This Girl Stripped (16 page)

“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.” I move under his touch and search for his lips in the dark. We meet in a connection full of promise. My lips part, welcoming his tongue as our hands explore each other’s bodies. I miss the feel of his hands on my skin. He pulls my shirt over my head, and I tug at the hem of his. Our clothes fly all over my bedroom as we fumble in the dark like we’re teens having sex for the first time.

We laugh and for the first time in probably my entire life, I’m genuinely happy. The moment of us re-uniting couldn’t be anymore perfect. It isn’t sexy or hot. It isn’t off the charts like the night we spent together. It’s both of us; raw, and real - loving, and starting our future together.

His hard dick presses against my wet and waiting pussy, and I let out a gasp of anticipation. I want to feel him inside me again. I want him to mark me as his. I want to mark him as mine. I want the status of our relationship clear for the world to see.

“I need you, Diesel. Please.” I beg him, as he takes my hard nipple in his mouth and pulls back from me.

“What do you need, Princess?”

“I need to feel you inside me, again.” I can’t help but let out a moan as the words travel from my lips. He feels so good all over my body. He lets out a groan, and I feel him pressed against my entrance once again. This time he doesn’t stop. With ease he pushes his cock inside me, only coming to a stop once he is seated deeply.

“Fuck, this is my favorite place.” He mumbles as his hips start to move. “It’s like you were made for me, Princess.” He pulls out and grabs his cock with his hand, rubbing it over my clit before pushing back inside of my pussy.

“Oh god,” I cry out when his dick hits my sweet spot. My body is on fire from his touch. It feels so good, but everything about this is different. It isn’t about sex or getting off. It’s about expressing the feelings we have for each other without words. Because at this point, there are no words to describe what we feel for each other. For the direction our relationship is going in, I love him, I could never tell him that right now, but I’m going to do my damnedest tonight to show him.

And I do, all night long as we make love repeatedly. Shortly before I drift off to sleep, I lay my head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. I think about the future, and everything the next couple months will hold.

“Diesel?” I ask, wondering if he has finally passed out or if he is still with me.

“Yes, Princess?” he answers me in barely a whisper.

“Never leave me.”

Walking into Star’s house, the last person I expected to see was Chrome. For the past couple weeks, all the guys have been so busy that he’s been missing in action. And did I mention my sister has been downright fucking miserable?

“Fancy meeting you here.” I sass him, but he doesn’t look amused by any means. “What climbed up your ass and died?” I’m playing, all in good fun. I want to try and crack a smile on his damn face, but I only seem to piss him off more. Lovely.

“You, Paisley. What the fuck did you do to River?”

What did I do? You’ve got to be kidding me, right?

“Look, Chrome; River made his own bed. He strung me along. He broke my heart. He has no right to sulk around or be pissed off. He did this all to himself.” I make my way over to the fridge and look for something that doesn’t contain alcohol. Although, I could really go for a beer.

“He has issues, Paisley. I was hoping you could help him.” Me, help him? I tried, and all he did was tap-dance all over my broken heart. I connected with him. I told him shit I’ve never shared with anyone else, and this is what I end up dealing with?

“Chrome, I got problems too. They all stem from
your
family. First it was Zane, then it was River. I don’t want problems with you too, okay?” I didn’t realize I let the part about Zane slip until Chrome looks at me with worry on his face.

“Zane? What the fuck did Zane do to you?” He doesn’t know. Star may have a big fucking mouth, but for once, she actually kept one of my secrets and now I’m broadcasting it for the world. Shit. This is not something I wanted to get into today.

I take a deep breath and compose myself. The more I talk about it, the more people I share my story with, the easier it becomes to talk about. I never thought it would ever feel this way, but I am slowly empowered by spilling what a shitbag he is.

“Star didn’t tell you that your brother beat me to a bloody pulp and raped me in Florida?” I flinch when his first smashes into the granite countertop.

“HE WHAT?” His deep voice booms through the entire first floor of the spacious home. I’m scared at his reaction. I’m worried about what will play out now or how Chrome will treat me knowing this.

“Yes, before I came here. That’s what I ran from in Florida when I ended up at Seven’s. When he showed up at Thanksgiving, he tried to intimidate me. That’s when I told River what happened. I confided in him and he pulled all this shit with me. So when I say I’m fucked up and damaged from
your
family, Chrome… fuckin’ believe me. Okay?”

“Paisley, I had no fuckin’ idea. No one said shit to me,” he takes a couple steps backwards, and leans against the kitchen counter. His hands scrub over his face.

“I didn’t mean to hurt River, but he fucked me up. If he has anyone to blame, it’s himself. I didn’t set out to hurt him or anyone else. Shit just happened. I’m done with living in the past. I have to finally move forward and get on with my life. You feel me?”

He just nods, as I swig down a bottle of water.

“Zane is a bad person.”

Well no fucking shit Sherlock. I want to say that too, but I bite my tongue because after all, he is his brother. A complete monster, but they are blood. I just nod in agreement.

“I’ll take care of it,” he says, while pulling his phone from his pocket and heading to the bedroom he shares with Star.

“Chrome, its okay. You don’t have to do anything. I’m okay. Really.” It’s a lie, I honestly wish that Chrome would put him to ground, but it’s his brother. I could never ask him for something like that.

