Top Love: An Alpha Billionaire Romance (Young Adult Stepbrother and Billionaire Romance Stories) (50 page)

Krystal

I sat on the front porch of my home watching the hummingbirds eating from the feeder I bought a couple months ago.  It’s six in the morning and such a beautiful morning.  The sunlight is streaming through the branches of the trees and there is a slight breeze coming out of the North bringing in the autumn weather.  I am sitting in the porch swing with my favorite blanket.  Actually, it is an afghan that my great grandmother knitted when she was just twenty years old.  I am the fourth generation to have owned this blanket.  The deal is that we each add something to it.  If you look at the original blue and black pattern, you will see that pattern is interrupted by patches like you would see on a quilt.

The first patch came from my great grandmother.  She sewed on a piece of a onesie that belonged to my grandmother.  My grandmother added one that belonged to my mom.  My mom added one that belonged to me.  My task is to add a patch of a onesie that belongs to my daughter—if I ever have a daughter, that is.  However, I do think I might break tradition a little and add one of Gage’s.  I really don’t see myself having any more children.  My heart is too torn.

It has been three months since I saw Eddie last.  Well, it has been three months unless you count the numerous times I have watched his show.  We still text from time to time, but I know I am trapped by obligations.  I have been reliving the day he proposed to me over and over again in my mind, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say ‘no’ or ‘yes’.  All I could give him was my typical non-committal gesture along with telling him to do what made him happy.  Obviously, he made his choice.    Besides, his phone call was obviously more important than what was going on.  I mean, who the hell answers a phone in the middle of proposing to someone you are supposed to love and want to marry?  The person I want to spend my life with will have time for me.  Not only that, but he will have time for my son.  Yes, Gage has a father.  Jimmy is an excellent father. He just was not that attentive of a husband, though I am sure he loved me.  He was not harsh at all, but his expectations of me were something I could not live up to.  You were not supposed to want to change the person you are with.  He wanted to change me, and I wanted him to change.  That’s not how marriage works. 

Am I sour about it?  Just a little bit, yes.  I kind of hoped that he would choose me, but I also would not want him to ever have the chance to throw it in my face.  I have seen over the years that when Eddie wanted to make you hurt, he certainly could make you hurt.  He had a sharp tongue behind those kissable lips.  Thinking about his lips caused my mind to wander from my initial frustration and dwell in the imagined sensations of his hands running up along my body as we lie in bed together, the way his hair fell into his eyes, and the way he snored if he slept on his side but not if he slept on his back. 

These are never things I noticed about Jimmy.  Sure, Jimmy was kind.  He was never spontaneous, though.  That was something I loved about Eddie.  As I grow older, I think to myself some old pieces of wisdom my grandma always told me.  She always told me that love was not always something that required constant interaction.  Sometimes, love was being able to sit together quietly in a room and just existing together.  Sometimes, love was as simple as making sure his coffee was ready in the morning the way he liked it like my grams did for my grandpa.  She always told me that it was not because he expected her to do it because she was the wife.  She did it without prompting because she knew he felt better and had a better day if he had his coffee ready.  “It is the little things you do, even chores, for the ones you love that can mean so much,” she always told me.

I never understood her wisdom until recently.  I have plenty of time to reflect on things now.  I still work at the diner, but business has slowed down.  Instead of five double shifts per week, I work two double shifts and three single shifts.  Even though I legally have custody of Gage, Jimmy has him a lot.  My parents aren’t thrilled with the fact that I am still seeing Eddie, so they’ve backed off quite a bit.  They’re also still made at me that I left Jimmy. 

As I continue to ponder my feelings on Eddie, I notice that it seems I am not as adamant about being with him ‘no matter what’ as I was before.  I have custody of Gage, and it wouldn’t take me much to get the courts to force Jimmy’s hand in letting me move if I really wanted it.  So, why did I use Gage as an excuse not to move?  At the time, I could have sworn that I had Gage’s best interest at heart—knowing that taking a little boy from his father was not a very good thing to do if one had no reason whatsoever. 

