Unbroken Pleasures (21 page)

“Yes.”

“I want to watch
you.”

I felt
uncomfortable, flushed, but completely turned on. I stammered. I tried to turn
around to face him, to let him put his hands on me the way I’d been expecting
him to do but he held me in place refusing to let me turn to him.

“I can’t,” I
said at last.

He held the hand
on my belly in place and caressed my fingers lightly with his own while he
nibbled my neck and my ear. I nearly melted as his breath warmed my skin.

“I want to see
you touch yourself,” he said again insistently. I felt the bulge in his pants
as he pressed into my back.

“Reese…” I
wanted to plead with him, tell him that I’d do anything, just don’t make me do
that. I felt too open, too vulnerable. But I looked into his eyes and saw the
pure lust as he gazed back at me and I knew that no matter what he ever asked
me, I’d never be able to say no when he looked at me like that. I swallowed
hard. I’d never opened myself to someone like this before but before I could
have second thoughts, I let my hand slide down the outside of my panties and I
moaned as I grazed the most sensitive part through my panties. They were
drenched in my juices, wetting my fingers through the fabric as I traced light
circles. My eyes never left his eyes in the mirror. I could see his lust as he
watched me knowing that he wanted to touch me as much as I wanted to be touched
but holding back turned us both on even more.

I slipped my
hand inside my panties so that I could feel myself skin against skin as I watched
him intently, taking cues from his every expression and moan. I could still
feel him hard against the back of me and as much as I wanted to turn around and
take him into my hands and feel him slip inside, I resisted. I closed my eyes
and felt him nudge me the instant that I did.

“No,” he
whispered with hot breath against my ear, “Keep your eyes open. I want you to
watch this too.”

My breath had
grown ragged as I circled my clitoris with my index finger and spread the slick
juices. I opened my eyes and observed the pleasure in my face as I felt my body
give in to my fingers. I ached for more so I pressed harder against my
clitoris. My body responded.

“Take off your
panties,” he whispered again and this time he nibbled against my ear tasting me
and moaning in approval at my taste.

I hesitated and
he pulled away from me. I took my hand from my panties and started to nudge
them over my hips but I froze unable to face standing and looking at myself in
the mirror. He reached behind me and unhooked my bra tossing it aside in one
fluid motion and then reached around to cup one breast in each hand. His hands
felt warm against my bare flesh. He pinched my nipples gently and nibbled
against my ear again.

“Do it,” he
insisted.

“I can’t,” I
said barely above a whisper.

He let his hands
slide down my sides to my hips and latched one finger on each side of my
panties. He guided them down around my ankles leaving me only to step out of
them and kick them aside. I stared at my naked reflection as though I were
looking at my body through his eyes and saw myself in a whole new light. I
liked the way my breasts curved. They were ample enough to fill his hands
without dominating my otherwise slim figure. My stomach wasn’t supermodel flat
but I wasn’t flabby either. I let my hand trail across my stomach before
touching the soft mound of hair between my legs which I kept neatly trimmed
despite the fact that before Reese, I didn’t have much occasion for anyone to
see it other than myself. I liked the way that the shorter hair allowed me to
see more of myself that would have otherwise been hidden.

Reese was
looking at the space between my legs as well and I could tell that he was
nearly panting in anticipation of touching me there. I watched his reaction as
my fingers disappeared between the folds. I could feel his body tense. He liked
watching me, maybe he liked it even more than he liked watching the couple in
the window. This thought spurred me to give him more of a show so I spread my
legs a little wider to give me greater access to touching and caressing myself.
I could see in his eyes that his excitement was growing.

“I need to see
more of you,” he growled, “It’s not enough.”

I spread my legs
a little more but he shook his head.

“No, it’s not
enough.”

He put his hands
on my shoulders and pushed me toward the floor until I was on my knees. I
looked at his reflection in confusion, not sure what he wanted me to do but so
aroused that I was willing to do whatever I could to please him. I started to
turn away from the mirror so that I could face him but he held me in place,
clearly determined to finish what we started in front of the mirror.

