T.J. Klune - Bear, Otter, and the Kid 1 - Bear, Otter, and the Kid (16 page)
“Dont ever call me like this again. Whenever we speak from here, its as friends. It cant ever happen again. Okay?”
“Okay,” I sniff into the phone. “I do love you, though.”
“I know you do and Im glad.” And I believe her.
“Anna?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you a question? Not about us?”
“Yes,” she says immediately.
“Did you… why did you call Otter last night?”
She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. “Did he come over?” “Uh-huh.”
“Good. You needed a friend. I knew that he would understand what youre going through. He told me….” And then she stops, as if catching herself.
She curses softly. “He told me about what happened to him in San Diego. I called him, probably sounding hysterical. Once I was able to calm down enough, he told me the story.”
“He did?” I say, trying to keep the surprise out of my voice. And dont I feel a pang of something else? Doesnt it feel strangely like jealousy? But who in Gods name am I jealous of?
tap-tap-tap
at my window. I look up and see Otter staring curiously into the car. I realize that I have been out here for quite a while. Telling Anna to hold on for a minute, I roll down the window.
“Everything cool?” he asks calmly as he leans in. His finger drapes dangerously close to my arm.
“Yeah,” I say quickly. “Just on the phone. Ill be right in.”
He gives me a knowing look and walks back inside.
“Sorry,” I say, putting the phone back on my ear.
“Was that Otter?” she asks, her voice betraying nothing.
I cant lie to her now. “Yes. Hes making the Kid a tofu lasagna, and Ty would murder me if I hadnt brought him.”
“That sounds less than appetizing.”
“Youre telling me. At least you dont have to eat it.” And she laughs and something somewhere rights itself. Maybe not back into the position that it was in before, but close. So very close.
“So, you were saying?” I ask.
“What? Oh, right. Otter. Well, I dont know how much more I should say. If youre going to hear it, it should be from him. And dont try to force it, either, Bear. I know you too well and thats the only reason I say that. And just so you know, I didnt really tell him what the fight was about.”
“I know.”
“After he got done telling me his reasons for coming back, I realized he could understand. More than most people could. And I knew that you needed someone to talk to. But I also know you probably didnt say anything to him. Thats just what you do.”
“I kind of cried and fell asleep,” I admit.
She laughs but then sobers. “Dont keep it inside forever, Bear. Youll end up hating yourself if you do.”
“Thank you,” I say, wishing she was right next to me so she could see just how sincere I am.
“Youre welcome. Tell Ty I love him for me. Im going to let you go now, okay?” I know she means hang up the phone, but there is something more to those last words she speaks, and I can hear her waiting for me to answer. I rack my brain, wondering if there is anything left unsaid, anything that I think she should know. Nothing comes to mind, and it breaks my heart just a little bit more.
“Okay,” I say sadly.
“Good-bye, Bear.”
“Bye, Anna.”
Then shes gone too.
into the house feeling heavy. Dont get me wrong; I know Ive done nothing but bring this on myself. Normally Im not one to wallow in selfpity, but its something I havent been able to do for the last three years. It feels alien, foreign. Dark thoughts pitter-patter around my head, and I do little to push them away. Maybe Im supposed to be like this. Maybe its what I deserve.
Ty is sitting on the counter while Otter is telling him a story. The Kid doesnt see me enter, but Otter does, and he glances at me quickly and winks. I smile vaguely and wait for him to finish.
“And so then,” Otter says, “that guy just came down and stands next to me in line at the bank. Now remember, I hadnt been in California long at that point and didnt know how people acted there. So, being the nice guy that I am, I say hi. But remember, I think he cant hear me because he had headphones on and was rocking out to whatever he was listening to, right?”
“So the lines not moving, but I can feel the guy bopping his head behind me because he keeps getting closer and closer until hes bumping into me. I try to ignore him, but he starts bumping into me harder and harder. So finally, I turn around to glare at him, and he stops rocking out and glares at me right back! And you know what I saw?”
“The headphones he was wearing,” Otter says, pausing dramatically, “werent attached to
anything.
No iPod, no Walkman, no nothing. He was just wearing the headphones! He notices me noticing this, and I try to keep a straight face, but he leans over to me and do you know what he said?”
Ty has his hands to his mouth, and I can hear him whisper, “Whatd he say, Otter?”
