Unfinished (20 page)

Chapter Twenty-Two

Life was
different.  Owen and I had each put on a mask that final morning in Chicago.  We had said all that we could say and there were no easy answers. There was no
solution to make all of the parts work together. So we walked away. Neither of
us with any idea what the days ahead would bring.

I didn’t hear
from him.  He didn’t hear from me.  After three weeks I had settled into some
sort of acceptance that we were indeed going to fade into each other’s past. 
It was strange, my life had gone back to the way it was before he’d come back
into it, yet everything felt so completely different.  With each passing day I
jumped a little less each time I got a text or a call.  I stopped avoiding my
email and I even managed to let up on the constant analyzing of our time
together.  It was hard, but I was reasonable enough to know that as hard as it
was, I had saved myself more heartache in the long run.

“Let’s go out
tonight.  I called the girls and I think we are all due for a night out.  What
do you say?” It was Cassie.  She leaned against my office door, her bright
blond waves standing out against her deep purple suit.  She’d been my lifeline
these last few weeks.  She was good at keeping me distracted when I needed it
and always available when I just needed to talk it out. Again.  She was a true
friend and I was so thankful to have her in my corner.

“I think that
sounds like a great idea.”  The idea sounded better the more I thought about
it.  I needed to get out and shake this whole thing off.  What better way to do
that, than to spend some time with the girls who knew me best?

“Yeah?” I
could see that she was excited and a little surprised by my answer.

“Yeah.  Let’s
do it.” I gave her a smile and it felt good. 

She gave a
woot and clapped her hands.  “Awesome.  I’ll pick you up at 8.  We’ll grab some
dinner and then head out and do some dancing.” She raised her eyebrows in that
mischievous way that she did when she was planning debauchery. 

I sat at a big
round table with empty shot glasses of tequila scattered around.  We were all
feeling the effects.  We’d ended up at a popular Nashville honky tonk.  Ashley
had wanted to find a cowboy she could two-step with and we’d all agreed.  It
was one of my favorite places. It wasn’t your typical smoky club filled with
pumping bass and lights.  It was more laid back with a random mix of patrons
all there to drink some beer, enjoy the band and let the stress of the week
fade away.  I watched the crowd of people dancing to a cover of Blake Shelton’s
Mine Would Be You.  I swayed to the music, smiling, as I watched Ashley dancing
with the cowboy that she’d found. 

“Hi, there,” a
voice asked from beside me.  I looked up into a pair of blue eyes, just visible
under a head of artfully styled brown hair.  The look worked, giving him a
nonchalant and relaxed demeanor. He was tall, lean and perfectly muscular.  He
wore one of those t-shirts that looked casual, but you know cost at least fifty
bucks.  His jeans were expensively ripped and he wore boots. If you smashed
Bradley Cooper and Ryan Gosling together and then gave him the southern drawl
of Josh Lucas from Sweet Home Alabama, you’d have this guy.  He was hot, confident,
but relaxed and instantly appealing.  I took him in, appraising him without
even considering how it came across. He smiled, the left side of his mouth
curving up in an appreciative grin.  “You wanna dance with me?” he asked.

I stared at
him a moment longer before I felt Cassie kick me under the table. I threw her
an irritated glance and she gave me one right back. I could almost hear her
yelling at me in my head. 
Take a chance...dance with the kid!

“Okay,” I
said.  He took my hand and helped me up.  He gave me one of those panty
dropping grins that probably got him a lot of action with very little effort. 
He led me out to the dance floor and I went into his arms easily.  I liked the
way he felt.  His arms were strong. I could feel the firm muscles as he put his
arms around me. 

“I’m Austin,” he offered looking down at me.

“Ally,” I
said.  I had to tilt my head back to see him.  His eyes were really striking. 
A person could get lost in eyes like that, I thought.  I suddenly wanted to do
just that. If I could just talk to this guy and get to know him then maybe he’d
be funny and sweet and the past few months wouldn’t matter anymore.  I waited
to feel the familiar zing, the undeniable attraction that would make me see
past Owen.  I waited.  But I was too far gone to feel it.  

