after the dog, which was not an easy task in high heels. Eventually, she got her by the collar and pulled her back into the house.
Not a good start to the evening
, Karma thought, breathless. 

Making her way to the car, Karma brushed the dog hair off the front of her skirt before pulling open the door and sliding in. 

“At least you got her quickly this time,” Eva said with a laugh. 

Karma didn’t bother to reply; she just laid her head back on the headrest. 

“You left your purse on the top of the car.”

“Of course I did.” With a groan, she opened the door and grabbed her purse. 

“Nice outfit,” Eva said approvingly. “Let me guess, you asked your dad what to wear?”

“Of course,” Karma said as she turned to take in Eva’s look for the night. She scrunched up her nose. “What in the world are
you
wearing?”