Thrive (21 page)

{ 33 }

0 years : 09 months

May

LILY CALLOWAY

I rest my back against a shelf with an array of
pill bottles for sale, trying not to engrain this mental image in my brain. Lo
and Ryke, side-by-side, staring at a huge wall of condoms. Scott apologized
after Ryke physically pushed him in our room. His “I’m sorry” wasn’t very
sincere, but we both were ready to move on. I just never thought that I’d be
here.
On our way home from lunch, the
three of us made a pit stop at a local drug store to pick up the love gloves.

It’s funny—before Lo, condoms were my staple. Now I hate
them.

How things change.

“Why do you have to wear condoms?” I ask Lo for the third
time.

He hasn’t answered me yet. They’ve been making fun of the
Magnum XL glow-in-the-dark condoms for the past minute, not because of the size
though. I would partake in the jokes if I wasn’t so confused.

“I understand why Ryke has to wear them,” I continue like
they’re listening. “What if one of his conquests claims to have a Ryke baby?
That’s a scary thought, right?”

Ryke spins around to face me. Finally! “Can you not call the
girls I sleep with
conquests
? You
make it seem like my goal in life is to fuck women, and they’re not trophies to
me.”

“Sure, can you ask Lo why he has to wear condoms?” I reply.

Ryke gives me a look like
are you really fucking serious?
“It’s called protection from an
unplanned pregnancy.”

“I’m on birth control,” I whisper-hiss, lowering my voice as
people pass our aisle. They don’t notice who we are though, or if they do, they
don’t care. Ryke and Lo chose an out-of-the-way drug store instead of one in
town. To accommodate me and my paranoia. It was nice of them.

“Lil, it’s just for a little while,” Lo says, grabbing a box
off the rack. He’s been getting badgered by my sister and his brother about
being more careful. They’re worried that with the reality show stress and
hamming it up for the cameras (aka excessive teasing), we’re going to have a
mistake.

“Wearing them doesn’t feel as good.” I pause. “For either
party involved.” And then I point my finger at Ryke. “Don’t deny it.”

He raises his hands. “I wasn’t going to, but some things are
worth sacrificing, Calloway.”

Fine. “So how many boxes are you going to buy? Three? Five?”
He needs like eleven. His one-night stands can almost compete with past-me.

“One,” he replies. “And don’t you have to buy tampons?”

It would have been a rude comment if he wasn’t completely
serious. “I don’t need them. I delay my period on birth control,” I say it all
without blushing. Internally, I am patting myself on the back.

“Let me guess,” he says, his eyes darkening. “So you can
have more sex.” My cheeks redden.
Damn.
But
I have to give myself credit; I’ve been able to last this long talking about
condoms and sex without my body revolting against me. When Ryke looks away, I
give myself a literal quick tap on the shoulder. Go me.

“Hey,” Lo cuts in and puts his hand on Ryke’s shoulder.
“Stop giving her a hard time.”

I’m used to it, and I’m sure I irritate Ryke just as
equally. He barely glances at the rack before he tugs a pack of condoms off,
which basically means he has a particular brand and size that he always wears.
I focus on the check-out, avoiding eye-contact with the condoms—because knowing
the size will weird me out.

My brain does a tailspin the minute I notice the line of
magazines and tabloids stacked beside the counter. The headline stops my heart:
Lily Calloway, Nymphomaniac and
Reportedly Sleeping with Brothers.
I’ve seen this many times before. But
that’s the problem.

I thought that after the
Celebrity
Crush
re-poll and positive effect of the reality show, these rumors would
be put to rest. Not only that—but I would’ve
never
taken a quick condom pit stop for both Lo and Ryke if I knew
the media was still buying into the rumors.

“Is this for you?” the attendant asks, eyeing the condoms
and then the two guys. And me. Holy shit. Out of all bad ideas, this is a
horrible
one.

“No,” I cut in, wedging myself beside Lo. “We don’t want those
anymore. And we’d like to buy all of these.” I start piling all the tabloids up
on the counter.

“Not this again,” Ryke groans.

“Lily—” Lo starts.