Otters face suddenly morphs. He sticks his bottom jaw out and arches both eyebrows together and puffs out his cheeks. The change is startling, and I almost burst out laughing, ruining the story. Otters voice drops, and it comes out deep and gravely: “„I dont need no fancy music box, boy. I gots all the music I needs in my head. Thats where I got alllll the hits.” I cant keep it in anymore: my laughter brays out of me and echoes across the kitchen. Ty jerks and cranes his head and sees its me and rolls his eyes and turns his attention back to Otter. This cuts off my laughter immediately, as Ive just been rebuked again by the Kid.
“People are weird in California, Otter,” he says seriously. “Im glad you came back before you got weird too.”
Otter nods his head solemnly. “Im glad too. Crazy Otters would never know how to make a vegetarian lasagna.” He ruffles the Kids hair, and Ty turns around to look at me.
“Otter said you were talking on the phone and thats why you took forever.” Otter shrugs apologetically behind the Kids back. Ty stares at me quizzically. “Who were you talking to, Bear?”
I move toward the Kid and hoist myself up onto the countertop where hes sitting. I put one arm around his shoulders and bring him into me, kissing the top of his head. “I was talking to Anna,” I say quietly.
He nods and looks at Otter. “Anna and Bear broke up again,” he says sadly. “It wasnt like the other times, though. I think it was for real this time.”
Otter stands in front of the Kid and bends over, putting his hands on his knees. “No, I dont think it was like the other times, either. But you know what Anna told me?” Ty looks up at him. “She told me that she loves you, and she isnt going to go anywhere. Isnt that right, Papa Bear?”
I glance at him gratefully before turning back to the Kid. “Thats right, Kid. Just because she and I arent dating anymore doesnt mean you wont see her again. She told me last night that shes going to make sure she sees you as much as she can.”
“Im not just sad about that,” the Kid says.
“Well, what else are you sad about?” Otter asks.
The Kid thinks for a moment, then says, “Im sad for Bear. I dont want him to be alone forever.” Once again, for what seems like the billionth time in the last few days, hot tears sting my eyes. Otter comes to my rescue.
“I guess,” the Kid tells Otter. “But what happens when you go away again, Otter? Creeds going back to school, and youll go back to California, and Anna… Anna will just be gone. Papa Bear will just have me, and I dont know if I could do it on my own.”
I dont respond, but this time on purpose. Yes, Im choked up once again like a little fucking girl. I cant honestly believe a person has as much liquid in their body as has forced its way out of me over the last two days. But the real reason I dont say anything is because I, like the Kid, am waiting to hear what Otter is going to say. However selfish that is, I need to hear what hes going to say.
Otter stands up straight, and I can feel him looking down at the two of us huddled in front of him, two lost children. I brace myself for whatever answer hes going to give, hoping hell at least lie for Tys sake (and maybe for my own). He should never have this burden, but Im tired of carrying it on my own.
“Ty,” Otter says finally, “Im not going to go anywhere for a very long time. And if I do, well, then, maybe… maybe you and Bear can go with me.”
Ty launches himself off the counter, and Otter catches him deftly and pulls him up into his arms. I can see Ty whisper something in his ear, and Otters eyes go wide, and he glances down at me and then focuses back on the Kid. Ty punctuates his whispers with a poke in Otters chest and Otter nods. The Kid sits back in his arms and says, “You promise to do what I say? You have to promise.”
Ty stares at him until he is sure Otter is telling the truth, then wiggles out of his arms. “Bear, can I go watch Anderson Cooper now?” he says, pulling on my leg.
“Sure, Kid,” I tell him, my voice coming out perfectly natural. Coming out as if wed all just been talking about the weather. Ty runs out of the living room, yelling at us to tell him when the foods ready. Otter looks at me thoughtfully and goes to the fridge and pulls out a couple of beers, handing one to me. I crack it open and drain half of it in one swig. It burns down my throat and settles warmly into my stomach.
Otter looks like hes about to say something, but thinks better of it and starts pulling out the ingredients to make Tys dinner. I watch him as he works for a few minutes, the silence noticeable but not uncomfortable. The sound of the TV enters into the kitchen, so I know that anything I say now will go unheard by the Kid in the living room. I jump down off the counter and play with the top of the beer bottle.
He wants us to go with him?
I think.
