Unfinished (16 page)

Chapter Nineteen

I slept
peacefully, wrapped around Owen and completely sated and exhausted from our
night.  I didn’t spend any time trying to figure it out.  I had gone with it
because I had so desperately wanted it.  I spent so much of my life
over-analyzing things and questioning them backwards and forwards and all that
ever did was leave me feeling twisted and confused. Last night had been about
letting myself go for once and doing something because it felt right, and
because I wanted it.  It might have been selfish, and chances are the morning
light was going to bring back all of the questions and confusion, but I would
worry about all of that later.  For now, I was enjoying the moment and the
bliss that came with it. 

I was still in
that state of bliss as I slowly found consciousness. Owen’s breathing was still
deep and even so I knew that he was still asleep.  I took a moment to study him
in private.  The soft shadow of stubble made me want to run my fingers across
it.  He looked peaceful and so incredibly handsome.  I wish I could take a
picture of this moment because I wanted to remember him this way. Spending time
with Owen; I had lots of moments that I wanted to freeze. 

I was startled
as my alarm came on, music from the local morning show filling the quiet room. 
Damn alarm.  It was Monday after all. Owen was flying back home to Chicago today, and I was supposed to go into work late after I’d taken him to airport.  The
thought made me sad. The alarm a symbol of an unwanted reality I wasn’t quite
ready to deal with.

Owen stirred
beside me and I watched his eyes flutter open. I smiled at the sleepy, groggy
look in his eyes.  He stretched, his arms still firmly wrapped around me.

“It’s early,”
he mumbled.

“I know,” I
agreed.  “We should probably get going.  You have a plane to catch soon.”

Owen glanced
over at the clock, but made no move to get up.  “I have hours,” he said. 

I settled back
against him, not wanting to start the morning yet either.  “Okay,” I said
simply.  Who needed reality anyway?

“I like waking
up with you,” he said softly, letting his fingers drift across my back. 
Neither of us had gotten dressed last night, a fact that made this moment seem
decidedly more intimate. 

“I like it
too,” I admitted.  He covered my hand as it ran over his chest, drawing lazy circles
there.  He guided it down over his stomach and to his fully erect cock.

“I mean I
really like it,” he smirked. 

I instantly
felt a surge of desire hit me as I wrapped my hands around him.  He let out a
soft sigh as I began to stroke him up and down.

“I like it
too,” I repeated my earlier statement. He groaned and quickly flipped me over
so that he was hovered over me.  He moved in to kiss me, but I turned my head
at the last minute.  “Breath,” I mumbled laughing.  He turned my head back to
face him and the intense look in his eyes killed the laughter and replaced it
with something hot and needy.  This man was going to be the death of me.  That
look, that single look, had me wet and ready for him. 

He didn’t kiss
me; instead he ran his tongue across my throat and up to my ear as he bit down
on my lobe. I felt it clear down to my toes.  I pressed my lips to his jaw and
his neck as I ran nails down his back.  The intensity between us grew
instantly, and as he pressed into me, stretching me with his fullness, I clung
to him.  I was sore from the night before, but not enough to forgo the pleasure
that feeling him gave me.  I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him deeper
with each thrust. We clung to each other, no space between us as we moved
together. It wasn’t long before I felt the steady build.    This man knew what
he was doing. Or maybe it was just that my body craved him so much that it was
this quick to respond.  I breathed out his name and it felt as if he moved in
deeper within me.  His movements sped up and I was taken away. “Oh, God, Owen,
I’m so close, don’t stop.”

“I’m with you,
baby. Come with me,” his husky voice commanded and then we fell.  I cried out
as the orgasm tore through me.  The pulsing of my insides, combined with the
pulsing of him within me took me higher.

As we came
down, we rolled to our backs, each staring at the ceiling as we caught our
breath. “You sure know how to make Monday morning better,” I sighed contently,
looking over at him.  He turned towards me and gave me his famous smirk. 

“I’ll say,
that was the best alarm I’ve ever heard.” He pulled me closer to him, planting
a kiss on the top of my head.  “If we could market that and sell it we’d make a
fortune,” he teased. 

