Thin Air (20 page)

‘Yes. Yes.’ Jay felt weak now,
drained of energy. She wasn’t sure if she was sad about Gus leaving
or just sneakily relieved. She felt excited, certainly, and that
must be connected with Dex. Should she confide in Gina about that?
The story of Julie’s strange communications with her brother, Zeke
Michaels’ threats and Dex’s unexpected reappearance seemed like the
concoctions of a deluded mind. Gina prided herself on her
down-to-earth nature. Jay could not even guess how she might react
to all this information.

While she waited for Gina to
arrive, Jay paced around the flat. She’d have to buy Gus off, but
that wouldn’t be too much of a problem. She could borrow the money
if necessary. It was still unbelievable to her that Gus was so
quick to judge her. How could he believe she’d been seeing Dex
behind his back? What evidence was there? Still, she had to admit
that had the opportunity existed, she might have been able to get
away with it. Her job meant that she was often out at night on her
own, until the early hours of the morning, and Gus’ work regularly
took him away from home, sometimes for weeks at a time.

I wish I had had an affair, Jay
thought. Why didn’t I? She sighed. Because I thought I was happy.
My life was regular and secure. I had no desire to be unfaithful to
Gus.

She flopped down onto the sofa.
Only a couple of weeks ago, her existence had been so normal. Now,
it seemed she was at the brink of a new stage of her life. Big
changes. Perhaps it would be for the better. She’d existed in a
cocoon for the last few years, Gus being her shield against the
world. She couldn’t believe that Dex had just popped back into her
life again, only to leave it again for eternity. He would be back.
She’d see him again. She just knew it.

Gina threw her arms around Jay
as soon as she opened the door. Her leather jacket was stiff with
cold and she brought a spicy aroma of approaching winter into the
flat. Bottles clanked together in a carrier bag that banged against
Jay’s back.

‘Jay, what the hell’s going on?’
Gina asked, marching into the living room and discarding her jacket
and scarf along the way. She sat down on the sofa with the bag
between her feet, and pulled out a litre of gin. ‘Glasses, girl. We
have some serious drinking to do.’

Jay fetched two tumblers and sat
down on the floor. ‘Gina, my life has gone crazy. It’s so crazy, I
don’t know where to begin. All I ask is that you have an open mind,
and just bear with me.’

Gina raised her brows. ‘You’ve
been holding out on me, haven’t you? I knew it. Jay, I’ve known you
for years. I could tell there were things on your mind after you
got home last week, and you haven’t called me as regularly.
Why?’

Jay wriggled her shoulders
uncomfortably. ‘I don’t know. I thought about calling you...’

‘And the other night, you just
weren’t there with me in the pub, but miles away. Come on,’ she
poured gin into the glasses, ‘tell me everything.’

Even as she began her story, Jay
was still torn about whether she should be opening up to Gina like
this. Gina could be very opinionated, and Jay dreaded that she was
simply invoking some kind of lecture at the end of her tale. She
just couldn’t bring herself to mention the incident in the
supermarket the night before, but passed it by, taking up the story
again when Michaels and his friends had been waiting for her
outside.

‘It was vile. I don’t know what
they think I’ve got. But someone is spreading lies about me. All
this stuff about Dex. It’s mad. Where’s it coming from?’

Gina stuck out her lower lip,
looked perplexed. ‘It’s all very weird, I’ll say that. It’s got to
be something to do with these tapes of Dex’s.’

‘Obviously, and I think that one
of them was in that box Dex hid in Torton. Someone must have
discovered it and took the tape.’ She frowned. ‘And yet when I
found that box, it looked as if it hadn’t been moved for
years.’

‘Oh, the weather can do its work
in a few months, Jay. Someone must have taken it. What about this
Julie? She sounds a bit odd, to say the least. Maybe she took the
tape.’

Jay shook her head. ‘I don’t
think so. She seems genuine enough. Why would she want to take
it?’

Gina pulled a knowing face,
ducked her head. ‘Well, it’s clear to me that she and Dex must be
up to something. You don’t really believe that crap about how she’s
in some kind of telepathic contact with him, do you?’

Jay looked away from Gina’s
gaze. ‘I knew you’d find that hard to swallow.’

‘Jay, come on,’ Gina cajoled.
‘She’s either off her head or lying.’

‘Perhaps. If it’s either of
those, I’d go for the former. She doesn’t strike me as a liar. I
really warmed to her.’

