This Is Not That Dawn: Jhootha Sach (146 page)

Tara did not mind the friendly reproach from Nath. It crossed her mind, ‘Perhaps I wrote too much about my expectations and I may have come across a bit too assertive.’

The
mundan
ceremony of Mercy’s son Ashok was on the first Sunday of June 1953.

Marcy had asked a Hindu pundit to perform the rites of havan and pooja. After the havan ceremony, Ashok’s black, silky-soft curly hair was cut and his head was shaved with a straight razor.

Heera Lal didn’t let go of the chance to have a friendly quibble with Mercy. He said, ‘Bhabhi, what a shame! After marrying a Hindu you also have turned into a Hindu. Have you lost your senses? You’ve made his pretty face look like an earthen pot.’

Mercy said, flashing her eyes at Heera Lal, ‘How have I turned into a Hindu? How could I let the boy stay hirsute when his uncle had cut his hair?’

The pundit could not help but preach, ‘Hair from mother’s womb are contaminated and bad for the health of the baby. They make the baby hot-tempered. All Aryan practices have a scientific…’

Mercy could not stand the pundit’s lecture. She said, ‘The ritual of mundan is performed nowhere in the world except India. You mean the brains of rest of the world are heated up. I didn’t have a mundan. Do you think I’m hot-headed?’ ‘Maybe a little bit,’ Narottam said quietly.

Mercy gave Narottam a look, but continued, ‘The boy had an itchy scalp, his head needed to be shaved.’

The pundit joined in enthusiastically, ‘That’s the scientific explanation. The Aryans had…’

Narottam barged in, ‘Didi, instead of burning a pao of ghee in the fire as offering, you could have used it to make paranthas.’

Mercy blew up, ‘Doesn’t your government spend millions on the Republic Day celebrations! And you mind my using up just a little ghee for my son? How could I shave such a lovely head of hair without any ritual?’

The moment he heard the words ‘government’ and ‘republic day’, Mathur spoke up, ‘PM has a fetish for grandiose ideas.’

That was the start of a political discussion.

Tara took Ashok in her arms, and said as she took off his shirt, ‘The custom is that after the child’s hair is cut, he wears new clothes sent by his nani, maternal grandmother. Instead of nani Ashok will wear clothes given by his
masi
, aunt.’ She had brought along a romper suit as a present. She changed the boy’s clothes and sat him again in her lap.

‘Listen everybody!’ Mercy said to attract the gathering’s attention, and then pointed to Tara, ‘What do you think? An empty lap looks better or one with a child in it?’

Tara turned crimson with embarrassment. ‘Didi, you…!’ she said, pretending to leave with the child. ‘All right, I’m going and taking Ashok with me.’

The guests began to leave after refreshments were served around ten o’clock. Mercy asked Tara and Narottam to stay on for lunch.

Tara said to Narottam, ‘What’s the point of sitting here and listening to the comrades’ discussion for the next three hours! Since I have come this far, let’s go and visit Kanchan.’ When Kanak had come to visit Tara in November, Tara had gone to drop her off in order to see the location of her father’s house. She explained to Mercy that she was going to visit someone in Faiz Bazaar, and will be back in an hour.

Tara and Narottam made their way downstairs and walked to the car. Narottam turned the ignition on, then said abruptly, ‘Didi, this may not be a good time to visit Kanchan.’

Narottam’s reluctance to visit Kanchan surprised Tara, ‘Why, what’s the matter?’

‘Let me first get out of here.’ He seemed distracted as they drove off.

‘What is it?’ Tara again asked.

‘Kanak bhabhi is at her parent’s home.’

‘When did she come?’

‘About a month ago.’

‘
Hain!
No one told me.’

‘I didn’t know either.’

‘When did you find out?’

‘I had gone yesterday evening to their home. Bhabhi didn’t say much, seemed a bit quiet. Panditji was also very quiet. Everyone was speaking in hushed tones. When Kanchan came with me to the spot where I was parked to see me off, she told me that bhabhi had been in Delhi for the past month. Kanchan didn’t mention anything when she had come to visit you that Sunday.’

‘Yes, she didn’t. I’m surprised.’

‘What surprised me most was that bhabhi was here all along and even you didn’t know. When I asked Kanchan if bhabhi had met you, she just shook her head. How long will she stay here? I asked. Kanchan said that she’ll tell me later.’

Narottam did not take the Golcha turn, but drove on towards Delhi Gate.