We chatted off
and on and I learned that Austin worked in music.  Imagine that.  Everyone in Nashville worked in music.  But he didn’t name drop and that was a big plus for Austin. He was a local boy and his accent was like honey.  Austin was a keeper…I just
wasn’t sure I wanted to keep him. He asked for my number, so I gave it to him.
Maybe he could be my rebound distraction.  That’s what Cassie always told me. 
She was a firm believer in throwing yourself back into the game, until you
forgot all about the previous players.  It was worth a shot.

The rest of
the night passed quickly.  We laughed and drank and told stories.  I didn’t
talk about Owen, and no one brought him up.  They were good girls.  They knew
exactly what I needed.

Instead of
dropping me off, Cassie grabbed a bag from the back of her car and announced
that she was staying over.  I didn’t complain. I loved having her over.  We
changed into our pajamas, grabbed a bottle of wine and settled on the couch.

“You know,”
she said pouring us each a glass, “You should go out with that Austin guy.” She glanced at me to catch my reaction.

I shrugged,
considering.  She was probably right.   I needed to let go of this Owen thing. 
And maybe if I were to get out of the house more that would be easier.

“Probably.  I
didn’t really feel it though,” I admitted. 

She gave me a
steady look, to show me that her next words were serious.  “Listen, babe, I
know this whole Owen thing really threw you for a loop and it has been hard on
you since you got back from Chicago.  But just give it a go.  You just need to
see that there are lots of other hot guys out there who aren’t so wrapped up in
their jobs.  You deserve to find one of them,” she said.

I sighed, “I
just don’t know if I’m over it enough to give it a fair shot.  I just don’t
really feel like getting anywhere near dating right now.  Can’t I just sit in
the corner and lick my wounds for a bit?”

“You could. 
But then you’d miss out on Austin.  Or whoever.  Look, I’m not saying that you
don’t deserve to grieve over this thing you had going with him, but he doesn’t
deserve your tears. He made the call, his loss.  He’ll be sorry and he’ll come
crawling back and when he does I want you to be able to go into that moment
completely prepared.  I think going out and seeing how things are without him
will help you with that.” She sounded so smart. It was the authority her voice
commanded. She could sell anything.

“He’s not
coming back.  I haven’t heard from him in weeks. Nothing.  We talked all the
time and now he is completely off the grid.  I’m telling you, I saw that look
in his eyes.  Once he makes a decision it’s done and he was resolved.  He’s
gone.” It was hard to say out loud.  It made it all more real.  

“Maybe.  Maybe
not.  Either way, you have to get out there again and just let what happens,
happen.  And yeah, maybe this Austin kid isn’t it, but you might as well go out
and have fun. Hell, you could just stare at him all night and it’d be time well
spent.  That man is scrumdillyumptious.” 

I laughed. He
really was.

Austin called two days later and asked me out to a concert the following weekend.  I
agreed. I was apprehensive, but Cassie was right. It would be a good idea.  It
was time to join the world again.  So Saturday night I put on a dress, curled
my hair and went out with Mr. Gosling-Cooper-Lucas.  He showed up at my door
wearing dark jeans and a black button down.  He even brought me some flowers.
This kid had charm. 

“You look
beautiful.” He gave me his best smile and I even blushed a little under his
gaze.

“Thanks.  Just
let me put these in some water and we can get going.”  I took the flowers and
arranged them in a vase on the kitchen counter.  Austin followed me and chatted
about where he was taking me to dinner. I liked him.  I liked his relaxed
personality.  He seemed genuine and that was refreshing.  I owed it to him, and
to myself, to give it a chance.

We went to a
nice Italian place near the theater where the show was.  Austin was attentive
and interesting and I found myself having a really good time and the past
stayed where it belonged…in the past. 

Austin told me about himself.  He’d grown up here in Nashville.  His dad was a record
producer, which is where his love of music had come from.  His eyes lit up when
he talked. I could tell that he was passionate about it. 

“What was your
first concert?” he asked.

“New Kids on
the Block.  I was so in love with them. I was twelve and my friends and I slept
outside in a parking lot to get tickets.  It was amazing.”

