Three Thousand Miles - Forever, (book #3 of Three Thousand Miles, Series) (38 page)

“You are alright, then?” Edward yawns through his words and then I quickly
ask him for some cash.
“I am fine, I have lost my handbag and I need some cash to pay for my cab.”
Edward reaches into his pocket and he pulls out two twenty pound notes. I
briefly smile at him and then I grab the money from his hand. I stride down the
steps and I thrust the money in through the window of cab.

“Keep the change,” I say as I run back up the steps. I rush into the house and
then I head for the kitchen. I begin to rummage in the drawer until I find some
money, I shout on Edward and he comes walking into the kitchen.

“Your money,” I say as I throw the money into Edwards’s hand. He rolls his
eyes at my rudeness and then he carefully folds the notes and slides them back
into his pocket. He walks over to the breakfast bar and he takes a seat as he
begins to question me.

“Where is Adrian?” I don’t make eye contact with him as I begin to pour myself
a glass of water.

“He is at the hospital, your daughter was shot.” Edward’s eyes bulge out of his
head as my words ring in the air. He looks devastated and I roll my eyes at his
reaction. Edward has been keen to bond with Adrian, but I can’t say the same
for Emma. He hasn’t tried to meet up with her or to get to know her in any way
and I feel that’s disgusting behaviour. I don’t understand why he would want
to be in Adrian’s life and not in Emma’s. She is his daughter yet he ignores the
fact that she exists. I have never heard him talk about her –except for when I
first met him. He told me that he didn’t have a chance to bond with her, but
that is just a lame excuse. Emma is his child and he should do everything in his
power to get to know her. He should be tormenting her into seeing him and he
should feel a lot more remorse than he does. Instead, he focuses all of his
energy into getting to know Adrian. He arrives early in the morning and he
rushes up to his posh, office. He sits around all day –pretending that he is
working, living the high life and driving around ina fancy car –not giving his
daughter a second thought. I have held back in getting to know him as I don’t
like his attitude or his decisions. There is something about him that I don’t
trust and I feel uneasy in his presence. I have to excuse myself every time that
he comes to our house and I know that my actions frustrate Adrian so I haven’t
told him exactly how I feel about Edward. I feel that Adrian is happy to have his
father back in his life therefore, I don’t want poison his relationship with him
so I keep my thoughts about Edward to myself and I suffer in silence.

“Is she alright?” Edward says as he runs his fingers through his hair –another
habit which Adrian has inherited from his father.

“Emma had to have surgery to remove the bullet and she lost a lot of blood,
but the doctors seem to think that she is going tobe fine.” Edward smiles at
my words and then he switches the subject back to Adrian.

“How is Adrian? He left to come and find you, what happened with Michael?” I
scowl at Edward as his words turn my stomach. I have just told him that his
only daughter has been shot and he doesn’t seem as if he is bothered by this. I
don’t understand him –why is he so heartless towards Emma?

“Adrian is …fine, Michael has left for good and Chad is dead.” Edward shakes
his head at my revelation and I watch his green eyes shift as he tries to process
my words. I look at him and then I think of William –where is he?

“Where is William?” I ask in a firm tone. Edward shakes his head and then he
informs me where William is.

“He is upstairs sleeping,” I frown at him as I can’t believe that Adrian asked him
to look after his son. Edward is in no fit state to look after a child and he is the
last person on earth that I would have thought Adrian would have asked for
help.

“Okay I have to say something,” I say as I take a large gulp of my water. Edward
nods at me and then waits for my next words. “Why are you so heartless
towards Emma?” Edward’s eyes intensify as he takes in my insult.

“Excuse me?” Edward says as he begins to shift around nervously in his seat. I
take another sip of water and then I tell Edward exactly how I am feeling.
“I don’t get why you want to be in Adrian’s life and not in Emma’s.” Edward
rolls his eyes at me and then he slowly rises fromthe seat.

“It’s time for me to leave now.” Edward walks over to the door of the kitchen
and I shake my head at him as he looks back me. Edwards’s eyes have
deepened and I recognise his angry stare. He staresat me as he stands
motionless and then he briefly smirks at me as he leaves the room –without
answering my questions.

