To the Steadfast (16 page)

“Cody?” I follow his
voice toward the window and slip out it toward where he has the blankets laid
out. He’s sitting, dressed in pajama pants and an old T-shirt with a pair of
binoculars in one hand.

“Hey,” I say, climbing
out the window.

He throws the plastic
binoculars to the side and then scoots down the roof a little ways before
stopping.

“Took you long enough.”

“The sun went down no
more than a half hour ago.” I crawl over to the empty spot next to him and lay
back against the cloth to stare at the dark sky.

“Look what I found.” I
show him the picture from his mirror.

He licks his lips and
presses the picture toward my chest. “You keep that.”

 I slip the photo into
my back pocket. “Thanks, so did you have a good day?”

“Spectacular and you?”

“Eventful.”

He nods but is
unusually quiet and tense. Something is wrong.

“What’s bothering you?”

He pulls chocolate from
his pocket. “Nothing at all. Want some?”

I shake my head. He
gasps at my decline. “Cody Lombardi doesn’t want chocolate?”

“I’m not hungry.” I pat
my stomach.

“So your friends were
pretty cool.”

“You mean Suzanne was
pretty cool?”

“No, I liked Lydia as
well.”

“Sure you did.” I let
my eyes wander away from him as I say it.

“What’s wrong with
you?” He sits up and turns to me. “You’re acting kinda jealous.”

“I’m not jealous, but I
know Suzanne. She’s a little boy crazy. Did you get her number?”

He gets a sheepish grin
on his face. “Maybe. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna call her though. She’s a little too
immature for my taste.”

I suddenly feel a bit
protective over her. She’s had a rough time with boys in the past. It’s not
like she hasn’t earned and loved her reputation, but it can be hurtful at
times. “You can’t do that!”

“What? Now you want me
to call her?”

I close my eyes and
take a deep breath. Killian was never this aggravating before. Why is he
getting under my skin? “No…”

He scratches the back
of his neck. “I didn’t ask for it, she just gave it to me.”

I roll my eyes. Go
figure. “She does that.”

“Come here, you. I’ve
missed you.” He holds his arms out and I instinctively fall into them. I
snuggle my head against his chest and instantly feel more relaxed.

“I’ve missed you, too. So
I suppose I should give you
my
number then, huh?”

He grabs my cell which
is tucked snugly in my front pocket. “Here, I’ll do you one even better. I’ll
give you my number.”

I freeze as his hand
grazes the front of my thigh and the only words that come out are “Thank you.”

 I don’t get an
overwhelming sensation or breathlessness when he touches me, not like I get
with Mischa, but I do feel something. Comfort. I go back to staring at the
subdivision, if I can forget his kiss from earlier, things will be normal
again, but I can’t stop thinking about how smooth his lips were and how my body
tingled from it. After what feels like hours of just lying there in each
other’s arms, I sit up and try to get a closer look.

“Do you think they will
ever finish?” I ask.

“Hmm?”

“All the houses. It’s
been so long. I was hoping they’d be done with one soon.” A light flickers
through one of the newly occupied homes. They’re having a party.

“So what? Just make a
toast. Does it really matter anyway?” He doesn’t move and I don’t have to look
up at him to know that he’s half asleep.

“It matters,” I
whisper. They’ve begun construction on some sort of apartment building and the
lights are on inside. They’re working through the night to finish something.

“Cody?”

“Huh?”

“Happy birthday. You’re
no longer jailbait. Do you have a birthday wish?” There’s a bit of sarcasm in
his voice. Eighteen only makes me an adult to the outside world. I’ve been
living an adult life for much longer.

“Nothing that matters.”

“Tell me.” His fingers
graze mine before pulling back.

If there’s ever been
anyone who I could trust, it is Killian. “I don’t want to go to medical
school.” When it finally comes out of my mouth, it feels as if a weight has
been lifted.

“Then why are you
going?”

“My dad went through so
much to get me accepted. I don’t know, I guess I just wanted him to be proud of
me.”

“You should do what you
want, not what everyone else wants for you.

I roll my eyes at him.
“You’re one to talk.”

He grabs my hand and
squeezes tight. Concern crosses his face. “Being the perfect daughter won’t
give you better parents. If you don’t stand up for yourself now, you’ll regret
it for the rest of your life.”

His eyes are sad like
he has his own regrets in life.

