Three Thousand Miles - Forever, (book #3 of Three Thousand Miles, Series) (17 page)

“Emily where did you meet this boy?” I ask as I switch off the curling wand. I
place it onto the heatproof mat that lies on the dressing table and then I take a
seat on Emily’s bed. She plays with her hair and then she turns to face me. Her
eyes are darting through me as she speaks.

“I met him at the movies,” she gushes. Emily is just a child and I don’t want her
to get hurt, but I know how hard it is to love someone who might be wrong for
you. When Adrian and I first got together, I was constantly urged by my friends
to stay away from him. They saw him as older, sexy, danger guy and they felt
that I was doomed to have my heart broken by him. But my love for him was
too strong and I wasn’t going to stay away from Adrian –no matter how hard
my family and friends pushed me to. I only wanted him and I would stop at
nothing to get what I wanted, I strongly believe that no one could have kept
me from him and I am glad that no one did. Adrian is the best thing that has
ever happened to me and I feel blessed every day that I am with him. He is my
world and if this boy is Emily’s world, then no one can keep her from him. But
now that I work here and now that I have become attached to Emily, I don’t
feel that she should be with this boy, so I need to give her advice and I need to
find out exactly what is going on.

“You said that he is older, how much older?”

 

“He is sixteen.” A sixteen year old boy is much more grown up than a thirteen
year old girl – I don’t like the sound of this.

“That is quite an age gap doesn’t it bother you?” I ask as I lock my eyes on hers.
I am trying to be subtle with my questions as I don’t want her to get annoyed
with me and shut me out. I am glad that she is confiding in me –at least she has
one person giving her advice.

“Mr Black is three years older than you, doesn’t it bother you?” I am little
stunned by Emily’s words. I begin to feel uneasy as I try to maintain my
calmness.

“It’s not really the same for me as it is for you. I am twenty-three and you’re
thirteen you are still a child and you need to focus on being one. You have your
whole life to worry about boys and all of the grown up stuff. Being a teenager
is the best thing in the world and you should cherish every day because once
your childhood is gone, you can never get it back.” Emily lunges off the seat
and now she is griped onto me. I tightly hug her as I beam from ear to ear.
Emily has found comfort in talking to me and I can’t describe how it’s making
me feel. I feel as if I have helped her in so many ways and I am glad that she
has seemed to listen to my advice.

“You’re right Miss Alanna; I do have plenty of timefor boys. I don’t need to be
spending my days cooped up in my room pining for him. I need to be free to
live my life and love will find me when it’s time.”

The visitors are slowly starting to pile in through the doors and as they make
their way into the lounge area to meet the children, my heart is pounding.
Today is such an important day for them and I really hope that everything goes
well. If just one of the children gets the chance to have a proper family, then
that makes everything worthwhile.

Janet ushers me into the kitchen as she wants me to help her to make some
more refreshments for the guests. She orders me to make some sandwiches
and to boil some more tea. So with her orders, I begin to make up a batch of
cheese and ham sandwiches and a large teapot of earl grey. I cut the
sandwiches into quarters and I place them onto the large silver tray, that Janet
has now burst in through the door carrying. I hand her the tea and sandwiches
and she quickly rushes out of the door thanking me as she does.

“Thanks sweetie, you are an angel.” I laugh at her words and then I begin to
clear up. As I wash some of the dishes I feel a soft tap on my lower back. I turn
around and I see Olivia standing behind me. I immediately stop what I am
doing and I kneel down to her level. She is very cute today in her pink and
white dress. Her blonde hair is in a long plait and her huge brown eyes are
sparkling. I feel so drawn to her as I take in her looks. I watch as she nervously
sucks on her thumb. I begin to wonder if something is bothering her, so I
quickly ask my little friend if she is okay.

“How are you, sweetie?” She smiles at me and then her smile fades. My heart
is pounding as I look at the little girl. I want to wrap her up in my arms and
never let her go. I want to care for her and I want to protect her from all that is
bad in the world. I reach out and take her little, plump hand in mine. She
smiles at me as she begins to move closer. She wraps her arms around my neck
and she grips onto me as if there is no tomorrow.

