T.J. Klune - Bear, Otter, and the Kid 1 - Bear, Otter, and the Kid (8 page)

I
DREAMT
that night. I dreamt a lot. But the one that sticks out the most was where I was following someone I didnt know. I tried to catch up with him but every time I was close enough to grasp a piece of his clothing, he drifted away on an ocean current.

I
WOKE
near dawn. For a moment, I didnt know where I was. I opened my eyes and saw the bottom of a couch. My face was almost resting against it. I felt pressure from my back and remembered where I was. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to will it all away. Then the thing pressing against my back moved slightly, and I knew it was Otter. I heard him snoring softly, his wide back settled against mine. His body was pushing me into the couch where Ty still lay asleep. The dust from space near the floor tickled my nose. I shoved gently away from it, and turned over and huddled up next to Otter. He was warm. He was there. I fell back asleep.

I
WOKE
sometime later to a tapping on my forehead. I scowled, not wanting to open my eyes, the pillow I was lying on feeling too good to want to move. I squinted up, annoyed, and saw the Kid staring down at me from the coach, his eyes dancing.

“Hey, Bear,” he said.
“Hey, yourself,” I groaned, closing my eyes again.
“Why you sleeping on Otter?” he whispered, clearly amused.

I opened my eyes in a hurry. I turned my head slightly to the left and saw that the pillow I was laying on was Otters shoulder. His right arm was under my neck and wrapped around me on the other side, fingers splayed across my chest. One of my legs lay spread over his. He was still asleep.
What the hell?
I thought. I slowly extricated myself from him, never taking my eyes from his face. My heart was beating loudly in my ears, and I felt my skin buzzing.
What the hell?

“Did we have a sleepover?” the Kid asked.

“Uh, yeah,” I said. Otter mumbled something in his sleep and turned over on his side, away from me.
“Im hungry,” Ty said, stretching. “Do you think Anna still has Lucky Charms?”

“I dont know, Kid. Lets go look.” I picked him up from the couch and carried him toward the kitchen.

 

He pulled on my ear. “What?” I asked, suddenly way too awake. “Dont you want to wake up Otter so he can have some Lucky Charms with us?”

“Otters dont eat Lucky Charms.”
He looked at me quizzically. “But Bears do, right?”

“Sure, Kid. Thats all Bears eat,” I said, taking one last look at Otter, splayed out on the floor. I trembled.

I carried Ty into the kitchen and set him down at the table. I walked over to one of the cabinets and pulled down the box of cereal and grabbed a bowl from the dishwasher. I set them in front of him, and he immediately opened the box, pouring the cereal into the bowl. I took the milk from the fridge and set it next to him. As soon as he was old enough to, the Kid never allowed anyone to make his cereal for him. He always wanted to do it himself. I sat in the chair beside him, my mind racing from everything.

“Arent you gonna have some, Bear?” he asked, smacking his lips over the spoon.
I leaned over and ruffled his hair. “I was just going to munch off of yours, if thats okay.”

He looked down at the bowl then back up at me. “Okay,” he said slowly. “But you only get
little
bites. Not big ones.” He held the spoon in one hand and picked up two marshmallows and put them on the spoon. They were the green clovers. He knew those were my favorite. He held the spoon toward my mouth, and I chomped them off, making a noise that made him giggle. “Hey, Bear!” the Kid said.

“Hey, yourself!” I said back.
“Its your birthday!”
“It sure is.”
“I made you something! Well, Anna helped, but I made most of it. Can I

go get it?”
“Sure, Kid. Just make sure you be quiet, okay?”
He nodded and took another bite and then jumped down from his chair,

running out of the room. His socks made little scuffing noises on the tile.

I waited until he was gone then sunk back into my chair. My head was hurting. My neck was sore, apparently after spending the last few hours nuzzled into Otters neck. I groaned out loud, thanking God only Ty had found us like that. What would Creed have thought, seeing me sprawled against his brother? What about Anna? What the fuck was
I
thinking?

Whatever. I was tired and just rolled over onto his arm in my sleep. It’s no big deal. Who cares, anyway? So what if Creed had seen us? What, he would have called us a bunch of fags? It’s not like we were doing anything. Otter’s not like that.
Im
not like that. It was an accident.

Before I could think about it anymore (not that I wanted to), the Kid came running back into the room, holding a big piece of construction paper. He handed it to me then crawled back into his chair and began to eat his cereal again. I looked down at the paper he had given me. It was folded in half and on the outside it said
TO BEAR FROM YOUR BROTHER.
I laughed quietly and opened it. Inside there was a drawing underneath more words that spelled out
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAR
and
I LOVE YOU.
The drawing showed five stick figures standing on what appeared to be the beach. I could tell which one was Ty because he had drawn himself smaller than the others. Anna was drawn having long black hair. There were three others.

