Authors: Meg Jolie
“So you just started hanging out,” I guessed.
“And things went from there?”
He nodded.
“Why didn’t you just tell me?” I demanded. “You lied to me!”
“I didn’t lie!” Tristan argued. “I just…”
“Didn’t tell the truth?” Willow supplied. She shook her head. “I expected so much better from you.”
“You’ve been
sneaking around behind my back.” I said. “Yes or no?”
He grimaced but didn’t answer. “Dominick should’ve kept his mouth shut.
This is none of his business.”
“Oh, wrong answer, buddy,” Willow said as she smacked him across the chest.
“You’ve been keeping secrets from me. Yes or no?”
“Like you tell me absolutely everything?” he wanted to know.
“I’m not keeping anything from you!”
“Oh, really. Not even that you and
Corey are all chatty and close again?”
“That’s not…that’s not true!” It wasn’t, was it? We talked. In school. And I’d run into him tonight. But it had always been completely i
nnocent. “It’s nowhere near the same thing.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Yes, I am,” I stubbornly replied.
“Really? Sitting alone in his car with him? Did you have a good time?” he demanded.
“Did you have a good time with Jayde?” I demanded back.
His eyes flicked to
Corey and he looked livid. “Yeah. I did.”
“Good to know,” I managed to squeeze out past the ever growing lump in my throat.
“Britta?” Willow cautiously asked.
Tristan kept his eyes on me. “
I totally get why you’re mad.”
Mad? I was so far beyond mad.
“I
knew
you were going to be mad but…can’t you just try to see things from my perspective?” He reached for me, grabbing my elbow and I froze. “Do you have any idea how suffocated I feel?”
Those words
un
-froze me.
Suffocated? Was he kidding me? “Go to hell, Tristan,” I said as I jerked my arm away. “Or at least leave me the hell alone.”
He darted in front of me. “So, what…you’re not even going to try to understand where I’m coming from?”
“You kept secrets from me. You lied to me. All the times you said you were too busy
working to see me…you…you lied!” I cried. And you were
with her?!
I added silently because the words felt like they would’ve ripped apart my throat if I had to try to push them out. “Am I right?”
He threw his hands up in the air in defeat or possibly frustration. “You’re being unreasonable!
I was with Jayde. You were with Corey. Maybe
I’m
the one that should be pissed off!”
“You…you
—,” I spluttered until Willow gripped me by the shoulders.
“We’re out of here,” she told Tristan as she steered me toward the car. He—to my relief or disappointment, I wasn’t even sure—didn’t try to stop her.
“I’ll take you home,” Corey offered.
I had forgotten he was there. He didn’t look like he was enjoying the argument. He actually had the decency to look like he truly felt bad about it all.
Because of that, I was just irrational enough to accept.
*~*~*~*
“Is your mom in bed already?” Corey asked. I hadn’t thought to protest when he’d gotten out to walk me to the door. He’d surprised me by walking right into the house with me. If I’d been thinking more clearly, I would’ve lied and told him yes.
Instead I told the truth. “She’s gone tonight.”
His eyebrows twitched upward just a bit. “So you’re home all alone?”
I nodded.
And then he took his shoes and coat off.
I followed him into the living room where he made himself at home on the couch. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me with him.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“
Do I want to talk about Tristan? With you? No. Not hardly,” I said. “Look, I appreciate the ride home,” I paused to think. “I appreciate everything else you did tonight. Telling me what was going on, driving me around and just…you know, being all supportive. But really, I think you should probably go. I kind of want to be alone.”
He shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t think you should be alone.”
“Corey,” I said firmly, “I
want
to be alone.”
What I really wanted was to have a good cry. The tears were right there, hanging on, waiting to break free any second. I knew if I turned into a blubbering mess in front of
Corey, he’d probably never leave.
As it was, I was just hanging on tightly to the numb feeling. But like a dose of Novocain, it would wear off sooner rather than later. I’d really prefer to have him gone by then.
“If you don’t want to talk about Tristan, can we talk about us?” he asked hopefully.
“I’m really not in the mood for talking,” I told him. I hoped he’d get the hint without me being rude. I barely had the words out when it started to happen. The numbness started to wear off. The pressure in my chest became almost unbearable.
My breaths started coming a bit too fast.
“Britta,”
Corey said quietly. He pulled me into his chest. Once again, I let him.
Big, fat, wet teardrops started to leak out.
Corey just let me cry all over him. I half wondered what kind of mixed messages I was sending. But I was too much of a mess to care. He reached over for the box of tissues on the end table.
I managed to keep the volume turned down. There wasn’t a whole lot I could do about the volume of tears that I cried. We sat there, silent other than my quiet sobbing and sniffling and
Corey’s murmuring that it would be okay.