“I am scared,” she confesses.

“Oh sweetie why are you scared,” I say as I gently pat her back. She pulls back
from my neck and now she is looking directly into my eyes. I stare at her and I
can feel her pain. She is scared of rejection.

“I am scared of those people. I don’t know who they are.”

“Olivia those people are here to meet you and I can assure you that they won’t
hurt you. They are just like me, they want to help you and you never know one
of those women out there could be your new mommy, don’t you want that?”
Olivia considers her options before she answers.

“I want a mummy, but I want it to be you, Miss Alanna.” Olivia smiles at me as
her words pass from her full, rosy lips. I can’t believe that she has said this to
me. I am so flattered that I can’t breathe and I can’t help but think what if I was
her mommy?

“Sweetie,” I gush as I hold her tighter. “I wish that I could be your mommy.”

As the day lingers on and it’s nearing home time, I am glad as I feel exhausted.
I quickly walk along the wide, bright hallway until I reach the lounge. I walk in
and I say my goodbyes to every one of the children. Emily and Olivia are
especially sad to see that it’s time for me to go, but they know that I will be
back on Monday. I give Emily a large hug and a sloppy kiss on her cheek and
then I lift Olivia into my arms as I say my goodbyes.

“Now sweetie it’s time for me to go, but you know that I will see you on
Monday, right?” Olivia smiles at me and then she grips her little hands around
my neck as she kisses my cheek. Olivia sighs as she breaks free from my arms.

“I know Miss Alanna,”

I march out of the room and along the hallway once again. I step out into the
bitter cold of London as I make my way to my car. As I drive through the
streets of London, I am suddenly caught up in the rush-hour traffic – great.
Now I have to sit in a long line of cars as I almost pass out from exhaustion. I
push on the radio as I don’t want to drift off into a deep sleep as I wait for the
cars to move. I turn the radio up as I love the song that is playing. I slowly and
tiredly begin to sing along with the words.

“I knew that we become one right away – oh right away. At first sight I felt the
energy of sun rays, I saw the life inside your- eyes. So shine bright, tonight, you
and I, we’re beautiful like diamonds in the sky.”

The cars begin to slowly pull away in front of me and I become alert as I push
my foot down gently onto the gas pedal. The music is still playing and I am still
singing, however I cut short my song as my phone begins to ring through the
Bluetooth. I quickly answer the call and I am surprised when it’s Michael’s
voice that I hear.

“Hello Alanna… its Michael.”
He says in a slow, quiet voice. He doesn’t seem
like himself and I wonder if there is anything wrong.

“Hey Michael… how are you?”
“I am okay, actually Alanna I called you because I need to see you.”
Michael
hasn’t called me in so long and I have only seen him a handful of times since
the wedding. Ever since Adrian and I got married Michael has kept his distance
and I have to admit that it is a little hard to deal with. Michael is someone who
I hold dear to my heart, so it does pain me to know that we aren’t as close as
we once were. I consider my options and then I agree to see Michael.

“Okay, when do you want to meet?”

“Could you meet me tomorrow at my house? You know where it is, right?”
I try
to picture Michael’s house and I have a faint idea of how to get there. Adrian
and I visited Michael and Emma there a few months back and I am sure that
once I am in the area, I will remember which house is his. I smile a little as I
reply.

“I will find you, what time do you want me there?”
“After ten, is that okay?”
I take in Michael’s voice and he seems a little shaken.
I have to ask him again if everything is okay.

“I will be there. Listen Michael, is everything, okay?”
He takes a moment to
reply and when he does his words alert me into thinking that not everything is
as it seems.

“I just need to see you, Alanna will you promise me that you will be there?”
“Of course,”
“I am counting on you, oh and Alanna; I feel that it would be best if you didn’t
tell Adrian that you are meeting with me.”
“Why?”

“You know what he is like, he doesn’t like when weare alone together.”
Michael’s choice of words has me worried and I am confused as to why he
would want me to lie to Adrian. I thought that everything was going well
between them and I was under the impression that Michael had moved on
from his jealousy. Now hearing his words has me second guessing my
thoughts. I take a deep breath as I reply to his words.

