Truly Madly Deeply Boxed Set (7 page)

“Good. So for the duration, no more jumping to negative conclusions and unwarranted assumptions. Agreed?” she asked.

“Agreed. What else?”

“Watch it, counselor. I might begin to think you’re easy.”

His eyes focused on her lips. “As I said, we’ll see.”

Flustered by his double meaning and wanting what she could not let herself have, she rushed on. “I’ll give you all my free time.”

Pleased he’d made progress, Griff smiled. “And we appreciate it.”

“Unfortunately, when you look at my days, that isn’t saying much. There are a lot of times I won’t be available.”

Her words brought forth a well of disappointment so strong Griff was blindsided. “Those are the obligations you spoke of earlier?” She hadn’t outright denied they were social in nature and she guessed that Griff couldn’t help wondering about the extent of her involvement with other men.

“Yes.”

“Whatever you can arrange with your schedule, I’d... we’d appreciate it. You’ve already seen what a difference you make.”

“In the end, you might find that it’s just coincidence.”

He studied her intently. “I don’t think so.”

“I think you overestimate my capabilities, Griff. Alix reacted to an aunt she knows, but not as well as she knows you. I pay attention to her and she performs for me. Give her a chance and she’ll be testing me just as much as she tests you.”

“You seem very knowledgeable about children. Sure you haven’t got one or two stashed away that no one knows about?”

Heavy silence descended upon him like fog. The flash of pain that crossed her features could only be described as grief. He should know. The first week after his brother’s death, he steadfastly avoided the bathroom mirror. He hadn’t bothered to shave until Ryan made a poor joke about his appearance frightening Alix.

Griff glanced again at Chelsie. With her arms wrapped around her body, she reminded him of a lost child. He was struck by the urge to enfold her in his arms and chase away her unknown demons. Based on their previous encounters, his abrupt ending to their kiss included, he doubted she’d let him near. And, he reminded himself, he shouldn’t want to try.

She sucked in a shaky breath and plastered a fake smile on her face. Her valiant effort to compose herself pierced his heart. His intended joke had obviously hit a very tender nerve.

“No children in the closet,” she joked. “Just some family skeletons.”

“Glad to hear it. Now, what type of schedule did you have in mind?”

She jumped at the new topic, animation sparking her voice. But he didn’t have to dig deep to notice pain still lurked in the depths of her eyes. “I could come by for supper sometime. That is, if the offer’s still open.”

“It is. What about your caseload?”

“I’ll take one day at a time. If things become unmanageable...”

“Let me know. We’ll work something out. You’re referring more cases than you’d like and I’m building a practice. I think we could help each other.”

She cocked her head to one side. “Really? You aren’t even sure you like me.”

If you only knew
. His mind reminded him of how little time she had spent with Alix in the past, of the custody case and her initial rejection of his plea for help. Yet no matter how strong his distrust, he sensed there was much more to Chelsie Russell than he’d seen so far. His body certainly wanted to know her better, and their time together would be a trial in the truest sense of the word.

Being close to Chelsie and not allowing desire to flare between them wouldn’t be easy. If he were smart, he’d make sure they spent only necessary time together, the hours needed for Alix’s well being and nothing more. So why did he find himself pushing for more than she wanted to give? Not a smart move, he silently cautioned. Especially because where she was concerned, he had no intention of giving in return.

So why had he even mentioned a business arrangement?

“Don’t rush into anything you’ll regret,” she cautioned, echoing his silent sentiments. “It’s one thing to have me around for an hour or so a day. Working together is a whole different story. This arrangement is meant to help Alix. It’s temporary.”

He knew that. He’d planned things that way. So why did her pragmatic insistence on a short-term arrangement bother him?

“Which brings me to my next point.”

“Anyone ever tell you you’re long winded?”

She grinned. “Every judge in family court.”

“I thought so.”

“Those obligations keep me busy two nights a week and some weekends.” She paused, obviously deliberating how much to tell him. “I volunteer at a women’s shelter downtown.”

