The Wildest Heart (14 page)

For the first time, I saw anger in Mark's eyes as he looked down at me. Anger, and a kind of baffled frustration.

“But you think
I'm
easily manipulated, don't you? I think you're using me to get back at Uncle Todd, Rowena, and I can't say that the idea pleases me.”

His sudden perspicacity made me flush with annoyance and embarrassment. Was I running away from Todd Shannon? Would
he
think so?

I said, “I'm sorry, Mark. You're right, of course. But I don't like being bullied.”

He gave a short, unhappy laugh. “I'm sure you won't allow yourself to be. You're a strong, self-contained person, almost as strong-willed as my uncle, I think. And I cannot honestly criticize you for thinking me weak in comparison to him.” His fingers tightened over mine for an instant and he said in a low voice, “Until now, you see, I have never felt strongly enough about anything to take issue with him.”

“You mean that you would stand up against him for me?” My eyes widened. I was seeing a new side to Mark this evening, and it made me feel ashamed to think I had been baiting him deliberately, venting my chagrin at his uncle on him.

“I would do anything for you,” Mark said now, his blue eyes suddenly so piercingly bright that they reminded me of Todd's. “If I knew there was a chance I might win you in the end. Your respect, at least, if not your love.”

The music ended, to my relief, before I could find words to answer him with. What could I have told him? I liked Mark, but I did not love him. I had found that in spite of my dislike for Todd Shannon, there was an odd physical attraction between us that I did not quite know how to cope with. It made me almost afraid.

If he had not swept me again into his arms soon after my dance with Mark ended, asking what we had been talking about with such solemn faces, I might have acted more sensibly. But Todd Shannon made me feel smothered, especially when he dared display signs of incipient jealousy.

“I asked Mark when he would be taking me home, and he informed me it was the custom in this part of the world that dinner guests should stay overnight. Did you order him not to tell me that before?”

It put me at a disadvantage, having to tilt my head far back in order to look into his face, and he made it even more difficult for me by holding me far too closely in his arms.

“You mistake me for a greenhorn if that's what you think, missy! I just took if for granted someone would tell you, I guess. You'd do the same if you were invited to have dinner with the Bradys, or the Kilkennys. It's just accepted around here that dinner guests spend the night.” An unholy light danced in his eyes as he grinned mockingly down at me. “What did you think I had cooked up for you, eh? A nice little private seduction? When you get to know me better, you'll find I don't believe in sneakin' around. I'm gonna have you yet, girl, but when I do you're going to want it as much as I do.”

“You're the most conceited, arrogant man I've yet had the misfortune to encounter! If you think that I…”

“At least I don't play games, little girl. Ain't the type to go pussyfootin' around, wastin' time on long courtships. When I find what I want, I go out and get it.”

I controlled my rising temper with difficulty. “How flattering to me. But if I should ever decide to marry, I'll make my own choice, thank you!”

“You're like a little kitten, showing your claws! Well, that's all right. Wouldn't want you if you was a doormat. Just don't take too long, hear? I ain't a patient man.”

He laughed down into my flushed, angry face and began to whirl me around until I was breathless, holding me tightly against him. He was determined to show me his strength and how puny and insignificant my efforts would be if I continued to fight him.

But I would show him! Yes, I would show him exactly how much he'd mistaken his woman!

“How are you and Pa getting on?” Flo Jeffords asked maliciously. “He sure seems mighty pleased with himself!”

Clad only in a thin, ribbon-trimmed chemise, she stretched her arms above her head like a lazy cat, but I saw how closely her eyes watched me in the mirror.

Sitting on the edge of her bed, I continued to brush my hair, shrugging casually. “I can't help that. He takes entirely too much for granted, of course, but that's his mistake.”

“You gave in about staying the night, didn't you?”

“It would have made me appear ridiculous to have made a scene. And I could hardly find my way back home by myself.”

“I know the way Pa goes about things. He's going to want you to stay on. First we'll all sleep in late, and then there'll be a big breakfast. He'll take you riding, and maybe ask if you want to see the books. He'll find reasons to keep you busy until it's dinnertime again.”

“Oh?” I raised an eyebrow. “It sounds as if he does this often!”

“Are you jealous! Of course he's done it before. Pa's a man, and there have been women who have caught his eye. Don't think you're the only one. But I guess your being half owner of the SD makes it different.”

“It makes no difference to me what his motives are,” I stated calmly. “In any case, I intend to leave very early, before the rest of your stepfather's guests are up, if possible. Since you're no more anxious than I to have me stay, why don't you sheathe your claws long enough to wake me at about six or seven, shall we say?
He'll
sleep late too, I hope!”

She swung around to face me, her eyes suddenly gleaming.

“You mean that? You'd actually go against Pa that way? Oh, but he'll be fit to be tied! My goodness,
I'd
hate to face him after you did a thing like that!”

“I'm sure you'll contrive some way to fasten all the blame on me. Tell him I insisted, and you could do nothing to deter me. After all, I'm not his prisoner!”