“You’re wrong.” As much
as I hate to admit it, my dad has been trying. My mom, not so much.

“Hey now. I’m just
passing on words of wisdom.”

“‘I’ll think about it.”

This seems to satisfy
him for a few moments. “Cody?”

My ears perk up. “Huh?”

“I have something
important to tell you.”

The seriousness in his
voice worries me so I look up into his eyes. “Yeah?”

“That girl you saw on
the day you returned. She was—”

“Cody?” The sound of my
name from somewhere nearby causes Killian and me to look around.

Moisture appears on my
brow. I know that voice.

“Cody! Where are you? I
know you’re out here. Violet told me she was just here.”

“Who’s that?” Killian
asks, he leans over the edge of the roof to peer into my backyard.

Mischa is walking
through the patio towards the back door. “Come on, Cody.”

Should I answer or
pretend I’m not home?

“Up here!” I yell, my
voice uneasy.

Mischa spins around and
looks up to the rooftop. “What you doing up there? Who’s with you?”

Killian’s jaw tightens.
He doesn’t answer so I say, “This is Killian.”

“Oh, I see!” Mischa
calls out.

Killian still doesn’t
answer. It’s not like I’m seeing either guy, but I still feel like I’ve been
caught in an apprehensive position.

“I talked to Violet. I
need to talk to you,” Mischa calls out again.

I don’t answer. I’m
spending time with Killian, but I really want to see Mischa. I’d been waiting
for him to show up all week. Killian will understand, I think.

I turn to him and try
to find the right words. “You don’t mind if I go, right? I mean you were
falling asleep anyway, right?”

Killian lies back down.
“Don’t go. It’s almost midnight. Why else would he be showing up at your home?
You’re better than some booty call.”

“I need to talk to
him.” I’m making excuses. I know this. There’s no real importance in talking to
him, and he may
actually
be here for some sort of booty call.

“If you really want to,
then go.”

“Are you sure? I
don’t—”

“Go.” His voice becomes
more strained and there’s an anger in it that wasn’t there before, but he
refuses to look at me.

Something begs me to
stay and lay in the comfort of his arms until morning, but another part of me,
the selfish part of me, the stupid part of me, wants to go with Mischa. It’s
the part of me that still wants him, longs for him. Deep inside, I know I
shouldn’t go. Mischa has done this before. Ignore me until he wants something,
but I can’t help but want to be around him. There’s no good explanation and I
know Killian would never understand. Hell, I don’t even understand why I’m
doing it. It’s like when Mischa calls, I’ll always come running.

“I’ll call you later.”
I scoot back toward his window and climb back in. Whatever Mischa wants, it’d
better be good.

I find him on my back
porch flipping through some sort of home designing magazine.

“Took you long enough.”
He looks up at me with those big eyes.

“I was hanging out with
a friend. Now that you’ve pulled me away, what’s up?”

“You wanna go inside? I
feel weird hanging out here with your neighbor staring me down.”

I look back up to where
Killian is sitting. I shouldn’t have left him up there all alone. He obviously
wanted to talk about something. He’s not looking at us. In fact, he’s
pretending a little too hard to be staring at something across the street. If I
take Mischa inside, the guilt will only feel worse.

“Actually, let’s get
out of here.” When we make it to the front gate, I realize he has no car.

“How did you get here?”
I ask.

He stumbles a little.
“I walked from the bar.”

“They served you at the
bar?” I walk over to my mom’s car and motion for him to get in. He’s drunk, and
I don’t like him when he’s drunk. A sad look crosses his face, and I sigh.

 “I’m taking you home.”

“No, please,” he slurs.
“I don’t want to go there. I wanted to see you again. I want to pretend with
you for a while.”

Tears sting my eyes.
“Pretend?”

“Pretend you won’t be
leaving in a month.”

“It doesn’t have to be
that way. You can always come with me, apply to a school in New York.”

He holds his hands out.
“Don’t go there, okay?”

“But you’re so smart.
If you’d just apply yourself—”

“I’m nothing special,
Cody. After you left, I thought about applying to community college, but life
got in the way. My life will always be in the way.”

I feel bad for always
pushing him. Maybe that’s our catalyst. He wants to stay in Betty and I want
nothing more than to get out and experience the world. “Really? Why didn’t
you?”

His bloodshot eyes
glaze over. “I don’t want to talk about my screwed up life. Let’s get out of
here.”

