Totlandia: Winter (7 page)

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Authors: Josie Brown

Tags: #Humor & Satire, #Romance, #Women's Fiction, #Young Adult Fiction, #Maraya21, #Literature & Fiction

BOOK: Totlandia: Winter
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“Of course I don’t hate you.” Lorna stopped to consider what to say next. She knew she’d have to choose her words carefully. “I can’t believe you’d even think such a thing.”

“Lorna, let’s put our cards on the table, shall we?” Eleanor dabbed her mouth gently with her linen napkin. “I didn’t make it a secret that I thought Matt was marrying beneath him. I cold-shouldered you every chance I got. My current civility allows me access to my grandson. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be allowed to see him.”

“Wait! I never said you couldn’t see Dante.”

Eleanor’s smile was sad. “I never said you did. Matt made it quite clear to me that I was acting in an odious manner, not only to his son’s mother but to the woman he loves more than anyone in the world.”

“Matt…said that about me? To you?”

“Yes. And he was right. I can be odious to those I feel aren’t up to snuff. As can Bettina. So they’re right when they say that the apple does not fall far from the tree.” Despite the fact that her cup was still full, she pushed it away. “In the meantime, I’ve changed my mind about you. You love Matt as much as he adores you. It’s obvious to anyone who sees you both together. And there’s no doubt about it, the two of you do make beautiful babies.” She gave her grandson a loving glance. “Matt is a handsome man, but he’ll never be half the businessman his father was. And George wasn’t half as smart about money as George the First. I guess future generations will see diminishing returns unless Dante is the exception to that rule. With Matt’s looks and your brains, I’m willing to bet on that. In all honesty, I couldn’t have said that if Matt had married any one of the well-placed airheads I had in mind for him.”

Lorna opened her mouth to speak, but thought better of it. As gratifying as it was to hear that Eleanor had finally accepted her into the family, what could she say in return? Should she confirm Eleanor’s declaration about Matt being no more than a dreamer and a schemer? Or point out that her own behavior toward Lorna had granted tacit approval for Bettina’s cruelty toward her? Or should she break the news to Eleanor as to why she shouldn’t pin her hopes on Dante burnishing the family name to its once shiny gold patina?

No, no, no
. She couldn’t divulge Dante’s problem to Eleanor. It would crush her. Besides, Matt didn’t even know about it as of yet. Maybe if she acquiesced about Thanksgiving, Eleanor would know she was at least trying to let bygones be bygones.

Almost as if reading Lorna’s mind, Eleanor said, “Don’t worry about joining the family at Stinson. Frankly, without Dante there, it will allow me more cuddle time with Lily. She so desperately needs it, what with the way Bettina drives her so hard. And what for?”

To please you
, Lorna thought.

But honesty isn’t always appreciated in a truce, so again she thought it wise to keep her mouth shut. Instead, she picked up Dante and started the arduous task of wrestling him into his coat. She had been given a reprieve. She would wait until after the holidays to tell Matt and his family the truth about Dante.

It may be the last happy holiday we have
, she thought sadly.

“Oh and, Lorna, before you leave, could you write down your recipe for that sage sausage stuffing? Mine is just as dry as Bettina’s. Not that I’d say that to her. Have you seen how sensitive she’s been lately? She is certainly wound a tick too tight.”

Chapter 9

Monday, 19 November

Everyone in the club was thrilled that Jade had chosen the Monday prior to Thanksgiving for PHM&T’s trip to the pumpkin patch and corn maze. Lorna, Ally, Jillian and she squeezed themselves and their children into Jade’s large SUV, which led the caravan up to Petaluma, an hour north of the city, where the hills unraveled broad beige mounds under electric blue skies.

For the most part, the toddlers and their parents trampled through the acre-long row of pumpkins in search of the perfect gourd to grace their doorways or Thanksgiving table. It was Bettina’s idea that the Fivesies line up first for their pony rides.

The decision was met with a storm of protests from the Foursies and Threesies mothers. One Threesie mom had the audacity to look Bettina in the eye as she groused, “But that’s not fair! The pony rides are all my little Theodora has been talking about for the past week!” She pointed to the little girl, whose outfit—Jodhpur breeches, velvet show coat and cravat, and tiny helmet—easily reinforced her claim.

Bettina sighed. “This isn’t
The Price is Right
. The fact that she came in a costume does not automatically move her to the front of the line. So sorry, but seniority prevails.”