He’d been expecting something more personal than volunteer work. Something akin to a jealous lover. Relief overwhelmed him, followed by frustration. What she did with her free time was none of his concern. He knew better than to care. He admired her dedication, but wondered at her initial reticence to discuss the subject. Helping others was nothing to be ashamed of, and it enabled him to rethink his opinion of her selfish nature.

Griff did not want another reason to like Chelsie or want her around. He cleared his throat. “I have no intention of interfering with your life. I appreciate the help, however much or little you can give. Your tour of duty will be over before you know it,” he said, forcing a laugh.

She didn’t laugh with him, testament to how difficult this entire situation had become for both of them.

“Before we make this definite, think about what you’re asking,” she said. “What happens when you decide Alix is doing well enough that you can throw me out of her life
again?
” she asked.

He winced at the blunt way she’d phrased her thoughts. Had he been that callous with her? Of course he had. “You’re her aunt. Why don’t we take things one day at a time, as you said?”

Chelsie shook her head. “She’s a child. One who’s lost both parents,” she said gently. “You can’t toss people in and out of her life and expect her to adjust.”

Again he’d underestimated her. When Chelsie cared, she cared deeply. No one had ever focused that sort of emotional attention on him, and Griff had little time or understanding for deep-seated affection. Ryan’s constant friendship and, until recently, Griff’s relationship with his brother’s family were the only exceptions. Thanks to his guardianship of Alix, he’d been thrown into the fire, but it was impossible not to give back to a little girl who gave everything and needed even more. But children were different, unjaded—until they grew up and learned to manipulate.

But here was Chelsie, fighting for her sister’s child, showing love Griff hadn’t even known she had in her. Glancing over, he wondered how it would feel to be the recipient of such unconditional love.
Wonder all you want, buddy. You’ll never know
.
He’d been trampled on twice. Only a fool set himself up for a third time.

Still, he admired Chelsie’s foresight He had only thought as far as bringing her into their lives, not edging her out. For some reason, he didn’t want to dwell on the end of a relationship they hadn’t even begun. “We’ll work things out,” he heard himself say. He had no idea how.

She leaned forward, gesturing with her hands as she spoke. “People aren’t made of stone,
counselor
. They can’t suffer loss upon loss and be expected to cope. You can’t dictate how they live their lives.” She sat back against the couch and crossed her arms over her chest.

He narrowed his eyes. Just who was she talking about? Alix, obviously. He already sensed her innate feelings for the little girl, and he wouldn’t deny Chelsie visits. Surely she knew that.

That left Chelsie herself. Without a better road map to her feelings, he couldn’t figure out where to go from here. “Just what do you want me to say?” he asked.

“If I’m going to have any part in this, I need to know I’ll have a say in how things end. That when I stop coming by on an almost daily basis, she won’t think she’s been abandoned again.” Her voice cracked under the strain of her emotions.

From the determined look on her face, Griff knew unless he came up with a satisfactory answer, she’d walk out and find a way to see her niece on her own. But he found himself at a loss.

Was he prepared to give her a role in deciding what was best for Alix? That necessitated a leap of faith in Chelsie he wasn’t sure he was prepared to make. He’d just lost an internal struggle and accepted the notion that he needed her help, accepted her presence in their lives, if not his strong desire to know her better.

She claimed to want a say in when and how they parted. An innocuous idea, in and of itself. But what if he wanted to end their arrangement before she felt it was time? Worse, what if he and Alix weren’t ready when Chelsie decided to call it quits? His mother had walked out. So had Deidre.

He looked at the woman sitting across from him, her angular jaw set, her fists clenched, and her dark eyes full of emotion. She already affected him on too many levels. Could he give her the power to hurt him as well?

Alix cried out in her sleep. Griff jumped to his feet, but she’d quieted again. He’d need to check on her in a minute.

“Well?” Chelsie asked.

Leaning against the mantel for support, he focused on the ever-present picture of Jared.
Help me out here, little brother.
No response came.

Griff thought of his niece. Did Chelsie’s ability to hurt him really matter in the scheme of things? Hell, yes. Did he have a choice? Absolutely not.

He looked at Chelsie. “There’s no need for you to contemplate walking out of Alix’s life. You’ll always be important to her, her one link to her mother. You’ll get a vote in how things go,” he said with more certainty than he felt.