Tara said worriedly, ‘We should find out why she’s been here so long.’

Tara and Narottam went for coffee at the Blue Nile in Connaught Place. Narottam said, ‘I went there only yesterday. Will it be proper to again so soon?’

‘Find some excuse.’

‘What sort of excuse?’

‘You can’t find an excuse? Buy two seers of mangoes. Say Miss Deva had sent a parcel from Lucknow for me, and I wanted to give some to Kanchan.’

‘Write a note with that message. I’ll go either today or tomorrow.’

‘Don’t pretend to be so innocent. Who did you ask for advice when you were courting Kanchan?’

‘Didi, that is different.’

‘Listen, go tomorrow. Say that you had told me about Kanak being in Delhi, and that I had said that I’d go to see her. You must tell me about your visit. You can ring me, if you want.’

After they returned to Mercy’s flat, Tara wrote a note, ‘Narottam tells me that Kanak is in Delhi. Please telephone me and let me know when she is going back. I’d like to meet her.’

Narottam said when he came Monday evening, ‘Kanak bhabhi didn’t say anything about going back. Panditji had gone out, her mother was in the kitchen. We sat in the aangan. She said that she was looking for work in Delhi, and that a monthly salary of 150 or 200 rupees would be fine. Something is wrong. She also said that she’d go to your place to meet you.’

Tara remained preoccupied with the thought that something untoward may have happened in Jalandhar.

Kanak came to Tara’s flat unaccompanied by Jaya or Kanchan at 8.30 in the morning on Sunday. Tara had washed her hair and was drying them sitting under the ceiling fan. They hugged each other warmly.

‘You didn’t bring Munni along?’

‘It’d be very hot and sunny when I go back, that’s why.’

‘You came after such a long time. If you hadn’t said that you’d come, I’d have gone to meet you.’

‘I hardly do anything at home. You return home tired from the office.’

Both fell silent, thinking of what was coming next. Tara began to inquire after the family in Jalandhar. Once that was done, they again sat silently. Finally Tara asked, ‘Narottam said that you were looking for a job here?’

Kanak bowed her head and nodded.

‘But why? You liked managing the weekly.’

‘I can’t live in Jalandhar any more.’ Kanak said gravely, looking at the floor.

‘What happened? Did my mother say anything to you? Bhabhi, you know her…’ Tara said, putting her arm gently round Kanak’s shoulder and ready to share a confidence with her.

‘No, it’s not that,’ Kanak said, cutting her short.

‘Then?’

‘It’s not possible for me to live in Jalandhar. He’s what he is by nature and I know my big failing is that I can’t be a compliant wife. Everyone gives him so much respect. But I can’t. Maybe I am punishing myself for it, but I can’t live with him. I feel we just aren’t compatible. Problems began six months after our marriage. I put up with it for five years, but can’t do that any more. If my decision sets the tongues wagging, so be it. I don’t know what to do?’ Kanak covered her face with her aanchal.

Tara was puzzled, but at the same time she could see that Kanak was deeply distressed. She hugged Kanak, and said, ‘Come, let’s go to the bedroom.’

Kanak wept for ten minutes. It was hot in the room, but Tara kept her arms around Kanak. When Kanak felt a little better, she briefly told Tara about her marital problems at Tara’s behest. She also described what Puri had said about Tara and their quarrel over Sheelo. In the end she said, ‘Our natures and temperaments are just not compatible. I tried to put up with him as long as I could for the sake of appearance. But not any more…’

Tara had no reason to fear her brother, but she was still hurt to know how he felt about her. Now there was no hope for her to reunite with her family. Rather, she felt for Kanak, who was fighting for her independence and the right to exist as an individual. Tara was thinking, ‘How could Kanak turn herself into an uncomplaining slave? If this is what marriage means, it’s better to remain unmarried. First impressions can be so deceptive!’ She shared her thoughts with Kanak.

Tears again filled Kanak’s eyes. She said, ‘Pitaji, jijaji and others were so much against my friendship with him.’ She described her arguments with Nayyar about Puri, and the lies that Puri had told her about Tara. She made no bones about what she had given up for Puri’s sake, and said, ‘In spite of doing all that for him, this is what it has come to now. If I could suppress my feelings that easily, could be that quiet and compliant, our marriage wouldn’t have taken place at all in the face of my family’s objections.’

Tara simply said to her, ‘I don’t see it as your fault. Earlier, you did what you honestly thought was right, and I can’t blame you for the present situation.’