“I’ll make a
note and see if I can’t get that off the ground,” I smiled. 

We lay there a
few more minutes before I forced myself to get up and face the day like a real
person. “We have to get out of bed.  I thought I’d make you breakfast before
your flight,” I smiled sitting up.

“Breakfast
sounds good. I’m starved. I worked up quite the appetite,” he said
mischievously. 

“Well, then
how about you take a shower while I get started,” I offered. I climbed out of
the bed and moved to grab my robe off the door hook. 

“Or, you could
shower with me,” he offered, finally making a move to get out of the bed. 

I raised my
eyebrow at him. “I think if I take a shower with you, we will both be less than
productive,” I teased. Although the image that suddenly flooded my mind was
more than a little tempting.    I’m sure he could see it flash in my eyes.

“Oh, I’m sure
I could make it productive,” he offered.

I laughed at
him. “No. As nice as that sounds, I’m going to sit this one out,” I gave him a
pout to let him know that I thought this was a legit sacrifice.

“Fine,” he
said walking towards me. “But how about you shower and I cook,” he smiled,
kissing my cheek.

“You’re gonna
cook me breakfast?” I smiled at the thought of him in my kitchen.

“I am. Now
scoot.  You have work,” he grinned at me and I threw my hands up in surrender.

“By all
means…have at it.  I like to be pampered,” I said as I sauntered off to my
bathroom.

I let the
steam fill up the bathroom as the hot water fell against my skin.  I was lost
in daydreams as I washed my hair.  I was a little sad to be rinsing away the
smell of Owen from my skin, but my body still felt him.  I knew that we’d have
to have a talk about what happened.  None of this had changed the fact that our
situation was complicated.  Not only did he live seven hours away from me, there
was also the complication of his pseudo fake girlfriend that was seemingly
tangled up in his life. I just couldn’t wrap my feelings around that one.  I
wanted to believe him when he told me about her and that there wasn’t really
anything going on with them.  But part of me was worried that believing that
made me a fool.  I mean he had admitted that they’d been together on occasion
and that fact alone was enough to make me sick to my stomach.

I was so
afraid of being a fool in this situation.  It was a constant tug at my heart. 
But I’d chosen to take this extra step and blur the lines even more.  Now I had
to deal with the repercussions of that.

I turned the
water off and wrapped myself up in a big fluffy towel.  I had to wipe the fog
from the mirror, to reveal my reflection.  I studied myself, trying to pinpoint
the differences in my face. It was the same.  It didn’t showcase all of the new
feelings that were dancing inside me.

The way I saw
it I had two options here.  I could go for broke and see what happened between
Owen and me. I could ignore all of the obstacles between us and just see what
happened.  Or, I could do what was smart and shut the whole thing down now. 
That was what I should do.  But, I could still feel him.  My muscles were still
sore from our night together and that memory didn’t want to hear anything about
being logical.

I watched as
Owen moved around my kitchen, stirring the batter for pancakes and frying up
bacon. I watched as the well defined muscles of his back moved with each stroke
of the spoon in his hand.

“Smells good
in here,” I commented, leaning against the bar and watching him. He looked good
there, in my kitchen.  It made my mind flicker to future possibilities.  I
quickly shook those dangerous thoughts away.

He turned and
smiled at me, giving me a wink. “You just wait. I make killer pancakes.”

I pushed
myself up so that I was sitting on the bar. I caught his eyes drift down to
bare legs as they swung beneath me. The look made me tingle. I had come in here
with a plan. We were going to talk about what had happened and be rational
adults about the whole situation. But when he looked at me that way, my brain
took hiatus and I was a gooey mess all over again.

I watched him
move about my kitchen with ease, flipping pancakes, pouring me coffee and
setting bacon on a plate. He radiated ease and confidence and it was enjoyable
to watch.

