Throw Away Teen (7 page)

I pulled out the toy—a nightlight.

I glanced quickly at Ted. Did he know I was afraid of the dark? No, there was no way. I hadn’t told Carol and it wasn’t something they would have written down in my case file. If it wasn’t on one of a million forms, then it didn’t exist. After thirteen years of being bounced around from house to house, I knew how the system worked.
It’s probably just a coincidence
, I told myself and peeled the top off my sweet and sour sauce.

Normally, I’d have scarfed down the food super quick so nobody stole it, but Liz and Ted had their own and didn’t even try to nab one of my fries. I relaxed against the door and enjoyed my nuggets, double-dipping them and taking my time. I found a container of tartar in the bottom of the bag for my fries. Ted had even remembered that I didn’t like ketchup.

After we ate, I slipped the toy in my pocket and passed the paper sack to Ted. Then I got out to throw away our trash. It made sense since I was closest to a door. When I got back in and shut the door, I noticed Liz eyeing me. “What?”

“You don’t have to keep that nightlight,” Liz said. “Ted’s only teasing you.”

I gave her a solid once-over. Ted kept right on working one of the puzzles on the ‘Happy Meal’ bag. Did she really believe that? “Whatever. Ted bought it for me so I’m keeping it.”

“She could have her own collection,” Ted said, writing another answer. “A kid can never have enough toys. We’ll see what the new prize is next time we come.”

I tried to smile, but it still felt fake. I knew there wouldn’t be a
next time
. “Cool. Then Liz can get her own toy.”

They both laughed and Liz looked at me carefully before she glanced at her watch. “We better head home. There’s still lots to do.”

When we arrived at the house, I jumped in to help unload the truck. It was only fair since Ted bought me lunch. Besides, they were old people. I was stronger than they were. Once we got inside, I let Guard out of the downstairs bathroom and took him outside.

Liz wanted to start work on what she referred to as my studio right away, so we left Ted downstairs yelling back at the TV reporter giving an update on the war in Afghanistan. It surprised me, since I hadn’t heard him holler at anything before, but I didn’t feel scared like I usually did when I heard someone yelling. I just felt sorry for him. It wasn’t like his shouting would bring Jessie home any sooner, or even keep her alive.

A part of me envied her, not only for having a family waiting anxiously for her return, but for her bravery. She couldn’t be in the Army or go to war without it. And I admired anyone with guts, especially girls.

After gathering our supplies and lugging them upstairs, we got to work. I had to admit I didn’t mind cleaning. Maybe, it was because the studio was for me. Since the windows opened into the room I was able to wash both sides of them while Liz mopped the floor with some kind of special soap made for wood.

“What kind of pictures do you paint, B.J.? I don’t know too much about art myself and I have the darnedest time figuring out what some paintings are even of. Like that Picasso guy or Kandinsky. Will I be able to recognize the objects in yours?”

I couldn’t help laughing. “Some are kind of traditional.”

“Good.” Liz walked around Samson to put the mop and bucket out in the hall. “Did you learn about art in school? If you want, we can sign you up for lessons through the Academy.”

“Lessons cost money. I’ll just have to learn on my own. It’s worked so far.” Foster kids don’t get extras. Since my last birthday was at the center, I’d actually had a cake and ice-cream for the first time in years. Irene gave me a pair of silver earrings. I knew she had swiped them from the mall, but hey, at least it was a present. I got a C.D. from Gabe. Country music, but the singer looked really hot—he was major cute.

Last Christmas was one of the first where I actually got gifts, but I wasn’t telling Liz any of those things. We were supposed to be grateful for the scraps we got. Only I wasn’t grateful for having to suck on a bar of soap, having to spend the night on a cold basement floor, or having to hide food in my back-pack so I wouldn’t go hungry. That was why I got in trouble and ended up in new homes or in juvie every time. Because I was
ungrateful
.

Liz didn’t push the issue, but slipped out of the room only to return a moment later, feather duster in hand. She attacked every nook and cranny happily obliterating any cobweb in her path.

“B.J., I want this to work out for all of us. Ted and I tried to help Jocelyn and Jessie fulfill their dreams. We plan to do the same for you.”

