To Russia With Love (Countermeasure Series) (62 page)

Trevor broke the silence. “Well that was fun.”

“About as much fun as a root canal,” Cassandra grimaced.

“Nikol?”

“Yes?” Nikol responded to Trevor’s questioning tone.

“I have to ask. Dmitriy and Tatiana?”

“They are still where you left them at the farm. They are safe for the moment. But I would recommend moving them out of there as soon as possible. I was able to track them. Others might, too.”

Trevor stood and held out his hand to Cassandra. “We’ll do that in a few hours. We need to catch some shuteye. It’s been a long couple of weeks. I am tired and sore.” He turned his head to Nelson. “I would appreciate it if you could stay a little longer. I’d like to discuss something with you before you go.”

When Nelson nodded his head affirmatively, Trevor led Cassandra to the hall. At the entry, Cassandra pulled up short and turned back to face Nikol. A small smile quirked the side of her mouth. “I just have to say this. Girl, you’ve got some mad moves. You knocked him out—” Cassandra stopped and chuckled when a growl sounded deep in Nelson’s chest. “Anyway. Stay and regroup before you go.”

Nikol couldn’t hold back a little smirk at the memory of Nelson flying back through the air. “Thank you for the offer, but I cannot stay. I have to check in.”

Cassandra nodded in understanding and joined Trevor, who wrapped his arm around her neck and led her away, laughing at something she whispered to him.

The minute the sound of the door closing at the end of the hall reached them, Nelson’s brow pulled into an affronted frown. Nikol raised an eyebrow at the clear dislike displayed on his features.

He then stared directly into her eyes, his green gaze burning like the fires of hell, a tormented pissed-off look she knew all too well. She stared back and, as the minutes passed, each narrowed their eyes to slits, both determined to win the staring contest they’d started. She wasn’t leaving until she was named the victor, even if that meant killing the son of a bitch in front of her.

Mistaken

T
HE SATURDAY CROWD PACKED THE Brazen Head. The mouthwatering aroma of traditional Irish food coiled in the air, drawing passersby and regular patrons alike. Stephan’s mood matched the sorrowful songs in the background. His favorite dish tasted like ash on his tongue.

He could still hear Jessica’s parting words, “
…you know where to find us. But don’t take too long, or I might be the one passing on the offer.
” He had reflected on the words every waking moment since. They had forced him to take a long hard look at himself and his desires. After some soul-searching, he had found his answer. Stephan had made peace with his past and knew what he had to do to fix the future.

Jessica’s news gave him a second chance at life. He would accept that child as his own. Marry Jessica and leave everything, including her association with Sean, behind them. If he didn’t grab hold of the opportunity Jessica had presented to him, he would lose not only her but a chance at a life he had always wanted—a woman who loved him, a child to spoil, the house with a white picket fence. He would deal with his trust issues as they formed their life together, while he lived, breathed, and enjoyed Jessica’s company and a child he planned to call his own. It didn’t matter who the child’s real father was, only that he sure as hell would be that baby’s dad. He would do everything in his power to make that happen.

Stephan stood and dropped a few notes on the table to cover his tab. A smile formed on his lips and his step had a new spring to it as he walked out into the fresh air. The walk home would clear his head and help him focus. He would need all the courage he could muster to knock on her door.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and, as he rounded the first corner, almost ran into a family exiting a restaurant. The man had his arms full carrying a younger child, and the woman coaxed another little girl tugging on her hand as they headed toward a parked car. The angle of the woman’s head and hand gestures as she spoke to the little tike stroked his memory. His steps faltered and his brow furrowed as he chased the elusive memory. Distracted, he stopped and cocked his head, observing their progress.

At that moment, the woman looked up and their eyes collided. A broad smile filled the woman’s face and knocked the air from his lungs. She detoured toward him with the little girl skipping at her heels. “Oh my god! Stephan!”

“Layla.” A strange cold sense of aloofness numbed his senses, a deep shock at seeing her after so many years. Crossing paths with her so unexpectedly gave him pause.

She caught up with him, wrapped her arms around him, and dropped a kiss on his cheek. “It’s so good to see you. It’s been years.”

His arms automatically wrapped around her, then dropped to his sides as she stepped back. “Ages.” His voice shook more than he would have liked as he looked down into the curious eyes of the little Asian girl attached to her hand.

“Layla?” Stephan’s eyes flew to the man approaching them with the toddler cuddled in his arms.

Layla flashed the man a sunny smile. “John, this is an old friend of mine, Stephan. Stephan, this is my husband.”

“Nice to meet you.” John’s warm tone spoke of his friendly nature.

Stephan accepted John’s extended hand. “Likewise.”

Layla must have seen the questioning look on his face as he gazed on the children because she responded immediately, “We were celebrating. John and I have just arrived from China. These are our new little daughters. We fell in love with them on our first visit to the orphanage there. We are blessed to have found the two sisters. The international adoption process was a grueling road, but now that they are here, we can finally be a family.”

Stephan brushed the bangs from the little girl’s forehead. “They’re beautiful. Congratulations to you both.”

“Layla, we’ll wait for you at the car. It was nice meeting you, Stephan.” John nodded his head and took the other little girl by the hand.

Layla smiled happily after them. A sad chuckle escaped Stephan and she turned back to him with a questioning gaze. “What a pair we are.” He shook his head. “I seem to be attracted to women who want children, and you are attracted to men who can’t give them to you.”

Layla’s expression turned to puzzlement. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you had to adopt after all, even though all you have ever wanted was to grow big with your own. I bet you must have been disappointed to find out you had the same problem with John. Is there an epidemic in Ireland?” He chuckled again sarcastically. “Sorry, I guess I had a few too many pints.”