“You slept
outside to see New Kids on the Block?” he laughed, leaning back in his chair
and shaking his head. “Where were your parents?”

“We had a
chaperon. God, it was so much fun.  I was totally going to marry Jordan.” I closed my eyes and pretended to daydream wistfully. 

“Shame that
didn’t work out for you,” he teased.

“Right?  It
really is.  What about you?  I know you have to have some kind of embarrassing
concert story to tell.”

He thought for
a moment and then leaned forward across the table. He glanced around as if
making sure no one could hear him, and then he looked at me seriously. 
“Vanilla Ice…twice.” He sat back, nodding as if to confirm the truth of his
statement. I laughed.

“Wow, twice,”
I laughed. 

“Okay…three
times. I didn’t want it to seem weird.”  That made me laugh louder and I
covered my mouth to try and stifle the noise.  His eyes danced at my reaction.
“Don’t tell anyone,” he warned.

“Your secret
is safe with me,” I smiled.

We were headed
out of the restaurant when I felt my phone vibrate.  I pulled it out to glance at
the text message that had just come in.  My heart stopped suddenly, before
starting again with a forceful thump, hammering against my chest in a painful
way.  Owen. 

Can we
talk?

Can we talk?
What the hell? Did he have some kind of radar that told him I was feeling happy
for a moment? Three words and I was at a sudden stand still.  Why was he
texting me now?

“Everything
okay?” Austin asked, eying me curiously.  I put my phone away and smiled up at
him. 

“Everything is
great.  Sorry about that.” I wasn’t letting Owen ruin my evening. I couldn’t
let him have that power over me. 

“Yeah?” he
asked.

“Yeah.  Let’s
go,” I smiled.  He held out his hand and I took it and we headed towards the
venue. 

The show was
awesome.  Austin’s music connections came in handy and we had awesome seats. I
didn’t even object when he slipped his arms around my waist as we swayed to the
music.  There was a slight part of me that felt guilty, like I was betraying
Owen, thinking about that text waiting for me, but I brushed it off and blocked
him out. 

By the time we
made it back to the car I was chattering away. I felt relaxed in his company
and it was nice. Surprising. He opened my door for me and I climbed inside.  I
heard my phone start with a familiar ring.  Owen’s ring.  Damn.

I grabbed the
phone and silenced it.  I noticed then that there had been two other missed
calls.  I had an instant sinking feeling. Why was he calling me now? What was
there to talk about? The whole thing irritated me. I felt my skin heat the more
I thought about it. I was on a date and he was invading it. 

Austin gave me a questioning look. “Do you need to get that?”

“Oh no, it’s
nothing important.” I gave him my best smile and focused on him and hiding the
turmoil that was brewing inside me. He continued the conversation, and I was
pretty sure that he could sense that I was a little distracted, but he wasn’t
going to let on.  He was a good guy.

He pulled up
to my house and shut the car off.  I thought about asking him inside, but I
couldn’t. 

“I had a great
time tonight.  I’d like to see you again.” He gave me that panty dropping grin
and while it didn’t cause my insides to twist I could appreciate just how
handsome he was.

“I would like
that,” I smiled.  And I meant it.  I liked Austin. He was charming and sweet
and he made me laugh.  I could do worse. 

“Good.” He smiled
at me and moved closer. He was going to kiss me.  I had a moment to decide if I
was going to let him. I waited for the pull, the tingle that should hit right
before a kiss.  Maybe I wasn’t feeling it because I was still hung up on Owen
and the past.  Maybe a kiss would zap me to my senses.  Shock therapy.

I focused on
his lips, they looked soft and he ran his tongue across his bottom lip.  I
leaned into him, before I could question myself.  His lips brushed against my
own, gently, asking for permission to go further.  I leaned in and placed my
hand on the back of his neck, pulling him closer. I felt his tongue against my
lips, requesting entrance, as his hands moved to my hair.  His tongue began to
explore as he deepened the kiss, pulling me closer to him.  I tried to sink
into his embrace, allow myself to be taken away by the moment, yearning to feel
the fire spark within me.  I was trying too hard.  I wanted it to be easy, but
maybe I wasn’t ready for it yet.