Torn (Devils Wolves Book 1) (27 page)

"I already told you I want you to be my first and last everything, Tor," she says softly. "I meant it."

"I know that, and I want to believe it. You have no idea how much I want to."

She sighs, the tiny vein in her temple throbbing in frustration over my doubts, but I can't lie to her. I'm not at a stage in my life where I want to go through a fling or deal with indecision several months down the road.

"Did you bring our pennies?" She questions.

I grin and let go of her hand reluctantly to dig into my front pocket, taking out the two coins I brought with me. "Of course I did."

"Can we do something different this time?"

"Okay..."

She takes one of the pennies from me. "Let’s wish for the same thing at the same time. Then hopefully it will come true." Her eyes glimmer with hope just like they did when she was a little girl and would talk about exciting things that she couldn't wait to see or do. One of the things I've always loved most about her is her never-ending hope and positive outlook that she inherited from her father.

"I like that idea. What are we going to wish for?"

"To live happily ever after. Together."

A hard lump forms in my throat at the realization that there isn't anything in this universe - wishes or otherwise - that's going to allow that dream to come true. I'm most likely going to be the first guy to break her precious heart, even though that's the last thing I ever want to do. Maybe this was my role all along...to be the one to make her feel everything for the first time, both good and bad. Maybe I'm supposed to guide her through life and do my best to lessen all the blows for her. Maybe I'm her safety net.

"We're not a fairytale, Kenzi."

Her hand clenches around the penny defiantly. "We
can
be, Tor. You just have to believe in it enough."

"Real life doesn't work that way. I wish it did, believe me. I want that more than I've ever fuckin' wanted anything."

"Then just do it," she begs. "For me?"

Of course. I'd do anything for her. So I agree.

We tossed our two tarnished pennies into the water while we stood on the edge of the river, holding onto each other’s hands for dear life and wished
(make that begged)
to live happily ever after. Together.

I didn't realize when we first sat down that this is the exact place where her own parents’ fairytale ended, or I never would have brought their daughter here. I would have kept walking further up the mountain if I had realized it sooner.

"
K
enzi Valentine
?" I look up from the test I'm taking at the woman standing at the door of my classroom saying my name. I recognize her as working in the principal’s office.

"Can you come with me?" She asks when we make eye contact.

"Um...okay." The other kids in my class watch me as I shove my book in my backpack and grab my bag, some of them whispering as I make my way through the desks to the door. My teacher takes my test from me as I near her desk.

"Don't worry about the test, Kenzi. You can make it up."

"Is something wrong?" I ask the woman as soon as I get out into the hall. "Did I do something?"

"No, nothing like that. Your aunt and uncle are here."

My aunt and uncle?

As we walk down the empty hall towards the office, Uncle Toren and Aunt Sydni come into view, waiting for me in the front lobby. I can tell immediately by their somber faces that something is very wrong.

"Kenzi..." Aunt Sydni says, taking a few steps forward. "There's been an accident. Your grandmother asked us to come get you."

My breath hitches in my throat and my blood goes cold as my mind flips through the rolodex of everyone I love...MommyDaddyGramGreatGramPopChloeTalonStormRayneLukasMikahKatherineVandal.

"
W
h-What do you mean
?" I ask, searching both of their faces.

Uncle Tor pulls me into his arms and hugs me tightly, his breathing ragged. He's got grease on his clothes, hands, and a smudge on his face, meaning he came right from work without any time to change or wash. And Aunt Sydni's wearing sweatpants and no makeup like she just got out of bed. It's clear they came here to get me in a rush.

"What happened?" I ask, my face still buried in Tor's chest. "Who is it?"

"It's your mom," He pulls me away to look into my eyes, his hands moving to my shoulders, squeezing them gently. "I'm sorry, Angel. It's not good. We're going to take you to the hospital. Everyone is there."

His eyes are bloodshot and puffy, and so are Aunt Sydni's, meaning they were both crying before they got here. Now they're wearing fake, weak smiles, trying not to worry me, but I can tell something awful has happened.