He sat down in a
crossed leg position and pulled me back so that I was sitting in his lap. He
guided one of my legs over one of his and then took my other leg to cross over
his other leg. This put me in a very open position leaving nothing to the
imagination. I sat staring at the two of us for a very long time, impossible
not to linger on the swollen wet space between my legs that still longed to be
touched and caressed.

“Now touch
yourself,” he prompted me.

This time I
didn’t hesitate. This time I wanted to touch myself while he watched me as much
as he wanted it. I stroked softly at first but as the need inside me built and
I felt myself threaten to teeter over the edge, I built more momentum and my
fingers gained more purpose. My only thought and goal was to push myself over
that cliff until I shuddered and shivered in his arms. Just as I felt the
pressure begin to build and I was ready to give in to those first waves of
pleasure, he startled me by reaching out and putting his hand over mine to stop
me.

“What are you
doing?” I managed to say between breaths. I didn’t want to stop. I couldn’t let
him push me so far and then make me stop just before what promised to be a
rather intense release. I practically moaned in response, thinking only of the
pleasure that I wanted to feel with him.

“That is
enough,” he said and I could see the smile on his face.

“What do you
mean it’s enough?” I said suddenly confused.

“I enjoy
watching you pleasure yourself,” he whispered into my ear as he slid his hands
under my behind and pushed me up from his lap so that I was on my knees again.

“But I didn’t…”

“I know you
didn’t,” he interrupted. He started to get up from the floor and I couldn’t
believe that he was going to just leave me like that without a release after
the sensitive state he’d made me put myself into. I couldn’t take it anymore,
the way he always insisted on taking all the control and then deciding that it
was enough and walking away from me. Without thinking about it, I reached out
and grabbed onto his legs before he could move away from me. He lost his
balance and nearly fell to the ground, grunting a curse word under his breath
as he fought to right himself.

I crawled my way
from my knees to my feet as I used his clothing to pull myself upward. I spread
my palms and felt the tight muscles under his clothes as I moved my hands over
his body. I knew I couldn’t wait a moment longer. I pulled his shirt free from
his pants and lifted it over his head without waiting to make sure he agreed
with this plan. He didn’t resist me. My lips found his as I fought to unsnap
and release the zipper of his pants, eager to put my hands inside to find what
I needed. I was not disappointed to find that his current state of frustration
matched my own.  

I pushed his
pants and underwear down quickly while I simultaneously propelled us both
toward my bed. I’m not sure how he managed to maintain his balance but somehow
when we landed, he was the soft cushion underneath me and we were safely
planted on my bed in a frenzy of arms and legs and sensuous kisses. I couldn’t
get enough of him.

“Slow down,” he
tried to say as I smothered him in kisses but I didn’t want to hear it. I was
finished taking orders. This time I had my own agenda and that agenda involved
feeling him inside me as the soonest possible moment. I wrapped my legs firmly
around his waist and reached down to guide him to the slickness between my
legs. He tried to stop at first but I knew he needed me just as much. I felt
him give in with a groan as he disappeared inside. I pressed firmly as though
he might suddenly decide to break free from me. I wasn’t about to let that
happen. I grinded myself against him until I felt like I would scream and when
my orgasm finally hit, I didn’t just fall off the edge of the cliff, I
propelled myself over the edge with the greatest force I’d ever felt. Wave
after wave, it hit me. He joined me in our erotic bliss and we both collapsed exhausted
together afterward, a tangle of arms and legs and skin against skin that was
becoming intoxicating and all too familiar to me. I was dangerously close to
being lost in those feelings forever.

I stroked the
light hair on his chest absent-mindedly as we both lay silently together.

“I have to go to
a family picnic in a few weeks,” I said out loud, not sure if I was really
entertaining the notion of inviting him with me or not. He didn’t say anything.
I propped myself up on one elbow to make sure that he was still awake. His eyes
were open staring at the ceiling but I couldn’t tell what thoughts occupied his
mind. If I had to venture a guess, I would say that he was concerned about
something.