Maybe I should’ve believed her, but I couldn’t make myself. I’d been through too much, seen too much. The government paid people to take in kids. None of us were wanted, not really. Still, the families always tried to fool us at first. I hadn’t thought Liz was one of those kind of adults, but I’d been wrong before. “Sure, Liz. Whatever.”

“You don’t believe a thing I say, do you?” Liz shook her head. “I guess Ted and I will just have to show you that we can be trusted.”

I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I kept my mouth shut. Guard trotted over and nudged me with his nose, giving a short, sharp yip. “I’d better take him outside,” I said. “Do you want me to bring back anything for you?”

“A bottle of water,” Liz said. She gave me a big smile like I’d just offered her the winning lotto ticket. “Thanks, honey.”

“Sure.” I called Guard and headed for the stairs. He followed me and so did Fifi. The others stayed with Liz. When I reached the kitchen, Ringo was there. Today, he wore blue jeans and a black T-shirt that clung to each rippling muscle. God, he was such a hunk and I wasn’t the only one who seemed to think so.

Dallas leaned against the counter talking to Ted, but her blue eyes glanced over at Ringo repeatedly. I’d been hoping to at least have height as an advantage over her, but now that I could see the rest of her, she was definitely taller. Who wasn’t? She looked like a freakin’ teen model, even in her McDonald’s uniform.

I walked around the three of them to take Guard and Fifi outside. When I returned five minutes later, they were still in the kitchen. With no way to get out of it, I said, “Hi.”

Ringo grinned at me. “I’m glad you’re done cleaning. Now, you can help with the carpet. We’ve been waiting for you and Liz.”

“Yeah, right.” I eyed him. Was he serious? “I thought you two macho, chauvinistic males were going to show me how it should be done.”

Ted hid a grin while Dallas’ mouth fell open as if I’d insulted a celebrity.

“We’d do it,” Ringo informed me, “but I just painted my nails so I can’t move the furniture. So I guess you and Dally will have to do it.”

“Dream on, cowboy.” I opened the fridge and pulled out two bottles of water. “Liz and I are almost finished cleaning, then we’re going to check out the attic.” I took a deep breath. “Want to come, Dallas?” I didn’t really want a Barbie doll tagging along, but I felt inviting her would make Ted and Liz happy. And hadn’t they done tons for me already? “Otherwise, you’ll get stuck doing your boyfriend’s job. You know how guys are.”

“Ew, gross.” Dallas mimed vomiting as she reached in the fridge and grabbed a
Coke.
“He’s not my boyfriend. He’s my big brother.”

I studied the two of them. I could see a faint resemblance in the bone structure of their faces. They shared the same high cheekbones, but her chin was softly rounded where his was firm. They both had blonde hair but while hers was pure gold, his had streaks of sunshine yellow. Both of them were taller than me, but then pretty much everyone was, and Ringo was even bigger than Ted. Their eyes weren’t the same shade of blue either. Hers were more purple, but that could be enhanced by her make-up.

I shrugged. “Whatever. Did you want to come with me and Liz, Dallas?”

“Well, if she doesn’t, I do,” Ringo said.

“I don’t recall inviting you, cowboy.”

“Whoa, son.” Ted interrupted. “You’re helping me lay a carpet, not chasing girls around the attic.”

“But it’d be more fun to play Hide and Seek up there, Ted. Liz is always going on about equal rights, so we should let them do the carpet.”

Dallas and I sneaked out while the two of them squabbled. As Guard and Fifi followed us, Dallas stroked Fifi and for once the German Shepherd didn’t cower or whimper. When I stopped and scooped up Guard so I could carry him up the stairs, Dallas took the water bottles. So, maybe there was more to her than bimbo good looks.

We explored the attic for ages and found the easel which I carted down to my studio. We also discovered boxes of old books and stacks of musty magazines. Some were so old they had articles about the Vietnam War.

As we dug deeper into the boxes, Liz told us about Vietnam and it made me shiver. She knew lots of interesting facts; stuff history books and teachers conveniently left out. She’d been an Army nurse during the war. It was where she met Ted. She even showed us her old uniform along with boxes full of other vintage clothing. “You girls are welcome to try stuff on or make costumes out of this stuff, but please don’t touch my uniform.” She gazed at it almost wistfully before tucking it away again.