Gina took a sip of gin. ‘So, I
have to ask this, Jay. Is there any truth at all in the rumours?
Has Dex been in touch with you?’

Jay felt her face begin to burn,
despite her determination to stay cool. ‘Well, this is even
weirder. It wasn’t true. Until last night.’

Gina’s eyebrows shot up. ‘You’ve
heard from him?’

‘I saw him. At the supermarket
down the road.’

Gina laughed. ‘Now that’s a
mysterious venue for a meeting! What did he say?’

‘Nothing much. It was a very
brief encounter. He warned me though. Implied I might be in trouble
- because of him. It is to do with these tapes, I’m sure, but I
haven’t got them, and I don’t know where they are.’ She sighed.
‘Dex looked like he’d been living in a hedge - a right state. He’s
not well, obviously.’ She rubbed her face with both hands.
‘Everyone thinks I’m in collusion with Dex, and I’m not, but
now...’ She stared at her friend through her fingers, ‘I can’t deny
having seen him anymore. What the hell am I going to do?’

Gina fished in her bag for her
cigarettes. ‘Well, the first thing you need to do is forget all
about Sakrilege and their shenanigans, Dex, the lot. You need to
sort your personal life out, make the peace with Gus.’

‘I don’t think I want to do
that.’

‘Oh, come on! A few weeks ago,
you were the ideal couple. You can’t just want to let that slip
away.’

‘I’m no longer sure how ideal we
were. I think I want to build a new life now.’

‘Because Dex is back on the
scene?’

Again, Jay felt herself colour
up. Only Gina had this effect on her, made her feel sixteen again.
‘That’s not the reason. Gus is a pompous arse. I overlooked it,
because our relationship was safe and convenient, and also, I
didn’t really have to see that much of him, if you think about it.
I can’t forgive the way he’s spoken to me, nor the fact that he’s
so quick to judge and believe the worst. A real lover would ask
questions before condemning. Gus never gave me a chance. His mind
was made up about me even before he came through the door.’ Apart
from that one last chance, Jay thought, when he asked me to look
him in the eye. She pushed the memory from her mind. ‘He wants
money from me for the flat.’

‘Will you manage?’

‘Yeah. I might have to work a
bit harder for a while, but it won’t kill me.’

Gina sighed, shook her head. ‘I
can’t believe this, Jay. It’s all happening too quickly. I think
you and Gus both need time to think about this. How much have you
told him?’

‘Nothing,’ Jay spat. ‘Why should
I?’

‘Jay, Jay,’ Gina murmured.
‘Think about what you’re saying. Step back. You can’t just throw
away what you had. It’s like you’ve built up an obsession about Dex
again, and some part of you thinks you can yank back the past. But
you can’t. In my opinion, you should tell the truth to everyone.
They’ll have to believe you. Dex broke you apart once. Remember
that. Don’t let him do it again.’

‘We don’t know the
circumstances,’ Jay said stiffly, feeling as if she was being
backed into a corner. ‘Can’t you see my point of view? I’m being
tried, convicted and sentenced over nothing. How would you feel if
it was you?’

Gina held her gaze for a moment.
‘I can understand the way you feel, but this is just something
you’ve inadvertently become involved in. It’s not your problem, and
you should fight to make that clear.’

‘How? It’s obvious what Michaels
and Gus think of me: I’m a deceiving bitch. Nothing I say will make
them change their minds.’

‘You don’t know that, not
really.’

Jay disliked the cajoling tone
Gina was using. This was her best friend, and she felt as if she
was being treated like a fool by her. She should have called
someone else. But who? Years ago, Grant Fenton had been her
confidant, but even though their friendship had lasted, it was no
longer that close. Julie was too far away to just pop round, and
their friendship was too new for this. Jay couldn’t think of
another single person to whom she’d feel comfortable revealing her
private life. She had hundreds of acquaintances but, apart from
Gina, no real friends. It was this disgusting business she was in,
full of husks who looked like people.

I want to run away. Now.

She sipped her gin, full of a
yearning for some kind of freedom she’d never known.

Jay was woken up by the
telephone ringing at ten o’clock; she was awake immediately, her
nerves alert. Rather than let the answerphone take it, she picked
up the extension by the bed. Disappointingly, Zeke Michaels voice
oozed down the line. ‘Don’t hang up,’ he said, clearly aware of her
feelings for him before he even began to speak. ‘I’m sorry about
the other night, Jay.’