I march into the hallway and I see that Edward is heading towards the front
door. I briefly watch him as he reaches for the door handle, but before he
pushes the door open and leaves, I shout after hm.

“Edward…wait.” He turns around to face me and then he urges me that he isn’t
in the mood for my games.

“Make it quick,” I exhale as I walk over to him. I stand in front of Edward and I
stare up into his green catlike eyes. He is holding onto the door knob as he
impatiently waits for me to speak. I try to clear my mind as I need to string my
words together in a –subtle manner. My brutal honesty didn’t seem to work
before so now I have to re-think my words.

“I have noticed that you haven’t spent any time with Emma and I have sensed
that there might me a reason for that. If you tell me then perhaps I can help
you.” Edward exhales and then he pulls his hand away from the door knob, I
smile as I feel that my words are getting through to him.

“I would love to get to know my daughter, but I can’t.” I frown at him.

 

“Why not?” Edward deeply exhales at my question and then he bites his lower
lip as he tries to explain.

 

“Because I am terrified of her mother,” I gently laugh as an image of Maggie
enters my mind.

 

“You expect me to believe that you’re scared of Maggie?”

“Adrian has told me that Emma and her mother are very close and there is no
way that Maggie is going let me in Emma’s life. I would rather just put my
daughter to the back of my mind because I know that I will never get to see
her.” Edward is crazy, Emma is her own woman and Maggie couldn’t stop her
from seeing Edward. I stare at him and I feel that there is more that he isn’t
saying.

“That’s a stupid reason and come on I am not buying it. Tell me the real reason
that you don’t want to see Emma.” Edward frowns atme –in the same way
that Adrian does. I close my eyes as I can’t escape Adrian’s face as I look at
Edward. I am feeling so bad that I ran out of the hospital and left him there to
deal with everything –on his own. Adrian needed me, but again I was too
selfish to stay with him and now I am dreading the moment that those green
eyes look at me.

“I do want to see her; it’s because of Maggie that I can’t.”

“Do you still have feelings for her?” Edward blushes at my words and now
everything is falling into place –Edward loves Maggie. I stare at him as he
begins to look uneasy and awkward as he leans against the front door. My
head is rushing with new thoughts about him, but Ican’t escape one thought –
why did her leave Maggie?

“Of course I do, I have always had feelings for her. When we met she was the
most beautiful woman that I had ever seen and she made me feel –iconic. I
loved her so much, but I was scared of commitment and once Emma was born
things for me completely changed. I felt trapped and I started to go out for
days on end because I couldn’t stand to be home. I hated the feeling of settling
down and being with one woman for the rest of my life.” I scowl at Edward and
then I take back my rude gesture as I begin to feel for him. I can tell that his
insecurities come from someplace deep inside of him and I want to get to the
root of it. I get the feeling that he is damaged –just like his son, but the
question is, why? What has made him the way he is and what has triggered
him into abandoning two children. I need to get to the bottom if this and I
need to know more about Edward Black.

“That’s doesn’t make any sense, you say that you loved her so how could you
leave her?” Edward nervously plays with his grey tie as he thinks of his reply.

“I am not like Adrian, I don’t talk about my feelings and I am not the family
orientated man that he is. All I know is that I did love Maggie and I think that I
am still in love with her to this day. But it’s toolate and I have to accept that I
have lost the only woman that I have ever loved.” Now we are finally getting
somewhere –Edward does still love Maggie and this is crazy. Maggie was so in
love Edward and she was devastated when he left her. Maggie stopped
believing in love because her one true love abandoned her and their baby. I
remember how stunned she was when she saw Adrian for the first time –she
looked at him and she saw Edward and I saw that she still loved him –oozing
from her eyes. But Maggie had to move on and that’s exactly what she did with
Ryan and as I look at Edward I can’t help but wonder if he knows that Maggie is
with someone.

“I am sorry I didn’t realise that’s how you felt. I hate that I have to tell you this,
but Maggie is with someone.” My words choke out from my lips and I feel
awful that I have had to break his heart like this.Edward’s green eyes fill with
water and I am stunned by his sensitive side. He seems so different to the
Edward I know and if I am honest I kind of like this new side to him. He seems
softer and more approachable, not as smug as before and not a total douche
bag. Oh crap, am I starting to fall for Edward’s charm?