He’d given her more than she asked for. Once the decision had been made, he couldn’t seem to help himself. Her emotions, which always seemed to bubble at the surface and which she did little to hide, affected him in myriad ways, none of which he understood.

“Thank you.” Her eyes misted, sparkling with unshed tears.

“You’re welcome.” Griff sensed her reaction went beyond gratitude. He’d missed an important clue, a key to understanding Chelsie better. But he wasn’t about to push. Alix needed him and they’d covered enough ground for one night. There would be plenty more.

“I knew you’d see how important it is for Alix that we end this family-like scenario correctly when the time comes. We’ll work it out. After all, we’re doing this for her, remember?”

* * *

Mrs. Baxter finished the last of her dinner and placed her napkin on the table. “This is the first night Mr. Stuart hasn’t made it home for dinner since I started working here.”

Chelsie smiled. “That’s because his practice is picking up. There’s not a lawyer alive who doesn’t understand the meaning of long hours. Don’t throw your food, sweety.” She bent to retrieve the vegetables Alix had not so subtly dropped on the floor.

“Well, I’m sure he feels more comfortable staying out knowing you’re here.”

“I’m sure he does.”

Griff probably welcomed the reprieve from the polite formality of the last few evenings.
Please pass the salt. Thanks. Silence. Please pass the potatoes. Thank you.
More silence.
Dessert? None for me, thanks
. Chelsie nearly cringed at the memory. Only Alix had rescued them from freezing around each other completely.

“Since you’ve agreed to come by, he’s much more relaxed. Even Alix senses the change.”

Chelsie arched an eyebrow. Had the older woman slept through the last few evenings? “Relaxed is hardly the word I’d use.” Chelsie redirected Alix’s spoon away from her hair.

“I’m not talking about the Cold War you two have set up.” Mrs. Baxter chuckled. “Tension’s been so thick you could cut it with a butter knife.” She patted Chelsie’s hand. “You’ll get used to each other. This arrangement’s a blessing.”

“You mean you don’t mind? I was concerned you’d feel slighted.”

“By you? You’re her aunt, for goodness sake. Besides, before I took this job, I suggested to Mr. Stuart that he might want to hire someone younger for this position. Cooking, cleaning, keeping up with a two year old. Whew,” she said, wiping a hand over her brow.

Chelsie laughed, but she knew the woman’s gray hair was an illusion and that she had both the stamina and the desire to care for the little girl. “What did he say?”

“That he didn’t need some young girl practicing at playing mommy. Asked me if I could handle the job, and when I agreed, he hired me. But I don’t mind telling you, the days are long.”

“How have the nights been this past week?” Chelsie knew her scheduled time with the little girl, as well as with Griff, hinged upon Alix’s moods and sleeping patterns.

“After the day I put in, I pretty much sleep like the dead. Mr. Stuart says they’re still the same. But Alix isn’t. She’s a happier child.”

“I’m glad for that, but time works miracles. Like I told Griff, you might find her emotional recovery and my presence are just coincidence.”

She shook her head. “Nonsense. Anyway, you lighten my load, and that’s a big help.”

“Unfortunately, it’s only temporary.”

“We’ll see.” A kindly smile touched Mrs. Baxter’s lips.

Chelsie ignored the comment. If the older woman held out any hopes of something permanent forming between her and Griff, she’d be disappointed. They could barely manage to relax enough to be in the same room. Not that Chelsie wasn’t fully aware of him every moment they were together. She just wasn’t fool enough to act on the attraction.

Chelsie reached for the dirty dishes.

“I can handle things in here,” Mrs. Baxter said, taking the plate out of Chelsie’s hands.

“Okay. I’ll give little Miss Manners here a bath.”

She scooped up the child and began the ritual that was now second nature. Funny how fast she’d fallen into the mommy role. The thought frightened her, because it was the very thing she’d promised herself would not happen.

Alix shrieked and smacked her chubby hands against the water, causing a small wave to cascade over the side of the tub and drench Chelsie’s shirt. Chelsie pulled at the beige silk camisole and groaned. “Good going, squirt. Now I’ll have to stop home before I go back to the office.”