So there was no mistaking her mandate, Bettina heaved Joanna’s five-year-old Chloe onto the pony and smacked the poor animal on its haunches to get it moving. Then she flexed her arm, as if it were sore. “This Thanksgiving, you may want to skip the pumpkin pie for Chloe, Joanna. ‘Pretty and plump’ might have been adorable at two, but at five, it’s downright criminal.”

Chloe’s squeal of terror should have brought her mother to her side, but Joanna knew better than to leave Bettina when she was in the middle of a lecture. Instead, she prayed that a summer of equestrian camp (in fact, the same one Theodora attended) had given her daughter enough of a rider’s seat to hold on for dear life.

 

***

 

Bettina’s admonishment had the desired effect. The groups dispersed to separate corners. The Threesies jumped on the hayride, while Foursies ran through the corn maze ahead of their mothers, whose shouts of caution were met with naughty giggles.

By the time the Fivesies were done with their pony rides, it was snack time. Everyone was just tucking into the smorgasbord of grapes, strawberries, bananas, cheese cubes, crackers, tiny Roma tomatoes, baby carrots, and juice boxes that Jade had arranged on a gold and black plaid quilt when Bettina, who had been riding hard on the other mothers all day, looked up anxiously. “Where’s Lily?”

Moms nearby grew silent and looked around. Lily was nowhere to be found.

Kimberley went white. As the Foursies’ lead mom, it was her job to make sure everyone was accounted for on field trips.

Especially Bettina’s child, whom Kimberley’s own daughter, Tallulah, swore was her Very Best Friend Forever and Ever and Ever.

Kimberley grabbed Tallulah by the shoulders and looked her straight in the eye. “Where is she? You two ran ahead when I called for you to stop! I know you heard me because I could hear you laughing!”

“It was Lily’s idea!” Tallulah’s tears filled her big blue eyes. “We were going to scare the Fivesies when they walked through the maze. But she fell asleep, and I got hungry.”

“Well, you’re going back in there, right now!” Bettina yanked the little girl by the cuff of her sweater. “You’re taking me to my daughter!”

“I don’t know where she is! I swear!” The child whimpered hysterically. “I saw Mrs. Connaught around the corner, and I followed her out.”

Bettina sought out Lorna in the crowd. “Lorna, can you remember your path through the maze?”

Lorna sat up straight. The maze had been fun, but it was also an exhausting puzzle. The rows of corn, eight feet high, zigged and zagged for a quarter of a mile. But seeing the sheer terror in her sister-in-law’s eyes, it was the last thing she dared to admit.

Instead, she said, “I’ll find her, Bettina. I promise.”

 

***

 

It was Ally’s idea to have Lorna synchronize the GPS signal of her smart phone to be viewed by Ally’s cell phone at all times. That way, when—not
if
—she found her niece, they could be guided out safely.

Before heading into the maze, Lorna handed Dante to Jade. She was close to tears. Lorna could imagine Jade saw her place in the club vanish along with Lily. A traumatized child, especially Bettina’s, would certainly earn Jade ongoing
persona non grata
status within the club, if not outright banishment for such an egregious infraction.

Lorna tried to retrace her steps, but got lost when she came to the third turn. The others could hear her calling Lily’s name, and joined in, shouting “Lily! Wake up!” Soon they heard a shriek from within the maze. Lily’s voice, which sounded so small and scared, called back, “I’m over here, Aunt Lorna!”

“Hush!” Bettina roared to everyone else. “If they aren’t out of that maze in twenty minutes, I swear I’ll burn the damn thing to the ground to get them out!”

No one dared to tell her that doing so would likely defeat the purpose.

No one, that is, except the owner of the pumpkin field. “Lady, no way in hell will you torch my maze,” he growled.

“Oh no?” Bettina retorted. “If I don’t find my child, you better run for your life, because you’ll be what I set on fire next, Scarecrow, when I get through tying you to that pony post!”

The man withered when he saw the looks on the faces of the other women. They had no doubt she meant what she said. He’d seen it before, the wild-eyed anger of a mother who would do anything for her child.

Bettina’s attack had so upset him that the schematic of the maze, something he knew like the back of his hand, went right out of his brain.

He shut up and prayed that her girl would be found quickly.

 

***

 

After five minutes in the maze, Lorna realized she was lost. Not that she’d let either Bettina or Lily know that. Instead she shouted, “Lily, do me a favor and sing to me so I can find you.”