“I am sure that he wouldn’t mind, but if you feel that it’s for the best then I
won’t tell him.”
Michael gently laughs as I agree with him and then he bids me
goodbye.

I drive in silence the entire way home and when I finally reach the door of the
house, I am starving. I quickly rush into the cold hallway and I immediately rush
into the kitchen. I switch on the light as I begin to rummage through the
refrigerator. I can’t decide if I want something sweet or if I want a savoury dish
so I decide to have both. I begin to fry some chicken fillets as I scoff down an
entire piece of chocolate cake. I have never felt so hungry in my life and my lips
are watering at the sight of the chicken. Once it’s fried, I take it from the pan
and I place onto my plate along with salad and bread. I inhale the entire meal,
but I am still not satisfied so I make my way back over the fridge. I scan the
contents and I decide to have another piece of cake. I quickly finish off the
cake and then I wash it down by drinking a can of coke. I can’t believe that I
have eaten so much food, what is wrong with me?

Adrian comes home an hour or so later and I immediately greet him with a kiss
as he walks into the lounge. He is dressed in a dark blue suit today and his hair
is messy – as usual. I wrap my arms around him as I inhale the scent from his
cologne. Adrian slides his hand down my back as he grips me tighter. I kiss him
and then his lips move onto my neck as he whispers to me.

“Baby I have missed you so much,” I gently run my fingers through his hair as
he kisses me again. I finally manage to break free from him after a few
moments of kissing.

“Are you hungry?” I ask as I straighten out my sweater. Adrian smiles at me as
he takes off his suit jacket. I stare at him as I hope that he remembers not to
leave his clothes lying around. Adrian must have read my thoughts, as he
clutches his jacket. He walks out into the hallwayand he opens the coat closet.
He throws his jacket in and then he makes his way back into the lounge.

“I have already eaten,” he says firmly. I smile at him as I am glad that I have
been relieved of cooking duty. Adrian glides over to the sofa and he gently
flops down. I soon follow him and I curl up into his arms. Adrian touches my
hair as he begins to ask me about my day.
“How was your day, did you have a good time at the orphanage?” I beam as I
reply.

“I had an amazing time, but today was hard on the children.”

“Why?” I begin to explain to Adrian that today was an open day and to my
dread, Adrian knows all about them. He has told me about his experiences of
open days and he has shared with me that he knows exactly how the children
are feeling. He said that he used to cry himself to sleep when his father didn’t
come and collect him. He would stay in his room for days after the open day –
just thinking of what could have been. Adrian needed to be rescued and luckily
for him, Mr Jenkins did exactly that. He took Adrian into his life and made him
his son; I can’t help but wonder what would have happened to him if he
hadn’t. As hard as it is for me to think about Adrian not being in my life, I know
that if Mr Jenkins hadn’t of adopted Adrian then he and I would have never
met. Adrian wouldn’t have been at the event that night and I would never have
seen him. I can’t begin to describe how crippling that feeling is. I can’t bear to
think of my life without him and I would rather die than be apart from him.

“I hate to think of you being upset. It must be hard for you to think back on
those days.” Adrian sinks further into the cushions of the sofa as he takes in my
words. His full - lips are gently parted as he begins to tell me about his
childhood.

“Those days were the worst of my life even more so than my time with Alice. I
would spend my days getting into fights and causing more trouble than I could
ever get out of. The governess of the foster home which I stayed in was
tortured by me. I never gave her a minute’s peace and I always needed
attention that she couldn’t give to me. I wanted for her to treat me in a
different way to the other boys. I wanted her to depend on me and I wanted all of her. When I look back on my actions I realise that I just wanted to be
loved.” I lay my head onto Adrian’s chest as I takein his confession. I love that
he is being so honest with me and I feel guilty that I am keeping my meeting
with Michael a secret from him. I know that Michael has told me not to tell
him, but Adrian is my husband and I am not going to lie to him – not for
anyone. I clear my throat as I prepare to tell Adrian about my plans, but he
begins to talk again and I don’t have the heart to cut him off. So I listen to his
deep English voice.