Trade Off (26 page)

“Then don’t try holdin’ on to her so damn tight. That’s a sure-fire way to scare her away.”

Aiden released a shaky breath. That was the last thing he wanted to do. If Trey was right, he needed to figure out how to let go. He just prayed if he found the courage to set her free, she’d find her way back to him one last time.

Sela was trying to enjoy Ty’s soothing ballad, but it wasn’t easy when her thoughts kept drifting to Aiden. She’d expected him to make an appearance by now. She was anxious to talk to him, to try to come to a truce so they could move forward and try to rebuild their relationship.

Someone came up behind her, placing a hand on her shoulder. She’d hoped to see Aiden, but it was Trey smiling down at her.

“There’s someone in Josh’s office who’d like to have a word with you.”

“Thanks, Trey.”

He winked. “Good luck, darlin’. I hope you two find a way to work it out.” He reached out to grab her arm when she headed for the stairs. “Don’t ever doubt how much he loves you, Sela.”

She let Trey’s words sink in as she made her way up the winding staircase. In spite of her vow to put the past behind her, moments like these, when the guilt resurfaced, reminded her that she had done nothing to deserve his love. Nor did she have the right to expect his patience and understanding.

Sela tapped on the door and waited for Aiden’s response before she turned the knob. He was bent over with his back to the door, stoking the fire, and he looked so sexy in the glow of the firelight that her breath caught in her throat. Did she really have the courage to stand her ground when thousands of women out there would gladly trade places with her in a heartbeat?

“Come on in,” he said over his shoulder. “We need to talk.”

Something in the way he issued the quiet command had her gut clenching. She didn’t want to lose their last chance at forever, but she couldn’t bear to disappoint him again either. When she agreed to be his wife, she wanted to be certain that she could promise him an eternity of love and laughter, because he deserved nothing less.

She sat on the edge of the two-seater sofa and waited for him to join her. The room was small and cozy with rich, hand carved wood panels decorating the walls. The perfect place for an intimate conversation about the future, if only she had reason to be optimistic.

He sat down beside her, angling his arm along the top of the cushions. “I’ve thought a lot about what you said. In fact, I haven’t thought about much else this week.” He scowled. “You could probably tell that, given my performance tonight.”

She touched his knee, desperate to rekindle the connection they’d always shared. In spite of the warmth in the room, there was a chill in the air, radiating from him. “I thought you were great.”

He rolled his eyes. “Spare me the false praise. I know when I suck.”

“I know you didn’t call me in here to talk about hockey, Aiden.”

“No, I didn’t.” He took a deep breath as he glanced at the flames flickering against the glass pane. “I need to know where we go from here.”

She knew she could put his mind at ease by telling him what he wanted to hear, but that wouldn’t be fair to either one of them. “I’ve decided it’s time for me to close my business.”

He looked surprised by her announcement as he inched back on the cushion to face her. “Why would you want to do that? You love what you do.”

“There are parts of it that I love and parts that I hate. If I joined another agency, it would allow me to do what I enjoy the most, without having to worry about the other stuff.”

He nodded. “I guess that makes sense. It’s a big decision though. Are you sure that’s what you want? You’ve got a lot goin’ on right now, with the divorce and all. Maybe you should take a bit more time to think about it before you decide.”

“It’s what I need to do.” She removed her hand from his leg when it became apparent he wasn’t planning to reciprocate. “I haven’t been happy for a long time, and that’s my fault. I can’t blame Neil or my marriage. It’s all on me.”

“I don’t know that I agree with that. I think if you’d married the
right
man, you’d have been a hell of a lot happier.” He smiled, and she finally felt like she could breathe again. “Of course, I’ll admit to bein’ a little biased.”

“You’re probably right, but we can’t go back, can we?”

“No,” he said, quietly. “As much as I’d like to rewrite history, we can’t do that.”

“What we can do is build a better, stronger, healthier relationship than we had before.”

He smiled as he stroked her cheek with his index finger. “I like the sound of that. Go on.”

“Well, I think closing the business will relieve a lot of the stress I’ve been feeling. It will also free up time for me to pursue other things.”

He shifted closer. “Like?”

“Well, you and I could spend more time together, when you’re in town, that is.”

He kissed her lips gently, tentatively. “Go on.”

“And it would give me time for other things, like painting.”

“I always thought it was a damn shame you let a talent like that go to waste.”

He always was her biggest fan. No matter what she wanted to accomplish, he was the person who made her believe anything was possible if she learned to believe in herself as much as he believed in her. “I love painting. It’s like my safe haven when the rest of the world seems so chaotic.” She shrugged. “Unfortunately, I don’t have a studio anymore.”

“Well, it just so happens that I have a house with quite a few empty bedrooms. If you’re real nice to me, I might give you your own key so you can come and go as you please.”

She knew he wanted more, but the fact that he was willing to compromise and let things progress at a slower pace proved to her that he was always going to put her needs above his own. He was still the same man she’d fallen in love with, only better. He’d learned from his mistakes, as she had, matured, decided what was important to him. “I’d love that. Thank you.”

“Anything for you, you know that.”

“I’ve always enjoyed cooking too.” She leaned her head on his shoulder, doing her best to garner sympathy for her plight. “Of course, I had to make some sacrifices with the new place, so I got a great location with a tiny kitchen. I love cooking, but it’s no fun if there’s no one there to praise your efforts.”

With his tongue firmly planted in cheek, he said, “As long as you’re gonna have a studio at my house, you should feel free to use the kitchen too.”

“Really?” She blinked up at him, doing her best to keep a straight face. “You’re sure you wouldn’t mind?”