I took
the tissues and then he wrapped me up in his arms again. My entire body ached with missing Tristan already. While being with Corey didn’t feel bad, it didn’t feel right, either.
“I’m fine now,” I finally said. I wasn’t. But it also wasn’t fine that he was there. I took the tissues and scrubbed at my face until it was dry.
Corey was watching me. His expression made it clear that he knew I was lying. He reached over and tucked my hair behind my ear. I was sure I was a mess. Most people are not pretty criers, but I knew I could become downright hideous. Blotchy face, bright red nose, swollen eyes. Corey had the decency to pretend not to notice.
“Maybe you should call Willow? Maybe she could come stay with you?”
I shook my head. I had a broken heart. Not a broken leg. I didn’t need someone to look after me. Besides, she was using her mom’s car. Most likely her mom would need it first thing in the morning.
“I’
m fine. I just really want to go to bed.” I hoped that I would feel better in the morning.
He didn’t look like he planned on going anywhere.
“Come on,” I said. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet. Not a well thought out plan on my part because I ended up face to face with him. Making it all too easy for him to slide his hand around the back of my neck and bring his lips to mine.
If it had been anyone else, I
’m sure I would’ve stopped him. But Corey was Corey and for better or worse he was familiar. For a few seconds or maybe a few minutes my mind just went on autopilot. I let him kiss me and I was pretty sure that I kissed him back. I had felt rejected by Tristan for a while, tonight, worse than ever. Actually feeling like someone wanted me? It felt good for a change. And while it wasn’t a good reason to let him, it was the only reason I needed.
“I miss you,” he said when he finally pulled away.
“Oh,” I shook my head. “Oh, no.”
He let out a resigned breath, as if he knew what was coming.
“You don’t miss me at all?” he demanded.
I didn’t. Not anymore. But it seemed like a hurtful thing to say. I wished he hadn’t put me on the spot like that. But then I realized
he
should’ve realized just how awful his timing was.
“
Corey, Tristan and I
just
broke up!”
“Right. I know, it’s just…I thought maybe you still felt something for me,” he said. “I mean, you kissed me back!” He almost sounded accusatory. “What was that about? If you don’t feel the same way, why did you kiss me back?”
“I shouldn’t have,” I admitted. “It was an accident. A…a reflex.”
“A mistake,” he said. His voice was flat but his expression had hardened.
Yet, despite that, he actually seemed surprised.
I felt my shoulders slump.
A gritty realization began to slither through me. “Were you so nice to me tonight because you thought…I don’t know…That we would just jump back into a relationship?”
“You ‘jumped’ into your relationship with Tristan in no time at all.” His voice had an accusatory edge.
I tried to keep my voice level. “And you’d jumped into what…three relationships by then?” Admittedly, I was using the term ‘relationships’ loosely. But I could name at least three girls he’d been seen with between the time he broke up with me and by the time I started seeing Tristan.
He shook his head. “I take it this isn’t going to go anywhere.”
“No, Corey, it’s not,” I agreed.
He didn’t argue. H
e left the room and I followed. He wordlessly got ready to leave. I kept my distance. When he reached for the doorknob, he looked back at me. “For what it’s worth, I am really sorry about Tristan. And I do wish we were still together.”
I didn’t have any more to say to that. So I said nothing as he let himself out.
I just stood there, alone, feeling numb. Wondering how my night had just continued to plummet into a downward spiral. I turned to go to my room when I heard my phone start to ring. It took me a second to realize it was in my coat pocket. I pulled it out, not surprised that I wanted it to be Tristan.
It wasn’t.
“Is that
Corey
leaving your house?” Jamie demanded.
“Where are you?” I asked.
“Evan was just dropping me off as he was pulling out. Isn’t your mom gone? Why was Corey at your house?”
She was mad, I could tell, though she was trying to hide it. I quickly filled her in on the events of the evening.
“Did you know about Jayde?” I demanded when I’d finished.
“Are you kidding me? Of course I didn’t know about
Jayde. Are you sure you’re right? I mean, are you
positive
you’re right?” Her voice was cloaked in disbelief.
“I’m positive. I told you, I saw him. When he came to Krista’s, he didn’t deny it.”
“So,” she said carefully. “Where is he now?”
Just when I thought my heart couldn’t twist itself into any tighter of a knot, it did. “He’s not home?”
She didn’t say anything.
“Jamie?”
“No,” she finally said. “He’s not. And he wasn’t at Krista’s either. He never came in.”
“Well,” I said, trying to keep my voice light but failing completely. “My guess? He’s probably with
Jayde.”
18
“Why are you getting a mint hot chocolate?” Willow demanded. “You always get vanilla.
Vanilla cappuccino or vanilla hot chocolate, whichever, but always vanilla. Always.”