Horror flooded Layla’s eyes. A flush flashed across her cheeks as she shook her head and reached for his hand. “Oh my god, Stephan. You thought it was your fault? Oh, Stephan.” The sympathy in her eyes and sadness coloring her voice sent his heart careening in his chest. “Stephan, I think you might have gotten things confused. It’s always been me. I’m the one who can’t conceive.”

Stephan’s world turned upside down at that moment. His ears rang and his legs turned to jelly. He stumbled and would have fallen on his face if Layla hadn’t reached for his other arm, steadying him. “What do you mean?”

“I told you. Over the phone. I left you the note.”

“No, the note said I couldn’t give you what you wanted. I thought you meant…that I…that it was my fault you couldn’t get—”

“No! Dear lord. No! I said you couldn’t give me what I wanted because I believed you were only interested in a child of your own blood.”

He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head in denial. “No. You were what mattered most to me. I would have done anything to make you happy. Including taking the step you just now took with John.”

“Stephan.
Look
at me.” Stephan opened his eyes and she held his gaze. “I’m sorry my message wasn’t clear. I never meant to hurt you. I just couldn’t face the fact that you would see me differently. Expect things from me I couldn’t give you. Want me to be someone I couldn’t be. A mother to your biological children.”

“I couldn’t have cared less about blood ties. I wanted you to marry me, grow old with me. You were the one pushing for a child. I just wanted the commitment. With you. Then.” His voice sounded stifled and unnatural even to his own ears.

She shook her head. “I. Am. So. Sorry. I was so hurt, so out of my head by the news I gave little thought to the rest. I buried myself in a hole of self-pity for a long time. Then, I met John. He made me feel alive again. He’s the one who prompted me to consider adoption.”

Stephan rubbed his eyes and sighed. “I am happy you finally got what you wanted, Layla. I truly am.”

“How about you? Did you find your happily ever after you always talked about?”

A soft smile twitched the corner of his mouth. “You remember that, do you?” His smile faded as Jessica’s image filled his mind. “Come to think of it, I actually have. But I might have just blown it with her. How do you ask someone for forgiveness after being an utter jackass?”

Layla laughed and smiled up at him. “By using those exact words.”

A car’s horn sounded in the distance and Layla briefly glanced over her shoulder. “The girls are probably antsy. I have to go.” She pulled him into her arms and squeezed him tight. “It was really good seeing you again. Please keep in touch.” She pulled a card from her purse and handed it to him. “Give me a call after you have managed to gain that forgiveness. I am sure that whoever she is, she’s a special woman. I’d like to meet her someday.”

“She is very special. And yes…I’d like that.”

Stephan leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Goodbye, Layla.”

“Goodbye, Stephan.” She piled into the passenger seat of the car and waved as they drove away.

A cold tingling spread under his skin, his palms began to sweat, and his thoughts were a jumbled mess. All those years. His emotions were on a turbulent rollercoaster beginning with confusion, spiraling into anger, and flipping into jubilation. Jessica carried
his
child.

Exhilaration coursed through him. His soft chuckle grew into a quiet laugh and then into booming laughter. It grew even louder as passersby gave him strange looks. If only they knew. Once the frenzy of the emotions bubbling inside him died down, he could breathe again. It dawned on him that he wasn’t bitter. He wasn’t angry with Layla. Those mistaken words forged who he had become. A good friend to Conor and Maeve. A top executive. A guardian to Trevor. The man that Jessica loved. And yes, a father to be.

A big smile spread across his face as he changed directions and headed to St. Stephen’s Green in search of atonement and forgiveness. In search of the future he always dreamed of.

*****

Jessica was tired of embracing the porcelain altar. It was one thing to pray to the god of food and drink after an evening of too many Cosmopolitans; another to spend the entire morning paying tribute at even the thought of the tiniest crumb. Having survived another bout of nausea, Jessica made one last attempt at a light lunch.

She shook her head and snorted when the Imperial March reverberated through the house. “Only Trevor.” Leaving the kettle on, Jessica sauntered in her bare feet down to the foyer and across the cool smooth wooden floor to the door. There were already several packages upstairs waiting for Trevor. At that rate, she would be on a first-name basis with the couriers.

“Yes, I can sign…” she began as she opened the door. Her jaw dropped open when her eyes crashed into Stephan’s. Lightheadedness overwhelmed her and she blinked several times.
Oh hell. You will not be sick. Don’t you dare get sick.
“Stephan! What…” The memory of the day before swiftly crushed the hope fluttering in her stomach. His words had fractured a wide chasm in her ability to trust him. “Trevor isn’t here. He and Cassie aren’t back yet.”

Her heart did a big cartwheel as his eyes roamed over her figure and darkened with emotion. His lips twitched. “That’s why I couldn’t find it.” Blushing, she self-consciously adjusted the hem of the button-down shirt and shrugged.

“Can I come in?” His quiet effervescent tone gave her pause. At a loss for words, Jessica didn’t want to hear any more of his absurd accusations. A piercing pain found its way through her heart again, the same pain she’d experienced the day before when he had cut her to pieces with his harsh words. It hurt that he had so easily believed her a manipulative liar. Stephan should have known better.

“Jessica?” The rich timbre of his voice cut through her jumbled reflections.

She raised her chin with a cool stare. “I’m not sure this is a good idea.” She pushed the door closed but he blocked it with his foot.

“Jessica…please. Hear me out. I have a lot to say.”

“I don’t want to hear what you have to say right now.”

He moved closer to the door and held her gaze. “I reckon I’m an idiot. You have every right to tell me to piss off. But you have to hear me out.” His eyes darted to her tummy. “Please? For the sake of our child?”

“There is no
our
child. You said it yourself. You said I…that I….” Jessica shook her head and pushed the door again.