‘Sorry? That’s not good
enough.’

‘Have you had time to think
about what I said? Don’t you think it would be better if...?’

‘OK, you got to my boyfriend
somehow, and you’ll no doubt be happy to learn he’s left me.
Unfortunately, this means you can’t use him as a lever any more.
Goodbye.’ She slammed down the phone.

Gina appeared in the doorway,
her hair mussed by sleep, her eyes puffy. ‘Who was that?’

‘Michaels. Bastard!’

‘Did you try to explain?’

‘No.’ Jay swung out of bed. ‘I
have some work to deliver today. Better get on with it.’

‘I’ll make coffee,’ said
Gina.

Jay drove over
the offices of ‘Track’ in the afternoon. Normally, she’d e-mail her
work in, but today, she felt like she wanted to see some human
faces. She had friends at ‘Track’, didn’t she? She just never
bothered to cultivate them. Now was the time. She felt quite
optimistic.

‘Track’ was situated on the
third floor of a new office block, where the immense reception was
dominated by a huge statue of naked men wrestling. Jay uttered a
friendly hello to the young woman at the desk, who gave her an
identification tag. ‘Go on up,’ said the receptionist, beaming.

‘Yeah! See you.’ Jay felt
optimistic and energetic. Today, the world was a better place. She
was glad that Gus had finished their relationship.

In the main office, a vast open
plan room, intersected by fabric covered boards and specimen
plants, Jay homed in on the desk of Lorna Templeton. Lorna was
younger than Jay by about ten years; a sleek woman, whose coutured
exterior hid a wild streak and a raucous sense of humour. She and
Jay had got on quite well at occasional ‘Track’ parties.

Jay dropped her briefcase onto
Lorna’s desk. ‘Hi, how’s it going?’

Lorna looked up at her, and for
a split second her face seemed closed-in, suspicious. Jay’s
instincts were immediately alert. Then Lorna managed a smile and
said, ‘Hi, fine. You?’

‘Not too bad. I’m just here to
see Grant. Is he in?’

‘Yeah. Think so.’ Lorna looked
back at her computer screen, pressed a few keys on the
keyboard.

Jay paused before leaving.
‘Fancy a drink later?’

Lorna glanced up again, briefly,
and smiled in a tight way. ‘Um... well, can’t really. Sorry.’

It was a dismissal, Jay thought.
‘Oh well, never mind. ‘See you.’

‘Yeah. See you.’

Jay squared her shoulders and
walked purposefully down the office. Lorna was busy, that’s all,
but her guts were telling her something was amiss. She felt as if
all eyes were upon her, that whispers lay on the tongue of every
person in the office, and yet they all appeared to be working hard,
their heads down. Perhaps they’d heard about Gus already, or the
Dex rumours. Gossip was passed round like flu in this business.

Jay breezed into Grant Fenton’s
office, a big smile on her face. ‘Hi there!’

‘Jay!’ He looked surprised to
see her. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘Thought I’d bring that feature
in. Needed to get out of the flat for a while.’ She sat down on a
leather chair opposite his desk. ‘You’re putting weight on, Grant.
Lucky for you you’ve kept most of your hair.’

Grant frowned, but clearly not
at her last comment. ‘What feature is this, Jay?’

‘You know, the Devon Klein one.
I interviewed her a few days ago, and I’m actually before deadline,
so don’t pretend you don’t know.’

Before he spoke, a stillness
came into the room and entered Jay’s body. She knew, as if she had
the power of a psychic, that things were very wrong. Control was
being taken away from her. Grant actually cleared his throat, his
hand before his mouth. ‘Jay, we’ll not be needing that piece
now.’

‘Excuse me? It was high priority
a few weeks ago. A scoop, you said.’ Her voice was deadpan, but her
heart had speeded up.

Grant was not the sort of person
to avoid her eyes, but what she saw in his gaze did not reassure
her. ‘I’m sorry, Jay. Perhaps another magazine can use it.’

‘What is this? You wanted that
piece, Grant. You asked me to do it, and I did it.’

‘I was going to call you.
Something else has come up, and we’ve changed our main feature for
December.’

Jay frowned, shook her head
quizzically. ‘That’s a bloody quick change, then! Why didn’t you
tell me sooner? What do you want instead? It’s bloody
inconvenient.’