While Liz was poking through some more boxes, Dallas whispered, “Ted told me once that a hippie spit on Liz when she was wearing her uniform, and she totally knocked him on his butt. Go, Liz!” We both giggled.

It was hard for me to imagine Liz getting annoyed or angry about anything. When Guard knocked over a little antique table, Liz checked him for injuries first. When she decided he was okay, she righted the three-legged table again and then continued digging through a box.

It was already four in the afternoon when Ringo and Ted joined us. Ringo said he had chores to do at home, so we cut our treasure hunt short.

“Thanks for inviting me,” Dallas said. “I had a great time.”

I nodded and the three of us waved from the front porch as they drove away. Liz and Ted decided to take a break and sat at the kitchen table drinking coffee. I moped around the house for a while, but all the quiet rapidly got to me. I didn’t feel like watching TV, and Guard was asleep, so I paced.

Finally, Liz asked. “What’s the matter, B.J.?”

“There’s nothing to do.”

“Come on.” Liz laughed and got to her feet. “Let’s find you something to read.”

“Read? You’ve got to be joking. I don’t read unless I’m stuck in Juvie.” But I followed her back to the living-room anyway.

Liz went through a bookcase and pulled out an old book. “This was one of my favorite novels when I was your age.”

I seriously doubted Liz and I had the same taste in fiction, but it seemed cruel to say anything. The Driscolls might not know anything about teenagers, but they tried real hard to be nice to me. The least I could do was pretend to read Liz’s dumb book.

When I read the back cover of
Anne of Green Gables
, I discovered it was about a girl, an orphan nobody wanted. Well, I could relate to that. I grabbed a
Coke
from the fridge and a handful of cookies and headed for the grassy back yard. Guard and the rest of the dogs decided to join me.

It might be an old book, but the writer had an excellent view of reality. I was totally caught up in Anne’s adventures. She was smart and tough, especially when she busted a guy over the head with her slate. I barely heard Liz call me in for supper.

But when the dogs went bounding toward the door, Guard and I followed. She’d made what she called a Shepherd’s Pie—cooked veggies and leftover pot roast in thick gravy with a mashed potato topping. I had two helpings before I realized it but she didn’t say a word. And there was more chocolate cake for dessert. If I stayed here, I’d have to sign up for
Weight Watchers
.

That night after dinner, I went up to my room to get my paper and paints. The new carpet looked as great as I thought it would in the bedroom. The blue rug matched the blue flowers in the wallpaper perfectly. Surprisingly, Ted and Ringo hadn’t just covered the entire bedroom floor. The carpet stretched into the closet as well. When I asked why he didn’t get the guys at the store to come do it, Ted told me that he’d learned to install carpet years ago when he got out of the Marines. And he still had all the tools out in his shed.

And Liz went off on this big lecture about people being able to do anything and everything they wanted from planning an invasion to delivering a baby to programming a computer and on and on. When she finished, she told me it was a quote by Robert Heinlein and that “specialization was for insects.” Oh, and she hadn’t married a bug.

She was straight up. I told myself again that I liked Liz. And Ted, too. They were all right. They’d taken the door off the closet and hadn’t put it back on again. And I couldn’t help thinking that if I ever got locked in the closet, my body wouldn’t ache from sleeping on the hard floor. Not like last time.

I shook my head. I didn’t want to think about the way people really treated foster kids. I wanted to pretend this was going to be my home and Liz and Ted would go on being nice to me forever.

What a crock
, I thought. “Are you getting stupid, B.J.?” I muttered.

I took the paper and paints up to the studio, Guard trotting behind me. I set up the paper on the easel and sat down to consider what I’d paint first. Guard turned around three times then curled up on the floor. I watched the sleeping puppy for several minutes.

I found a pencil and began to sketch Guard. I’d always thought dogs didn’t move when they slept, but my puppy did. He twitched, he growled, he rolled over and paddled with white spotted paws. Finally, he lay still, a little furry heap with his head stretched across one front leg.

I drew quickly. I’d almost captured the way his black body curled like a C when I heard something. But Guard’s hearing was better than mine. He was already jumping up, racing toward the door as he yipped.

After a couple knocks, the door eased open and Ted stepped into the room. “Maybe, you’re not a ‘watch ’em load up’ dog.” He leaned over to pet the puppy as Guard tried to gnaw on him. “You might even use these teeth on burglars.”