Flo giggled spitefully. “It might just be worth getting him mad at me, just to see his face! You really mean it?
He
won't sleep late of course. He's always up at six like the rest of the men, no matter how late he stays up. But he'll ride out with them, and he won't be back before nine or ten. If you're really determined, I'll lend you a riding habit.” She laughed again. “Maybe I'll even ride part of the way with you. I don't think I'd like to face either Pa or Mark, until they've both had a chance to cool down some.”

“That's very kind of you. And you're welcome to ride all the way with me, if you'd like to. I daresay Marta can fix us an adequate breakfast.” I stifled a yawn. “And now that that's settled, don't you think we ought to get some sleep while we can?”

“You're a cool one, I must say that much for you,” Flo admitted grudgingly as she climbed into the wide bed beside me. She stretched again and yawned. “Heavens, I'm so
tired.
But I'll be sure and wake in time. I've done with much less sleep before, when I've had to.”

I was tired too, and in spite of the fact that I was not used to sharing a bed with someone else I must have slept soundly, waking only when Flo shook me by the shoulder.

“It's past six! Pa rode out a little less than an hour ago, all fired up because one of the boys rode in to say someone cut one of the fences. That means we have a little more time. You still want to leave?”

I sat bolt upright, shaking the hair out of my eyes. “I certainly do!” Flo was dressed already, in
a maroon riding habit with a divided skirt. She was almost friendly this morning.

“There's warm water in the pitcher, and I laid out my green habit for you to wear. You
do
ride astride, don't you?”

“I've done it before,” I said grimly, remembering the shocked comments this had excited among the good British ladies of Jhanpur.

“Well, then, while you're dressing I'll go downstairs and have two horses saddled up. Better hurry, because when Pa finds out he's likely to come after us!”

I hurried, used to dressing fast if I had to. I had folded my velvet ball gown carefully before I went to bed, but I would have to leave it. Perhaps Mark would bring it back to me. I slipped the jewelry I'd worn into the pocket of Flo's riding habit, a garment which fit me adequately enough. Having no time to do much with my hair I merely combed it free of tangles and braided it, coiling the single, thick braid to form a loose knot at the back of my neck.

I had hardly done so when Flo sped back upstairs, dosing the door behind her with exaggerated care. “Do come on, but you have to be very quiet. Mark's room is at the end of the hall, and I don't want him to hear us.”

I was reminded of some schoolgirlish escapade—the kind of mischief I had never had an opportunity to indulge in.

For the first time I had an uneasy feeling—a kind of apprehension that I was behaving in a silly, spiteful fashion. But it was too late for regrets now, and if Todd Shannon thought I was running away from him, let him think it! For now, I should think only of escape.

A gangly young man who eyed us both curiously was holding the horses when Flo and I emerged from the house. She gave him a dazzling smile, which immediately made him blush and shuffle his feet.

“Ben, you are the nicest, kindest man! Remind me to tell you so again when we get back, hear?”

He stuttered, “Er—Miz Jeffords—you all ain't goin' to ride too far, are you? Mr. Shannon wouldn't like it if he thought—I mean—”

He was helping Flo to mount her mare, while I mounted my horse unaided, and I saw her pat his shoulder gently, an action which seemed to render him speechless.

“Now, Ben! You know I've lived here long enough to be careful. And this lady is Mr. Dangerfield's daughter. She hasn't had a chance to see
our
part of the range yet. Isn't that right, Rowena?”

I felt sorry for poor, adoring Ben, but I had my own fish to fry, so I smiled at him just as guilefully as Flo had done and said we only meant to have a nice, healthful ride early in the morning, before the sun became too hot.

She began to laugh after we had cantered out of sight.

“Poor Ben! Did you see the calf eyes he made at me? He'd do anything I asked him to!”

I suddenly thought of Luke Cord, the young man who, they said, had almost raped Flo. Had he too been as enamored of her as Ben obviously was? And did she know that he had been seen in these parts? I was suddenly very curious about Flo Jeffords. She was a woman that most men would find attractive, and she was sure of her charms and power over men. What had she been like when she was only fifteen, and the belle of the countryside?

Flo was a good rider, and after a sidewise glance to make sure I was capable of keeping up with her, she urged her little mare to the gallop. I followed, easily enough. The horse that had been provided for me was of Arab extraction, though a trifle smaller and sturdier. It was a gelding, about four years old, and inclined to be a trifle frisky until he realized I would stand for no nonsense.

After a while I caught up with Flo, and we rode side by side, following a trail of faint depressions left by wagons and buckboards.

“No use winding our horses—it's quite a way yet,” Flo said and I nodded, leaving the conversation, if we had any, up to her.

She didn't remain silent for too long. Pretty soon I saw her look towards me, her eyes shining. “Well? What do you think of the SD? Of the
palacìo
my father has built? Are you sure you wouldn't like to live there, after all?
Your
little house is hardly what you're used to, I expect!” She gave a mocking little laugh. “It's really odd that you've stayed so long. We expected you to go back to Boston within a week, at the most. Pa can't abide plain women around him, you know, and the way you looked when you first arrived here! Then, when my aunt's letter arrived, he was furious because he thought you were up to some kind of trickery. He wasn't even sure that you
were
Uncle Guy's daughter!”