I start the engine and
pull the car out of the driveway. “Where to?”

He looks over, a cheesy
grin spreading across his face. “Shit Creek.”

Shit Creek resides just outside
of town, a place with more forest than creek in the
middle of nowhere. Perfect for four wheelers and big redneck trucks, not for
luxury vehicles. Just the thought of getting mud on my mother’s pride and joy
makes me smile. I park just inside the entrance and turn the ignition off.

“Really?
Shit Creek?” I raise an eyebrow. I don’t know exactly where the name came from,
but I’ve heard it’s haunted. It has something to do with kids saying you’ll
have the shit scared out of you.

“What?
You scared? You know as good as I do, there’s nowhere else for us to go. What?
You want me to take you to the movies?”

I
remember how much he’s had to drink. “Yeah, right. I’m not taking your drunk
butt out in public.”

“You
wanna go for a walk? I found this clearing a few months ago. It’s dark enough
to see the stars.”

If
this wasn’t Mischa, I’d be a little uneasy about being out here, but he is and
I’m not. He gets out so I unbuckle my seatbelt and follow his lead.

We
walk hand in hand through the darkness. Water moving over the rocks can be
heard in the distance.  As soon as we are in the full view of the moonlight,
Mischa turns to me. He runs his hand down the side of my cheek. “This is the
place. Isn’t it beautiful?”

I
look around, and even though my eyes have adjusted to the dark, there’s still
not much to see. We’re on the edge of a clearing overlooking the entire town.
He’s right about one thing. The stars are amazing out here. 

“Wow, you can see Main
Street from here,” I remark, watching our darkened town in the distance.

He laughs into my hair
before pulling me close. “It looks better in the daylight, I swear.”

“I can’t believe I let
you talk me into getting out of the car.”

A summer wind blows
through the clearing, and a trail of goosebumps run up my arm.

He runs his hands up
and down my arms to warm me. “You’re so brave.”

“Yeah, right,” I say. I
look deep into his eyes, searching for a truth. Bravery is not my strong suit, and
I’ve always had a weakness for guys named Mischa.

A tingle shoots down my
spine as he brings his lips close. His kisses trail up my neck toward my face.

“I never forgot about
you.” His whisper soothes me.

 I should stop him.
This isn’t right.

“We can’t,” I choke
out. Each word pains me to say.

“Why not?”

“Kate.”

He tenses as I say her
name. “She isn’t the reason we can’t be together so let’s not worry about her.”

His comment confuses
me, and I open my mouth to ask him what he means. A rustling in the woods
disturbs our moment. My pulse quickens in fear.

“Who’s there?” he calls
out, while pulling me into his arms. My body trembles as a million different
scenarios run through my mind. We’re about to be murdered. How cliché. We came
out to lover’s lane and are going to end up chopped to bits by some ax
murderer.  I curl into his body as much as possible as he calls out again.
“Show yourself!”

A bush rattles before
something pops out. I don’t even look to see what it is. I run as fast as I can
through the trees, back to the car. I don’t look back, afraid I’ll fall flat on
my face. After I jump over a fallen tree that we hadn’t passed on the way out,
I realize I’m not going the right way. I switch directions and move more to the
right.

“Cody!” Mischa calls from
somewhere in the darkness.

I don’t know if he’s
yelling for me to run faster or to stop so I keep going. I keep waiting for
something to grab me, stab me in the back, but it doesn’t happen. When I find
the car, I pull on the door handles. Locked. I run my hands over my pockets,
but I don’t have my keys. I must have dropped them.

“Oh, no. No, no, no.” I
run around the car to the other side and try the other door. It’s locked as well.
Something touches my waist, and I let out a blood-curling scream.

“Shhh!” A hand covers
my mouth. “Cody, it’s me. It’s Mischa.”

I spin around and throw
my arms around his neck.

I must have been
holding on too tight because he pries me off. “It’s okay, babe. It was only an
animal.” He holds up my keys. “You dropped these.”

“So much for being
brave, huh?” I say, trying to catch my breath.

I unlock the doors and
sprint to the driver’s side.

“Holy crap!” I yell as
Mischa gets in beside me. I immediately lock my door and take a huge breath of
air. “Let’s get out of here!”

He grins at me as I
start the car. “So I guess you’re not in the mood to hook up anymore.”

Running my tongue
across my lips, I lean in close to him. “I’m gonna make you work a little
harder.”