To Love and Heal (The Power of Love Series) (2 page)

Caleb looked up at
the ceiling as he took a deep breath and slowly let it out, hoping it would
sweep away some of the tightness in his chest and stomach.  But the
chokehold remained.  He closed his eyes and searched deep within his
psyche for happy and comforting thoughts.  If he could just pull some from
the past, back to when they actually existed, then maybe they could bring him to
a better place now.  But what disturbed him even more was the fact that
actual feelings were no longer connected to these memories.  He would
force them to play out in his mind – riding a bike for the very first time,
teenage adventures with friends, Christmas gatherings with family – and they no
longer provoked a feeling of well-being, a notion that he was safe and all was
right in the world.  In fact, there was no feeling connected to them at
all. And the more he grasped at feeling something that was no longer there, the
more anxiety that flooded his being.  It couldn't stay that way, he told
himself.  One day the feeling would return, like Novocain wearing off as
the nerve endings tingled back to life.  

And until then, he
would have to hide his dilemma from others and do the best that he could to
simply get through each day.

Anna twirled in
front of her full-length bedroom mirror to check the hem of her flowered
sundress, which fell just above her knees.  Turning to face her
reflection, she sighed as her shoulders heaved downward. Taking a few steps
backwards, she flopped down on her bed next to a pile of dresses that had
failed to make the cut.  She was about to embark on her second dinner date
with Steve Tyson, a nice enough guy who she had met at a mutual friend's
cookout several weeks ago.  Nice enough … but not exactly exciting
enough.  Anna wasn't looking for a relationship fired by drama, but as a
big believer in chemistry, she was at the very least looking for a spark. 
And based on their pleasant-enough yet lackluster date – and the fact that she
hadn't really thought about him since – she had already concluded the situation
held little potential.  Still, she agreed to a second date knowing that
chemistry could sometimes kick in once two people got to know each other
better.  Sitting up, she lifted up her legs that dangled over the side of
the bed, staring at her strappy white sandals in an effort to divert her
thoughts elsewhere.  Her focus settled on her shoes, but only for a moment
as they continued to drift off with a clear destination in mind: Caleb. 
He was a virtual stranger – one that she had hired to remodel her home while
residing on her property – but a stranger nonetheless. And yet … it was almost
as if he hadn't quite left her thoughts since he first walked through her front
door several days ago.  There was no doubt that she found him physically
attractive – make that
very
physically attractive – but there was
definitely something more to it. She knew that behind the strong and quiet
outer visage, there was a soldier who had witnessed events too horrendous for
words, a man struggling to make the transition from hell on earth to the
"normalcy" of being back home.  And something told her the
situation felt anything but normal to him right now.  Anna's thoughts were
momentarily interrupted as Merlin, her gray tiger cat, jumped up on the bed,
rubbing his face against her arm in a plea for affection.  She gladly
obliged, scratching the top of his head and finding comfort as she always did in
the rhythmic drone of his contented purr.

She glanced at the
clock, trying to motivate herself to get moving since she was supposed to be
meeting Steve in a mere thirty minutes.  She was glad that she had
insisted on taking her own car after he offered to pick her up for the date …
it would make for a quicker getaway if needed.  Stop, she said silently to
herself.  Give him a chance and maybe she would be presently surprised.

Grabbing a white
knit sweater and her purse, she headed into the living room.  Caleb looked
up from where he had been kneeling by his toolbox, dropping a wrench inside at
precisely the same moment that Anna nearly skidded to halt just several feet
away. 

"Oh – I'm
sorry!  I didn't realize you were still working."

He stood up, her
eyes rising with him and liking very much what they saw.

"It's your
house.  No need to apologize."

"You do
realize that I don't expect you to work around the clock, right?"

It took a few
moments, but he managed to smile.  "I actually packed up my tools a
half hour ago, but then I realized I left some in this room."  He
nodded towards the three-inch heels of her sandals.  "I wouldn't want
you tripping on a screwdriver or anything."

