Trade Off (27 page)
“Say something,” she pleaded, trying not to cry.
“I’m not sure what to say.” He held up the folded document. “What does this mean? Why the hell did you sell your condo without talkin’ to me about it first? I thought we were a couple. I thought we made decisions together?” The confusion was quickly replaced by frustration as he tossed the papers down on the bed. “So, what are your plans?”
God, this was so humiliating. How was she supposed to tell him the truth, that she’d already moved her belongings into his home? Aiden was out of town for an away game last night, and she asked Ryan and Evan Spencer to help her with the move, swearing them to secrecy so she could surprise Aiden after tonight’s game.
Some surprise.
She could tell him she’d planned to buy another place to save her pride, but the clothes hanging in his closet would prove her a liar. “I’m sorry, I…”
Aiden felt physically sick. He recognized that tremble in her voice. He’d heard it once before when she told him it was over between them. He thought things were going so well. He allowed himself to believe it was only a matter of time before she let down her defenses and let him in completely. How had he misread the situation? When she was in his arms, making love to him, sharing a meal at his kitchen table, or curling up on the couch to watch her favorite reality TV show, it felt so perfect, so right, as though they were both exactly where they were supposed to be.
He tried to keep his voice steady when he said, “Just tell me why you’re doin’ this.”
“I thought it was the right time.”
She was wringing her hands, trying to blink back the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks, but Aiden couldn’t feel any sympathy for her, not this time. “Just get out.”
The color seeped out of her face as she swallowed. “What did you say?”
“I said get the hell out. I can’t do this anymore.” He walked past her, intent on leaving the room when her soft sobs stopped him in his tracks. “Don’t do that. Don’t make me feel like this is my fault.”
“It’s not.”
She sat down on the edge of the bed, looking miserable and so beautiful his body couldn’t resist stirring in response.
“Sela, I’m only human, damn it. Did you think I could go on like this forever?” He raked his hand through his hair, cursing softly when she swiped her cheeks with trembling hands.
“I don’t have anywhere to go.” She took a deep breath, as though she was intent on pulling herself together. “Would it be okay if I spent the night?” When he didn’t respond, she said, “In the guest room, of course.”
Aiden shook his head, trying to make sense of what she was telling him. “Wait a second, you’ve already moved out of your condo?”
“Yesterday. Didn’t you look at the date on those papers?”
“No, I guess I didn’t. I don’t get it, where are your things?”
“Here,” she said quietly as she looked down at her clasped hands.
“What the hell...” He walked over to his walk-in closet and threw the door open. He stared at her colorful dresses hanging next to his dark suits and he wanted to hit his knees and shout his gratitude, but first he knew he had some groveling to do. “Baby, I…”
“It’s okay,” she said, sniffling. “I knew this was a bad idea. In my gut, I knew I was taking a risk, but…” She sniffled again. “I thought it was my turn to take a chance on us. You’ve put yourself out there for so long. I thought it was my turn to do the same.” She shrugged. “I guess I was too late.”
He’d never intended to hurt her or make her question what they had, but fear and memories of a past heartache made him jump to the worst possible conclusion. “I’m sorry,” he said, crossing the room before kneeling down in front of her.
“You have nothing to apologize for. You didn’t do anything wrong.” She withdrew her hands when he tried to hold them. “This is all on me,
again
. I made the mistake. I waited too long, or…” She tugged on her bottom lip with her teeth. “I don’t know, maybe it’s no one’s fault. Maybe we just weren’t meant to be.”
Aiden’s stomach dropped when he realized she was ready to give up on him. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her slightly to get her attention. “Don’t do that. Don’t give up on me, on us.”
She frowned. “What are you talking about? I thought you wanted—”
He stole her words with a mind-numbing kiss. “You thought wrong.”
“You mean you’re not mad that I moved my stuff in without asking you?”
He threw his head back and laughed, coaxing a hint of a smile from her. “Mad? Are you kiddin’? This is what I’ve been prayin’ for, sweetheart. You’ve gotta know that.”
“I thought I did, but you got so angry when you found out I sold my place…”
“I was pissed ’cause I thought you were tryin’ to bail on me again. I want to build a life with you, and I thought you were makin’ plans on your own again, leavin’ me out of it.”
She smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I kind of did leave you out of it. Sorry about that.”
“Honey, this is the best surprise I’ve ever had. This is the only thing I’ve ever wanted, you and me, livin’ together, buildin’ a life together…” He wanted to say so much more, but she’d already taken a big step, and he didn’t know if she was willing to go any further just yet.
“You can say anything to me, Aiden.” She smiled as she stroked his face. “Don’t ever be afraid to tell me what’s on your mind or in your heart.”
He took a deep breath as he cursed himself for being greedy. He should be satisfied that she was finally willing to meet him halfway, but he’d never been able to hold back where this woman was concerned, and he knew the only thing that would ever give him peace of mind was knowing that she was his
forever
. “I love you, more than anything.” He cupped her cheek in his hand. His voice was hoarse when he said, “I just wanna be with you, every day for the rest of our lives. I know you’re not there yet, but…”
“I am,” she whispered, looking up at him from beneath her tear-streaked lashes.
He could have sworn his heart stopped for a beat before he asked, “What did you say?”
“I’ve been such a fool.” She braced her hands on his shoulders as she looked him in the eye. “I’ve wasted months. Hell, I’ve wasted years trying to prove to you and myself that I don’t need a man, any man, to make me happy. Well, guess what? I do
. I need you
.”
He closed his eyes, reveling in her quiet admission. He’d lost count of the days, weeks, months, years he waited to hear her say those words again. Just when he was about to give up hope and settle for the little she seemed able to give, she decided to give him everything.
He lowered his head, touching his forehead to her knees as he struggled to pull himself together. There was so much he wanted to say, needed to say, but he couldn’t get a word past the lump lodged in his throat.
“It’s okay,” she said, sliding to the ground with him. “You don’t have to say anything.” She began freeing the buttons on his shirt, kissing each inch of skin she bared until she was pushing his shirt to the ground and reaching for his belt buckle.
He watched her strip him of his clothes as his mind rehearsed everything he wanted to say when he could finally find his voice without losing control. He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve his moment in the spotlight, being rewarded with the woman he loved more than life itself welcoming him home, but he’d trade years of his life for this single moment when everything in his life was
perfect
.
“I love you,” she whispered, trailing kisses over his abdomen. “I want to be your wife…”
He groaned when she slid his cotton boxers over his hips and sheathed him in her hand while her silky hair glided over his sensitive skin.
“I want to have your babies…”
He watched, mesmerized as she took him in her mouth, pouring all of her passion into his pleasure. There was no way he would let the most perfect night of his life end like this. She, not hockey’s ultimate prize, was the reason for his bliss, and he intended to reward her properly, thoroughly, all night long.
Gripping her shoulders, he eased her back on the blanket she’d placed in front of the fire she started in the wood burning fireplace. “I love you,” he whispered, settling in between her legs. They were the only words he could force out, but he knew they were the only words that mattered. He laved her breasts until she pleaded with him to give her more.
“Everything…” He kissed her neck as he slid into his own ecstasy. “I want to give you everything.” And he knew he would, or at least spend every day for the rest of their lives trying.
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