Totlandia: Winter (16 page)

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Authors: Josie Brown

Tags: #Humor & Satire, #Romance, #Women's Fiction, #Young Adult Fiction, #Maraya21, #Literature & Fiction

BOOK: Totlandia: Winter
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A paddle.

She slid it across the table to Bettina. “I brought it, just in case. It’s Art’s favorite. Savor each swat. Start out soft, but get harder. Trust me, he will, too.”

Bettina blanched. “You’re disgusting.”

Kelly laughed uproariously. Before Bettina could stop her, Kelly kissed her on the lips and whispered, “And you’re a natural. Just go with your feelings.”

Kelly was almost out the door before Bettina could find her voice. Bettina had half a mind to throw the paddle after her.

Instead, she slipped it into her bag.

 

3:30 p.m.

Bettina waited until Eleanor took Dante and Lily into the kitchen for ice cream before turning to Lorna and saying, “I know.”

Lorna blinked, but kept silent.

“About Art and Kelly. I know about them, Lorna. And I know you know about them, too, because I saw you coming out of my bathroom. It’s been two whole days! Why didn’t you tell me?”

Lorna sighed. “What would you have done if I had? Would you have believed me?”

Probably not
, Bettina thought, but she wasn’t going to admit it.

As if reading her mind, Lorna asked, “See? It’s a no-win situation for me. Either way, you would have hated me.”

Bettina shrugged. “I hate you already, so that’s not the point. The point is that
you weren’t loyal to me
. Not as loyal as I’ve been to you.”

It was Lorna’s turn to laugh. “Oh, really? Pray tell, how so?”

“I warned you about Kelly. Remember? When he took her virginity, it almost caused a permanent rift between our families. Matt never thinks of the bigger picture. We both know that.”

It was a lie. There had been nothing to warn her about. Kelly’s bullshit about Matt was just that: bullshit. Bettina loved slinging it in Lorna’s face.

Not to mention watching the light go out in Lorna’s eyes. So Lorna had believed Kelly after all.

And now she believes me too, the fool.

“Tomorrow, I’ll be the one to tell your girlfriends they’re in the clear, so try to keep your mouth shut until then. You know, infractions can still get one exiled from the club. I hope you watch yourself, for Dante’s sake.”

Lorna gave a slight nod.

Bettina couldn’t be sure her sister-in-law had heard her, she was so hurt.

That was okay. Mission accomplished.

 

***

 

Or maybe not.

Lorna had left Dante at the Palace of Fine Arts pond with Ally and Zoe. By the time she got there, Jillian had also shown up with Addison and Amelia. Jade just crossed the street from her house with Oliver and waved at her.

When they were all together, Lorna filled them in on the news that Kelly was gone.

She didn’t tell them the real reason, but the “official” one, which was bad enough. “She used Stanlee Gatti to decorate the potluck, and Bettina found out.”

Everyone sat there, stunned. Then Jillian piped up, “Do you mean we’re all in the clear? That we’re in?”

Lorna smiled. “Yes, but let Bettina tell you this tomorrow. Mum’s the word.”

Jade slapped her forehead. “I can’t believe this nightmare is over.”

“Yes! Mission accomplished,” Ally added.

Lorna winced when she heard that term. Their private missions were far from over. Ally still had to run a company on the sly. Eventually, the club would find out about Jillian’s divorce. Would she be ostracized? And if news of Jade’s past ever surfaced, she’d be booted out for sure.

So would she and Dante, if Bettina learned of his condition. It would give her the excuse she needed to punish her sister-in-law.

“Well, one thing’s for sure,” Lorna declared, “Bettina and her club weren’t able to break up our friendship.”

At least, not yet.

She held out her hand. Ally put hers on top of it, and Jillian followed suit.

Jade’s was the last hand on top. But she looked down at her feet. That way, she didn’t have to look any of the others in the eye.

