Uncle John’s Unstoppable Bathroom Reader (81 page)
Read Uncle John’s Unstoppable Bathroom Reader Online
Authors: Bathroom Readers Institute
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F
ELLOW BATHROOM READERS:
The fight for good bathroom reading should never be taken loosely—we must do our duty and sit firmly for what we believe in, even while the rest of the world is taking pot shots at us.
We’ll be brief: now that we’ve proven we’re not simply a flush-in-the-pan, we invite you to take the plunge: Sit Down and Be Counted! Become a member of the Bathroom Readers’ Institute. Send a self-addressed, stamped, business-sized envelope to: BRI, PO Box 1117, Ashland, Oregon 97520. You’ll receive your free membership card, receive discounts when ordering directly through the BRI, and earn a permanent spot on the BRI honor roll!
If you like reading our books…
VISIT THE BRI’S WEBSITE!
www.bathroomreader.com
• Visit “The Throne Room”—a great place to read!
• Receive our irregular newsletters via email
• Submit your own articles and ideas
• Order additional
Bathroom Readers
• Become a BRI member
Go with the Flow…
Well, we’re out of space, and when you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go. Tanks for all your support. Hope to hear from you soon. Meanwhile, remember:
Keep on flushin’!
Table of Contents
Short
Bathroom News
Happy Toilets
Medium
Uncle John’s Stall of Fame
Let’s Play Toilet Golf
File Under “Underwear”
Toilet Tech
The Doo-Doo Man
Uncle John’s Stall of Shame
Long
This Old (Out)house
The Outhouse Detectives
Short
Fun With Names
Medium
Name That Sleuth
Name That Country
Founding Fathers
Founding (hic!) Fathers
Short
What’s the Number for 911?
Medium
Oops!
Crème de la Crud
Fabulous Flops
Curtains!
Oops!
World-Class Losers
Short
Not What They Seem to Be
Myth-Conceptions
Medium
Hoaxmeister
Cat Tales
Urban Legends
You’ve Got Mail!
The Ice Worm Cometh
Long
Classic Publicity Stunts
Urban Legends
Coyote Rings the Wrong Bell
Short
Divorce, Prospector-Style
The Way of the Hobo
Medium
Filthy Water People
The Dustbin of History
Chair-leaders
Long
Land of the Giants
Free With Purchase
Short
(B)Ad Promotions
Pleased to Meat You
Medium
Space, Inc
Uncle John’s Second Favorite Roll
Weird-Mart
Funny Business
The Bigger They Are
Long
At the Auction
* The Worst Business Decision in U.S. History
Short
Things You Didn’t Know About WWII
Management Expects
Medium
The Mad Bomber, Part I
The Mad Bomber, Part II
Long
The Great Brinks Robbery
The Lady of the Lines
Intrepid: Master Spy
* The French Foreign Legion
Short
Household Origins
Medium
True Glue
Everyday Objects
Jumping for Joy
Long
How Paper Became Money, Part I
How Paper Became Money, Part II
Short
Word Origins
Medium
Familiar Phrases
Tawk O’ Da Town
Familiar Phrases
Word Origins
Short
Chicken Nuggets
The Bugs and the Bees
The Cat’s Meow
Medium
Die-Hard Chicken
Animal Name Origins
Heroic Birds
Long
Kibble Me This
Short
Wedding Trivia
Animal Superstitions
Cure For What Ails Ye
Food Superstitions
Medium
Maneki Neko
Card-Playing Superstitions
Now They Tell Us
Short
Icky Licky Sticks
How to Cook a Porcupine
Medium
Today’s Menu
What’s A Jeraboam?
Long
Birth of the Bagel
Short
Dumb Crooks of the Old West
Go Directly to Jail
Dumb Crooks
Medium
Celebrity Lawsuits
Strange Lawsuits
Dumb Crooks
Real Toys of the CIA
Celebrity Lawsuits
Strange Lawsuits
Long
* The Federal Witness Protection Program
Not-So-Wiseguys
Short
Lonely Phone Booth
Phone Phunnies
Medium
You Call This Art?
It’s a Weird, Weird World
Lucky Finds
Weird Canada
I Got It Back!
The Santa Chronicles
It’s a Weird, Weird World
Ironic, Isn’t It?