Unfinished (14 page)

“I bet he
would like that,” I agreed.  I followed him down the line as he inspected the
old cars.  “Tell me about them.”  I wanted to hear the stories that he’d grown
up with.  I felt like he needed to tell them. He smiled at me and I watched as
he took in the barn. I saw the smile spread across his face, the memories
flashing in his eyes. I loved seeing this side of him.  He’d been good here. 
Carefree.  This was his family, his foundation. 

He walked me
down the line, stopping at each classic to tell me a story about how he and his
granddad had worked at fixing it up, or where it came from, or why he loved it
so much.  With each story the lines around his eyes would crinkle and it made
my heart melt.  This was him, pure and simple.  Listening to him had me falling
for him more and more. 

We reached the
end of the line and Owen helped me up into the bed of an old truck.  And we
each took a seat on the wheel wells across from one another. “I miss that man.
He was one of the best people I knew.  You know, growing up and spending all
that time out here with him, I never gave it much thought, it was just good
times.  I never realized he was teaching me about life while we were out here,”
he chuckled as he thought about it. 

“He was a good
man,” I agreed.  “You are a lot like him.  Even with all the crap you went
through, him and Granny gave you a good foundation,” I said.

“Yeah, I was
lucky,” he agreed. 

“Granny
worries about you up there in Chicago,” I smiled. 

“I know. She
tells me every time we talk. She thinks I work too hard.  She wants me to
settle down so that she knows I won’t be alone after she is gone.” He shook his
head at the thought.

“She wants
what is best for you,” I smiled.  I wanted to ask him why he had never told her
about Anna.  It might have made her feel better about him being so far away if
she thought he had someone special in his life.  Even if it wasn’t a real
relationship as Owen had pointed out, I still wondered why he hadn’t ever
brought her home.  Or had he?

“What are you
thinking about?” He interrupted my thoughts and I blushed.  I didn’t really
want to talk about Anna.  Not here. 

“It’s
nothing,” I said, hoping he wouldn’t push.

He gave me a
sidelong look as if trying to pull the thoughts from my mind.  He was good at
that. Sometimes it felt like he could peer right in and read all of my thoughts
on a projector. 

“Tell me,” he
said simply.

Damn.  “I was
just wondering why if she is always so worried about you not settling down that
you hadn’t brought Anna around to make her worry less,” I shrugged.

He held my
gaze for a long moment and I began to wish I hadn’t said anything.  I didn’t
want to think about her.  The whole situation made me question everything. It
was easier when I ignored her.

“I never told
Gran about Anna because Anna isn’t important to me,” he said.  I gave him a
look that said that that made him sound like an asshole.  “What I mean is, what
Anna and I have is an arrangement. It’s never been a relationship. It’s part of
my life, but it is just part of the big charade that I made for myself.  This
is my home. She isn’t home for me.  And honestly, the more time I spend with you,
with the old me, the more I realize how insane it was for me to believe that
that would have been enough,” he admitted.  His words made my chest tighten.  I
wanted to read between the lines, but that was dangerous. I couldn’t fill in
the gaps with my own theories. 

I wasn’t sure
what to say to that so I just kept my mouth shut.

“I know it’s
weird and complicated.  It’s something I need to work out. I have spent a lot
of time thinking one way, and now I am starting to question all of that,” he
admitted.  He held my gaze and I gave him a small smile.

“I didn’t mean
to bring it up,” I said.

“It’s fine,
Ally. I want to be honest with you.  You are important to me.  I never want to
keep anything from you.  I know this thing between us is kind of all over the
place right now, but I need you.  I do. I’ll do whatever I have to to keep you
in my life.” His words hit me hard and caused my heart rate to climb.

“Me too,” I
managed hoping that made sense.

“Come on, we
should probably head back to the house. Granny will have dinner started soon. 
Plus, I want to try this pie you made,” he gave me his classic Owen smirk,
breaking the tension between us.

“Oh it’s going
to be an amazing pie.  I can peel the crap out of an apple,” I teased.