“Not as long as you promise to let me share those fancy meals from time to time.”

She pretended to consider her options for a beat before she said, “I think that can be arranged.”

“Glad to hear it.” He stole a kiss, moving in to deepen it when she wound her arms around his neck. When they finally broke apart, he leaned his forehead against hers. “I’m not gonna lose you again. Whatever it takes to make this work, no matter how long it takes, I’m in this for the long haul.”

“Me too.” She caressed his face, knowing her next painting would be of him. Not the boy he used to be a lifetime ago or the fiercely determined professional athlete who’d captured the hearts of millions, but
her
Aiden. The man who gave his heart to her as a boy and never thought to ask for it back, even when she broke it beyond repair. “I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you, and I never, ever will.”

He framed her face with his hands and stared into her eyes a long time before he said, “That’s the only thing that matters to me. I’m not gonna lie, I’d love you to sleep in my bed every night, wear my ring, share my last name, but as long as I know that your heart belongs to me, and only me, the rest is just a bonus.”

“I want it all. We’ll have it all someday soon, I promise. I just need a little more time to figure out what makes
me
happy, Aiden. Aside from you, of course.”

He brushed his lips back and forth across hers, taunting and teasing when she tried to deepen the kiss. “Take all the time you need, baby. I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

Nine Months Later

Aiden’s team had finally won the Cup, for the first time in their franchise history, but instead of sticking around to help them celebrate, Sela decided to return to Aiden’s home and plan their own private celebration. One she hoped would make the best night of his life even better.

They had spent every possible moment together for the better part of the last year, and he was wonderful. Supportive, compassionate, and nurturing as she pursued her goals and re-built her life after the divorce. It took a brief phone conversation with her ex-husband for her to realize Aiden was sacrificing his own happiness to give her what she wanted.

Sharon and her husband had recently had their baby, and Aiden visited with Sela, complimenting their friends on the new addition to their family and wishing them well. But he said nothing to her about what that visit cost him.

In recent months, Aiden and Neil had slowly started rebuilding their shattered friendship and he confided in his friend about how much he loved Sela and wanted to start their life together. He wanted what Sharon and her husband had: a beautiful family, stability, and the promise of a future with the woman he loved.

Tonight Sela intended to reward his patience.

The sound of the front door alerted her to his presence and she took one last look in the full-length mirror before making her way to the top of the stairs.

He looked up at the sound of her footsteps on the hardwood floor and his mouth fell open. “Oh wow. I was disappointed when you didn’t stick around to help us celebrate, but now… wow,” he whispered, letting his eyes travel hungrily over every inch of her body before finally settling on her eyes. “You look incredible.”

She’d taken great care to select the perfect lingerie for the occasion. White with satin and lace embellishments. It spoke of transparency, purity, and new beginnings, something she hoped tonight would represent for them. She let the fur-trimmed sheer robe fall open to reveal the bustier and matching panties beneath as she made her way down the stairs to greet him. “Congratulations,” she whispered, reaching out to him.

He’d been the hero in tonight’s game, scoring a hat-trick, including the game-winning goal that led their team to victory, but she couldn’t concentrate on the game because her mind kept drifting back to the surprise she planned for him at home.

His house had slowly, but surely become her home in recent months. Her own apartment served as a stopping point to pick up more clothes or check the mail, but whenever Aiden suggested she consider putting her place on the market, she resisted. She wasn’t ready to relinquish her newfound independence, but she knew Aiden saw it as an escape route in case their relationship didn’t work out.

Tonight she intended to close the door on the past, firmly and irrevocably.

“Come upstairs,” she said, taking his hand. She was suddenly nervous as her stomach tightened in anticipation of his reaction to her news. “I want to show you something.”

He stopped in the doorway to the master suite. The bed was turned down, and white rose petals decorated the chocolate brown sheets. The large room was bathed in candlelight and soft music drifted from the built-in speakers. She’d left the envelope on his pillow, knowing that’s the first place his eyes would land when he entered the room.

“I can’t believe you did all this,” he said, entering the room tentatively, as though he was afraid of breaking the magic she’d worked so hard to capture.

She slid his suit jacket off, and she could practically feel the tension radiating from his broad shoulders. “I wanted tonight to be special,” she said, setting his jacket on a nearby chair. “Memorable.”

He turned to face her, capturing her face in his hands as his mouth came down on hers. “Every day I spend with you is memorable, Sela. Don’t you know that?”

The intensity of her love for this man terrified her sometimes. If something ever happened to him, to them, she knew she’d never recover from the loss, but she was tired of being a pessimist. She wanted to believe Aiden when he said they could have the life they always dreamed of. Children, grandchildren, travel, love, laughter… forever. She was ready to believe in forever.

She gestured to the envelope lying on the bed. “Why don’t you open that?”

He smirked as he extricated himself from her wandering hands. “What are you up to, beautiful?”

She wanted to give him a wink and coy smile, but she couldn’t, not when her heart pounded so hard it threatened to burst out of her chest. She’d never had the courage to put herself on the line like this before. Would he be thrilled, or would he feel trapped?

Aiden sat on the edge of the bed as he opened the envelope and read the legal documents. He looked up at her, and the surprise and confusion was unmistakable as he waited for her to explain.

Sela flattened her hand against her racing heart as the worst possible scenarios filtered through her mind. She thought he hadn’t spoken about the future lately because he was trying to give her space. But what if he was having second thoughts? She trusted Neil when he confided in her about his conversation with Aiden, but what if he was trying to make a fool of her, to get even with her for leaving him?