Kanak had told her father, ‘I don’t want to go back to Jalandhar for some time. I feel like staying in Delhi. Ma is not keeping well. Kanchan has her teaching job. I want to spend time with ma. It doesn’t really matter if I’m not in Jalandhar. Managing the weekly does not take more than two persons. I’d like to take some time off and get some rest.’

Although Kanak had not said in so many words, Panditji had guessed that his daughter and son-in-law now had a strained relationship. He was worried that the situation might drag on. His worry increased when he found out about Kanak looking for a job in Delhi, and realized that the divisions between the two were deeper than he thought. He knew his daughter’s temperament, and the difficulties that her obstinacy might create.

Panditji wrote a letter to Puri, ‘Kanni is my daughter, and you are my son. You are not two separate souls for me, but one and the same, because I cannot imagine the disconnect between your life and well-being, and hers.
Both of you should live in harmony because your fates are tied together. Your understanding and experience of life is deeper than hers. Because your share of responsibility is greater than hers, Kanak should defer to you. We shall do our best to counsel her, but first and foremost it is your right and obligation to counsel and win her over. You are her guiding light and mentor, and she a part of your life. Therefore it’s your responsibility to enlighten her when she errs or is at fault. Her lapses of judgement will also have a bearing on you. It will be your magnanimity to come here and offer to take her back with you.’

Puri came to Delhi immediately after he got Panditji’s letter, in the hope that Kanak will listen to her father and agree to go back with him to Jalandhar. Panditji explained the situation to Puri when they were alone together, ‘Barkhurdar, I do not know the reason and the circumstances. And I don’t need to know them,’ he laughed, crinkling his eyes. ‘You both are adults, not kids.’ He lowered his voice, ‘I think that Kanak has been deeply wounded, and only you can redeem the situation. She is looking for a job here. I’m sure that beti Tara must have been in touch with her bhabhi. Tara is a good and kind person. I came to know from Kanchi that Tara, in sympathy with Kanak, was helping her find a job. Tara beti wants to help Kanak like she helps everyone, but the help that Kanak really needs would be to persuade her to return to Jalandhar.’ Such praise of Tara incensed Puri, ‘She’s helping Kanak find a job! So that Kanak won’t have to go back to Jalandhar. She’s always tried to harm us and hurt us. She ruined Mohanlal’s family, now she wants to do the same to me. I’ll never ever have anything to do with her!’

When he was alone with Kanak, Puri reminded her about how she had pledged her love to him and the sacrifices she had made for him. With tears in his eyes he made every possible promise to her, even begged her by touching her feet. When she did not relent, Puri vented his frustration by vilifying Tara, ‘You’re under the spell of that snake of a woman, who has ruined so many lives! She’s a misanthrope. What she likes best is to ruin others’ families.’

Puri went back from Delhi unsuccessful. There was no question of his meeting Tara.

Before coming back home empty-handed, Puri had concealed for over a month the fact of Kanak going to Delhi with Jaya, keeping even Masterji
and his mother in the dark about it. Heeran was limited in what she could do in the house, and it was often inconvenient not to have another woman to supervise her. Puri had to ask his mother to come and live with him in Model Town. He had explained that Kanak had gone to Delhi because of her mother’s illness, and might stay there for a month or two. Kanta or Nayyar were not told anything. He had hoped that Kanak would eventually return, and the news of his wife leaving him will remain hidden and not cause a scandal.

Puri, who had always been jealous of Nayyar’s hold over Kanak, was now forced by circumstances to ask for Nayyar’s help. His hope was that if Kanak listened to Nayyar and agreed to return to Jalandhar, he won’t lose face with anyone except Nayyar. As Kanta and Nayyar were now related to him twice over, it would also be in their interest to keep his situation secret. Puri decided to share his problem with Nayyar and Kanta.

‘Her wilfulness and arrogance makes her exaggerate even the most trivial matters. She’s been living in Delhi for over a month now. How could it have been possible for me not to say even a word about running the press and the weekly? Because when I did, it was for her good and for our mutual benefit. What do I stand to gain from the business? She has our finances in her hands and the house is also in her name. I’ve always given her more importance than me. Still, if you both say so, from now on I won’t interfere at all. As it is, I get little time to spare after attending the assembly, doing the Congress party work and sitting on all those committees. If I ever intervened in anything, it was only because I couldn’t bear to see the fruit of my hard work going to the dogs.’