“We’ll see
about that.” He held out his arms to help me down from the truck.  I jumped
down and slid down his body on the way.  He held me close to him and I heard
his breath catch.  I loved being this close to his body, the feel of him
against me. I loved the dark gaze he got when he was this close to me.  It made
the want in me build continually.  He held me close to him for a long moment,
before kissing my forehead and leading me outside. 

“I just have
to check something on the other side of the barn. It should only take a minute.”
I followed him over to the second large door that led into the old horse
stalls.  Granny didn’t have horses anymore; it was too much work for her alone,
so they’d sold them and all of the tack years ago.  It made me a little sad, to
see all of the changes that had happened since I was last here. 

Owen moved
around, checking the locks and equipment that was still stored here.  I
wandered around the small room as he did, taking in the atmosphere, reading the
old tin advertisement signs that Grandpa Jack had kept on the walls.  He had a
small desk out here too. This was his man cave. He hadn’t needed a big screen TV
or a recliner. Instead he was happy with his tools, his horses and his cars. 

I was
completely engrossed in my surroundings and didn’t notice when Owen came back. 
I turned and jumped when I saw him leaning casually against the huge wooden
beam, watching me.

“Geesh, you
scared me,” I laughed, heart thumping erratically from the jolt.  “You’re like
a ninja.”  He didn’t say anything; he just continued to watch me. “What?” I
asked, giving him a puzzled look, crossing my arms across my chest. 

“You.  In this
barn.  It makes me remember things.”  He continued to study me and I suddenly
felt shy.  The beat of my heart didn’t settle, it picked up even faster.  That
memory was hard for me to visit.  Part of me wanted to change the subject fast.

“Different
barn,” I managed, biting my lip, glancing around me. 

“You had on
cowboy boots that night too,” he offered.  His gaze was making me nervous.  I
felt 17 again, alone with someone completely out of my league.

“I did.”  I
didn’t trust myself with many words right now. I didn’t want him to hear that
my voice was shaking.

“Why don’t you
come over here?” he suggested. His gaze was dark and hooded, and not open for
compromise. I could feel the pull.  It was as if an invisible line connected
us, and there was no way I could resist. I took a few steps towards him.

“Closer.”

I closed the
gap until there was just a breath of space between us.  His hands rested on my
shoulders and then slowly moved down my arms.  The skin of his hands was
slightly rough, calloused.

“Do you know
how often I think about that night?  I think about what it would have been like
if I had stayed there.  I wanted to stay.  I wanted you so much,” he admitted.

My breath
caught and I had to work to find my voice.  “But you stopped me.  You left.”  I
couldn’t believe we were having this conversation. I’d always thought that I
wanted the answer to what happened that night, but now that it was here, I
wasn’t so sure.  I wasn’t that girl anymore.

He shrugged,
looking a little ashamed. “I panicked. I didn’t want to ruin us.  I did anyway
though.  You left me after that night.” His voice was quiet, his hands still
moving up and down my arms. 

“But you’re
here now. So I guess nothing was really ruined,” I managed a smile.  I needed
to diffuse this situation. I was a ball of need and it was making my body hum. 
It was nearly painful.  Being this close to him, feeling his touch was
unraveling me and I wasn’t sure how much I could take before I started begging
him. And well, that would be embarrassing.

I watched as
he ran his tongue across his lip. I was sure he could hear my heart beating,
feel the catch in my breathing. He read me like a book. With him there was no
hiding.

He moved his
hands to my face, his fingers against my cheeks, his eyes holding me still. 
His thumb ran across my bottom lip and I bit it without thinking.  He let out a
groan and pulled me to him, covering my mouth with his. This kiss wasn’t sweet,
it was needy.  It matched my own.  His tongue found mine and I clung to him,
needing all space between us to be gone.  I heard my own whimper as he turned
us and pressed me against the beam. I was grateful for the support behind me because
I wasn’t positive that my legs were going to make it on their own. 

His hands
moved down my body and under my dress, lifting me off of my feet and gripping
my butt.  I wrapped my legs around him and moaned as his hardness pressed
against me.  I threw my head back as his lips explored my throat hungrily.  I
needed him.  I was done with rational thought in this moment. All I knew was
that I needed this man.