As Aunt Sydni signs the form to take me out of school, I cling to Uncle Tor, my body shaking uncontrollably. I want to ask what happened but I can't get my mouth to work.

"Is she dead?" I finally force in a hoarse whisper.

"No, sweetheart. But I can't lie to you...it's bad," His strong arms go around me again. "I promise I'll stay with you. We'll get through this together. Everything will be okay."

* * *

D
uring the ride back home
, her hand slips under the front of my shirt and rests against the skin right above the waistband of my jeans, every so often feathering up towards my chest or across my rib cage, slowly exploring me. I should tell her no groping when we're riding but I'm enjoying her touch way too much to make her stop. On the easy, straight roads I reach back and run my hand down the outside of her leg, her thighs squeezing tighter around me as she presses her body closer to mine.

We pull over at an ice cream stand so she can use the restroom, and then sit at a picnic table to enjoy ice cream cones in the shade. We watch a couple with triplets who look to be about five years old attempt to eat theirs, but end up mostly wearing them. We can't stop ourselves from laughing and the mother laughs with us. "Wait ‘til you two have your own," she says jokingly.

Christ.
They think we're a couple. Maybe the age difference between us isn't as visibly obvious as I thought it was.

"Do you still want kids, Tor?" Kenzi asks. When I turn away from the messy little kids to answer her, her tongue is swirling around the vanilla ice cream, her lips all creamy, and my brain short circuits watching her. I'd do anything to have her lips and her tongue on my cock just like that. Or anywhere on my body.

"Earth to Tor?" she says, giggling, nudging my leg with her boot.

"Huh?" I drag my eyes away from her mouth. "Kids?"

"Yeah."

"Someday, yeah."

"You'd make a great dad."

"Think so?"

"Definitely. Look how good you were with me all the time when I was little."

No.
I can't think about that. Thinking about that makes me feel sick and twisted. I can't think about shoving my cock into her mouth one minute and then remember rocking her to sleep when she was a baby the next. Standing, I throw the rest of my cone in a garbage can buzzing with flies. What the fuck am I doing with her? Why am I playing with fire and tempting us both with something we can't have? I wonder if I should see a therapist about this mess I've got myself into, to help me figure out if what I'm doing is completely fucked up or if it's actually acceptable if we both want it.
And
we're both consenting adults now.
And
we love each other.

But she's still my best friend’s daughter. Regardless of all those other things, that fact will never, ever change.

* * *

S
he wants
to see the dog and the kitten, so I bring her back to my place instead of straight to her house after our ride. I didn't tell her about the kitten; I surprised her by letting her come over to clean when she got back from Maine, and the kitten was sleeping on the couch when she got there. She called me at the shop all crazy excited after she saw her and I told her about how I found the kitten in a box on the side of the road. Originally, I thought the kitten was a boy, but it's actually a girl. Needless to say, Kenzi fell immediately in love with the kitten just like she did with the dog.

"Did you name this poor kitten yet?" She asks me, sitting on the floor with both the dog and the kitten crawling up in her lap for love. Kenzi is a like a pet whisperer. They all love her.

I sit on the couch and pull off my boots, thinking we'll relax and have a bite to eat before I take her home.

"Yeah. Kitten. It goes with Diogee."

She smirks at me. "That's lazy, but it fits her," she picks the kitten up and cradles her against her chest. "She's so adorable, Tor. I want to kidnap her and take her home with me."

"Your father will have a shit fit. You can come over here and hang out with them any time. I keep telling you that."

She pouts. "It's not the same. I miss having my own pet."

"We could get you another bunny." I offer. I considered surprising her with one, but wasn't sure if it would just make her grief worse. I didn't want her to think I was trying to replace Snuggles. After talking to Mom about it, we decided it was best to wait.

Putting the kitten down, she watches her walk off to chase Diogee's tail and then pulls the clip out of her hair, unbraiding it and letting it all fall around her shoulders in soft waves. "I've been thinking about that, and I think I do want another one. I love the Lionheads."

"What the heck is that?"

"It's a breed of bunny with a really fuzzy face and head. They're adorable, they almost look like little toys."

"Find one and I'll take you to get it." I say without hesitation.