THE END
Acknowledgements
I have been blessed with numerous friends and family who cheer me on in my writing endeavors. My love and thanks to all of you:
Eddie Concha; Andrew, Linda and Ben Brown; Darien and Don Coleman; Andrée Belle and André de Santaana; Deb and Wendy Brown; Seth and Heather Brown; Sean and Jackie Brown; Vera and Ron Gott; Pam Gott; Kelly and Doug Gott; Melissa and Fred Zucker; Sharon Conn; Angela and Tom Johnson; Helen Drake; Bonnie and John Gray; Bettie, Sheryl and Richard Levy; Rita Abrams; Karin Tabke; Stephanie Bond; Allison O’Connor; Kate Perry; Jean and Berney Neufeld; Nancy and Craig Yarborough; Margaret and Ron Redmond; Tatjana and Gaylord Soli; Kristin Isaacson; Marnie Weber; Poppy Reiffin; Heather Atkinson; and Desiree Miller.
I also want to thank those who made this book and its sequels a reality:
My publisher, Coliloquy, is mind-bendingly awesome. I appreciate your unbridled enthusiasm, Lisa Rutherford, Waynn Lue, and Jennifer Lou; and for providing me with the great team of Amy Eye, Aimee Radmacher, and Kaamna Bhojwani-Dhawan;
I have the best literary agent in the business. Holly Root, I am always in awe of you;
When it comes to all things big and small screen, I owe a tremendous debt of thanks to Jon Cassir, who works ceaselessly on my behalf;
As much as I appreciate my editor, Megan McKeever, for her sharp pencil, her way of challenging me to make the most of my characters is why I love her.
Finally, my own totlandia was created by the three people I love most: Martin, Austin and Anna. Thank you, sweet family, for the memories that are the grist for my creative mill.
—Josie Brown
About Coliloquy
Coliloquy is the first digital publisher to focus on active and interactive storytelling, leveraging advances in technology to create groundbreaking new forms of digital content. Originally developed as part of the Kindle Developer Program, Coliloquy’s books and apps are now available across all tablet, phone, and e-reading platforms, including iOS, Android, Kindle, NOOK, and Kobo. Based in Palo Alto, CA, the company was founded by Lisa Rutherford, an AlwaysON “Top Women to Watch” award winner, and Waynn Lue in 2011. For more information, please visit www.coliloquy.com.
About the Author
Josie Brown is the author of these novels:
Totlandia: The Onesies, Book 1 (Fall)
and
Totlandia: The Onesies, Book 2 (Winter)
, [2012, Coliloquy],
The Housewife Assassin’s Bloody Valentine
[2012, MSW Press],
The Housewife Assassin’s Handbook
[2011, Signal Press],
The Baby Planner
[2011, Simon & Schuster],
Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives
[2010, Simon & Schuster],
Impossibly Tongue-Tied
[2006, HarperCollins], and
True Hollywood Lies
[2005, HarperCollins; 2010 Diversion Books].
Her novel,
Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives
(Simon & Schuster), is being produced by Jerry Bruckheimer as a dramatic series for NBC-TV.
Josie is also the author of three non-fiction books:
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Finding Mr. Right
[Alpha/Pearson];
Marriage Confidential: 102 Honest Answers to the Questions Every Husband Wants to Ask, and Every Wife Needs to Know
[Signal Press]; and
Last Night I Dreamt of Cosmopolitans: A Modern Girl’s Dream Dictionary
[St. Martin’s Press].
As a journalist, Josie’s celebrity interviews and relationships trends articles have been featured in the
Los Angeles Times
Syndicate International,
Redbook
and
Complete Woman
magazines, as well as AOL, Yahoo, AskMen.com, Divorce360.com, and SingleMindedWomen.com.
Copyright
© 2012 by JOSIE BROWN
All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Coliloquy, LLC
www.coliloquy.com
www.twitter.com/coliloquy
First eBook Edition: November 2012
The Coliloquy name and logo are trademarks of Coliloquy, LLC.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
ISBN: 978-1-937804-15-2

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