“You don’t understand,” I snap. “You were eighty-eight
percent, Lo. This shouldn’t be happening.”

“So you don’t want the condoms?” the attendant asks,
confused.

“Yes, we want them,” Ryke says.

“No, we don’t,” I refute. “Just the magazines.” I empty the
shelves and slide my card on the counter.

“For fuck’s sake, Lily,” Ryke snaps. “I’ll let you buy your
fucking tabloids, but at least let me buy my condoms. I don’t want to have to
go back out.”

“Fine,” I surrender. “The condoms too.” My neck heats. “But
just so you know, we’re all three
not
sleeping
together. These are wrong.” I slap my hand on the stack of tabloids. “He needs
the condoms for other girls.”

“She gets it, love,” Lo says.

The attendant swipes my card, looking freaked out by me. I
don’t care. All I want is for people to listen to the truth—is that too much to
ask?

Lo sidles up behind me and wraps his arms around my
shoulders. “She’s very protective of me,” he tells the attendant. “It’s sweet
actually, when she’s not going bat-shit crazy, that is.”

The attendant smiles warmly, and I punch Lo in the arm. “I’m
not crazy.”

His eyes soften in an apology. “I know.”

I carry the large stack of magazines in my hands, Lo and
Ryke refusing to help on principle. The drive home is layered in awkward
tension. I start reading the articles, and my anger only escalates. The word
nymphomaniac
sets me on edge. I’ve
always identified with being an
addict
,
and calling me a nympho makes it harder to argue that sex addiction is real. So
many people claim sex addiction is used to excuse people of their philandering
ways. And that’s not what this feels like at all.

By the time Lo pulls into the driveway, I’m fuming.

I jump out of the car only a second before it stops moving.
“Wait up, Lily!” Lo yells at me. But I’m on a mission.

Brett and Savannah appear out of nowhere, but I’m sure they
were waiting for us to come home. Their cameras zip to me and flash to Lo and
Ryke. I walk past in a hurry.

“You’re being overdramatic!” Ryke screams at me.
 

I open the door. “I’m not being overdramatic!” I yell back.
Okay, that was a
little
dramatic. I
storm into the kitchen, shifting the magazines so they don’t fall over.

I make it to the sink and toss them right in. Perfect. Then
I bend down to a bottom cupboard where Lo keeps the lighter fluid for the grill
outside. I take it out and start squirting the pile of magazines.

“Whoa!” Lo and Ryke yell together. They rush me all at once,
and then I feel someone else pry the plastic squirt bottle from my hand.

Connor.

Where the hell did he come from?

Lo draws me to his chest, his hands snug around my waist in
comfort, but I hardly calm down. I just want to destroy the
thing
that has hurt me. If I can’t reply
to the reporters or the comments, I might as well take it out on the actual
magazines.

My
older sister suddenly appears, tossing the soiled magazines in a large trash
bag. Dammit. I struggle in Lo’s arms, hoping to reach at least a single tabloid
and set it on fire.

It’s
clear by his firm grip that he’s not letting me go.

“What’s
going on?” Connor asks. His calm voice hardly instills tranquility. Tears
threaten to rise, so helpless and angry, a toxic mixture that burrows nasty
emotions inside of me.

“People
suck!” I scream.

Connor
reaches for a tabloid before Rose adds it to the others in the trash bag. He
doesn’t even flip it open, not that he could. The soaked pages cling together.

“I
don’t fucking care about the rumors.” Ryke extends his arms. “How many times do
I have to say that?”

“I’m
not a cheater! I don’t even like being an alleged cheater,” I say, my heart
racing. It’ll fly out of my chest any minute now. It’s not fair to me or to Lo.
He doesn’t deserve to be with “the girl who can’t close her legs.”

I
point a finger at the magazines. “And I
hate
being called a nympho!”

 
“What do you want to do about it, Lil?” Lo
asks, his lips near my ear. “Throw a tantrum in front of the cameras. Done.
They’ve got your reaction on film.”

I
go utterly still. That’s not what I wanted.

Connor
clears his throat. “Or you could light this on fire.” He tosses the magazine
into Rose’s trash bag. “It might be cathartic.”

