Throb (32 page)

Dickhead takes a deep breath. “I fell in love with her.”

“That’s what you came here for? You wasted your time, don’t waste any more of mine. I really don’t care to hear about your love life. I think you got the wrong brother.” I pick up a stack of documents for my next meeting. But the moron doesn’t take the hint. Instead, he sits.

“She doesn’t love me.”

I glare at him and say nothing.

“She loves you.”

“Didn’t look like it when she was leading you into that honeymoon suite.” The words taste as bitter as they’re spoken.

“It was an act.” Dickhead rubs the back of his neck. “We cheated. She told me about her family and why she really did the show. We pretended to be together because that’s what Miles wanted. I chose her so she could win the money.”

“So you didn’t spend the night together?” I have no idea why I ask, because anything but an unequivocal no is going to kill me.

“Dude, she made me sleep on the floor. Wouldn’t even share the big bed with me.”

“So the whole tension between you and Jessica and Kate was an act?”

“Well, not all of it.”

I glare at him.

“Turns out Jessica was on your brother’s payroll the whole time. He was paying her to stir the pot.” He shrugs. “Plus, I ended up sleeping with Jessica after I figured out I had no chance with Kate. Probably wasn’t the smartest move. I was wishing it was Kate the whole time.”

“Quit while you’re ahead,” I warn.

Dickhead chuckles. “Anyway. She’s a great girl. But I never had a shot. She’s in love with you.”

“A lot’s changed.”

“That hasn’t.”

Dickhead stands and extends his hand. This time I take it. He gets to the doorway before I call after him. “Hey.”

He turns.

“Thanks.”

He nods with a defeated smile.

“Maybe you’re not such a dickhead after all.”

Today I’m reminded why I did the right thing. The smile on Kyle’s face when he returned home from spinal cord stimulation therapy is contagious. He’s regained a small amount of voluntary control of his muscles, enough so that he could “flex” for me as I helped him back into bed. His hope shined so bright, a little even warmed me today.

Ever since Flynn came by to tell me about his conversation with Miles, I’ve regressed back to the depressing state I was in right after Cooper and I broke up. I feel like I’m missing a few pieces of the puzzle still. Even if it’s true that Miles blackmailed Cooper into breaking things off, and he did it to save me from myself, how could he have turned to Tatiana so soon? Why wouldn’t he have come to me? I spend hours trying to figure out why I feel like something’s missing, but in the end the only thing I’m clear about is that I’ve lost a piece of my heart.

My phone buzzes and I smile seeing his name on the caller ID.

“What, you don’t call, you don’t write?” Frank’s jovial voice booms loudly through the car speaker.

“You miss me, don’t you?” I say.

“I do, kid. I do. Are you too big and famous to play cards with us anymore?”

“Is that an invitation or just a general question?”

“Can you come tonight? Eight o’clock.” There’s a smile in his voice. “Grip and Ben took all my money last time. I need you to teach the bums a lesson.”

I laugh. “I’d love to come.”

“All right, kid. I’ll see you later.”

I park and sit in the car for a few minutes outside the studio. The memory of the first night I played cards here months ago still affects me, even through my sadness. I had no idea who Cooper was, but the flex of his forearm almost had me losing hands a few times—my focus so thrown by the effect the man had on me from the moment I laid eyes on him.

Taking a deep cleansing breath, I push the memory to the back of my mind and lift the case of Stella out of the back of my Jeep and head into the studio.

“Frank?” My voice echoes in the cavernous empty hangar. The usual card table isn’t set up yet. The large room is perfectly still, an invitation to my mind to run off and daydream.

The heavy steel door clanks open loudly, then slams shut.

“I was beginning to wonder if I had the wrong night.” I turn, expecting to find Frank, and freeze—my gaze locking on brilliant green eyes. I ached to see him, dreamed of running to him, yet a tangled mesh of feelings stir inside me that keeps me rooted in place.

As he moves across the room with his usual confidence and grace, every emotion I forced down over the last month comes flooding to the surface all at once.

I missed him every second of every day, but seeing him before me makes me remember all the reasons why. The way he looks at me like he wants to devour me, his cocky confidence that borders on arrogance, his irresistible charm, the way he commands a room without having to say or do a thing.

My heart pounds in my chest.

My mind finally stops whirling with questions and goes blank.

Cooper stops as he reaches where I’m standing. I don’t move an inch, my feet securely cemented to the earth.

I look at him. He stares at me.

His face is a mask. I can’t tell if he’s happy to see me or angry I’m here. While what’s going on inside of him may be completely unreadable, there’s a rash of emotions churning inside my own stomach that are impossible to ignore.

He folds his arms over his chest in a closed-off stance.

I don’t know what to say or do. Maybe he’s just as surprised to see me as I am to see him. His beautiful face is somber, and his green eyes are distant. It’s physically painful to be this close, yet feel so far away.

The seconds tick by. I’m certain he must be able to hear the pounding of my heartbeat, it’s so loud. Yet we just stare—neither of us saying a word. I long for him to open his folded arms and invite me in, but he doesn’t.

Mimicking his stance, I wrap my shaky arms around my waist to occupy them. So badly they want to reach out and touch him—I’m afraid they might. My body has a mind of its own when it comes to this man.

“How are you?” Unable to take the deafening silence any longer, I finally speak. His green eyes darken with emotion. He’s angry with me.

“How do you think I am?” The pain in his voice slices through me.

I close my eyes. Blinking back tears when I reopen them. “Do you want me to leave?” I ask softly.

“I wouldn’t have arranged for you to be here if I wanted you to leave.”

A spark of hope ignites in the darkness I’ve been shrouded in.

“I don’t understand?”