She smiled, almost
relieved to see a slight grin cross his face as his eyes met hers with
surprising ease. "By the way, there are some lawn chairs and a fire pit
out back, so feel free to use them if you'd like."

"Thanks."

"Well, I'm
heading out for a bit," she said, trying unsuccessfully to hide the
awkwardness in her voice. 

"I'll lock
the door behind me," he added as he nodded towards the entrance that
opened into the backyard. He paused, then turned back to her.  "You
know you should always keep your doors locked, right?"

Initially taken
aback, Anna softened at the realization that his comment was merely a safety
precaution. "Yes – of course.  I left them unlocked today so you
could go in and out whenever you needed."

"Good. You
never know who or what's lurking around the corner, even in a quiet area like
this."

"You're
right. Well … enjoy the evening."

"You,
too."  As she turned to leave, he added, "You look very nice, by
the way."

She froze, glad
her back was to him so that he couldn't see the Cheshire smile on her face.

"Thank
you," she said, suddenly feeling more like a schoolgirl than a mature
woman.

As she glanced
back at Caleb one last time to share her appreciation with a smile, she could
only wish that she was meeting him at a restaurant instead.

Steve waved to
Anna from an outside table at the Bistro Romano as she strolled up the
walkway.  He rose from his seat and pulled out a chair for her.

"Thank
you," she said, genuinely appreciating his polite gesture.

"You look
very nice," he noted.  She thanked him again, though she couldn't
help realizing how those same words had a much greater effect when they had
come from Caleb.

Steve sat back in
his chair, exuding an air of confidence that Anna had surmised could easily
cross over into arrogance when the opportunity presented itself.  But as
the CEO of a lucrative investment firm, she knew a strong alpha personality was
a prerequisite to success.  She took a sip of water, discreetly studying
him as her eyes peered over the glass.  He appeared to have come straight
from work, his tall, lean-ish body clad in a dark gray suit, short blonde hair
parted on the side and frozen from an apparent overdose of hair gel.  He
was easy enough on the eyes, and Anna had no doubt that many women would
consider him a prime catch.  But attraction in her book went far beyond a
man's bank account, and all the money in the world couldn't buy her interest if
someone was lacking in the way of character or values. 

As they enjoyed a
leisurely paced meal along with a premium bottle of wine, Anna felt herself
finally begin to relax despite the fact that Steve seemed stuck on one
conversation subject: himself. It wasn't until dessert arrived that he finally
switched gears.

"So, how's
the remodeling situation going?" he asked, his eyes looking up briefly
from a mouth-watering slice of caramel cheesecake. "The last time I saw
you, you had been interviewing people without much luck."

Anna nodded as she
helped herself to a spoonful of grapenut pudding. "I know – I never
thought it would be so hard to find someone both capable and reliable enough to
do the job.  But I finally did."

"Good for
you. A contractor?"

"No. He
actually spent the last five years in Afghanistan, but did some remodeling work
before that."

Steve arched an
eyebrow.  "Afghanistan … really."

Anna shifted
uncomfortably in her chair, slightly taken aback by Steve's dismissive tone of
voice. "I have a feeling he's been through a lot, but he's a really good
worker and I'm happy with the job he's doing."

"I suppose it
beats getting your ass shot off for a stupid war."

Anna studied Steve
for several bewildering moments before finding her voice again.  "I
don't think we've ever talked politics before, but I would have expected you
leaned more to the right than the left."

"Politics has
nothing to do with it.  These wars are bankrupting our country – I'm talking
as a financial advisor."

"I don't
disagree with what you're saying about the financial burden of these
wars.  And I'm not going to pretend that I was a proponent of either the
Afghanistan or Iraq Wars from the get-go – I wasn't, and the longer they drag
on and the more people who are killed, the more I question why we ever went
there in the first place. But that doesn't change the fact that these guys –
and gals – are not having an easy time over there, especially with repeated
tours."