“I expect he's convinced of that fact by now,” I responded levelly. “Do you make a habit of being deliberately rude to other women? Or it is only because you don't like
me
?”

She was taken aback for a moment, and then her eyes began to sparkle maliciously. “Oh, my! So you can be rude, too, when it suits you. But in this case, you ought to thank me for being so direct. He's a difficult man to live with. He can be very hard. And sooner or later, he would get to you.” She looked at me from under her lashes, as if gauging my reactions. “I don't think he's capable of really loving another woman, you know. Not since his first wife, Alma, died. But I expect you heard all about it when you were in Boston. Corinne Davidson is such a nasty little gossip!”

I didn't let her see that her slighting reference to Corinne had angered me. Instead I said coolly, “But he married your mother, did he not? And adopted you? He must have cared for her.”

Flo's pretty face hardened.

“He only married her to get a housekeeper, and a hostess for all his guests. And to have sons, of course. My mother had been ill, but
he
didn't care! He only came to her bed when he was drunk. He spends most of his time in Alma's room!”

“But she's dead!” I burst out, startled in spite of myself.

“Not to him! She'll never be dead, as far as he's concerned. I guess they didn't live together long enough for him to tire of her. He had a room especially furnished with all the furniture they planned to buy together, when he made his money. And he had her portrait painted from an old photograph. I used to imagine, when I was younger, that I could hear him talking to her. I could almost imagine she answered him! Don't you see? The real reason my mother died was because she couldn't bear to live with the ghost of a dead woman any longer! She loved him, but he made her unhappy with his indifference and his moods. I think, at the end, when she lost the baby, she was afraid to live, and to face him with the knowledge that she had failed him. And that is what you would have to live with too, if you were fool enough to marry him!”

There was a note of haunted desperation in Flo's voice that moved me. She was a spoiled, vain creature, but she could not have been happy.

“He's kind to you, isn't he?” I said quietly.

“He adopted me as his daughter, which only makes me one of his possessions. Of course he gives me everything I want. Everything that his money can buy, that is!”

“Why did you come back here then, if you're unhappy here?”

“Because I couldn't stand to live with Derek any longer, that's why!
You
wouldn't understand. I married him to escape from that horrible school Pa put me into. It was worse than prison! And Aunt Katherine, and Mark, and that mealymouthed Corinne—all patronizing me, talking in whispers behind my back, looking at me as if I was a kind of leper! Derek had money, he said he loved me, he'd give me anything I wanted. But it wasn't enough! He's an old, flabby man with foul breath. Ugh! I thought I'd be sick every time I had to lie next to him in bed, every time he put his clammy hands on me! But
you
wouldn't know how that is, would you? I don't think there's any passion or feeling in you. You're always so calm, so controlled. ‘A puritanical spinster' Pa called you after the first time we met. What would
you
know of anything but your safe, quiet little world?”

“It might benefit you to exercise some self-control occasionally,” I said sharply, for her eyes had filled with tears of rage and frustration. “And to try to understand that other people, too, might have their share of unhappiness and bitter memories locked inside them, even though they may not wear their emotions on their sleeve!”

Flo bit her lip, tossing her head disdainfully. “Are you trying to tell me that
you
have had an unhappy love affair? Is that why you decided to leave the fleshpots of London?”

I could almost laugh at her sudden change of mood.

“I've never had a love affair, fortunately for me, I'm sure. Have you? Is that why you ran away from your husband?”

She shot me a narrow-eyed searching look.

“I
told
you why I left Derek!” she said sullenly. “I just couldn't stand to live with him another minute, that's all! So I just packed my bags and said I was coming to visit Pa, and once I arrived here, Pa couldn't very well send me away because it would have caused talk if he had. And for a while he even seemed glad to see me. Until
you
came,” she added childishly. “
Now,
he's starting to ignore me. Maybe he thinks I'm in the way, that I'm going to interfere!”

“I think you're overdramatizing things,” I told her simply. “I've no intentions of interfering in your affairs, nor in becoming your stepfather's third wife. He's never discussed you with me, and I'm sure he doesn't intend to.”

“That's what you say!” she muttered sulkily, and then fell silent.

I was in no mood to indulge in further discussion with her, for I had enough to think of as it was, and I had already begun to yearn for the peace and tranquility of my own house. No one, and especially not Todd Shannon, was going to destroy that peace.

Flo rode with me for a considerable distance. She was quiet now, deep in thought.

When we had reached the top of a slight ridge, she pointed downward, telling me that I could not fail to find my way back now, and I thought I recognized certain landmarks from other rides I had taken with Mark.

“Are you sure you'd rather not come all the way with me?” I asked her politely. “Marta can give us breakfast, and I could ask Jules to ride with you as far as the ranch. Everybody keeps warning me it's not safe to ride out alone.”