Cooper blows out a rush of air. “Neither do I, Kate.” He rakes his fingers through his hair, then regains his intimidating composure.

Our eyes lock in a challenging stare off, until I finally break. All the sadness I’ve been carrying, all the hurt and anger, bubbles to the top. My need to know the truth is greater than any silly race to win our stalemate. “Did Miles threaten you with things that could hurt me to make you break things off?”

He swallows. “Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? We could have figured out a way.”

“You said it yourself best. You couldn’t give winning your all while we were together. If it were just me he’d ruin, I’d never have walked away. I’d have let him take everything I own to keep you.” He pauses and his voice drops lower. “I know how much you love your brother. It was too much to risk.”

He’s right—I’d never have been able to connect with Flynn like I did if he didn’t free me. Since Flynn came to see me, all I could focus on was how Cooper could tear us apart. I was upset he didn’t trust me enough to figure it out together. But in this moment, I finally understand. My eyes well with tears. I’ve been so busy being mad at him for making the decision
without
me, I couldn’t see what he really did. He made the decision
for
me.

“Tatiana,” I whisper. “How could you have so soon?”

“I used Tatiana to chase you away. To set you free to do what you needed to do.”

“So you slept with her for me?” There’s a bitter edge to my voice.

“I didn’t sleep with her.” His jaw flexes and it looks like he’s contemplating adding more.

“Truth,” I remind him.

“I didn’t lay a finger on her the night you came over and found her there. I went out with her once before we met. That’s it.” His eyes close and then come back to find mine. “I settled for less before you walked into my life.”

“Then why didn’t you come to me after the show was over?”

“I thought you were with him. You looked … happy.”

The pain in his eyes when he utters his truth wraps around my heart and squeezes so tightly my hand reaches up to rub my chest. He acted so selflessly, without regard to his own happiness. It must have killed him to watch the show. The editors pieced together my small moments of joy to make them appear like I was blissfully in love.

Head bowed, he looks up through tortured eyes and asks, “Do you love him?”

“No.”

He steps closer to me and I think I stop breathing for a second. “Remember when I asked you if you believed in loving something and setting it free to find out if it’s meant to be?”

“You told me you were more of the school of if you want something you should pursue it aggressively.”

“I finally understand the difference. If you
want
something, you pursue it aggressively and nothing gets in your way. If you
love
something, sometimes you have no choice but to set it free so it can find its way back to you forever. It killed me to let go, but I’d do it again if it meant your happiness in the end. That’s how I know.”

“Know what?” I whisper with apprehension, although my heart opens wide with hope.

One hand grasps my waist and his other rises to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “Know that I love you. In a way that is irrational and incomprehensible, but is the only thing that has ever made sense to me.”

My eyes close, trying to quell the deluge of tears I’m no longer able to keep at bay. It doesn’t work, the downpour comes. “I thought I’d lost you.”

Cooper cups my cheeks, his thumbs catching the salty stream as he moves in closer. “Shhh … I know,” he says. “I know. I’m sorry. But I knew you’d have given up anything for a chance for Kyle and I had to do it.”

“I missed you every day.” My soft cry intensifies. Weeks of pent-up emotions all break free at once. “When we went back to Barbados, I saw you everywhere I looked. Losing you felt like I lost a piece of myself.” Crying turns to an ugly sob.

He lets me weep it all out, holding me tightly while it all washes away. Sadness, anger, regret, doubt, hurt. When I finally calm, he brings his hand to my face and wipes away every last tear. Silence falls between us as our eyes meet and I confess what I’ve known for months but never admitted out loud.

“I love you. So much.”

His eyes close, relief softens his face as he draws me near. He kisses my forehead, then presses his to mine. We communicate with only our eyes for a long moment. I watch in utter amazement, completely captivated as a transformation in his gaze takes form. The golden sunflowers in the middle of his beautiful green sea blossom, coming alive again.

The allure of our attraction can’t be denied and neither can the love. He cups the back of my neck with one hand, and the other strokes my cheek. Slowly, his mouth grazes over mine. It’s a whisper-soft touch, but it’s enough to awaken every nerve in my body. Lord, I want this man. Love this man with all of my heart.

“Remember the first night we met in this room? I had the little chip I always carry with me out for luck?” I push my lips against his again.

“Every time you swiped your little finger over it, you won.”

I smile. “Winning wasn’t luck. That was talent. I wished for you.”

“You didn’t have to wish,” he breathes. “You had me from the moment my eyes landed on you.”

“I’m calling last hand. I have an early meeting in the morning,” Cooper says, leaning back in his chair with an easy smile. His stack of chips is nearly depleted—it usually is, but these nights once a month are some of the happiest and carefree times.

Last month, I decided to get a little daring with my bets. I’d come straight from school and didn’t have anything of value to enter for the last hand. So, not unlike the first day I met Cooper, I tore a piece of paper from my purse, scribbled something and tossed the folded up paper into the pot.

I threw three kings face down to lose to Cooper’s pair of fives. He mumbled something about what would have happened if Ben or Frank had won, as he guided my head down into his lap to collect his prize on the drive home.

But tonight I’ve come prepared. We’d spent the last two days arguing over the car he bought me. My Jeep broke down for the third time in as many weeks and he hates that I don’t have what he calls reliable transportation. It’s bad enough he won’t let me pitch in toward any of the household expenses since I moved in a month ago. I certainly don’t need him buying me a new car.

With a daring smile, I dangle the keys in the air for a second before dropping them into the center of the pile. Frank whistles, catching a glimpse of the Range Rover key fob, and tosses in a watch. Ben opens a bag on the floor and parks a tall awards statue in the middle of the table. Heads turn to see what Cooper will be anteing tonight.