“That ones you,” he said, pointing to the one standing next to the version of himself. “And thats Uncle Creed standing by Anna, and thats Otter standing on the other side of you.” He had drawn us all holding hands. I was holding the Kids hand and Otters.
Oh for the love of God, it’s just a picture!

“Thanks, Kid. I think youre going to be a famous artist someday.” “Maybe. Or a detective. I havent decided yet. Can I have some more Lucky Charms?”

“Yeah.” I was still staring down at the picture, realizing that he hadnt drawn Mom into the picture. I put it down on the table. “Ty,” I said, suddenly unsure of what to say next. I was saved when Creed walked into the room, yawning.

“Uncle Creed!” Ty yelped and jumped from the chair. Creed caught him and swung him in circles.
“Hey, Kid! Whats the word?”
“Did you know its Bears birthday?”
He stopped spinning Ty and looked over at me. “Sure did, Kid. Your big bros getting to be an old man now.” I could see the concern in his eyes as he realized that I hadnt said anything to Ty yet.
Ty didnt seem to notice anything was amiss. “Yeah, hes an old Bear now. Well have to put him in a home. Are we going to have cake for Bear today?”
“Cake?” Creed said, setting him back on his chair. “I bet we could swing that. What kind of cake do you think Bear wants?”
Ty made a face and grumbled, “Probably something gross like coconut. I hate coconut.”
“Ill tell you what: if Bear wants coconut cake, Ill make sure we get you a cake of your own.”
Ty looked up at him suspiciously. “But its not my birthday.”
“Thats okay. Hey, Kid. Do you mind if I steal your brother for a minute? I have to talk to him about some grown-up stuff.”
“That sounds boring,” Ty pronounced. “Can I go wake up Otter?”
“Yeah, sure. As a matter of fact, make sure you jump on him and hit his face with the pillow okay? Thats the only way that Otters wake up.”
Ty took another bite, then left the table again. Creed turned to me, eyebrows raised. “I take it you havent said anything yet.”
I shrugged. “He just woke me up a few minutes ago. I havent had time to do much of anything.” I heard a roar from the living room, then Tys high-pitched laughter.
“Do you want us to be here when you do?” Creed asked, putting his hand on my arm.
“I guess. Id think it was better if all of us were here, dont you? That way hell see that he still has us.”
“Okay,” he said, getting up. “Ill go get Anna. Its probably best we do this now.” He started to walk toward Annas room. I looked down at my hands, once again wondering what the hell I was about to do. “Hey, Bear?” I looked up and saw Creed standing near the entryway.

“Happy birthday, dude. Im sorry it has to be like this, but, you know. Happy birthday.” I nodded, and he went to Annas room.

I was only alone for a couple of seconds when I heard Tys laughter pouring down the hallway as Otter entered, carrying the Kid upside down.
“Put me down, Otter!” the Kid shrieked.

“You going to hit me again with a pillow?”
“No!”
“Promise?”
“Yes!”

Otter set him down in his chair. He then came around the table and stood beside me. He put his hand on my shoulder. I let it sit there for a second until I remembered where I had found myself upon waking. I shrugged it off.

“You okay, Bear?” he asked, not moving from my side.

“Im fine,” I said gruffly, trying my best to avoid his eyes. “I wish people would stop asking me that.”
And I wish you would go away
, I finished in my head.

“Bear,” he said warningly.
“Oh, knock it off, Otter. Im not going to do anything stupid.” “I didnt say you were,” he shot back. “God, youre just some kind of

fun in the morning, arent you?” And even though he didnt mean it in
that
way, I still took it as an intimate thing, a secret thing, shared just between us, two false lovers who see each other first thing as the sun rises.
I bet he made me sleep that way. I sure as hell know I didn’t have anything to do with it. I’m not like that, and I thought Otter wasn’t either. I don’t care if he is, but I know who I am. Besides, I don’t need that kind of aggravation right now. But not that it would matter, because I’m not.
I grinned sickly.

“What you guys fighting about?” the Kid asked. Id forgotten he was there. I glanced up at him and saw he had a marshmallow stuck to his cheek. I reached across the table and took it off.