“Are you close
with your family?” I asked him.

“Not so much anymore,”
he answered. I had the impression that he wanted to say more but he held back.

“Something
happened.” I let the statement trail off, wondering if he would feel compelled
to fill in the blanks but of course, he did not. He remained silent but he lifted
his head to kiss the top of mine before returning his gaze to my ceiling. I
rolled onto my back and looked up wondering what he found so interesting up
there.

“It’s a very
long story,” he said surprising me from our silence.

“I have time and
I’m a very good listener.”

“Maybe another
day.”

“Sure.”

“You are close
with yours?”

“Well, I don’t
see them very much. Most of my family is spread out. It’s going to be a two
hour drive to get to this picnic and I can’t say I’m really looking forward to
it.”

“You don’t want
to see them?”

“It’s not that I
don’t want to see my family. It’s just that ever since my divorce, everyone
looks at me differently.”

“How so?”

“I don’t know. I
feel like everyone blames me for what happened.”

“I doubt they
do.”

“I’m still
single. I’m sure they all wonder why I can’t keep a man in my life. I’m
starting to wonder it myself.” I stopped, realizing that I was probably telling
him way more than he wanted to know about my messed up state of being. Over the
past year, I’d avoided men and dating and the whole fiasco that went with it,
unwilling or unable to trust enough to make any relationship work. If he
already had reservations about wanting to be a part of my life, I was certain that
I wasn’t helping my case.

“Your ex husband
is an idiot for letting you go,” he said.

I didn’t know
what to say. I exhaled slowly thinking of Ed and the way we’d been together
wondering if he ever thought about me or missed being with me. I couldn’t
imagine it. He was so quick to move on after our separation that I got the
impression that he couldn’t get away fast enough. I shrugged my shoulders
lightly.

“You could come
with me,” I said. I shocked myself by saying it. I hadn’t planned on inviting
him but yet I couldn’t seem to stop myself from saying the words.

“To meet your
family?”

“Yes.”

“I’m not the
sort of guy that you take home to meet mom and dad,” he said laughing lightly.
Was he truly amused by my invitation or had I made him nervous about the
assumption that we could be more than just fun in bed?

“Why not?”

“I’m just not.”

“How do you know
Sylvia,” I asked him trying to hide the hurt and wishing someone would give me
answers.

“Did she tell
you about me?” he asked avoiding a direct answer to my question.

“No,” I said
sitting up and wrapping the sheet around me, “Did you go out with her?”

“No.”

Well, that was a
relief but just to be clear, I asked him, “Did you sleep with her?”

“No,” he said
more agitated.

“Then why does
she hate you so much?”

“She hates me?”

“She thinks that
me with you is a really bad idea.”

“Well, maybe
she’s right.”

He got up and
started putting his clothes back on while I sat in the bed dumbfounded.

“Is that what
you really think?”

“This is fun,”
he said bending forward to kiss me, “but it can’t be more.”

“But…”

“I’m sorry, Alexandra.
I wish it could be.”

“Why can’t it, Reese?
Why won’t you tell me anything about who you are?”

He sighed.

“I’ve done a lot
of things in my life I regret. You deserve more in your life than I could ever
give you.”

“Shouldn’t that
be my choice?”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying
that and just answer my question.”

I got up and
stuffed my legs into my jeans and pulled a sweatshirt over my head as he
started making his way for my front door. I was not going to let him have the
upper hand again by just walking out again.

“What is it that
you’re so afraid of?” I asked putting my body between him and the front door.

“Alex, please,
don’t try to complicate something that doesn’t need to be complicated.”

“You’re right
about one thing, Reese. This doesn’t have to be complicated at all. I really
like you.”

“I’ve hurt
people in my life. That’s why your friend hates me. No one regrets what
happened more than I do. I’m still paying a price for it every day but I’ll
never forgive myself and I don’t deserve forgiveness. Most of all, I don’t
deserve someone as wonderful as you.”