I sipped my
coffee as he finished preparing our breakfast. While his back was to me, I
decided to take the chance and jump into this conversation that we were both
avoiding. At least I was avoiding it; maybe he didn’t think there was a
conversation to be had at all. He surely didn’t seem preoccupied with things
the way I was.

“So, do you
think we should talk about things?” I asked. I hated that my voice sounded
timid. I needed to control this conversation and my emotions.

I saw him
tense for a second and then slowly turn to face me. I could tell he was trying
to read me for some sort of signal, but I was doing my best not to give him
one. I needed to hear what he thought.

He turned off
the stove and gave me a nod as he leaned back against the counter to face me.
“Okay. I guess we probably should talk about it,” he agreed.

Neither of us
made a move to speak. We were both testing out the waters. It made me laugh
which in turn made Owen relax and smile. I loved his smile. The real one.

“You first,”
he challenged.

Fine. If that
is how he wanted to play it. I took a deep breath to steady myself. “Okay.
Well, I had a really great time with you this weekend. I like spending time
with you. I’ve missed you so much and having you here just reminded me of how
important you are to me and how I don’t want you to walk out of my life again,”
I said.

“I feel the
same way,” he said, crossing his arms across his chest. His demeanor was easy
and it encouraged me to go on.

“We have a lot
of obstacles between us right now. You live seven hours away and you are
working on your promotion. I have a really full plate right now
and…well…there’s this whole arrangement that you have with Anna…” I let my
voice trail off as he moved towards me, stopping in front of me. He moved my
knees apart so he could stand between them, close. He put his hands on my
thighs and locked me in place with his eyes.

“It is
complicated,” he agreed. “I wish I could deny the truth in your words, because
this weekend has been so amazing and I don’t want to walk away from the way
that I feel when I am here with you.” He reached up and stroked my cheek with
his hand. “Being with you…it feels so right to me. More right than anything
I’ve ever felt. But I know that I’m not in a place where I can give what it
takes to make that work right now. I want to, but neither of us have lives that
fit that right now,” he said.

I felt a wave
of tremendous disappointment roll through me. I knew he was right; it was what
I had said.  But to hear it from him proved to me that part of me wanted him to
disagree and fight to change my mind.  Part of me had been hoping for the
fairytale.

I managed a
nod and tried to look away from him. The air between us suddenly felt too
heavy.  Owen lifted my chin and forced my gaze back to his. “It doesn’t mean
that I’m giving up on us.  It just means that I recognize that I have things to
sort out and that I owe it to us to fix all of that before we move forward. 
I’m not willing to lose you, Ally.  If I push this whole thing now, I know I’ll
screw it up.  I can’t let myself screw it up,” he said.

“So what does
that mean exactly?  Do we just go back to being friends?” I asked.  I wasn’t
sure that I could do that, even if I knew it was the best thing for now.  He was
right. I didn’t want to rush into something that we couldn’t commit to fully. I
knew it would only make me resent him. 

“I don’t think
that we could ever go back to being just friends. I know too much about your
body, to ever look at you as just a friend.”  He ran his hands down my arms and
smiled when I shivered. “I’m going to dream about you every single night. I’m
going to replay each moment with you over and over until I can do it again. And
just so you know, I plan on doing it all again.” His smile was full of promise
and I flashed back to the night before and was suddenly feeling needy again.

“So we wait
for a better time?” I asked. 

“I think we
have to.  What do you think?” he asked.

“Honestly, I
agree.  I mean, I had the same speech prepared.  But now that we’ve agreed, I
feel a bit bummed about it,” I said giving him a lighthearted laugh. 

“Good. I like
to know that we are on the same page.  I’m pretty damn bummed myself,” he
laughed. “Because, what I really want to do is miss my flight and take you
straight back to bed and spend hours making you scream my name.” His voice had
taken on a husky tone and I felt a blush heat my cheeks.

“That would
definitely go against our agreement,” I said. It came out breathy and I didn’t
miss the way his eyes began to blaze.

“Eh, I suck at
rules,” he said. I put my hand on his chest and pushed him back slightly.  I
needed some space or I’d let him take me back to bed.