“Ally.  God
you feel so good. I want you.  I want to feel every part of you.  You make me
crazy.” He kissed his way to my breasts, nipping at my cleavage and making the
pull in my core intensify. 

“I want you
too,” I admitted.  My hands were all over him.  I wanted his shirt off. I
wanted all of his clothes off.  It was only the slight rational part of my
brain that was reminding me of where we were and why that would be a bad idea.

His fingers
brushed the edge of my panties and I squirmed to try and get him to touch me. 
He rewarded me with one finger, tracing against my wetness.  “You are so
beautiful.  So wet.  I want to be inside you,” he groaned as his mouth slammed
against me again. I could feel the passion between us building and I wasn’t so
sure either of us had the wherewithal to stop. 

“Owen,” I
breathed his name as his fingers teased me. It was such sweet torture. I was
wound so tightly that I could hardly think straight.

“Baby, we
can’t do this here,” his voice was like gravel, scratching at the need building
within me. He continued his assault.

“Please.”
There it was. The begging. I didn’t care. I was beyond caring now.  I just
wanted him.

“Fuck, you are
killing me.  We have to stop. We can’t do this here. I want to take my time
with you.  I want to savor you.  I can’t do that now. I can’t do that here.” He
finally slowed his kiss, trying to cool the situation. 

I groaned
stubbornly.  Reluctantly he lowered my feet to the ground.  Luckily he held on
to me so that I didn’t fall.  I took a moment to catch my breath, pressing my
forehead against his. We were both trying to regain control.  It was taking
more effort than I would have thought. 

“I’m beginning
to hate barns,” I said softly.  He chuckled.

“They are
fairly frustrating,” he agreed.

It took a few
more moments for our breathing to return to normal. “Let’s go to dinner…so you
can take me home and finish what you started,” I said looking him straight in
the eye, so he knew that I was serious. 

He let out a
long breath, “Fuck, Ally.”

This time I
laughed, took his hand and led him back outside. 

When we made
it back up to the house, Granny was moving all around the kitchen. I welcomed
the distraction of helping her with dinner. I tried to keep space between me
and Owen as I was still charged from our encounter. He wasn’t making it easy
for me.  He kept throwing me sultry gazes when Granny wasn’t looking and he
found ways to brush against me as he got dishes out to set the table.  He
wasn’t playing fair and I could feel the steady blush across my cheeks,
partially from his secret advances and partially from the lingering heat within
me.  This was going to be a long dinner.  I hoped Granny didn’t notice how
distracted I was.

Luckily dinner
was ready quickly and we all sat down at the table with fried chicken, mashed
potatoes and vegetables.  It was a southern specialty and Granny knew how to do
it to perfection.  It was just enough to pause the flirtiness, and send us back
into the relaxed family setting.  I couldn’t help it, sitting at the table with
Granny made me feel like I was at home. It was a calmness that I hadn’t even
realized that I had been missing in my life.  The realization made me smile and
I took a moment to soak it in, just in case I was never able to capture it
again.

Two hours
later we had the kitchen cleaned, pie eaten and had tired poor Granny out with
all of our company.  It had been a big day and I could tell she was exhausted. 
I kissed her on the cheek and told her I’d be back to visit again soon.  I had
already decided that I’d be making the trip back out here, even without Owen. 
I had missed her, and I wasn’t ready to miss out on having her in my life
again.

“Next time you
can teach me to make that fried chicken,” I said giving her a hug. 

“Of course, dear,
we’ll get you all set,” she laughed.  She moved to Owen and looked up to him as
he stood towering over her small frame. 

“You take care
of yourself, Gran.  And call me about anything you need. I may be far away, but
I can make things happen,” He said sternly.  She smiled up at him sweetly.

“Don’t you
worry about me, Son, I’ve got good people seeing after me.  You just call and
talk to me and I’ll be happy,” she said.

“I can do
that,” he said wrapping her up in his big arms, careful not to squeeze her too
tightly.  “I’ll call you when I get back home tomorrow.”