Steve shrugged. 
"They got what they signed up for.  If they come back in a body bag
or without a pair of legs, they only have themselves to thank."

Several moments
passed before Anna realized she was staring at Steve with her mouth slightly
agape.  "Did you really just say that?"

Steve couldn't
appear more nonchalant if he were merely commenting on the weather. 
"Just telling you what I think.  You can't hold that against
me."

Anna pushed her
chair back and stood up, her hands nearly shaking as she rustled in her purse
for some cash.

"What in the
world are you doing?" Steve asked, arrogance replaced with bafflement.

Anna threw two
twenty-dollar bills on the table.  "I think that about covers my
portion of the check."

Steve viewed her
through narrowed eyes that revealed both anger and insult.  "I don't
want your money.  This was a date−"

"It may have
started that way, but that's not how it's ending."

"I don't
understand – is this because of what I said about the wars?  Are you
really that thin-skinned?"

Anna knew that
normally the answer would be "no", but something about this subject matter
had admittedly set her off.  Deep down she realized that she wasn't
defending the wars as much as she was defending Caleb – a man she barely knew,
yet who had somehow already gotten under her skin.

"Have a good
night," she said in a weak attempt to end the evening on a somewhat civil
note. And with that, she headed for her car, feeling as though she couldn't get
home soon enough … especially knowing that Caleb would be in close proximity.

Anna dropped her
keys on the kitchen counter and looked out the back window, doing a double-take
as she spotted Caleb sitting by the fire with a bottle of beer in hand. 
Though she had suggested he make use of the fire pit earlier, she never
expected that he would actually take her up on the offer. Glancing over at a
bottle of Merlot in the wine rack on the far end of the counter, she wondered
whether it was too late to try to redeem a disappointing evening.  In what
was becoming a very recent tendency to act on impulse, she grabbed the bottle
of wine along with a corkscrew and glass, and headed outside.

Caleb was looking
off to the side and seemed deep in thought as she approached – enough so that
he didn't even notice her until she was almost at the fire pit.  His
slightly startled look was quickly replaced with the hint of a smile.

Anna stopped just
short of an empty chair several feet away from him, doing her best to push past
the self-consciousness that had crept up on her as she suddenly wondered what
the heck she was doing. "Hate to see this fire go to waste," she
finally said. "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at
all."  He motioned to her to hand the wine and corkscrew over, and by
the time she settled into her chair, he was ready to fill up her glass.

"Thanks –
that was quick."

"Something
told me you were ready for that drink."

"Cheers,"
she replied as she lifted her glass, wondering if her disappointing dinner was
that obvious.  "How long have you been out here?"

"About a half
hour.  I felt like having a few beers myself so I figured I'd sit outside
since it was starting to cool down."

"I know –
although it's definitely warm in front of this fire."

"You're not
kidding," Caleb acknowledged as stood up to remove his sweatshirt. "I
just added another log a few minutes ago and it's really throwing some
heat."

  As he pulled
the sweatshirt up from the sides, the back of his black tee-shirt was caught as
well, unintentionally exposing his back until he realized that both pieces of
clothing were being pulled over his head. He immediately tugged the tee-shirt
back down, but not before Anna caught an angled glance at the patchwork of deep
scars across his back.  She gasped, immediately thankful that the
crackling fire muted her shocked reaction.

As Caleb sat back
down, staring silently at the ground with the realization that Anna may well
have witnessed his scars, she knew better than to ask him about their origin.

"It's a nice
night," she finally said in her best attempt to break the silence.

Caleb nodded
before taking a good-sized sip of beer.  Several moments passed before he asked,
"So how was your date?"

Anna nearly choked
on her sip of wine. "My date?"

"Unless you
got all dressed up to go meet a friend.  I just kind of figured …"

"Well, you
figured right – it was a date."  She paused.  "Kind of,
sort of."