Now that I have time to think since Gage is spending this week with Jimmy and his family, I do not feel that it is just Gage’s best interest at heart.  Is there something else to my line of thinking?  Is something inside of me telling me that I do not love Eddie the way I think I do?  Do I see myself like my grams—fixing Eddie’s coffee just the way he likes it just to make his day a little more comfortable?  I did that with Jimmy.  I did a lot of things for Jimmy, but I thought I was doing them just because that is what was expected of me.  Jimmy did not want me to work, really.  He said it made him feel like less of a man.  I did not agree.  I am a strong, independent, and most capable woman.  I do not want to be that woman twenty years down the line with zero marketable skills who is getting the crap end of the stick when she divorces her husband only to realize that she actually did need him to financially support her.  I do not want to be that woman.  EVER!

Still, I think of Jimmy fondly, but I think I love Eddie.  I think of the times I have hurt Jimmy.  I deserve everything that has happened to me and more.  Jimmy was raised a certain way, but I like to think that he eventually would have listened if I just talked to him.  Wouldn’t he have?

With Eddie, I think of all the fun we’ve had over the years, all the secrets I have told him.  It was like having the best of both worlds—a friend who would go shopping with you, go on a spa day, lounge by the pool—and a guy friend who would break the arms of anyone who hurt you. 

As I reflect on things, I am struck with an epiphany—it was not Eddie that I was in love with.  It was the qualities within him that I truly loved.  I loved Eddie’s fun loving nature, his tenacity to find the beauty in life despite things being despicable, and his overall charm.  But now, what should I do?  Should I continue on with Eddie and hope one dayI will be able to just take off into the wind with him?  It looks like this week will not be an easy one after all. 

Jimmy

It is strange how time can change a person.  I realize that I have been harsh with Krystal, but I will not make that same mistake with the next person I give my heart to.  That is, if I decide to give my heart to anyone else.  I guess you could say I am still sore about it.  I am.  I saw a future with Krystal—a future in which we would grow in our love, grow as people, and come to be the old couple holding hands while sitting on the park bench overlooking the lake.

Looking back, I realize I was an ass.  I did not shower her with enough affection.  I simply thought she knew how I felt.  After all, it’s not every day that I go around proposing to people.  Then again, in the generation we live in, people get married just to cure boredom.  When they wake up the next morning, they realize they made a mistake and get divorced.  That is not how any of this is supposed to work.  When something is broken, you don’t go around trying to replace it.  You fix it.  Despite my mechanic skills, I just did not know how to fix this.  However, I am hoping eventually I can get to start over with her. 

Still, she made her choice, but I cannot help to think that perhaps she was hasty in her decision.  I know Eddie offered her fine things, a fast paced lifestyle, action, adventure, and the other things that sweep a young woman off of her feet.  It is tempting to be that way, but my parents raised me to be steadfast and to make sure that I was the kind of husband my wife needed.  I guess they forgot to tell me how to be the one she wanted, too. 

Some days, being without her hurts so bad.  Man, I feel it all the way to my core.  You do not just stop loving someone—even when you are mad at them. You do not stop loving someone that easily.  It is not a switch that can be turned on and off.  It is something that is engrained into the center of your bones, flows through your veins, and causes your heart to beat.  It is the force that makes your soul sing anthems when it recognizes its twin. 

My soul no longer sings.  My heart barely beats.  My bones are hollow.  If only I knew how to tell her everything I feel, but the words do not ever seem to come out right.  The sad thing is that I know communication is the key in every relationship—not just romantic ones, but all relationships.  I still hold out hope, though, that she will return to me. 