My
shoulders lift at the thought.

Rose
gives Connor a disapproving look. “Don’t encourage her.” She drops the bag and
keeps her lighter-fluid soaked hands away from her clothes. I didn’t mean for
her to clean up my mess. I would have done it. Guilt bears down on me, and before
I can apologize, a voice rings out from the living room.

“Are
you fucking serious?!” Julian yells.

Daisy’s
boyfriend has her up against the wall, his nose in her face, and his hands on
either side of her head. He’s pinning her. My heart does fly out of my chest,
but it’s not even because of the tabloids.
Daisy…

 
“Do you know the
hell
that I went through for you?!”

Oh
my god.

“HEY!”
Ryke shouts. Before I can blink, he’s running, his whole demeanor changing to a
furious, dark Ryke Meadows in a split second. Brett sprints beside him, keeping
his camera angled to the living room in case of a fight. I try to take a step
forward, but Lo won’t release me, not even for this.

“I
have to help,” I whisper.

“I
don’t want you to get hurt.”

Connor
follows Ryke with a hurried, determined stride. Rose is in a rush to wash her
hands, and I think if it wasn’t lighter fluid, she’d say
fuck it
and go help Daisy on instinct.

“What’s
going on?” I ask Rose.

She
squirts a huge glob of soap onto her palm and talks rapidly, “We were in the
middle of breaking up with Julian for Daisy.” Her eyes flicker back to the
scene. “
Fuck.
”

“Come
again?” Lo snaps.

“Yeah,
what?” I ask, my pulse speeding. I flinch as Julian slams his fist into the
wall beside Daisy’s head. Fear bubbles in my chest. With Connor and Ryke
helping, I know she’ll be okay.

Rose’s
alarmed gaze stays fixed on the fight while she scrubs harder, faster. “Daisy
wanted to dump him, but she didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I thought that if
Connor and I did it for her and embarrassed her a little bit, she’d have enough
sense to do it herself next time.” She adds coldly, “If I’d known you were
going to have a mini-meltdown during the middle of it, I would have rescheduled.”

Ouch.
“I’m sorry.”

“It
could have gone bad regardless.”

At
least she called my meltdown
mini
.

We
watch Ryke grab Julian by the shoulder. He throws a well-deserved punch into
Julian’s jaw, the force knocking him back a couple steps. Then Julian regains
his balance and careens into Ryke, attempting to pummel him to the floor. But
Connor grips Ryke’s shoulder, keeping him upright.

Rose
turns off the faucet in haste, just as Ryke slams his fist into Julian’s face
again.

Daisy
stands petrified by the wall, and I wish I could run over to her and bring her
to safety—far, far away from her
ex
-boyfriend.

Rose
is by my side. “Get her out of there,” she says under her breath. I don’t think
she’s talking to me though.

Julian
cusses and stops to touch his swollen eye. His chest rises and falls heavily. I
wish Ryke would knee him in the nuts.

Julian
sets his sights on Daisy, his face hardened in anger. Both Rose and I start
forward on instinct, and Lo reaches out, clutching our arms. I think Rose would
curse him out if she wasn’t so hypnotized by the ongoing fight.

“You’re
just going to fucking stand there?!” Julian yells at our sister.

“What
do you want from me?” Daisy questions.

“For
you to give me back
months
of my life
that I wasted with you, you stupid cunt.”

Whoa.
Everything moves so fast. Connor holds Ryke by the shoulders while he shouts a
series of expletives, some I’ve never heard before. And then Lo releases Rose
and me, only so he can step in to help too.

But
I want him in the fight just as much as he wants me in it.

I
climb onto his back so he’ll stay put.

“Go
fuck someone who actually likes you, Julius!” Lo yells. “Oh
wait
, that leaves
no one
on this planet. Better go find someone who can take you to
Mars, you motherfucker!”

I
award him extra points for creativity.

Without
Lo restraining Rose from attack, she disappears into the kitchen, retrieving a
can of pepper spray in a drawer. Oh
yes.
She
charges the living room like a warrior queen, directing the can right at
Julian’s bruised face.