Tony: Alvarez Security Series (18 page)

Tony settled onto the worn sofa, twisting the cap off of the beer as his father sat back in his recliner. The two men drank their beers in silence for a few minutes, both knowing the words would come when the time was right. Tony’s gaze moved from the TV to his father, still in good health and looking very much like an older version of himself. Tall, with now graying hair but the same brown eyes.
Alvarez Eyes
his mother always said.

After another moment, his father lifted the remote turning the sound down. “You ready to talk, son?”

Smiling, Tony knew that his dad was fully aware that he had not just dropped by. “You always could read me, couldn’t you?” he said.

“It’s what parents do,” came the easy answer, then a quick look of sorrow crossed his father’s face. “I’m sorry, son,” he apologized.

The slicing pain that Tony expected from any comment about parents and children did not come. A dull ache was in his heart, but he just sighed, saying, “It’s okay, dad. I can’t resent others being parents just because that was taken from me.”

A silence ensued once more, this one slightly less comfortable. Rubbing his hand over his face, Tony blurted, “I’ve found someone dad.”

His father’s sharp eyes cut over to Tony’s face. When no other statement came forward, he prompted, “And…?”

“I’ve already fucked it up.”

“This woman like you too?”

Tony leaned forward, placing his forearms on his knees, hanging his head. “Yeah.”

“Then I’d say you haven’t really fucked anything up too badly that can’t be repaired, son.”

“I never thought I’d find someone after Marla. I sure as hell wasn’t looking,” he said shaking his head.

“You’re a young man, Tony. You had love once, but no reason to think you can’t have it again. Your mother, God rest her soul, would be singing from the rafters to know you had found a woman again.”

Tony thought of his mom who passed away two years earlier after a long battle with cancer. His dad was right…his mom would have wanted him to be happy, but at the time all he could do was grieve. For her…for Sofia…for Marla. Death had stalked him, or so it seemed. Rubbing his hand over his face again, he turned toward his dad once again.

“I met her a year ago on a rescue mission. Name’s Sherrie. She’s smart, worked hard to make something of her life from a shit beginning. I looked into those scared blue eyes, and felt something, dad, that I hadn’t been prepared for.”

His father chuckled while nodding. “Yeah, it can hit you like that.” Sobering after a moment, he asked, “So what’s the problem?”

“I…I spent so much time after Marla and Sofia died thinking that that was it for me. I’d loved. I’d become a father. And I lost it all. One fuckin’ phone call and it was all gone. I wasn’t prepared to ever…feel again.”

“You been dating this Sherrie for a year?”

“Nah. I’ve been fighting my attraction to her for a year. We just hooked up recently.”

“And….”

“I finally decided that I couldn’t fight it anymore. Even though being with her felt great, at first I felt guilty, like I was cheating or something. But I went for it anyway, and I think she knew that. Then I had the craziest dream.” Tony looked at his dad wondering what he thought about all of this.

Plunging ahead, he told his father about the dream where Marla told him to be happy with Sherrie. “But I must have said her name in my sleep and Sherrie heard, so she left. She thinks I won’t be able to love her.”

“Did you explain? Did you tell her what you’re feeling?” his dad asked, concern etching his face.

“No. I just let her walk away.”

His father huffed as he brought his recliner back to a sitting position. “Son, you let her walk away because
you’re
the one who doesn’t think he deserves a second chance at love.” At this, Tony’s gaze jumped to his dad’s, but before he could say anything, his dad continued on his roll.

“You felt so goddamn responsible for Marla and Sofia’s death, when in truth there was nothing you coulda done to prevent it.” Seeing that Tony was about to speak, he threw his hand up. “And don’t give me that cockamamie excuse of ‘if I wasn’t overseas bullshit’. The plain fact of the matter is that they were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Ain’t no one to blame anymore than I can blame someone for the cancer that took your mama. And the idea that we can only love once in our lives? Where the hell did you get that?”

Tony knew better than to interrupt his father and if he was truthful with himself, he craved the words his father was giving him.

The older man leaned forward, his warm gaze holding his son’s. “You and I loved good women. I got to have mine a helluva lot longer than yours. And I got to see my child become an adult. You got gypped out of both of those things. But son, that don’t mean your life is over. You can love again and that don’t take one goddamn thing away from what you and Marla had. You’re a good man with a lot of love to give, if you’ll just allow yourself to give it. It also means that you know a good thing when you find it.”

The corners of Tony’s mouth turned up slightly at the vehemence of his dad’s words.
I
know a good thing when I find it. I sure as fuck do. And Sherrie is it.

Nodding slowly, he added, “I needed to hear that, Dad. I knew it deep down inside, but I needed to hear it.”

His father leaned his recliner back and settled in facing the game on the muted TV once again. “So, when am I gonna meet her?” he said with a smile.

“Soon I hope, dad. But first I gotta win her back.” With that Tony stood and leaned over to embrace his father before letting himself out of the house. Feeling lighter than he had in years, he knew what he needed to do. Driving home he began to plan out his attack. Sherrie just became his new mission.

*

Gabe, Vinny, and
Jobe met Tony at a small Mexican restaurant near their apartment complexes. Tony had sent out a meeting notice and the brothers-in-arms jumped to meet, no questions asked.

The three looked at their former commander and saw the familiar steely look of determination in his eyes.

“Captain, what’s up?” Jobe asked.

Tony looked around at his friends, feeling uncomfortable. “Need some advice.” He glanced at Vinny and joked, “Although I’ve got no idea why in the hell I had you come.”