“Were not fighting, Ty,” I said quietly. “Thats just the way grown-ups talk some times.”
He looked back and forth between me and Otter. “Bear, just because youre eighteen now, doesnt mean youre a grown-up,” he said matter-offactly.
“Yes, it does,” I snapped, trying to direct my anger anywhere but at Ty, but not succeeding. He didnt even flinch. Instead he took another bite and glanced casually back at Otter.
“Youre right. Bear isnt much fun in the morning. I think its because you dont make a very good pillow,” the Kid said.
Oh goddammit!
My face burned. I covered it with my hands.
“I think youve got that one right, Kid,” Otter said softly. I knew he was looking at me. “Otters dont make very good pillows.”
I lowered my hands and was about to say something,
anything
, when Anna and Creed walked back in the room. I got up quickly and walked over to Anna, catching her by surprise. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly. I could feel her soft body against mine and was pleased when I started to get turned on a little bit. Pleased, until I saw my gaze trapped on Otters over Annas shoulder, his expression unreadable. He was the first to look away.
Good
, I thought savagely.
Good. Good.
“Um, Bear?” Anna said. “Youre kind of choking me.” I realized I had been squeezing her harder and harder until Otter had finally turned away. I let go of her, and she peered over at me with concerned eyes.
“Im
fine
,” I said before the question came out of her mouth. I knew, even then, that I was going to be getting that a lot.
“Okay,” she said, unconvinced. She gave me one last look before turning to the Kid. “Lucky Charms?” she exclaimed in a cheery voice. “Are you sure you dont want French toast?”
The Kid grinned through a mouthful of congealed sugar. “Can we put peanut butter and syrup on em? Can I help?”
“Peanut butter and syrup I can do, but I think that Bear has something he wants to talk to you about,” she said, picking him up from his chair and wrapping him in the same kind of hug I had been giving her. He complained lightly but hugged her back. She set him back down, and I could see the beginnings of tears in her eyes as she looked back at me. Anger welled in me, black and oily.
Don’t you dare start crying. If you start, Ty will start, and he’s going to anyway, but don’t you start, don’t you dare.
“Bear?” the Kid said. “What do you want to talk to me about? Are we going somewhere for your birthday? Cause I was thinking we could go to the aquarium and see Otter the otter and Todd the seal,” he stated, naming his favorite animals at the tourist trap on the outskirts of Seafare.
I looked at Anna, who was pulling out bread and eggs, but I knew she was listening intently. I was glad to see the tears had dried up somewhat. I looked at Creed, lounging back in his chair, a thoughtful expression on his face. And I looked at Otter,
to
Otter, but his face remained passive, as it had before, betraying nothing. I sighed heavily and sat down opposite Ty.
“Kid,” I started and was alarmed when it came out thick and emotional. My face was suddenly wet, my heart wrung, my throat constricted.
Jesus Christ
, I gasped in my head.
Now don’t
you
start! Where the hell did this come from?
“Bear?” I heard Ty say, suddenly concerned. I heard the scraping of his chair as he pushed it back, and I heard Creed rise as well, but Otter made him sit down again. Ty came running around the table and climbed into my lap. “Whats wrong, Bear? You cant be sad! Its your birthday! We dont have to go to the dumb aquarium. We can do what you want to do.” He was petting my hair.
I shook my head and cleared my throat, trying to rein in this unwelcome display of emotion. When I spoke, my voice sounded raw and flat in my ears. “We can do whatever you want to today. And not just today, either. If you want to do something, you tell me, and somehow well do it. Okay?” I leaned my forehead against his, feeling his hands in my hair, smelling his sweet Lucky Charms breath on my face. “But I have to tell you something now, and I am going to need you to be a big boy for me, okay?” I felt him pull back.
“Is she dead?” he asked, his voice the only thing betraying his age. It was said so quietly, so maturely, that I cursed her under my breath for what he was about to become. I knew what I was about to do to him, and I hated myself for it. “Is she dead?” he asked again, his voice growing insistent.
“No, Ty, shes not. Shes….”
Disappeared? Abandoned us? Run off with Tom? Given up the only flesh and blood she has left in this world? Pick one, Bear, hurry up and pick one! Any will do!
“Shes… gone, Kid. Shes gone.”
“Whered she go?” he asked, his voice as flat as my own now.
“I dont know. She said that she wanted to go away with Tom and get a job somewhere, but I dont know where she went.”
“Shes coming back, right?” he asked. I could feel him start to tremble in my arms. I crushed him tighter into me.
“No, Kid,” I whispered. “I dont think she is. I think shes going to stay away.”
“Why would she leave? Why did she go away?”