The little girl quit crying as she considered her aunt’s request. “What do you want me to sing?”

“How about
The People on the Bus
?”

“No way! I’m not some little baby!”

“Then how about something from Justin Bieber?”

“You mean, like
Boyfriend
?”

Lorna sighed. “Sure. Whatever.”

“Okay.” Lily sounded wary. “But just don’t tell Madame Irina. She thinks he’s vulgar.”

“I promise. Pinky swear.”

Lily’s voice was actually quite good. She seemed to understand the eloquence behind the lyrics about a guy who yearned to prove his puppy love.

Best yet, it allowed Lorna to approximate the section of the maze which held her niece. She beat the corn stalks as she walked. “Lily, if you see the corn move, it’s me. Just reach through it to grab my hand.”

It seemed like forever before a small hand popped out between two stalks. Lorna grabbed it and pulled the little girl through.

Lily hugged her aunt so tightly that Lorna couldn’t breathe. But she could cry, and did when Lily sobbed, “Oh, Aunt Lorna! I thought I was going to die in there! Thank you! Thank you!”

Lorna said the only thing she could, “Shhhhh….”

As they both wiped away their tears, Lily pulled Lorna down in order to cup her hand to her ear, and whispered, “Dante is so lucky. I wish you were my mother.”

Chapter 10

Wednesday, 21 November

9:46 a.m.

Brady was proud of the fact that Oliver’s hand/eye coordination was off the charts. Forget rolling a ball at him and praying that he could roll it back. He’d take the soft rubber ball and hurl it at Brady’s face.

More than likely, though, it hit his father’s crotch.

Brady was still contemplating his son’s future as a knuckleballer when he answered the doorbell.

Kimberley.

Brady glanced down the street. Jade had already taken off with a shopping list a mile long. She was more excited than he was about their Thanksgiving guests tomorrow. In fact, the dining room table had been set since yesterday. Half of her shopping list items were for a centerpiece that she’d found on the Martha Stewart site.

“Jillian is doing pies, Lorna is bringing the stuffing,” she sang as she put on her coat. “All I have to do is grab the biggest Butterball turkey I can find. Oh, and Ally is bringing a sweet potato dish, so we’re all set.”

He had turned away when she said Ally’s name. He didn’t want her to see the smile it brought to his face.

“Hey, maybe I should make this string-bean-mushroom-soup thingy, too!” She held up a can of Campbell’s Soup to show him the recipe printed on the back. With that, she was off and running to the store.

Kimberley must have known that, too. Why else was she there?

“What do you do, stake out my house?” It was hard for Brady to sound grumpy with her grinding her hips into his.

“I figure that Jade is like every other woman in the country right now, battling it out for the last box of Pepperidge Farm stuffing down at Safeway.” Without further ado, she slapped her hand on the dining room table. “Let’s not bother with the bedroom. It would be hot to do it right here—you know, give you something to remember fondly other than Jade’s dried-out turkey.”

“No! I mean, considering Jade has already set the table, it may not be a great idea.”

“Looks like you’ll be having a lot of company.” Kimberley picked up a plate to scrutinize the pattern. He could tell by her frown it wasn’t one she would’ve chosen.

“Yes, well…always a full house.” The last thing Brady wanted to do was tell her who was coming over. Knowing it was other club members might have her presuming it was an open house, and the last thing any of the Probationary Onesies needed was the tension of having her watching their every move.

Or his.

She pulled him into the kitchen. “There’s always a Plan B. We’ll do it right here, on the counter.”

“We prepare food there, remember?” He grabbed her arm to pull her away, but instead, she placed his hand on her crotch through her short flimsy dress.

Brady hesitated, then finally nodded. “At least let me put Oliver in his playpen.” He picked up his son and headed for the media room. He was still embarrassed at Jade’s success in seducing him in front of Oliver. The last thing he’d want his son to think was that he was a pushover for any pretty face.

Aw hell, what guy wasn’t?

The moment Brady and Oliver were out the door, Kimberley opened a cabinet and tossed her thong into it.

It was time to give Jade a wake-up call: Brady wasn’t all hers.

Sure, all hell would break loose, but she didn’t give a damn. As long as Brady was determined to keep Oliver in the Pacific Heights Moms & Tots Club, he’d keep her name out of it.

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