Leaning back, Vinny looked at him in surprise.

Jobe, laughing, just said, “Then it’s gotta be advice about a woman.”

Throwing his hand across his heart, Vinny declared, “Hell, Captain. I’m the man you want if you need advice on women. I got more experience than all of y’all put together.”

Gabe rolled his eyes, saying, “Uh huh. And that’s just why he doesn’t need your advice. You can’t keep one around long enough to know what the hell advice to give.”

“I’ll have you know, women leave my bed plenty satisfied. Haven’t heard any complaints yet, bro,” Vinny added.

Tony began to doubt his sanity in talking to his closest friends.
Hell, I shoulda kept this to myself.

Jobe, seeing Tony’s reticence, spoke up. “You know we’re here for you, right Tony?”

The twins sobered at seeing the look on his face. “Is it Sherrie?” Gabe asked.

“Yeah. We finally hooked up at the cabin and I thought things were progressing. Then I started getting in my head, thinking about Marla and just when I knew it was okay to move on with my life, I said her name in my sleep and Sherrie heard.”

“And she got pissed?” Vinny surmised.

“No, not at all,” Tony admitted to the others, seeing the surprise on their faces. “She just interpreted it as my trying to replace Marla with her. So she walked away and like a dumb fuck, I let her. I need to get her back but have no idea how to do this.”

The three friends silently watched Tony struggle with his emotions. They had watched their leader bury his grief in missions and getting the job done. And they had watched their friend shut out life. Now with the possibility that he was ready to move on with life, they were ready to do anything to help.

Tony rubbed his hand over his face, sighing loudly. “I married my college sweetheart right after graduation and with basic training, Officer Candidate School, and then Special Forces training, we weren’t together all that much. We were young, in love, and willing to put up with the long distance marriage just to be married. And when she got pregnant, hell I thought I’d won the lottery.”

His eyes stared off into the distance and his friends would not have interrupted him for anything. Tony talking about his feelings…they would protect them with their lives.

“The truth is that I don’t know much about dating. Or women. Or how to fix things when they get fucked up. But Sherrie is worth me knowing what the hell I’m doing.” His gazed leveled at them as he vowed, “She’s worth it and by God, I’m going to get a second chance at living.”

“Thank fuck,” Gabe stated emphatically.

Vinny just leaned back, a shit-eating grin on his face. He did not see himself ever settling on one woman, but if that was what his Captain wanted then he would see it done.

“Flowers,” Vinny declared. “That’ll turn her into mush. Women love that shit.”

Gabe popped his twin on the back of his head. “Yeah, this coming from the man who can’t keep it in his pants for one woman.”

“Hey,” Vinny groused. “I’ve never met a woman who could stay pissed when they got flowers. Big ones. Real expensive and showy.”

Tony looked dubious, saying, “I don’t see Sherrie being impressed with a bouquet of flowers that some flower shop sent.”

Gabe piped up, “Nah man. Do what I did to win Jennifer over. Jobe suggested I find out what was missing in her life and do that. Turned out it was just something for fun, so I took her out for a carriage ride.”

Tony doubted that a carriage ride would make Sherrie not doubt his feelings for her. He glanced over at Jobe, usually the voice of reason.

“Once again, you all stagger me in your ignorance of women,” Jobe said, shaking his head. “My family had very little money growing up and I never doubted the love between my mother and father. Still don’t, for that matter.” Looking at Vinny, he declared, “Flowers can be a nice gesture but they sure as shit don’t mean anything without the words behind them.”

Looking at Gabe, he admitted, “You did good by giving Jennifer something just for fun, but that’s not Sherrie. She’d doubting Tony and probably even herself.”

Vinny, throwing back his beer, said, “Okay genius, what’s your solution? If you’re so wise, let’s hear it.”

Jobe looked Tony in the eyes and asked, “Do you love her?”

Vinny snorted as Gabe jerked his head around to peer closely at Tony also.

“Yes,” Tony clipped, not wasting any time in answering.

“Have you told her yet?” Jobe continued.

Shaking his head, Tony admitted, “No. I honestly wasn’t sure until today but there’s no doubt in my mind that I do.”

“Then it’s simple,” Jobe declared. “Tell her. Honesty is what Sherrie craves. She’s been used and lied to before. All she needs is simple honesty.”

Gabe agreed, saying, “I think Jobe’s right.”

Vinny lifted his eyebrows in question but wisely kept quiet. He knew that just because he had no desire to settle down with one woman, if his friend was in love then he was happy for him.

Tony, deep in thought, slowly nodded. “She hasn’t had a lot of honesty. First, being bounced around foster families, then trying to keep Charisse out of trouble. The gang her sister was involved in lied to Sherrie to keep her from turning them in to the authorities. She’s learned to guard herself to try from getting hurt.”

“Then that’s it, man,” Jobe prodded. “She’s not looking for you to buy her anything. She doesn’t need jewelry, flowers, expensive dinners. She just needs you…and to know that you are giving yourself to her. You love her, Captain? You gotta tell her.”

Throwing down the last of his beer, Tony shoved his chair back. Tossing some bills on the table, he said, “Thanks guys. Buy another round on me. I’ve got somewhere I need to be.” With that he walked out of the restaurant, feeling the smiles of his men following him out of the door.

*

Sherrie sat propped
in bed, her Kindle resting on her knees as she tried to read.
It’s no use trying to fall in love with the characters in my novel when all I can see in my mind is Tony.
She sighed, tossing her Kindle to her nightstand.