I move into the kitchen and open the refrigerator, rummaging around to see what we could have for dinner that's quick and easy.

"You want hamburgers?" I ask, my head still in the fridge, when her warm hands slide up my back. I turn around and shut the door behind me, surprised at her touch. She's being way more daring today than she ever has before.

"I'm not hungry." She says, gently resting her palm on the center of my chest and peeking up at me, eyes burning with everything I want to see.

Her touch has pushed my last button. The last of my self-control crumbles, replaced with a mix of raging frustration and desire I can't even begin to extinguish. I push her hand off my chest and slam her back against the wall, crushing my lips to hers, my hands gripping her waist. Her gasp against my lips should have been one of fear or maybe shock, but one glance at her darkening eyes tells me neither one of those is what she's feeling.
Not even close.

"Is this what you want, Kenzi?" I growl against her lips. "Is this what you've been begging for all day, touching me?"

"Yes," she whispers breathlessly. "I want you."

I slowly back away from her, torn between throwing her out and dragging her down the hall to my bedroom. "You don't even know what that means."

Her green eyes lock onto mine and I can see that I'm wrong. "Wanna bet?"

Holding her gaze, I yank off my worn t-shirt and toss it to the floor, watching how her eyes take in my bare chest and then drift hungrily to my abs. I want her to run.
I want her to stay.

"Well, here I am. Show me."

I know every single one of Kenzi's expressions for every feeling she has ever felt. But I've never seen this look of sheer smoldering desire on her face before. Her eyes stay on mine as she steps towards me with zero hesitation, zero doubt. She completely owns her determination to do exactly what I asked - show me.

The space between us disappears quickly, and she backs me up against the adjacent wall, her hands coming up to hold my face as she goes up on her toes to kiss my lips.

"You," she says softly. "You are what I've always wanted. And yes - way before I even knew what that meant. But I know what it means now."

She lowers her head and kisses my bare chest, right above the tattoo of her words, her lips soft, wet, and warm.

"I want all of you," she continues as her lips move across my flesh. "Your love, your body. Your past, your present, your future. Everything."

I can barely breathe as her mouth and hands trail down my chest to my stomach, and I lean back against the wall with my heart drumming loud and fast. My little Kenzi is fading away into the background. This woman in front of me has stepped into her place, saying all the words I need and want to hear, touching me in all the right ways, turning me on, making me fall harder. Blinking, I almost believe she'll disappear and this will turn out to be just a fucked up hallucination, but she's still here, now kneeling down in front of me with her hands on my thighs.

When her lips press against the front of my jeans, directly over my cock, I suck in a breath and my hand drifts to her head, gripping her hair.

"Kenzi..." I whisper raggedly, staring down at her. I don't know what she's done to me, but I'm powerless to do anything but just let her do whatever she wants. She plants small, quick kisses along the length of my cock, and almost makes me explode when she gently bites the head, her teeth grazing over the material of my jeans.

Yanking her up by her hair, I cover her mouth with mine, my chest heaving against hers as my hands slide down her back to cup her ass cheeks, grinding my cock against her.

"You're playing with fire," I rasp out.

"I don't care."

"Make me stop, Kenz. Please..." I beg, knowing I'll never let her go if she doesn't stop this. She's got me too far gone to turn back and her new level of sensual confidence is throwing up way too many green lights.

"No." She says simply, wrapping her arms around me, kissing me just as hungrily as I'm kissing her.

"Push me away."

"Never." She whispers, pulling me even closer.

"What's gotten into you today?" I demand, moving my lips down to suck her neck.

"I don't know..." she breathes, tilting her head back, letting me suck the delicate flesh of her throat. "Being so close to you all day...touching you...I don't want to stop."

"Then we're not stopping 'til we've had every fuckin' inch of each other," I move my lips back up to hers and stare down into her eyes. "Once we start this, we can't go back, Kenzi."

She gulps, a hint of nervousness finally showing, and then she nods.

"I know, Tor. This is what I want." Taking a small step backwards, she pulls off her shirt and drops it onto the floor, mimicking my dare.