Meanwhile, I have to be the best dad I can be to this little guy.  He and I are visiting with my mom today.  My dad went into town, so I sit and let her visit with Gage.  Krystal’s parents usually see Gage when she has him.  I look at my son and oftentimes, I see her face in his.  He has her cute, upturned nose, her ears, and her cheesy grin.  He loves playing with my tools.  I have to really mind what I put down around me, even if it is just for a second.  He will go pick it up every time.  I learned quickly when I put down my three quarter inch socket.  He picked it up, called it his ‘shiny’, and said it tasted good.  Yep, you guessed it.  It immediately went into his mouth.  I think that is every toddler and small child, though.  At least, that is what my mom tells me.  She said Gage acts exactly like I did at that age.  He’s so curious and into everything.  He likes to see how things work.  His favorite word is ‘why’ and his favorite phrase is ‘fix it’. 

“You just wait,” my mom says.  “Before you know it, he’ll have your alarm clocks, VCR’s, DVD players, and all your other electronics in pieces.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I respond.  I don’t recall being that bad, though I did like to play with my dad’s tools a lot. 

“You bet your arse, he will.  He’s just like you.  Don’t even try to buy him one of those battery-operated jeeps.  He’ll have it in pieces, too, and that will be four hundred dollars you’ve wasted.”

“Well, not a complete waste.  I learned how to break down an engine real well.”

“I suppose you are right,” she said sipping her coffee.     

“Aren’t I usually?”  I grin. 

She picks up the paper, gently smacks me on the shoulder and says, “You are just like your father, thinking he’s always right.”

I loved moments like these with my parents.  I am probably one of the only men my age that still enjoys his folks.  I knew better when I was younger.  I did not want to grow up.  Because I knew I had to, I made sure I enjoyed every opportunity while living under their roof. 

I do have my own place a few houses down.  Gage has his own room.  I built his bed myself.  It took me a while, but I built a bed that looks like a John Deere tractor.  He absolutely loves it.  Every night, he asks me to make tractor sounds after I read him a story.  If I have anything to say about it, he’s going to grow up to be a good man someday. 

However, Krystal told me about Eddie proposing.  Well, not in so many words, but I overheard her talking to her mom one day when I dropped Gage off.  She still hasn’t gone anywhere, so I am assuming she either said ‘no’ or hasn’t given him an answer yet.  I may love her and still hold out hope for us, but I will be damned if she takes my son from me. 

It’s time I get Gage home to start his dinner, so I give my mom a hug, tell her to tell dad I will see him tomorrow, and get Gage from his play room at memaw’s. 

“Come on, buddy,” I say.  “We’ve got to go fix you some supper and get you a bath.”

“Fix it,” he says as he points to pieces of what looks to be my old alarm clock.  I shake my head with the knowledge that my mom was right—again. 

“We’ll fix it next time, bud.  How about we clean it up and come over tomorrow to fix it?”

“Otay.”  He’s such an agreeable little guy.  I think the only time I have ever had him throw a fit around me was when he was not feeling well and did not want to stay still. 

So, we left and headed home.  I think I figured out a way to let Krystal know about my feelings once and for all.  I know that if I ever had a chance with her for life, this would be it—before Eddie came blazing back in.  I see now that all she needed was to feel like she was not trapped, to feel independent and more useful.  Granted, I feel she was very useful.  Our home and our son couldn’t have done without the things she was doing, but she feels differently.  It’s not something I am adamant about, so we can compromise.  I just wish it did not have to come to this to make me see I needed to open up more.

Tomorrow, I think I will go over to Krystal’s house, leaving Gage with my parents, and talk to her.  She is not supposed to get him back for a few more days, so we will have time to talk.  More importantly, I will have time to listen and show her I want to do the things that I should have been doing all along. 

Eddie

I miss her so much, but I could not just abandon our future—my future—because she says her ex-husband wouldn’t let her leave.  That sounded a bit too controlling to me, and is not that why she left him?  Because he was too controlling?   What was the point of divorcing him if she is still going to let him control her life?  She’s absolutely infuriating.  Why does she have to be so stubborn?

I remember that day.  I was down on one knee, asked her to marry me, and that is when my phone rang.  I watched the reaction I imagined happen before my eyes.  Her eyes began to tear up.  Her face glowed with a shine I had not seen in a long time from her. 

“Eddie,” she said.  And that is when my phone rang.  I answered the phone, and it was my agent on the other end. 