“Paisley, we may live by a different set of rules, but what he did isn’t acceptable. I don’t give a damn if he’s my brother or not. The club doesn’t stand for shit like that. Simple.” The door slams and I guess that’s the end of that conversation. I only hope whatever happens doesn’t come back to me, because my only fear is Zane coming after me for retaliation for whatever Chrome will do.

Star rounds the corner trying to look like she didn’t hear any of that conversation, but I’m sure her nosy ass ears heard it all.

“How much of that did you hear?” I question.

“Too much.” She shrugs.

“So, Chrome and I decided we aren’t gonna have a big wedding. We are just gonna head up to Niagara Falls in a couple weeks. You think you can stay here for a week and watch the house and girls while we’re gone?” I never pegged her for the big wedding type and I am kind of relieved. I didn’t want to wear some pink poofy dress anyway.

“Yeah, I can do that.”

“Seven is gonna be coming up for a little while. She’s having some issues down in Manhattan. She needs a bit of a getaway. So you won’t be completely alone with the girls.” I want to jump and fist pump just because I love Seven. She’s kind of cooler than my sister, but I would never tell Star that. Ever.

“Whatever works. Just let me know when and I will hold down the fort and the store. Speaking of the store - the painting classes are full. Apparently the town loves your instruction. I was thinking about opening up an Etsy store for some of the paintings, prints, and jewelry we have on display too.” My involvement in the art store had become bigger with each day going by. I loved the way I could go there and take my mind off of things.

The towns people were friendly and funny as well. Quirky would describe them perfectly, but their colorful characters really made this town exactly what I loved. I started making jewelry as a hobby while working. It was only something I wanted to do for myself, but apparently the pieces I’ve been making caught the attention of quite a few people. I found orders coming in, interest flooding, and then I discovered Etsy. It was a great way I would be able to make some money on my own.

Of course Diesel kept going on about wanting to take care of me, but I’m just not the kind of girl to depend on someone else to support me. When I came to Woodstock, I wanted independence and I’m slowly working on gaining it.

Who said I can’t be independent and have a man in my life? Women do it everyday, right?

“Whats up with Seven?” I’m curious because she didn’t seem the least bit stressed or upset when I talked to her last. But, things can change so quickly. Of all people, I should know that.

“Something about Levi being overprotective or something.” And it all makes sense. He’s so protective of her and the baby. I listened to him nag about this and that when I was a houseguest. I shouldn’t have listened, but sometimes they weren’t quiet about it at all. Whatever. That is for them to work out.

“Poor Seven,” I laugh. I wonder if Levi will stalk her all the way up here just to make sure she’s having enough green veggies or taking her prenatal vitamins.

Sitting cross-legged on my bed and opening up my laptop, I work on a new chapter of my story tonight. It’s been a couple days since I wrote and I feel the need to purge all of the new thoughts and emotions. Writing has become the healthiest form of therapy for me. When other people would have turned to negative behavior or drugs, I turned to words and it’s worked so incredibly well.

I often find myself comparing my actions and life to the things Star has endured. Her situation with Blue was different. He’s a predator, and while Zane is as well, he was a stranger. Not someone I was raised to trust.

I worry about Chrome and whatever the club is going to do to him. I don’t worry about Zane at all. I honestly hope he rots in hell. If I had the chance to do him in, I would. I could think of a number of ways to torture him before I let him slowly bleed out. I have to shake my head to clear out the disturbing thoughts. They come so easily when I think about anything that has to do with him.

My hurt from being his victim has turned into rage. I never thought I would find a time where I could feel healed enough to move onto this stage of dealing with my rape. But, I’m also refreshed that I have. Maybe I’m just sadistic. Maybe I’m not the average victim. I don’t know, because Star is the only person I know who has been violated at the hands of a man and I don’t dare ask her to speak of her experience. I don’t think I could stomach knowing the details either.

After I save my document, I check my email and jot down all the new custom orders I need to complete this week - steadily coming in from the store’s new Etsy site. I silently pat myself on the back for starting something worth a shit for once. I really think I finally found my calling.

My phone buzzes with a text message and I realize it’s River. I haven’t spoken with him since he left my house the day Diesel came back from the road. I felt bad the way we left everything. I do care about him so much. He helped me through some of my darkest hours. But, when I see him, I relate him to so much of my pain. Including pain he caused me.

How are you feeling?

I hate that he’s asking because of the baby. I hate being stuck in the middle of these two men because of the little person growing inside of me, but I’m going to have to get used to it until I can figure out who this little nugget’s dad is.

I’m ok. Still a little sick in the morning.

But I’ve found ways 2 deal with it.

It’s the truth. Overall, I’m miserable when I get out of bed daily. But after a couple saltines with peanut butter and a Dr. Pepper, I’m ready to roll for the day. Don’t judge me for soda in the morning. It helps. A lot better than Ginger Ale I might add!

I’ve started taking my pre-natal vitamins in the afternoon on a full stomach. It prevents me from throwing them back up. My first appointment is next week. Apparently
doctors
don’t really want to see you before you are about nine or ten weeks along, almost out of your first trimester. I’m still new to it all. I’m often lost when it comes to this shit. Here I was thinking the first trimester was the most important, and I guess it is, just not in the doctor’s eyes.