Undying Love (The Introduction) (10 page)

Chapter Fourteen
 

Arianna
 

I feel like such a selfish brat. I love Skylar and I want the best for him in life. So, that should mean with or without me. But, I'm not that selfless. Graduation is around the corner and he has been offered multiple scholarships. Even Akron offered him a scholarship. How can you say no to that? The problem is Akron is in Ohio. It’s not a simple drive down the street. I was starting to think that maybe we had a chance, but now … I’m not so sure. He has a lot of recruiters playing for him, and they take up a lot of his free time. I don't want to be the annoying girlfriend who always complains, but I don't see him as much. He tries his best to spend as much time with me as possible. But he's always so tired, and I feel awful that he puts his own needs on standby so he can make me feel secure in our relationship. Even with everything he's doing I still feel that our demise is inevitable. Maybe if I was older and I graduated
at the same time
as him,
we might have had a fighting chance. Other than that, I see no way out.
 

I'm sitting on the bleachers watching him practice. But truthfully, my mind isn't even here. I'm staring into space trying to think of a way to salvage our relationship. Or, at least, to accept
that
our time is limited, and
to
be happy with what we have left.
 

"Why so glum, chum?"
 

I laugh. "Colin that was really cheesy."
 

"I know. I just wanted you to laugh."
 

"Well, it worked. Thank you."
 

He
clears his throat.
"Ari, you know that my feelings haven't changed even after all this time."
 

I sigh. "Colin … Please. I wish that I could feel the same way about you; it would be the smart thing to do. But, it's not how I feel. I adore you as a friend, but nothing more."
 

"Why him Ari?"
He grumbles.
 

"I wish I knew. I fought it in the beginning, you know? But I ended up hurting you. That wasn't right." I say apologetically.
 

"He's not good enough for you Ari!"
 

"He's perfect for me Colin. From the moment I saw him, my heartbeat changed to match his. I know that may sound stupid because I'm young, but what I feel for him is real. We may not last, but I know that my heart will always belong to him." I say with conviction.
 

"I don't need your whole heart,
Ari. Ju
st let me in a little and we'll take it from there." He says pleading with me.
 

I look into his eyes and I can see he's being sincere. I see love staring back at me and my heart breaks for him. "You shouldn't settle, and if anyone but Sky ends up with me they will be settling, because they’ll never truly have me. Is that what you want?"
 

"I'll have you any way I can, Ari. I've loved you for as long as I can remember. The little time that we’ve had together proved to me that what I feel for you is real."
 

Mournfully I say, "I don't know how that can be true, Colin, when I never opened myself up to you. I knew it wasn't right, so I kept my heart out of it. I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm being honest. I think what you need
is closure from me …
From us."
 

"I'll give you time Ari,
I'll give you
all the time you need. He's leaving soon and I'll be right here waiting for you. He won't have time when he leaves, between schoolwork, practice, games, parties, and girls. You will be a distant memory, Ari … Why would you choose to stay when he's merely playing with you until he passes the time? You were a challenge, and he conquered you. He's going to move on, and when he does, he's going to break your heart. But I'll be here … I'll always be here for you."
 

I look away from Colin and stare at Skylar. “When I'm with him all the dark clouds go away … He makes me feel like I can take on the world. I can sense the love we have for each other when he's near. It's like fire or an electric current; it's so big and warm. I can't even put it into words how it feels … But I know when I'm not with him I get an empty and cold sensation. It's like I'm searching for something, like a part of me is missing you know? So even if I have him for this little time, I'll take it. And I'll cherish it until I take my last breath."
 

He gets up to leave but turns around and says, "I hope you know what you're doing Ari." He leaves without another backward glance.
 

When he's a good distance away, I whisper, "Yeah, me too."
 

***

College, it's where we all aspire to go after we graduate high school. But, right now, I can truly say I hate it. This summer was everything and more. Sky and I spent it together simply being us. We both knew the day would come. But, we didn't talk about it,
even though it
was there in the back of our minds. It didn't ruin the memories we created this summer. This was the best summer I’ve ever had and I wished it could last forever. I wish we could keep college on hold until we were ready. In truth, we would never be ready. Unfortunately, we can't put it off any longer because today he's leaving for college.
 

I'm parked in front of Sky's house waiting to take him to the airport. He comes walking out, dressed in a pair of
short
brown cargo pants and a white polo shirt. His outfit is simple, but he's never looked better. He's gotten a nice tan from spending so much time on the beach, and his skin looks radiant.
He kisses me on the forehead as soon as he closes the door.
 

"Hey pretty girl."
 

"Hi."
 

"Don't look so sad baby. We’ll talk on the phone, text, and Skype daily. I promise."
 

I nod and smile. "I have a present for you," I whisper.
 

He beams at me. "Really? You didn't need to give me anything. I already have you—that's all I need."
 

"Still, I got you something. Here …"
I say while I hand him the box.
He takes it from me and opens it. He's quiet and I panic.
"You don't like it?"
 

He smiles a dimple-bearing smile. "Like it? Baby, I love it! Thank you."
 

It's a specially designed soccer cleat with his initials S.S.M for Skylar Sebastian Montgomery. And the number eleven that he wears on his soccer jersey.
 

"I would have given it to you earlier for your graduation, but I didn't receive it yet." I shrug.
 