“Eddie, oh my god, you’ve got to get down here right now!!!!!!!!” my agent screamed. 

I glanced at Krystal, sure she’d understand, and sat on the bed.  “Emily, what the hell are you talking about?  Get where?  Why?  Don’t you know I am kind of in the middle of something important—like life-altering important?”

“Eddie, so am I.  I just got you a sitcom deal—and one hell of one, too!  How would you like to be seen during prime time?”

“Are you fucking serious?”  I looked over at Krystal.  She did not seem mad or anything, so I went on the balcony to finish my conversation.  “So, where am I supposed to be right ‘now’, as you put it?”

“I need you to be here in Los Angeles at nine in the morning tomorrow morning.  Can you do that? I will have the Cessna meet you at the airport.  I have already made arrangements.  That is, unless you are a douche and do not want this to happen.”

“You’ve got to be crazy if you think I’d miss this opportunity.  How long do I need to be in town?”

“About a week.”

I thought to myself that maybe Krystal would come with me for a week.  I mean, surely no one would mind her being gone one extra week, right?  I was obviously wrong.  I wrapped up my conversation and walked back into the room.  I was gone maybe twenty minutes, but she was not where I left her.  So, I checked the bathroom.  There were only so many places she could be in a hotel room.  I checked with front desk.  They said a young woman matching Krystal’s description did leave the lobby, crying, but they could not be certain if it was her. 

At that moment, I knew I had lost her.  She was gone, but I still held out hope that she’d have me when things settled down.  It’s now been three months, and I am due to be in our little home town next week.  That is when I am going to surprise her and hopefully, propose again. 

I have arranged everything.  The florist from the next town is going to deliver three thousand roses.  I have talked to an old friend of ours that told me she still never locks her door.  Our hometown was so small that you can still leave your doors unlocked.  Anyhow, the florist is to go in while she’s at work and set the roses up all over her living room.  In the center will be a life-size stuffed plush bear with a heart on its tummy.  A banner will be displayed that says:  ‘Will You Marry Me?’  While she’s gasping and in complete awe, I will be standing in the door way.  When I think she’s had enough, I will clear my throat and present her with the ring.  She’ll cry, say ‘yes’, and life will be good.  I cannot wait to get this going. 

***

Krystal

              In three more days, I pick up Gage from Jimmy.  I am off from work for the next three days, so I decided to take in a little shopping therapy.  I normally don’t shop for clothes and things, but today, I am taken up with the feeling of wanting to just get dressed up.  Heck, I don’t even have to actually purchase anything.  I just want to play dress-up, more or less.  So, I jump in my old beat-up yellow 1989 Honda Accord and drive toward the mall. 

              I end up walking around for three hours!  I couldn’t believe it myself, that I had been in there for three hours.  My mom would have been proud.  I was probably one of the few teenagers, growing up, that refused to go to the mall.  Picking my prom dress was absolutely a chore.  I think I requested that I have my wisdom teeth extracted the day we were supposed to pick out a dress, though I was excited about going to the prom.  I just did not see what the fuss was about in having to have this alleged ‘perfect dress’. 

              Anyhow, I loaded my trunk with six bags of clothes, jewelry, and perfume for myself and some clothes and toys for Gage—as if that boy needed more stuff.  Between his father, myself, and both sets of grandparents, I think he was getting a little spoiled.  

              I don’t know why, but today felt like it was going to be special.  It was just going to be different.  I could feel the vibrations of the coming changes all around me.  My skin tingled with anticipation, but from what I had no clue.  Even the air felt different.  I stood there, closing my trunk, and looked around.  The world seemed to come alive for me for the first time in so long.  I felt—I felt as if I were seventeen again and the world was mine for the taking.  The greens of the trees and the grass seemed to shine like emeralds while the blue of the sky reminded me of pictures of the North Sea I saw in books as a child.  The air had an electrical magnetism that suspended all animation to the point it felt as if I was the only one who really existed.  It was absolutely exhilarating.  I felt like I possessed a secret of which the world never would know.  Boy, was I wrong!