And do what? Goddammit, Otter, I told you to take things slow, for fuck’s sake! That’s not even going to be possible. How the hell could you even think of saying that without even mentioning it to me first! Not that you should have said anything at
all
….
“Bear, youre thinking too much again,” Otter says, reading through a recipe in the open book in front of him. “I can feel it from here.” This startles me from my thoughts, and I open my mouth and start sputtering nonsense, and he looks at me and shakes his head, asking for me to get the noodles out of the pantry. I do, still bubbling nonsensicals that are supposed to be forming coherent denials, but I think all Im doing is making a lot of noise with my mouth. I hand him the noodles, and the box is shaking, and he wraps his hand around it and my hand. “Bear, stop it.”
I do.
He takes some more stuff from the fridge and starts setting it on the counter. I finish my liquid courage and grab another one over his shoulder. I know I shouldnt be drinking, but I dont give a shit.
He tosses me a rag, and I mop it up.
“Shes okay, I guess,” I mumble.
“Thats good. She sounded better when I got done talking to her last
I nod. “She said you helped her a lot. She said you….” I hesitate but decide to go for broke. “She said you told her about why you came back here.”
He stiffens only for a second, but I still catch it. “Did she say anything about it to you?”
“No,” I say truthfully. “She said when youre ready, youll tell me.”
“Shes a good kid,” he says. “Im sorry you guys had a fight.”
I snort. “Oh come on, Otter. You dont need to coddle me like that. It wasnt just a fight, and you know it. We broke up; its done. And this time its for good.”
He laughs quietly. “Youre right, I should know better than that. I just… I dont know. I hope you guys are going to be okay.”
“Maybe,” I say. “Honestly? I think that shes better off now, anyways. She deserves a lot more than I could ever give her. I wasnt exactly the greatest boyfriend in the world.”
He winces. “I wish you wouldnt do that.”
“Do what?” I ask, taking another sip of beer.
“Be so self-deprecating. Thats a habit youve gotten into that needs to be broken right now.”
“Yes, sir,” I scoff at him.
He turns and crosses his arms across his chest and looks at me sternly. “I mean it, Bear. There are enough people out there that will be more than willing to knock you down. Theres no reason for you to do it to yourself.”
I wave my hands in surrender. “You win. Im sorry. From now on, Ill be so high on myself youll regret ever saying anything.” I jump up onto a chair and beat my chest proudly. “I am fucking
awesome
,” I say in my deepest voice possible. “I am the epitome of hard-fucking-core.”
Otter rolls his eyes at me and waves his hand over the food. “You done yet? I was thinking you could help me make this seeing as Ive never made anything vegetarian in my life.”
I jump down from the chair and push him out of the way and look down to read the recipe. I am acutely aware that he is watching me now, and I wonder what hes thinking about. I wonder what makes him want us to come with him. I blush as I realize how stupid I sound.
Otter comes to stand next to me and leans over the recipe book. “So, Ty came in screaming loudly that we were having a sleepover.”
I blush harder. “Uh… yeah. He kind of insisted on it.” I start to babble: “I should have asked. I mean, its your house, right? You probably have plans and dont need us hanging out over here all the time. Maybe we should just do this some other time. Ill go get Ty, and we can go—”
“Bear, shut up,” he says, cutting me off before I can become even more retarded. “You know that youre more than welcome to stay here. I like having… people over. This house is too big to have just one person in it.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Besides,” he says wickedly, “I told Ty this morning that you guys were going to stay here. Weve kind of already planned this.”
I try to kick him in the shins, but hes too quick for me and dances away, laughing, always laughing.
to my surprise, the lasagna turned out pretty good. Ty relished watching every bite I took. I made him scowl at me when I told him I had put a small piece of meat in it, and he refused to eat anymore until Otter had convinced him that I was a “liar and a fat mouth.” This sent Ty off into gales of laughter, and he fell off his chair, and that got me laughing, and Otter grumbled, saying how he could never have a nice dinner anymore. Ty and I both stuck our tongues out at him, and then he threw a piece of French bread at me, and it bounced off my head and knocked over my beer. Ty tried to keep it in but was lost again to his amusement, and I took my turn and glared at Otter, but he just shrugged innocently and said it served me right for lying to a nine-year-old. I couldnt think of anything witty to say back, so I sat there, mouth gaping like a goldfish.