Twenty-Three

My alarm buzzes excessively as it wakes me the following morning. I slowly
open my eyes and I reach over and hit the snooze button and then I flop my
head back down onto my pillow. I rest my eyes as I think of Adrian. He never
came to bed last night and I am not sure if he even came home last night at all.
After Edward left I went into William’s room as he had woken up and he was
scared. I stayed with him until he fell asleep and then I went to bed. I never
slept much as I tossed and turned waiting for Adrian to come, but he never did
–at least I don’t think. My eyes jolt open as I hear a soft knock at the door, I
slowly sit up in the bed and then I hear William’s cute voice.

“Alanna,” he says as he pushes the door open. He runs over to the bed and he
lunges into my arms. I grip him tightly as I seek comfort in his affection. He
pulls back from me and then he plants a soft kiss onto my cheek, I gently run
my fingers through his messy hair as I bid him good morning.

“Good morning sweetie,” I gush as I lean back against the headboard of the
bed –huddling William into my chest as I do. He grips onto me and he stares up
at me with his father’s eyes, I smile at him as I feel that he looks confused.

“Where is daddy?” He asks in a soft voice. I clear my throat as I try to explain
that his daddy didn’t come home last night.

“Daddy didn’t come home last night sweetie, but he is fine, don’t worry.”
William sits up and he stares into my eyes –my heart is pounding, have I
crossed the line in telling him that Adrian hasn’t come home? Have I confused
him more? My head is spinning and I need to reassure him that everything is
okay. “Aunty Emma is sick and your daddy was looking after last night, that’s
why he didn’t come home.”

“Oh no, is Aunty Emma going to be alright?” William rubs his eyes as he tries to
hold back his tears. I lean across to him and I lift him onto my lap. He wraps his
little arms around my neck and I want to take away his fears. I want to make
him smile and I want him to know that he is getting a little brother or sister. I
clear my throat as I begin to tell William that I am pregnant, but I pause when
Adrian bursts into the room. William leaps from the bed and into Adrian’s arms
and I smile at his affection towards his dad. Adrian gently holds his son as he
soothes him with his smooth English accent.

“It’s good to see you mate,” William grips onto his father as I shift nervously in
the bed. The last time that I spoke to Adrian I was telling him that I need to
leave and that I was to blame for everything. He was angry with me and he
insisted that I forget my feelings and move on, butI couldn’t and I still can’t. I
feel that I am to blame and I need time to think about everything. As I fix my
eyes on Adrian’s green stare, I begin to wonder if he is mad at me. I can usually
tell if he is angry with me, but today he seems –blank and I can’t read his
feelings. His eyes are loose as he holds onto his son and I can’t tear my eyes
away from him. I don’t know how to be around this Adrian as I haven’t had to
be in a while. Since Adrian and I got back together–after I was shot, he has
changed in so many ways. He has learned to share his feelings and to talk to
me about his life, he has opened up to me and shared his inner demons, but as
I stare at him, I see the rude, blank Adrian who I met at a year ago at the event.
I sigh as I pray that he hasn’t taken a step forward only to take two steps back.

Adrian gently pulls his arms away from William and then he urges him to go
and play in his room. William fist-punches Adrian and then he smiles at me as
he runs out of the room. Adrian rises up from the floor and he glides over to
the door, he shuts it and then he strides into the bathroom –he gently slams
the door as he does. I roll my eyes at his childishbehaviour, but then I realise
that I deserve it. I bailed on Adrian when he needed me and that’s not what a
marriage is supposed to be about. I should have stayed with Adrian and I
should have comforted him whilst he watched over his sister, but I couldn’t. I
couldn’t stand to be in that hospital another minute and I was dreading seeing
Maggie, I couldn’t handle the stress and I felt that it would be better if I
removed myself from the situation. I hate that I torture Adrian and I wish that I
could take back every hurtful memory that I have caused him –but I can’t. I
need to try and explain to him how much I love him and how much I am sorry,
but now I know for sure that he is mad at me because he has went straight into
the shower –without saying hello to me first.