He whispers, "Come here."
 

I lean over the console and he kisses me tenderly almost as if he's savoring the moment. He pulls away from me and looks deeply into my eyes.
"I love you. Do you know that?''
 

"Yeah … I do." I say smiling.
 

"Good. I have something for you too."
 

I wrinkle my nose and say, "Why?"
 

"Because I love you, and I owe you a few charms. I haven't been keeping my promise."
 

He hands me a small box. When I open it, I see three charms in it.
 

"The number eleven is for my jersey. The heart has our initials on it so that you will remember we will always be together. The ring … the ring is a reminder that we will get married in the future. We will have our happily ever after Ari."
 

I can't respond because I'll start crying, and I don't want to cry. I want to be strong for him. So I kiss him. I kiss him with everything that I have. When I pull away, I look straight ahead and start the car. As I'm pulling out of the driveway, he takes my hand over the console and holds it. We don't talk for the entire ride as we try to savor the little time we have left.
 

When I pull up in front of the airport, I turn to look at him
and I realize that
he was already staring at me.
 

"I'm proud of you. Do you know how proud I am of you Sky? You're amazing and you’re smart. I know that you’re going to do great things, and you're going to continue to make me proud of you."
 

"Thank you Ari."
 

"I love you, Skylar Sebastian Montgomery."
 

"And I love you Arianna Natalia Benjamin."
 

We step out of the car and I help him get his bags out of the trunk. When we're done, we stand there gazing at each other.
 

"I'm going to miss you, Ari."
 

"Yeah? … I'm going to miss seeing your dimples."
I grin at him.
 

He laughs. "Really, just my dimples? I'm hurt." He says while laying his hand on his chest as if he's in pain.
 

I step into him and hug him. “I’m going to miss you. All of you Sky."
 

A police officer comes over and says, "Please move your vehicle. This is a no parking zone."
 

"Okay officer, we will."
Sky says without moving.
 

"Now." The officer commands.
 

He steps back and releases me.
"I better go, Ari." He grabs his bags and heads inside.
 

I nod and watch him disappear into the airport. The officer comes back. "Ma'am I need you to move on—now."
 

 I walk back to the car and I climb in. “Yeah I think I may need to move on too." With that, I drive away with a heavy feeling in my heart, and a great distance in the connection that I’ve always felt with Sky.
  

California King Bed
 

Skylar
 

I've been at school for a few weeks now and it hasn't been easy. Between trying to keep up with my classes, practice, talking to Ari, and sleeping there aren't enough hours in a day. I can feel her slipping away from me. But, aside from jumping on a plane and going home there is nothing more I can do until I settle down into a better routine. Its late afternoon and I have a little time before I have practice, so I decide to call Ari. The phone rings for a while and as I'm about to hang up she answers.
 

"Hey Sky."
 

"Hey pretty girl. What were you up to?"
 

In a bored tone she says, “Nothing just hanging out. You?"
 

"Just resting up before practice...I miss you Ari. I miss seeing you, touching
you
, and kissing your pretty lips. I especially miss seeing
you
smile."
 

I hear her breathe into the phone.  "I miss you
too
Sky."
 

"Say it." I whisper.
 

"Say what?"
 

"I know you Ari. What are you thinking?"
 

She pauses, and then I hear her take a deep breath. "Okay...I'm thinking if being together even makes sense anymore. Especially for you. God knows I love you, but is this even fair to us? I get panic attacks picturing you with someone
else...do you think I can handle this for a few years? How long before you give into temptation? And please don't bullshit me Sky!" She says in one breath.
 

"I'm not... I'm not going to lie to you Ari. But I'm not going to cheat on you either. I love you
!
There’s only you."
 

Softly she says, "Yeah, but for how long?"
 

"Forever. Until the day I die Ari." I whisper back.
 

"Don't promise me eternity and leave me Sky. It will kill me. Don't you understand I'm trying to save myself from the pain I know I'm going to feel eventually?"
 

"That's not going to happen baby."
 

"Let me go Sky...Please
,
let me go." She pleads.
 

I grit my teeth and I close my eyes tightly. "Is there someone else Ari?"
 

"There will never be anyone else but you. I'm afraid of what may happen. You're young and
you
never know
what may happen.
Girls are going to be offering themselves on a silver platter. And I'm not there with you Sky."
 

"I hear everything you're saying. I do. But I don't accept it. The love I feel for you surpasses any sexual need I may have. That's why we've never had sex Ari. I told you I would wait, and I am waiting. You know why? Because I love you. So trust me."
 

"I want too, I really want to."
 

With a determination I didn't know I possessed I say, "Then do it, Ari!"
 

She's quiet for a while. "Why can't I say no to you Sky?"
She sighs.
 

"Umm...because you love me." I say with a grin on my face.
 

"I do."
 

"Ari...?"
 

She whispers, "Yeah?"
 

"Do you still feel it?"
 

She takes a moment before she answers. But when she does, she answers so soft I almost miss it.
"I still feel it Sky... I feel it, but it's not the same. It's being stretched to a distance that I'm not sure about. But I trust you."
 

"It's only the distance baby. In a few weeks I'll be home for Thanksgiving, wait for me baby." I plead.
 

"I am waiting. Patiently waiting. "She says with a smile in her voice.